Stubbee
Religions Hate Facts, Questions and Doubts
+223|6745|Reality
Carpe diem.

The US economy is a giant Ponzi scheme. And 'to big to fail' is code speak for 'niahnahniahniahnah 99 percenters'
kylef
Gone
+1,352|6495|N. Ireland
Enjoy the time with him, but does this not give you an incentive to stop smoking / taking drugs?
howler_27
Member
+90|6689
Very sorry to hear of your situation.  My father passed away suddenly back in Feb, and all I can say is tell him how much he means to you, and spend as much time as you can with him.  Put the gaming aside, and just be there with him.  I think about my dad every minute of the day and just wish for one more minute with him to tell him how much I appreciate all that he had done for our family.  We can't get back what we loose in situations like this, by we can make the most out of the memories when they are gone.
Burwhale
Save the BlobFish!
+136|6224|Brisneyland
So sorry to hear about that. All the best to you.
stratozyck
Member
+35|6633

Eye-GiZzLe wrote:

well my dad has a brain tumor along with kidney problems. he has already had 2 surgeries on his brain and a few different chemo/radiation treatments, but the cancer is still present and growing. his kidneys are only functioning at 15% as of about a week ago. as of now, the bad kidneys are going to be what does him in. he could go through dialysis, but then the cancer would kill him shortly thereafter. he could go through more chemo/radiation shit, but the doctors say that will only prolong his life by a short amount. he decided to not do anymore treatments and just to live the rest of his life on his own power. either way he is not really living imo. he lays around all day and sleeps; he has little to no energy; he doesn't eat or drink unless someone puts it in front of his face. and if he were doing any of those treatments, it would be much worse. i like to think of myself as a pretty mentally-tough person, but it's really fucking hard to watch him just sit there and sleep all day--knowing that his time is up soon. i hate to say that i wish death upon him, but he is not living in the sense that a normal person would, and i feel that it would be better for everyone if he went ahead and passed on.


thoughts?
He's doing the right thing by avoiding further treatment. 

My mother died many years ago, and even when she started the Chemo and Radiation, they said she had very little chance of surviving.  During her last weeks she looked and acted like a zombie.  She had no last words, only a blank stare. 

My father recently beat cancer - he was lucky.  Only required a month of treatment.  It was in his neck and thats the one "best" areas to have cancer. 

Death sucks but remember life is for the living.  Once he is gone, his worries, problems, etc are gone.  The challenge is not to let someone's death drag your life down.  I blamed myself for my brothers death for years - this despite him dying of a brain tumor. 

But not to sound whatever, but if he's lucky he's on some major pain meds.  Those will make his last days as "pleasant" as can be.
oChaos.Haze
Member
+90|6440
Much love Ig.  While both my parents are still alive, I've gone through a couple of slow cancer deaths of loved ones.  It's so hard to watch, and even harder to find meaning in it all. 

Do what you would normally do.  If you normally are distant in situations like these, then I think your father would accept that.  Personally, I'd hate it if I knew my kid was very uncomfortable in these situations, yet was there to see it all.  I'd want my kid to be who they are through it.  Just be there for him, and kind of let him decide how much he needs you around.  The last thing I'd want to see on my death bed is other people suffering because of it.

Stay strong bro.
Roger Lesboules
Ah ben tabarnak!
+316|6579|Abitibi-Temiscamingue. Québec!

jsnipy wrote:

At least you have time to say goodbye.
Sorry to hear about that Ig. But like Snipy said. You have time to say goodbye. Use this precious time and spend it with him if you can. After he is gone celebrate his life, dont mourn over the death even tho its hard not to.
i g
Banned
+876|5865|GA

thanks for the kind words guys. it means a lot.

he's not doing too well. at first i thought he might last a few months or so; now it's looking like a few days to a few weeks at the very most. we are very thankful that he is not in any pain though. kidney failure is supposed to be one of the most painless deaths.

i've had a few good conversations with him in recent days, but his condition is deteriorating extremely fast, and he doesn't really even stay awake much longer than 20 minutes at a time anymore (if that). i don't even think he really even knows what is going on anymore. all i can say once again is i am so fucking thankful he isn't in pain.

this experience has already taught me so much. don't take shit for granted kids.

kylef wrote:

Enjoy the time with him, but does this not give you an incentive to stop smoking / taking drugs?
i quit cigarettes 9 days ago, and i don't do drugs...

Last edited by Eye-GiZzLe (2008-06-25 18:58:03)

Catbox
forgiveness
+505|6718
I'm sorry for your situation... I'll say a prayer for your Dad and your family...
Love is the answer
Qrite
sup g
+79|6176|Ohio
that really sucks man. just stay strong and enjoy the time with him.
N00bkilla55404
Voices are calling...
+136|5933|Somewhere out in Space


I always thought of death as a release instead of a punishment, may my belief hold true once again.
MAGUIRE93
High Angle Hell
+182|6196|Schofield Barracks
Sorry to hear that. When i was very little like 2 or 3 my grandmother died of cancer. One day she was there the next day she wasn't. I didn't understand what cancer or death was. Stay strong man.
ATG
Banned
+5,233|6531|Global Command
My condolences again.


makes me remember...

