have you ever been caught spanking your monkey

2008-03-15 14:51:29

#26

Freezer7Pro: I don't come here a lot anymore.; +1,447|6416|Winland

CommieChipmunk wrote:
do tell

Well, once my mom walked in when I was lying in my bed, fapping (You know my room layout by now), she knocked, the shock made me come, got a big white stain in the middle of my black shirt, she definitly saw it, cut it short and left. My mom is nice sometimes, she didn't do like Rubix' Havok's dad and stay and talk.

Another time I was sitting in front of my gaming computer when she walked in without knocking. My back is turned towards the door, so she didn't see anything... I thought. Whew, I thought when she left, and the realized that I had a porn movie playing in fullscreen.

If I tell more, I'm getting banned for inappropriate content, so I'll cut it short.

And some are too embarrassing for even the internet under any other name than Anonymous.

Last edited by Freezer7Pro (2008-03-15 14:54:56)

The idea of any hi-fi system is to reproduce the source material as faithfully as possible, and to deliberately add distortion to everything you hear (due to amplifier deficiencies) because it sounds 'nice' is simply not high fidelity. If that is what you want to hear then there is no problem with that, but by adding so much additional material (by way of harmonics and intermodulation) you have a tailored sound system, not a hi-fi. - Rod Elliot, ESP

2008-03-15 14:51:55

#27

Rubix-Cubes: Member; +123|6874|UK

mtb0minime wrote:
Almost, but it wasn't incriminating at all and no one knew what I was doing.

However, I did "almost" catch my dad. "Almost" as in: I come home to see pron on the computer and then my dad walks about of the bathroom zipping up his pants.

Now that's embarrassing.

OMG thats worse then getting caught with your trousers and pants down

2008-03-15 14:52:52

#28

HurricaИe: Banned; +877|6180|Washington DC

Rubix-Cubes wrote:
mtb0minime wrote:
Almost, but it wasn't incriminating at all and no one knew what I was doing.

However, I did "almost" catch my dad. "Almost" as in: I come home to see pron on the computer and then my dad walks about of the bathroom zipping up his pants.

Now that's embarrassing.
OMG thats worse then getting caught with your trousers and pants down

battery acid to the eyes is the only cure for such a situation

2008-03-15 14:53:27

#29

Doctor Strangelove: Real Battlefield Veterinarian.; +1,758|6687

SEREMAKER wrote:
I'm Batman of jerkin .............. you can never catch me

2008-03-15 14:53:34

#30

Havok: Nymphomaniac Treatment Specialist; +302|6893|Florida, United States

HurricaИe wrote:
Rubix-Cubes wrote:
mtb0minime wrote:
Almost, but it wasn't incriminating at all and no one knew what I was doing.

However, I did "almost" catch my dad. "Almost" as in: I come home to see pron on the computer and then my dad walks about of the bathroom zipping up his pants.

Now that's embarrassing.
OMG thats worse then getting caught with your trousers and pants down
battery acid to the eyes is the only cure for such a situation

I prefer a nice big swig of Draino but eh, the choice is yours.

2008-03-15 14:55:40

#31

avman633: Member; +116|6583

SEREMAKER wrote:
avman633 wrote:
To answer the question, never and hopefully never. *Knock on Wood*
wood is what you knock

I was waiting for someone to say that,

2008-03-15 14:59:02

#32

Magpie: international welder....Douchebag Dude, <3 ur mom; +257|6745|Milkystania, yurop

SEREMAKER wrote:
avman633 wrote:
To answer the question, never and hopefully never. *Knock on Wood*
wood is what you knock

Urrite its not called Cock on wood

2008-03-15 15:01:52

#33

Poseidon: Fudgepack DeQueef; +3,253|6756|Long Island, New York

kylef wrote:
topthrill05 wrote:
Almost many times, yet never caught red handed.

I plan to keep it that way.

