righto, i'm typing this because i need closure. i need to get over my past and move on. i've tried ignoring, i've tried being drunk, high, etc (i faded right now, actually), but now i've proved to myself that i need to do this.
i started out ok. i basically had every advantege that a person could want: my dad was a doctor, my parents loved me, i was raised with good grades in mind, i waised with a full family, my parents were together and still are, they love each other and spread that love, etc and so forth.
my problems were nill unti 6th grade. people started pulling an "emder2309" at that point. i was synomoyous with failure, regret, and overalll lonelieness. part of it was my adhd; most of the time it was my own awkwardness.
the point is from 6-12 I was friendless, and from 10 on i was hopelessley depressed. i thought about suicide but i knew i would never go through with it. no, instead i prayed that i would be hit by a car ora train or something. i couldn't live, but i couldn't die. i was alone, and i hated it.
then i stared college. i didn't know what was going to happen at this point, but i kneqw that i had to try something. it was then that i entered davis, and subsequently joined sigma chi; the best decision i ever made in my entire life. i leared more about being a person, a man, and social than i've ever learned in my life during my 9 week pledge quarter. i learned more about women, functioning, and myself than ever during those 9 weeks.
i know most people here are like i used to be: alone, lost, confused, and unsure about even living. let me tell you: i am terrified, terrifeid , of being alone. i've played that game, i've done things solo, i've felt depressed, alone, scared, unable, inadequate. but let me tell you: everybody at this website can turn around like i did. i'm lucky i had my sister to guide me, many of you are on your own. many of you are already here or farther. my wish, however, is that all f you get the opportuniity that i did. i want everybody to succeed as much as i have. i was on the verge of suicide before sigma chi, now i am saved. in hoc signo winces.
i started out ok. i basically had every advantege that a person could want: my dad was a doctor, my parents loved me, i was raised with good grades in mind, i waised with a full family, my parents were together and still are, they love each other and spread that love, etc and so forth.
my problems were nill unti 6th grade. people started pulling an "emder2309" at that point. i was synomoyous with failure, regret, and overalll lonelieness. part of it was my adhd; most of the time it was my own awkwardness.
the point is from 6-12 I was friendless, and from 10 on i was hopelessley depressed. i thought about suicide but i knew i would never go through with it. no, instead i prayed that i would be hit by a car ora train or something. i couldn't live, but i couldn't die. i was alone, and i hated it.
then i stared college. i didn't know what was going to happen at this point, but i kneqw that i had to try something. it was then that i entered davis, and subsequently joined sigma chi; the best decision i ever made in my entire life. i leared more about being a person, a man, and social than i've ever learned in my life during my 9 week pledge quarter. i learned more about women, functioning, and myself than ever during those 9 weeks.
i know most people here are like i used to be: alone, lost, confused, and unsure about even living. let me tell you: i am terrified, terrifeid , of being alone. i've played that game, i've done things solo, i've felt depressed, alone, scared, unable, inadequate. but let me tell you: everybody at this website can turn around like i did. i'm lucky i had my sister to guide me, many of you are on your own. many of you are already here or farther. my wish, however, is that all f you get the opportuniity that i did. i want everybody to succeed as much as i have. i was on the verge of suicide before sigma chi, now i am saved. in hoc signo winces.
