Best Worst Joke

2006-11-07 20:33:55

#326

Dieselboy: Flicker of beans since 1986; +87|6762|Reading, Basingrad

Yo mommas so fat....I tried to fuck her and burned my ass on the lightbulb

Q: Whats the difference between a french woman and a basketball team?
A: The basketball team showers after 4 periods.

Q: What is the difference between a catholic priest and acne?
A: Acne waits until your 13 to come on your face.

Q: What has 4 legs and one arm?
A: A Doberman in a playground

Q: What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?
A: A quarter pounder with cheese.

Q: Why did hitler kill himself?
A: He got the gas bill.

Q: What's the difference between a fridge and a queer?
A: A fridge doesn't fart when you pull your meat out!

Q: What turns a nine - stone weakling into a sixteen stone man of steel?
A: Polio.

Q: How many gays does it take to put in a light bulb?
A: Only one...but it takes an entire Emergency Room to get it out.

Q: How do you make your wife scream during sex?
A: Wipe your dick on the curtains.

Last edited by Dieselboy (2006-11-07 20:35:09)

2006-11-08 00:26:45

#327

CC-Marley: Member; +407|7040

What does Woody Allen, Advil ,and Kodak film have in common?

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They all come in little yellow boxes.

2006-11-15 01:02:52

#328

Vub: The Power of Two; +188|6706|Sydney, Australia

Why does no one react when a monarch farts?

Because what’s released are noble gases.

2006-11-15 17:59:47

#329

R0lyP0ly: Member; +161|6865|USA

why do tampons have strings??

So you can floss after eating!

2006-11-16 01:14:50

#330

psH: Banned; +217|6595|Sydney

AchangelTyreal wrote:
B) So you want them banned for discriminating and you call them a faggot which is a derogatory term for gays? You sir are a jackass.

OWNED!

Why didnt the skeleton cross the road?
Couse he had no guts! HAHHAHAHHA!

What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A FLAT MINOR! HAHAH!

Why was six afraid of 7 seven? couse 7 8 9 LMAO

Last edited by Doms (2006-11-16 01:23:26)

2006-11-16 05:24:44

#331

Gillenator: Evils Bammed Sex Machine; +129|6606|Evilsville

What is a Belgian on a trycicle?

A stuntman..

Hahahaha.... (<- sarcastic laughing)

Lame.

2006-11-18 04:31:29

#332

Vonlefteye: Member; +4|6750

Why should you never sleep with a retarded dwarf.............cos its not big and its not clever

2006-11-18 05:18:28

#333

I.M.I Militant: We Are Not Alone In Here; +297|6931|Melbourne, Australia

whats blue and is tide up in the boot of my car - i donno but she isent very good at sex

2006-11-23 02:24:56

#334

psH: Banned; +217|6595|Sydney

I.M.I Militant wrote:
whats blue and is tide up in the boot of my car - i donno but she isent very good at sex

OH OH OH! i know! is it the only female smurf?

2006-11-26 17:03:14

#335

Dizik: It tastes like burning; +23|7027|Moore, OK

What's the difference between: love, true love, and showing off?

Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.

2006-12-01 22:46:17

#336

Tetrino: International OMGWTFBBQ; +200|6942|Uhh... erm...

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To strangle the guy making jokes about it!

Ha. Ha. Ha.

2006-12-01 22:54:56

#337

Andoura: Got loooollllll ?; +853|6850|Montreal, Qc, Canada

how do you make an elephant go up to the 7th floor ????

you make him drink 7 UP !!!!

HA ha HA

Last edited by Andoura (2006-12-01 22:55:07)

2006-12-02 17:49:22

#338

Moggle: Member; +4|6791|I'm not sure

2 fish swim headlong into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says "Dam"

Edit: Sorry

Last edited by Moggle (2006-12-02 17:49:54)

2006-12-02 18:06:20

#339

TrollmeaT: Aspiring Objectivist; +492|6884|Colorado

How do you give a hillbilly a vasectomy?

https://www.magicindispensables.com/images/Hill-Billy-Teeth.jpg

Kick his sister in the mouth!

Sorry I know it's bad...