2008-03-15 15:02:05

#34

I'm Jamesey: Do a Research Noob; +506|6351|Scotland!

Nope, in my house we knock on closed doors to avoid horror stories.

Though they must all know, because I shriek and wail like a banshee when I come.

2008-03-15 15:02:54

#35

Ryan: Member; +1,230|7061|Alberta, Canada

Rubix-Cubes wrote:
I was about 14 or so and everyone was out and was not due back for sometime, so i decided to have a shuffle in the living room, i got naked and got out the porn mag i had and started to fap, just at the same moment my mum dad and 3 sisters came in the front door, the front door opened straight into the living room, so there's me cock in hand mag out sitting on the couch having a wank, i didn't live that one down for a VERY VERY LONG TIME

Wow, that was my laugh for the day.

2008-03-15 15:05:53

#36

daddyofdeath: A REAL Combat Engineer in the house; +187|6472|UK Bradford W,Yorks. Age 27

Caught at home by the girlfriend, she went to put me a bet on the grand national (big horse race thing over in the UK once a year). Anyhow, I got lent a porno from my mate so I thought fuck it I'll have a quick ham shank (wank)! I locked the front door as I was alone in the house and frapped away, but i didn't hear her come back or knock on the door, so she comes around the back of the house and is stood there watching me through the conservatory windows with me pants around my ankles wrestling the beast! Just as I'm about to 'finish the business' she bangs on the window and starts with the obscenities....'you are a dirty wanking sonofabitch' etc etc. I was that shocked I nearly snapped my cock in half!! Many times caught by my mother frapping, and once caught by the fucking Sergeant Major!!! That was brought up on parade in front of 350 odd blokes.... I could have melted away in my own embarrassment on that one! I guess I am just a slack wanker or I love getting caught! rofl.

2008-03-15 15:07:30

#37

Magpie: international welder....Douchebag Dude, <3 ur mom; +257|6745|Milkystania, yurop

daddyofdeath wrote:
Caught at home by the girlfriend, she went to put me a bet on the grand national (big horse race thing over in the UK once a year). Anyhow, I got lent a porno from my mate so I thought fuck it I'll have a quick ham shank (wank)! I locked the front door as I was alone in the house and frapped away, but i didn't hear her come back or knock on the door, so she comes around the back of the house and is stood there watching me through the conservatory windows with me pants around my ankles wrestling the beast! Just as I'm about to 'finish the business' she bangs on the window and starts with the obscenities....'you are a dirty wanking sonofabitch' etc etc. I was that shocked I nearly snapped my cock in half!! Many times caught by my mother frapping, and once caught by the fucking Sergeant Major!!! That was brought up on parade in front of 350 odd blokes.... I could have melted away in my own embarrassment on that one! I guess I am just a slack wanker or I love getting caught! rofl.

U horny unlucky bastard

2008-03-15 15:12:02

#38

Lynx14: Member; +41|6189

Lol its called locking your door, and if your mom knocks say "Goddamnit ya damn broad im trying to take a nap" LOL

2008-03-15 15:16:26

#39

Poseidon: Fudgepack DeQueef; +3,253|6756|Long Island, New York

Lynx14 wrote:
Lol its called locking your door, and if your mom knocks say "Goddamnit ya damn broad im trying to take a nap" LOL

That's pretty much exactly what I do.

2008-03-15 15:18:22

#40

GR34: Member; +215|6763|ALBERTA> CANADA

My step sister caught me and I had nothing to cover up with so I just looked at her (kepet wankin) and said "Iam buisy com back in 10" she then got grossed out and ran off funny moment kep goin after 2

2008-03-15 15:27:05

#41

NateW: my sigs worse than yours; +191|6351

A forum filled with mostly video game playing teenagers, telling stories about masturbating. WTF?

2008-03-15 15:30:11

#42

rh27: Not really a Brit; +51|6815|England

When I still lived at home and I was using the computer in the office for porn. Was quite close to finishing when my sisters' friend walks in, apparently to collect her bag. It wasn't exactly something I could talk my way out of.

