I'm Jamesey
Do a Research Noob
+506|6215|Scotland!

_j5689_ wrote:

I'm Jamesey wrote:

Holy shit I internet diagnosed your Aspergers based on a couple of posts, I should've became a head doctor.

If you care about your social skills and confidence, it shows and it gives off awkward vibes, I could give all the shitty confidence tips in the world but none worked for me, I just outgrew my social anxiety, I know how bad it can be, I went from having more friends than I could count to being unable to get on a bus by myself, and slowly dragged myself back up again.

I gave up hunting a girlfriend and ended up with one way out of my league without trying at all, so in my opinion its easier when you're not over analysing your every move.

Try making fun of yourself, or the girl when it gets awkward, my girlfriend says one of the things that made her like me so much was that she felt comfortable with me, even when shit got awkward because no matter how cringey it got, I just made fun of her or myself and it made her relax.
I got diagnosed with Asperger's a long time ago at a legitimate psych evaluation place in Baltimore.

And perhaps you just got lucky or something.  I wouldn't expect it to just happen like that but it seems to be the only way it's ever going to happen, still I wouldn't know when to take it seriously or not once the opportunity came and also wouldn't know how not to devote all my effort and attention to any possible prospects, which, from what you say, is at least part of what seems to be fucking it up for me.

And give me an example of the making fun of her or yourself part when it gets awkward, I can actually imagine that going well but wouldn't be sure how to formulate it.
Hmm its hard to remember totally cringeworthy moments but maybe its just me and my girlfriend being so comfortable with each other.

Last awkward moment I can remember is me and my girlfriend being baited into discussing the ins and outs of me giving her a golden shower in the middle of a party full of friends and my younger brother and sister, no awkwardness, just hilarity.

Maybe we're just shameless

Just learn to be comfortable with yourself, and laugh at yourself. A while back I got into an argument with somebody at a party and on my way outside to stomp him he cheapshotted me in the back of the head and I flew headfirst down a flight of cement stairs on to my head and knocked myself the fuck out.

I never got pissy or cried about it, I went back in bleeding down my neck and continued to drink, joking about how I think he knocked some sense into me. If I got into a rage or cried about being knocked out it would've ruined the party, but being able to ignore a tense moment and laugh helped everybody relax around me.
ghettoperson
Member
+1,943|6732

Bevo wrote:

like for example at my last party when only 8 or so people showed up, 7 of them dudes, I was like "nice party [mynamehere]" whenever it got dull

always worth a giggle
That sounds terrible.
FFLink
There is.
+1,380|6774|Devon, England

I'm Jamesey wrote:

Last awkward moment I can remember is me and my girlfriend being baited into discussing the ins and outs of me giving her a golden shower in the middle of a party full of friends and my younger brother and sister, no awkwardness, just hilarity.
Wait, what?
m3thod
All kiiiiiiiiinds of gainz
+2,197|6754|UK
urine for a good time.
Blackbelts are just whitebelts who have never quit.
Macbeth
Banned
+2,444|5668

I got a text message from one of my ex girlfriends yesterday. She is still dating the same guy but wanted to hang out. It breaks my heart, I still love her, she's the best I can ever do.

How do you stop liking a person? I don't want to care for her emotionally anymore. It makes me sad.
h4hagen
Whats my age again?
+91|6436|Troy, New York

Macbeth wrote:

I got a text message from one of my ex girlfriends yesterday. She is still dating the same guy but wanted to hang out. It breaks my heart, I still love her, she's the best I can ever do.

How do you stop liking a person? I don't want to care for her emotionally anymore. It makes me sad.
Just cut of all contact. Its tough, but its really the only way.
Mekstizzle
WALKER
+3,611|6704|London, England

Macbeth wrote:

I got a text message from one of my ex girlfriends yesterday. She is still dating the same guy but wanted to hang out. It breaks my heart, I still love her, she's the best I can ever do.

How do you stop liking a person? I don't want to care for her emotionally anymore. It makes me sad.
yeah she's a bitch


you just need to cut all contact and ignore it all, eventually it'll sort of go away
Archer
rapes face
+161|6507|Canuckistan
So, I've been seeing this girl for the past few months. At first we got on great, I was having the time of my life! We clicked, you know? We just clicked. But ever since she's been hanging out with this douche, (named Mackenzie, everyone just calls him Mac.) we just can't seem to make ends meet. Because of him, she doesn't seem to think right anymore, and that certainly doesn't help to save our relationship!

I think I'm going to dump her ass to the bin, what do you guys think of my idea?