My grandmother.
She was so awesome. Many of my fondest memories are of being with her. She was this sweet old lady, blind as a bat, but she always sent me a card on my birthday.  I remember going to see her in Utah. She asked me what I had wanted and why I came and was delighted when I told her I didn't need anything and just wanted to visit.
Shortly thereafter she and my aunt were in a crosswalk. They both died when a taxi didn't see the light.
I never got to say goodbye.
jamiecracker
Member
+17|6749|Wollongong,Australia
my grandmother died from bowel cancer that she got from cigarettes

i feel for you and your family mate

it is a shame to loose a loved one,stay strong and try to stay light hearted with your father
HAi_gAIZ
See "i g"
+20|5773
well he passed yesterday at around 12:15 pm. thanks for all the kind words gentlemen. you guys are like brothers to me.
kptk92
u
+972|6410|tc_london

HAi_gAIZ wrote:

well he passed yesterday at around 12:15 pm. thanks for all the kind words gentlemen. you guys are like brothers to me.
I am sorry to hear that. It is always hard to lose a relative, especially when you know that it is going to happen in a short period. My condolences.
13rin
Member
+977|6481
Words fail me... My condolences.. .
I stood in line for four hours. They better give me a Wal-Mart gift card, or something.  - Rodney Booker, Job Fair attendee.
i g
Banned
+876|5865|GA

well the wake was last night, and the funeral was this morning. it was pretty fucking rough seeing and talking to the hundreds and hundreds of people that loved him as much as i did. i swear my dad has more friends than anyone on this planet, and he meant something to every single one. it is amazing to see that someone can be as good of a person as my dad. if you met him and talked to him for 5 minutes, you would feel like he was your best friend. i just wanted to share with you guys how much an of awesome person my dad was. one of his friends recently wrote this; check it out...
My Brother, Bill Ector

by Ron Currens

In the mid-1980s I became obsessed with locating all things related to Duane Allman and began an organized and relentless search for information, recordings, and video. It was during this time that I first discovered fellow travelers Kirk West and Bill Ector and spoke to them by phone.

I first met Kirk at the 1986 Volunteer Jam, and the next year he drove from Chicago to Atlanta to visit me. Even though Bill and I both lived in Atlanta and had talked many times, we had not yet met in person. Kirk's trip to Atlanta was the perfect opportunity to finally meet Bill -- plus to have him meet Kirk as well -- and what better way to do it than at a show?

I had been a fanatic follower of the Atlanta super group, the Stained Souls, with Col. Bruce Hampton and Tinsley Ellis, and they happened to be playing while Kirk was in town. I arranged to have Bill meet us there, and of course there was an instant bond.

Bill has spoken many times over the years of his experience that night -- meeting for the first time me, Kirk, Ray Pavlovic (R.I.P.), and hearing the Stained Souls! It was an auspicious beginning to a long friendship, and I added another brother to my family.

Bill and I compared notes about Duane Allman early on, and it was a thrilling experience to discover that Bill and I had been at the same pair of shows -- Duane's last shows in Atlanta -- on 7/17/71. Although we didn't meet until 16 years later, to know that my dear friend had been there was one more strong bond between us.

That night Bill had been working for Carlo Sound and he'd watched the show from onstage -- while I was in my usual fifth row, left of center seats, directly in front of Duane. Bill told me that when he was breaking down the stage after that show, Duane walked right by him carrying his guitar case. He always regretted not saying something to him, never expecting it was the last time he'd see Duane.

Bill and I spent many wonderful times together after we finally met in person, going to shows, listening to tapes, and swapping stories. We were elated beyond the power of words to describe when the Allman Brothers Band reunited in 1989. A couple of years later when the Brothers played at Lakewood Amphitheater, I was at the soundboard after the show with my video camera when a fellow stopped by to introduce himself -- it was Joe Bell, yet another kindred spirit.

I gave Joe a call the next day and arranged for him to stop by my house. Unbeknownst to Joe, I called my Allman Brother buddy Bill and suggested he come over before Joe's visit. I told Bill, "Bring your whole Allman Brothers collection, Bill. When this guy comes over, between the two of us, we'll blow his mind!"

We did.

Later that year, Kirk called me with an idea -- the Chicago-based ABB newsletter, Les Brers, was ceasing publication. Would I be interested in starting a fan club newsletter to fill the void? You bet!

The annual Allman Brothers Revivals were held at Mike 'n' Angelo's bar in Buckhead -- what better place for an organizational meeting? I called my closest Allman Brothers buddies, Joe and Bill, and asked them to meet me there. So it was in a booth at Mike 'n' Angelo's that Joe came up with the name, Hittin' the Note, and the contents of Issue Number One were decided upon. We all knew that Duane's last night on earth was spent with John Hammond and noted that John was appearing at the Variety Playhouse in January. Bill volunteered to interview him and write an article -- the very first HTN interview!

You can read Bill's first HTN article here.

