Guilty Conscience

2006-07-20 07:34:20

#1

uber73: Member; +188|6760|Brisbane

Ok. Im starting to feel bad.. at the beginning i didnt. I actually enjoyed what i was doing. The sadistic pleasure gained from my worktime, work-dodging activities was palpable... but now... its like im taking part in some kind of holocaust..

Its all the fault of this heatwave. In Belfast, these freakish conditions have caused what i can only describe as a plague of bluebottles. (moderately sized, black/blue fly with loud buzzing, accompanied by a tendency to fly into your face while u work). Im looking around my office (i have my own room), and i survey bluebottles everywhere... dead ones. They line my window sill, the tops of cabinets, on top of files... rough count, 30-50. I used to swat them, but this soon proved messy. I can still see the smitage remnants on most walls.

So now im using 'raid' which is better... but... these flies seem to take the fact that they have been sprayed with lethal insecticide quite personally, and seem to all have some collective reaction to dive bomb me even more now that they are minutes away from departing this mortal coil.. I get the last laugh tho, as each of them, in their death-throes partake in about 30 seconds of breakdancing as they try to hold onto their little, annoying existence. Watching these fuckbots spin maddly on their backs is myrthworthy viewing in anyones book.

But, as i say, im now feeling guilty at all the little black bastards' ive ended. I have a degree in zoology, and am quite the animal friend, so im having a clash of conscience.

Oh, and my new aftershave is 'Raid Fly & Wasp Killer'.

2006-07-20 07:36:00

#2

Gooners: Wiki Contributor; +2,700|6640

All i can say is that sucks...

Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

2006-07-20 07:37:38

#3

Shem: sɥǝɯ; +152|6535|London (At Heart)

I hate all thing with more than 4 legs....

2006-07-20 07:38:38

#4

Gooners: Wiki Contributor; +2,700|6640

Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Buzzzzzzzzz
Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
BUZZ!

2006-07-20 07:42:07

#5

pers0nah: Waste Kid; +271|6590|MANCHESTERRR

Errg, i feel itchy now.

2006-07-20 07:55:27

#6

spawnofthemist: Banned; +1,128|6649|Burmecia, Land of the Rain

PoP wrote:
Errg, i feel itchy now.

that might just be your genital lice..

2006-07-20 07:55:52

#7

DoctorFruitloop: Level 13 Wrongdoer; +515|6554|Doncaster, UK

Ewwwwww!

2006-07-20 07:57:23

#8

tvmissleman: The Cereal Killer; +201|6666| United States of America

pwnt

2006-07-20 08:02:01

#9

Use0fWeapons: Get repairs here; +60|6541|Doncaster - UK

I once mistakenly sprayed a load of flys with 'ralgex', well it cleared up their bad backs. But i smelt funny the next time i needed a bit of deep heat treatment. (what an asshat)

What kit did you pretend to be whilst doing this?

Sniping - bits of paper on an elastic band?
Support - throwing a box of pens at one sat a foot away and hitting nothing?

PS. BUZZZ

Last edited by Use0fWeapons (2006-07-20 08:04:52)

2006-07-20 08:05:53

#10

1927: The oldest chav in the world; +2,423|6681|Cardiff, Capital of Wales

I fkn hate wasps, bees dont piss me off but wasps do. Rumour has it they dont even spread pollen, so wtf are they doing here.

Ive made a bat in work a few years ago, we get loads here which become attracted to the smell of various printing inks. My bat started out as news paper and cardboard core rolls, and is now a tool I'd stick in the van to keep me safe at night, it really is that hard.

Usually when I swing I just knock the bastards across the room or knock them out, giving me time to fetch/retrive my prey. I have a jar which is half meths/half white spirits (the two seperate, looks cool) and I drop my almost dead wasp in there to teach the lil prick a lesson.

If you pour some of the solution into an empty glass ashtray and then drop the wasp in it breakdances until I ignite the solution. Its like Rice Crispies in there now, snap, crackle, pop, its all going off. I dont have a boss here in work but I dont like customers or members of staff catching me at it, ive had some right cock ups trying to put the flames out but the worst was throwing the ashtray in sheer panic, I almost set my room on fire.