2006-12-02 18:09:27

#340

gmoschgat: Member; +5|6661

roses are red... violets are blue..... your dog is ugly .....and you look like your dog.

2006-12-02 18:14:44

#341

Gooners: Wiki Contributor; +2,700|6844

Alright so theres these chicks who are being chased by the cops. They've just left a club. They go and hide in a warehouse. There are three sacks and three chicks. one was a brunette one was a goth and one was a blonde. They saw these three potato sacks and they each jumped into one. Later on the cops came searching. When they walked past the first sack they goth said "Ribbit, Ribbit". When they walked past the second sack the Burnette said " Woof, woof,". When they reached the last Potato sack they blonde said PO-TA-TO PO-TA-TO...

2006-12-02 18:18:48

#342

Gooners: Wiki Contributor; +2,700|6844

No offense but.... Why are black pplz teeth always look so white...

Because of the CONTRAST!!!!!! (Blak v White)

No offense ....

2006-12-02 18:20:52

#343

SysTray: "Generous mods" < Thats right Systray !; +180|7033|Delaware

Gooners wrote:
No offense but.... Why are black pplz teeth always look so white...

Because of the CONTRAST!!!!!! (Blak v White)

No offense ....

You can't say "no offense" to that and play it off like it's nothing

2006-12-02 18:22:37

#344

Gooners: Wiki Contributor; +2,700|6844

Oh'come on... Lol i wasnt being racist.

2006-12-02 18:25:09

#345

Gooners: Wiki Contributor; +2,700|6844

Oooh Oooh i got another ONE!!!!

Why was HItler a Dictator ...

Cuz he had a tater (potater) on his dick.

HA HA HA HA!!!

2006-12-02 18:36:09

#346

AchangelTyreal: 360 owns my soul; +31|6721|Behind You

George Bush was telling a joke to a group of people. It took place in the future, and one member from every single race was represented, but he omitted the Arabs. Some one stopped him and said, hey wait, you forgot the Arabs. He turned and said "No I didn't, remember, it's in the future."

Forget where I read that but I think I may have butchered it a little.

Last edited by AchangelTyreal (2006-12-02 18:36:38)

2006-12-02 20:02:39

#347

explosivo: Banned; +262|6855

what's green and white and gets you drunk?

a giro

2006-12-03 23:54:56

#348

(T)eflon(S)hadow: R.I.P. Neda; +456|7041|Grapevine, TX

Hey do you guys remember the name of the First woman to travel to space? Yeah that US Kindergarden Teacher... Thats right the one on Columbia.....Do you know what color her eyes were?

Blue... One blew this< way, one blew >that way... Old joke....

Last edited by (T)eflon(S)hadow (2006-12-03 23:55:56)

2006-12-04 11:07:33

#349

CTD-CaptainBuck: BLEEDING BLUE; +71|6979|Tenn

While she was “flying” down the road (10 miles over the limit), a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait.

The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, “What’s your hurry?”

To which she replied, “I’m late for work.”

“Oh yeah,” said the cop, “What do you do?”

“I’m a rectum stretcher,” she responded.

The cop stammered, “A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?”

“Well,” she said, “I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch, until it’s about 6 feet wide.”

“And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?” he asked.

“You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge…”

Traffic Ticket - $95.00
Court Costs - $45.00
The Look on Cop’s Face - PRICELESS

2006-12-08 02:15:12

#350

RavyGravy: Son.; +617|6617|NSW, Australia

The top 20 things not to say to a cop when he pulls you over.

20. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
19. Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
18. Aren't you the guy from the villiage people?
17. Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me, good job.
16. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.
15. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
14. Bad cop. No donut.
13. You're not going to check the trunk, are you?
12. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.
11. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on cops?
10. Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?
9. I pay your salary
8. So uh, you on the take or what?
7. Gee officer, that's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning.
6. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
5. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other cars around, that's how far they are ahead of me.
4. What do you mean have I been drinking? You are the trained specialist.
3. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
2. Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum.
1. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?

BF2S Forums Best Worst Joke

AchangelTyreal wrote:

I.M.I Militant wrote:

Gooners wrote:

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