Fortunately she then offered to help and we... okay that bit didn't happen. Would have been more fun though and she might have kept her mouth shut then.

2008-03-15 15:34:44

#43

Freezer7Pro: I don't come here a lot anymore.; +1,447|6416|Winland

Ok, one more (I've been caught many times), and this one is real bad, and it could be worse.

One day a long time ago (I was 13, I think), I decided to fap in the hallway infront of the mirror. Our hallway is about 4 meters long and I was facing the door. Right then (About 11pm), my mate comes in (He never knocks and the door is always unlocked) and finds me, wanking naked in front of the mirror with a porno mag strapped to the door with a needle. Thankfully, he's an understanding guy, and we had a laugh about it. I'm so glad that it wasn't my mom. I don't know what I would've done then.

How the fuck did I even come up with the idea of wanking in the hallway?! Geez, I was crazy back then

The idea of any hi-fi system is to reproduce the source material as faithfully as possible, and to deliberately add distortion to everything you hear (due to amplifier deficiencies) because it sounds 'nice' is simply not high fidelity. If that is what you want to hear then there is no problem with that, but by adding so much additional material (by way of harmonics and intermodulation) you have a tailored sound system, not a hi-fi. - Rod Elliot, ESP

2008-03-15 15:35:40

#44

Ollie: Formerly known as Larkin; +215|6202|Halifax, West Yorkshire

GR34 wrote:
My step sister caught me and I had nothing to cover up with so I just looked at her (kepet wankin) and said "Iam buisy com back in 10" she then got grossed out and ran off funny moment kep goin after 2

2008-03-15 15:38:03

#45

Poseidon: Fudgepack DeQueef; +3,253|6756|Long Island, New York

NateWiese wrote:
A forum filled with mostly video game playing teenagers, telling stories about masturbating. WTF?

We're men. We're secure about our masculinity. GTFO.

Freezer7Pro wrote:
Ok, one more (I've been caught many times), and this one is real bad, and it could be worse.

One day a long time ago (I was 13, I think), I decided to fap in the hallway infront of the mirror. Our hallway is about 4 meters long and I was facing the door. Right then (About 11pm), my mate comes in (He never knocks and the door is always unlocked) and finds me, wanking naked in front of the mirror with a porno mag strapped to the door with a needle. Thankfully, he's an understanding guy, and we had a laugh about it. I'm so glad that it wasn't my mom. I don't know what I would've done then.

How the fuck did I even come up with the idea of wanking in the hallway?! Geez, I was crazy back then

who the fuck jerks it completely nekkid

...in a hallway no less.

2008-03-15 15:39:02

#46

Freezer7Pro: I don't come here a lot anymore.; +1,447|6416|Winland

Poseidon wrote:
NateWiese wrote:
A forum filled with mostly video game playing teenagers, telling stories about masturbating. WTF?
We're men. We're secure about our masculinity. GTFO.

Freezer7Pro wrote:
Ok, one more (I've been caught many times), and this one is real bad, and it could be worse.

One day a long time ago (I was 13, I think), I decided to fap in the hallway infront of the mirror. Our hallway is about 4 meters long and I was facing the door. Right then (About 11pm), my mate comes in (He never knocks and the door is always unlocked) and finds me, wanking naked in front of the mirror with a porno mag strapped to the door with a needle. Thankfully, he's an understanding guy, and we had a laugh about it. I'm so glad that it wasn't my mom. I don't know what I would've done then.

How the fuck did I even come up with the idea of wanking in the hallway?! Geez, I was crazy back then
who the fuck jerks it completely nekkid

...in a hallway no less.

I was 13. I was dumb when I was 13.