I was a kid of about 10 when I was at an air show in south wales which we would attend annualy and one year a sneaky bastard sneaked into my Pepsi, I didnt see it but drank some. I remember waking up in the air force hospital with breathing apparatus on wondering, wtf??? How did I get here? What is this? So kids, if you open a can of pop ffs cover the open bit to stop a sneaky sneaking in.

2006-07-20 08:09:55

#11

Erkut.hv: Member; +124|6743|California

spawnofthemist wrote:
PoP wrote:
Errg, i feel itchy now.
that might just be your genital lice..

my crabs get mad when I call them lice.

2006-07-20 08:11:28

#12

elmo1337: Banned; +186|6567|The real world

Get a thing where they cant come through in front of ur window

2006-07-20 08:25:19

#13

mavrick 3399: EA GAMES PATCH EVERYTHING; +102|6549|Doncaster UK

when i was younger me and a mate tried to catch bees now he had a real nack of just being able to pick the little fuckers up i had a real nack for just getting fucking stung by these little bastards, it got to the point where we had a jar full of live bees.

what do children do when there bored of catching bees...... experiments!!!!!!!

fill the jar with water (not to the top you will kill the bees) they just sort of sit on top of the water some do die but hey not my problem they shouldnt have been moving as much. then put jar in freezer and see what happens. keep checking the jar and if you time it right you can see there legs frozen in the water but there wings going as fast as they can to get free. (hell you can even defrost the jar at this point they are still alive but have just lost the use of there legs!!!!) or put the jar back in the freezer and just kill them off.

i will never forget doing this at the time its was really good fun 10 years later i feel guilty as fuck.

2006-07-20 08:26:48

#14

Below_Cost: Member; +3|6506|Ottawa, Ontario, Canada

I can not stand when those damn flies get accurate in their dive-bombing attempts and manage to fly into your mouth or worse your nose.

2006-07-20 08:43:40

#15

1927: The oldest chav in the world; +2,423|6681|Cardiff, Capital of Wales

mavrick 3399 wrote:
when i was younger me and a mate tried to catch bees now he had a real nack of just being able to pick the little fuckers up i had a real nack for just getting fucking stung by these little bastards, it got to the point where we had a jar full of live bees.

what do children do when there bored of catching bees...... experiments!!!!!!!

fill the jar with water (not to the top you will kill the bees) they just sort of sit on top of the water some do die but hey not my problem they shouldnt have been moving as much. then put jar in freezer and see what happens. keep checking the jar and if you time it right you can see there legs frozen in the water but there wings going as fast as they can to get free. (hell you can even defrost the jar at this point they are still alive but have just lost the use of there legs!!!!) or put the jar back in the freezer and just kill them off.

i will never forget doing this at the time its was really good fun 10 years later i feel guilty as fuck.

I dont feel guilty about them, the bastards.

2006-07-20 08:45:37

#16

PspRpg-7: -; +961|6705

Erkut.hv wrote:
spawnofthemist wrote:
PoP wrote:
Errg, i feel itchy now.
that might just be your genital lice..
my crabs get mad when I call them lice.

WTF BALLSACK-CRAB!

2006-07-20 08:49:29

#17

ATG: Banned; +5,233|6537|Global Command

Put your mind at ease son, you've done your fellow man a great service by sending the bastards to fly hell.
I'd plus you, but I'm out. Know what? I'm a powerful Ninja and I'll have one of my apprentises do it. It'll say ATG.

2006-07-20 08:54:27

#18

Kaosdad: Whisky Tango Foxtrot?; +201|6687|Broadlands, VA

Well, from my count you have at least your Verteran insect combat badge. You also have your Veteran Poison Gas Specialist badge for more than 10 deployments IAR and probably your Expert FlySwatter Badge.

How many hours have you put in? Maybe you have the Insect Combat Medal if you've put in 100 hours.

2006-07-20 09:09:28

#19

uber73: Member; +188|6760|Brisbane

Kaosdad008 wrote:
Well, from my count you have at least your Verteran insect combat badge. You also have your Veteran Poison Gas Specialist badge for more than 10 deployments IAR and probably your Expert FlySwatter Badge.

How many hours have you put in? Maybe you have the Insect Combat Medal if you've put in 100 hours.

lol dude

2006-07-20 09:57:25

#20

Rosse_modest: Member; +76|6784|Antwerp, Flanders

1927 wrote:
I fkn hate wasps, bees dont piss me off but wasps do. Rumour has it they dont even spread pollen, so wtf are they doing here.