Last edited by Archer (2010-07-01 07:56:37)

Pochsy
Artifice of Eternity
+702|5626|Toronto

Archer wrote:

So, I've been seeing this girl for the past few months. At first we got on great, I was having the time of my life! We clicked, you know? We just clicked. But ever since she's been hanging out with this douche, (named Mackenzie, everyone just calls him Mac.) we just can't seem to make ends meet. Because of him, she doesn't seem to think right anymore, and that certainly doesn't help to save our relationship!

I think I'm going to dump her ass to the bin, what do you guys think of my idea?
I think you should her i have sex with her immediately before you dump her, then blame it on her poor skills in bed just to make her self-conscious.
The shape of an eye in front of the ocean, digging for stones and throwing them against its window pane. Take it down dreamer, take it down deep. - Other Families
1927
The oldest chav in the world
+2,423|6756|Cardiff, Capital of Wales
Archer - Sack that mutha fucker off asap, in a nice way of course like I did Tues night.  She wants a bit of Mac, and tbf, who can blame her? He's gonna rip her in half, she'll be walking like John Wayne this time next week mate wether your with her or not.
13rin
Member
+977|6562
she's into the other guy... Or he's into her -literally. Dump her.  Kick dude's ass. Bang her friend & dude's sister.

Uzique is right though -there's a whole 2000 page fuck all thread dedicated to this.
I stood in line for four hours. They better give me a Wal-Mart gift card, or something.  - Rodney Booker, Job Fair attendee.
eleven bravo
Member
+1,399|5342|foggy bottom
id dump her but i wouldnt kick dudes ass.  Id shake his hand.
Tu Stultus Es
I'm Jamesey
Do a Research Noob
+506|6215|Scotland!

FFLink wrote:

I'm Jamesey wrote:

Last awkward moment I can remember is me and my girlfriend being baited into discussing the ins and outs of me giving her a golden shower in the middle of a party full of friends and my younger brother and sister, no awkwardness, just hilarity.
Wait, what?
Psht everbody does this, surely?
Hurricane2k9
Pendulous Sweaty Balls
+1,538|5784|College Park, MD

Archer wrote:

So, I've been seeing this girl for the past few months. At first we got on great, I was having the time of my life! We clicked, you know? We just clicked. But ever since she's been hanging out with this douche, (named Mackenzie, everyone just calls him Mac.) we just can't seem to make ends meet. Because of him, she doesn't seem to think right anymore, and that certainly doesn't help to save our relationship!

I think I'm going to dump her ass to the bin, what do you guys think of my idea?
dump the fucking whore and then set the guy on fire

dump his body in one of the Great Lakes

escape to the Northwest Territory.
https://static.bf2s.com/files/user/36793/marylandsig.jpg
ghettoperson
Member
+1,943|6732

Kill the whore
Fuck the dude
Marry Pochsy
Lai
Member
+186|6234

_j5689_ wrote:

Once it goes awkward at all ever, I'm completely done and written off by them.  I'm tired of it happening, every prospect in high school, it eventually somehow got to the point where they wouldn't even say hi to me, and the one I asked out eventually got to the point over time somehow that she actually tried to avoid me.  Half the times it happened, I still don't even know why it became that way.  It could be something I did or even something I didn't do like initiate a conversation.  Which goes back to the awkwardness thing, I like the good moments so much that I don't want them to lose interest by making an awkward conversation the next time, and that itself ends up being the problem.

If you don't have the social ability, you don't have anything at all apparently.


On another note: I recently talked to one of my old teachers who's got Asperger's too and he said I just have to wait for the girl to choose me like he did, and she showed me a pic of his wife, HOLY FUCK he did GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD for a dude with a big ole beer belly like his.  But he said it mostly happens after college and it's harder to happen in college.  Probably gonna have to wait like forever then if that's the case.
Just saying that once you start thinking something might be awkward it will be. Even if something is awkward, what does it matter? Shrugging it off is actually the quickest way to get it to dissappear. If you don't you only get caught up in a downward spiral of awkwardness. Example:

I went shopping the other day and bought myself some duck breasts for dinner. They are quite hard to find over here so I, being a cookaholic, was pretty enthousiastic. I meet up with this girl and tell her what I just got. She says: "I'm sorry Lai, I'm not the kind of person who'd get upset about that". Fuuuuuuuuuuucccccckkkkkkkk,.. in my culinairy enthousiasm I completely forgot she was a vegetarian and now she thought I was taking the piss at her. So I said: "Oh geez, sorry, didn't mean that, forgot you were a vegetarian,.. want a Curly Wurly?" (happened to have a bar in my bag). All was well "

Everyone feels awkward some times, so most people don't really mind. What they do mind is WHY it is awkward. Just a single awkward moment doesn't matter, but when it gets chronic and/or they suspect something to be behind it, it does. Have you ever told these girls you have Asperger, which can cause excessive awkwardeness? Not kidding her, it really might help if they understand.