The idea of any hi-fi system is to reproduce the source material as faithfully as possible, and to deliberately add distortion to everything you hear (due to amplifier deficiencies) because it sounds 'nice' is simply not high fidelity. If that is what you want to hear then there is no problem with that, but by adding so much additional material (by way of harmonics and intermodulation) you have a tailored sound system, not a hi-fi. - Rod Elliot, ESP

2008-03-15 15:45:40

#47

Poseidon: Fudgepack DeQueef; +3,253|6756|Long Island, New York

Freezer7Pro wrote:
Poseidon wrote:
NateWiese wrote:
A forum filled with mostly video game playing teenagers, telling stories about masturbating. WTF?
We're men. We're secure about our masculinity. GTFO.

Freezer7Pro wrote:
Ok, one more (I've been caught many times), and this one is real bad, and it could be worse.

One day a long time ago (I was 13, I think), I decided to fap in the hallway infront of the mirror. Our hallway is about 4 meters long and I was facing the door. Right then (About 11pm), my mate comes in (He never knocks and the door is always unlocked) and finds me, wanking naked in front of the mirror with a porno mag strapped to the door with a needle. Thankfully, he's an understanding guy, and we had a laugh about it. I'm so glad that it wasn't my mom. I don't know what I would've done then.

How the fuck did I even come up with the idea of wanking in the hallway?! Geez, I was crazy back then
who the fuck jerks it completely nekkid

...in a hallway no less.
I was 13. I was dumb when I was 13.

So was I, but I'd still never jerk it...nekkid...in front of a mirror...in a fuckin' hallway.

2008-03-15 15:51:55

#48

mikkel: Member; +383|6820

Freezer7Pro wrote:
Well, once my mom walked in when I was lying in my bed, fapping (You know my room layout by now), she knocked, the shock made me come

Wait, what? Your mom made you come?

2008-03-15 15:56:56

#49

Slickdawg8: Visit TAW.NET; +58|6996|Long Island

Almost many times, but i did witness my brother get caught. It was a school night and my mom thought he was sleeping, and we don't have locks on our doors. I knew he was wankin' it, and I tried to save him...for the love of god i tried to save hiM!!! But it was too late, my mom entered into that room, and he was sitting in his chair staring at the screen with headphones on, wankin' it, and he just screamed GET OUT!!!!! I was dying laughing, my mom was like "i didn't know" lol

And the one time that i almost got caught, i was supposed to be reading my book for school, got tired, so i decided to work the meat... i had JUST finished, and didn't have time to clean up. My mom walked into my room and immediately knew something was wrong from the guilt/embarassment on my face. She said what are u doing? I was like oh i feel guilty cause i wasnt reading when i was supposed to. i think she believed me...

2008-03-15 16:01:36

#50

tkoi: Utahraptor!; +148|6366|Texas

mikkel wrote:
Freezer7Pro wrote:
Well, once my mom walked in when I was lying in my bed, fapping (You know my room layout by now), she knocked, the shock made me come
Wait, what? Your mom made you come?

Zing!

no	40%	40% - 106
yes	14%	14% - 37
almost	42%	42% - 110
dont shuffle	2%	2% - 7
Total: 260

BF2S Forums have you ever been caught spanking your monkey

Poll

CommieChipmunk wrote:

mtb0minime wrote:

Rubix-Cubes wrote:

mtb0minime wrote:

SEREMAKER wrote:

HurricaИe wrote:

Rubix-Cubes wrote:

mtb0minime wrote:

SEREMAKER wrote:

avman633 wrote:

SEREMAKER wrote:

avman633 wrote:

kylef wrote:

topthrill05 wrote:

Rubix-Cubes wrote:

daddyofdeath wrote:

Lynx14 wrote:

GR34 wrote:

NateWiese wrote:

Freezer7Pro wrote:

Poseidon wrote:

NateWiese wrote:

Freezer7Pro wrote:

Freezer7Pro wrote:

Poseidon wrote:

NateWiese wrote:

Freezer7Pro wrote:

Freezer7Pro wrote:

mikkel wrote:

Freezer7Pro wrote:

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