Dude, that's all bull. Dance is one of the most important things you can know...it'll get clothes off faster than anything else I know of...
I've been dancing for a few years, and for a club setting, here's my advice:
1. There will be lousy music at the start. Don't get too into it. Just hang about, try to talk to people, DO NOT GET DRUNK or the rest of the evening will suck. Cross the floor a couple of times, there will be a few people on it, jiggle around and spin once or twice if you can. No one will watch you, or remember you.
2. When the music gets better, about an hour to two hours in depending on closing time, start to bust moves. If you're in continental Europe, jumpstyle pulls the trick. Not in Britain though. So, here's the basic sequence:
-bob up and down to the music, bending your knees.
-every once in a while, move your arms around in small circles, clap once or twice, and wave in the air. Only when everyone else does it--let the experienced people start the waving and clapping, 'cos they've got friends who'll emulate them.
-jump up and down about twice a minute, more if it's a fast beat.
-BE SURE to bob your head, too.
-and smile. Your face is the first thing anyone will look at upon seeing you. If you don't look happy, your dance will look like shit.
-If you have no idea what to do, just improv. Anything can be dance if done to the music. Just look happy.
For slowdances--put your hands around the girl's waist, and move from side to side in time with the music. Try turning around in slow circles. After a while, get closer to her. Repeat as needed.
If you feel you want actual choreographies, give me a shout. I'll hook you up. Any girl cracks to tango.
I like pie.