We only printed 125 copies of that first issue -- if you have a copy that reads, "Original Run," on the cover, then you have a collector's item! About the time it was printed, Joe, Bill and I, along with a couple of other friends, traveled to Macon in Joe's van. Bill was our tour guide -- he knew all the special places we wanted to visit, having spent a great deal of time in Macon. Bill wrote up the story of that trip and it became the cover feature of HTN's second issue.

You can read Pilgrimage to Macon here.

To me, Bill was neither a saint nor a great man -- instead, he was a friend and brother. He had his vagaries and faults as do we all. No one will deny, however, that he was a man filled with love, and that love was reflected back to him many-fold. I have always thought of Bill as an inspiration -- thank goodness I knew him so well for so long!

Regarding that remarkable show on 7/17/71, I will never forget the day I located an audience tape of that concert on a taper's list -- the very first person I called was Bill Ector! Bill hoped I'd get my hands on it before 7/17/96 -- the twenty-fifth anniversary -- but ultimately, it took me more than a year to finally get a first generation cassette copy of that incredible afternoon show. When I finally had it in my hand, I didn't even listen to it. Instead, I called Bill and told him to come over NOW. We heard it the first time together -- who better to share it with than my brother who was there that day?

I knew that Bill was a musician, but it was many years before I found out just how well he could play guitar! The first time I saw him really rip a guitar solo was in 2002 when he sat in with Donna Hopkins -- he told me he'd loved Donna's music ever since he'd first seen her play, but he didn't really understand how powerful a player she was until he was up on stage with her! Only later did I find out he was equally comfortable on bass, organ, and drums. Is there anything this man couldn't do? All I'd really counted on him to do was to write an article, or two, or three ... and he could sure do that!

I'll never forget driving to Bill and Theresa's house in Marietta at Christmastime one year. I met Hannah and Ben -- still quite young -- but also I met his dad, Howard Ector. What a burden it must have been for Bill to fill his dad's shoes!

Howard was a football star for Georgia Tech -- an all-SEC quarterback during his junior and senior years. In 1939, he led Tech to the Southeastern Conference Championship and then to a victory over Missouri in the Orange Bowl. As a Tech grad, it was one of my personal football highlights when Bill took me to a Georgia Tech game the day the Howard Ector Room at Grant Field was dedicated. Bill's dad's jersey, his trophies, and a statue adorned the beautiful space overlooking the football field.

It was to Bill's great chagrin that his daughter Hannah now attends arch-rival UGA! Howard served as an artillery officer in the Pacific in the Guadalcanal campaign and was fascinated when I told him of my dad's experiences as a Jap POW after being captured on Corregidor.

You can read about Howard Ector here and here.

One of Howard Ector's quotes: "I've been blessed," Ector said. "One of the great blessings of my life has been my friends. I know a lot of people, and I have a lot of friends."

Like father, like son.

While Bill remained one of my closest friends -- ever -- he lived in Marietta and I lived in Brookhaven, then Dunwoody, so we didn't see each other as often as we would have liked. Still, we continued to chat on the telephone often. We shared not only a love of music and of Georgia Tech, but we also were of the same political persuasion. Many was the time we had a late-night conversation solving the world's problems.

Bill worked as the Hittin' the Note publisher for more than five years -- the longest he'd ever held a single job in his working career. I guess he must have liked it! As an ambassador to Allman Brothers fans there could have been none better. To know Bill is to love him.

And love is what the world is about. There is no man I've met who was more successful at living his life in love than Bill Ector. He was a human being with flaws and warts, but he was a Brother filled with love and kindness.

I loved Bill -- and all the facets of his complex personality. I am a better person today because I met Bill 21 years ago.

God bless Bill Ector.
here are a few threads that are going on the allman brothers' site.

http://www.allmanbrothersband.com/modul … pid1783196
http://www.allmanbrothersband.com/modul … pid1783157
http://www.allmanbrothersband.com/modul … pid1783807

R.I.P. Dad. You will be missed.
kptk92
u
+972|6410|tc_london
My condolences once again ig, your father sounds like a real gent. I hope everything went as good as it could be today.
CanadianLoser
Meow :3 :3
+1,148|6509
i'm not any good with words so i'm not sure what to say and because i have no idea how it feels to be in your situation, but i don't think i could be as brave as you are being and i hope everything went as well as it could have the last few weeks, and hope it continues to go as good as possible.  Good luck, be strong, make your father proud.

may he rest in peace

Last edited by Canadianloser (2008-07-14 16:58:20)

san4
The Mas
+311|6690|NYC, a place to live
My condolences. Sounds like he was a great guy.
Roomba
You will pay the price for your lack of vision.
+26|6494|Land of Cotton
Peace be with you and your family.
blademaster
I'm moving to Brazil
+2,075|6647
man sorry about ur dad may he R.I.P. my condolences to you and your family
Gooners
Wiki Contributor
+2,700|6634

Dude, I am so, so sorry. Hope you pull through, and may he Rest in peace.

My condolences...
1927
The oldest chav in the world
+2,423|6675|Cardiff, Capital of Wales
Sorry to read of your sad loss 'ig'.  By the sounds of it your ol man was a well liked popular man and will obviously be greatly missed.

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