Ive made a bat in work a few years ago, we get loads here which become attracted to the smell of various printing inks. My bat started out as news paper and cardboard core rolls, and is now a tool I'd stick in the van to keep me safe at night, it really is that hard.

Usually when I swing I just knock the bastards across the room or knock them out, giving me time to fetch/retrive my prey. I have a jar which is half meths/half white spirits (the two seperate, looks cool) and I drop my almost dead wasp in there to teach the lil prick a lesson.

If you pour some of the solution into an empty glass ashtray and then drop the wasp in it breakdances until I ignite the solution. Its like Rice Crispies in there now, snap, crackle, pop, its all going off. I dont have a boss here in work but I dont like customers or members of staff catching me at it, ive had some right cock ups trying to put the flames out but the worst was throwing the ashtray in sheer panic, I almost set my room on fire.

I was a kid of about 10 when I was at an air show in south wales which we would attend annualy and one year a sneaky bastard sneaked into my Pepsi, I didnt see it but drank some. I remember waking up in the air force hospital with breathing apparatus on wondering, wtf??? How did I get here? What is this? So kids, if you open a can of pop ffs cover the open bit to stop a sneaky sneaking in.

I don't hate wasps, I fear them. I'm spheksophobic. There's nothing like a wasp to make me run like a scared little girl, quite embarassing.

Back to flies: I'm the type who likes to swat them. Just like to hunt them I guess, I enjoy the bzzzzzzzzzz *WHACK* followed by a heavenly silence.

2006-07-20 10:19:38

#21

Coolbeano: Level 13.5 BF2S Ninja Penguin Sensei; +378|6771

Rosse_modest wrote:
I don't hate wasps, I fear them. I'm spheksophobic. There's nothing like a wasp to make me run like a scared little girl, quite embarassing.

Nah, nothing to be embarrased about. No one's gonna be all "haha look at that sissy he's running away from wasps"

2006-07-21 01:37:13

#22

1927: The oldest chav in the world; +2,423|6681|Cardiff, Capital of Wales

Rosse_modest wrote:
1927 wrote:
I fkn hate wasps, bees dont piss me off but wasps do. Rumour has it they dont even spread pollen, so wtf are they doing here.

Ive made a bat in work a few years ago, we get loads here which become attracted to the smell of various printing inks. My bat started out as news paper and cardboard core rolls, and is now a tool I'd stick in the van to keep me safe at night, it really is that hard.

Usually when I swing I just knock the bastards across the room or knock them out, giving me time to fetch/retrive my prey. I have a jar which is half meths/half white spirits (the two seperate, looks cool) and I drop my almost dead wasp in there to teach the lil prick a lesson.

If you pour some of the solution into an empty glass ashtray and then drop the wasp in it breakdances until I ignite the solution. Its like Rice Crispies in there now, snap, crackle, pop, its all going off. I dont have a boss here in work but I dont like customers or members of staff catching me at it, ive had some right cock ups trying to put the flames out but the worst was throwing the ashtray in sheer panic, I almost set my room on fire.

I was a kid of about 10 when I was at an air show in south wales which we would attend annualy and one year a sneaky bastard sneaked into my Pepsi, I didnt see it but drank some. I remember waking up in the air force hospital with breathing apparatus on wondering, wtf??? How did I get here? What is this? So kids, if you open a can of pop ffs cover the open bit to stop a sneaky sneaking in.
I don't hate wasps, I fear them. I'm spheksophobic. There's nothing like a wasp to make me run like a scared little girl, quite embarassing.

Back to flies: I'm the type who likes to swat them. Just like to hunt them I guess, I enjoy the bzzzzzzzzzz *WHACK* followed by a heavenly silence.

You missed a sound , the "tap" of the beast as it hits the wall, floor or any other object.

BF2S Forums Guilty Conscience

PoP wrote:

spawnofthemist wrote:

PoP wrote:

mavrick 3399 wrote:

Erkut.hv wrote:

spawnofthemist wrote:

PoP wrote:

Kaosdad008 wrote:

1927 wrote:

Rosse_modest wrote:

Rosse_modest wrote:

1927 wrote:

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