And the story of your teacher reminds me of this:

https://ascensions.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/beautiful_mind11.jpg


Bevo wrote:

I always find your anecdotes interesting Lai, if you have another one feel free to PM
You'd have to send me a quick recap how much you know, I'm not quite sure where I left you

Alternatively I could send you some silly stories just for lulz.
Bevo
Nah
+718|6604|Austin, Texas

Lai wrote:

You'd have to send me a quick recap how much you know, I'm not quite sure where I left you

Alternatively I could send you some silly stories just for lulz.
Both are acceptable. PM Inbound..

ghettoperson wrote:

Bevo wrote:

like for example at my last party when only 8 or so people showed up, 7 of them dudes, I was like "nice party [mynamehere]" whenever it got dull

always worth a giggle
That sounds terrible.
The party? It was actually quite lolsy.

Last edited by Bevo (2010-07-01 15:03:27)

_j5689_
Dreads & Bergers
+364|6800|Riva, MD

Lai wrote:

Have you ever told these girls you have Asperger, which can cause excessive awkwardeness? Not kidding her, it really might help if they understand.
I'm not sure they'd still wanna bother that way either if I told them that, but I guess they'd have to be interested in the first place.  Plus the pronunciation of Asperger's causes lots of confusion and everything that needs to immediately be clarified or else people won't take you seriously.


Overall just not sure how or when to break it to someone.

Last edited by _j5689_ (2010-07-01 15:07:04)

Lai
Member
+186|6234

_j5689_ wrote:

Lai wrote:

Have you ever told these girls you have Asperger, which can cause excessive awkwardeness? Not kidding her, it really might help if they understand.
I'm not sure they'd still wanna bother that way either if I told them that, but I guess they'd have to be interested in the first place.  Plus the pronunciation of Asperger's causes lots of confusion and everything that needs to immediately be clarified or else people won't take you seriously.


Overall just not sure how or when to break it to someone.
Well in fairness, it would probably make sense to break it to them before they start avoiding you alltogether out of accumulated awkwardness. That sounds pretty tough, but to me it seems you yourself feel that is why 'things go wrong'. So that basically leaves you with the choice of letting things go wrong the natural way or force it through with the added chance that you might find someone mature enough to bother.
Hurricane2k9
Pendulous Sweaty Balls
+1,538|5784|College Park, MD
ok so there's this customer at work I see every so often

she's nice, and we get along alright. I don't talk for ages with her, but whenever I do she usually looks me right in the eyes and is smiling. After the conversation comes to a natural pause, she seems to keep looking me in the eyes for a second or two more, and then gets back to unloading groceries and such.

does this mean anything? or am I simply reading too much into her nonverbal communication?
https://static.bf2s.com/files/user/36793/marylandsig.jpg
Macbeth
Banned
+2,444|5668

Now she isn't returning my calls.
Cybargs
Moderated
+2,285|6799

Macbeth wrote:

Now she isn't returning my calls.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktZaC9mhVTE
Fuck her best friend. Revenge will be sweet.
https://cache.www.gametracker.com/server_info/203.46.105.23:21300/b_350_20_692108_381007_FFFFFF_000000.png
ghettoperson
Member
+1,943|6732

Macbeth wrote:

Now she isn't returning my calls.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktZaC9mhVTE
You know when everyone told you not to contact her? What part of that didn't you get? She's doing you a favour, sack up and get on with your life.

ghettoperson wrote:

Macbeth wrote:

Now she isn't returning my calls.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktZaC9mhVTE
You know when everyone told you not to contact her? What part of that didn't you get? She's doing you a favour, sack up and get on with your life.
beware   the clinger
FFLink
There is.
+1,380|6774|Devon, England

Hurricane2k9 wrote:

ok so there's this customer at work I see every so often

she's nice, and we get along alright. I don't talk for ages with her, but whenever I do she usually looks me right in the eyes and is smiling. After the conversation comes to a natural pause, she seems to keep looking me in the eyes for a second or two more, and then gets back to unloading groceries and such.

does this mean anything? or am I simply reading too much into her nonverbal communication?
Good eye-contact is a good sign, IMO, especially if she's smiling, too.

Unless you're retarded. Then she's probably just proving to herself that she can look you in the eye while she talks, but from what I know, you're not retarded.

Ask her out.

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