The following awards are to be given to good games that have some thing (or things) fucked up with them. All the games that will be receiving the awards are good games that you should play. However I have noticed many trends in gaming that are making games that should be good, not so good.
And without further a due, here they are.
The Uwe Boll award for unintentional camp is awarded to the game that takes itself so seriously, that it comes off as silly, and even stupid. This year's recipient is Gears of War 2. Runner up: Call of Duty 5.
The Eldridge Cleaver award for excessive brownness is awarded to the game where the highest percentage of the game's textures are brown or another similarly dreary color. This year's recipient is Gears of War 2. Runner up: Fallout 3.
The Jackson Pollock award for excessive color is given to the game whose color saturation levels not only exceed what is necessary, but also are so bright they make it hard to tell one thing from the next, essentially blinding the play. This year's recipient is Command and Conquer: Red Alert 3. Runner up is: Spore.
The Eric Idle award for spam is given to the game whose gameplay involves spamming shit. Whether it be grenades, tanks, miniguns, the game that has conditions where clicking aimlessly produces the best results gets this award. This year's recipient is Command and Conquer 3: Kane's Wrath. Runner up: Call of Duty 5.
The The Stig award for overuse of driving is awarded to open-world games that minimize fast travel and as a result, require players to spend more time driving than is acceptable. This year's recipient is: Far Cry 2. Runner up: Grand Theft Auto IV
The The Proclaimers award for excessive walking is awarded to the game that forgoes drivable vehicles, or makes them to hard to come by, despite the large size of the game's maps. This year's recipient is: Fallout 3. Runner up is Armed Assault. Aside from FO3 there were few walking sims in 2008. As was pointed out, ArmA was from 2007 and so is having its award revoked.
The Timothy McVeigh award for explosive barrels is awarded to the game that puts exploding barrels to the most use. This year's recipient is: Far Cry 2. Runner up: Call of Duty 5.
The Lisa McPherson award for deadly-bugginess is given to the game with some many bugs/exploits it makes you want to murder yourself. This year's recipient is: Fallout 3. Runner up: Gears of War 2.
The Madeline McCann award for sucky server browsers is given to the game whose server browser is so shitty, that it makes it very difficult to find a multiplayer game that you will actually have fun in. This year's recipient is Left 4 Dead. Runner up: Far Cry2.
And without further a due, here they are.
The Uwe Boll award for unintentional camp is awarded to the game that takes itself so seriously, that it comes off as silly, and even stupid. This year's recipient is Gears of War 2. Runner up: Call of Duty 5.
The Eldridge Cleaver award for excessive brownness is awarded to the game where the highest percentage of the game's textures are brown or another similarly dreary color. This year's recipient is Gears of War 2. Runner up: Fallout 3.
The Jackson Pollock award for excessive color is given to the game whose color saturation levels not only exceed what is necessary, but also are so bright they make it hard to tell one thing from the next, essentially blinding the play. This year's recipient is Command and Conquer: Red Alert 3. Runner up is: Spore.
The Eric Idle award for spam is given to the game whose gameplay involves spamming shit. Whether it be grenades, tanks, miniguns, the game that has conditions where clicking aimlessly produces the best results gets this award. This year's recipient is Command and Conquer 3: Kane's Wrath. Runner up: Call of Duty 5.
The The Stig award for overuse of driving is awarded to open-world games that minimize fast travel and as a result, require players to spend more time driving than is acceptable. This year's recipient is: Far Cry 2. Runner up: Grand Theft Auto IV
The The Proclaimers award for excessive walking is awarded to the game that forgoes drivable vehicles, or makes them to hard to come by, despite the large size of the game's maps. This year's recipient is: Fallout 3. Runner up is Armed Assault. Aside from FO3 there were few walking sims in 2008. As was pointed out, ArmA was from 2007 and so is having its award revoked.
The Timothy McVeigh award for explosive barrels is awarded to the game that puts exploding barrels to the most use. This year's recipient is: Far Cry 2. Runner up: Call of Duty 5.
The Lisa McPherson award for deadly-bugginess is given to the game with some many bugs/exploits it makes you want to murder yourself. This year's recipient is: Fallout 3. Runner up: Gears of War 2.
The Madeline McCann award for sucky server browsers is given to the game whose server browser is so shitty, that it makes it very difficult to find a multiplayer game that you will actually have fun in. This year's recipient is Left 4 Dead. Runner up: Far Cry2.
Last edited by DoctaStrangelove (2009-01-25 16:44:21)
