Other then a select few, I think they are. I have possibly had the worst day of my life. And I won't be documenting everything as to why it was. Also, before reading, I'm sorry if it doesn't make sense I am writing this under the influence of rage and very cold hands due to walking around the block at the middle of night in pyjamas before I smashed something or someone.
Today started off just fine, was actually happy to wake up and go to school because my half yearly's were over. So i started off with history, getting my results. Was happy with them getting a beefy score of 18/20 in a topic I wasn't too confident with. Next up was maths, eager to see my results as I just flew threw the test, I get my results. 50/82. The fuck. Turned out I got marked down heaps because I didn't do working out. Oh, ok, I'm sorry I'm too fucking smart for your pathetic test and don't need to write out a huge problem to solve an equation. Getting marked down because I can do things in my head, GG. I like that logic. Then that lesson continued on with me sucking hardcore because I was away for the start of the new topic, then the teacher tells me to 'hurry up'. Excuse me lady, if I don't know what I am doing, and you refuse to tell me, how do you suggest I 'hurry up'? Fuck knows how you got a job teaching, because last time I checked, mentally handicapped people aren't eligible for a teachers position.
After that the school day got worse with me ending up getting in deep trouble with the head teacher because I headlocked some little grade 7 brat that thought he could fight me. What am I meant to do? Sit there and watch the midget try to hit me? Oh, its fine because hes shorter then me. Great logic head teacher, great logic midget. Both examples of prime thinking disorders. After that I didn't feel like playing handball or anything, so I sat on a bench by myself to hopefully rid my own little world of complete retards for maybe 20 minutes. 3 minutes into that, I had to go to the head office to explain 4 'unexplained absences' which took all of lunch and a bit before the brain-dead front office people realized that the one absence I actually had, my mother had rang up and explained as to why I couldn't attend. Then the 3 others was due to me being away playing Golf with the school. GG, front office people, couldn't understand simple English "I was at golf with the school". Fuck sake
I would like you to keep in mind that I am attending a new school in a completely new state, so I do not have as many friends as I used to have, and the ones I do have I don't feel completely safe with. I am really stressed, possibly on my way to being depressed, right now. And I don't really have anyone to fall back on. So i've just been gaming more and more, later nights and a higher intake of caffeine through Coke zero then what is recommended. So I suppose you could say I am a bit of an emotional wreck, which I shouldn't be going through at 14 years of age. And it doesn't help that even at my reasonable young age that I have more common sense then everyone in my age group, and most people in senior years, heck, even some adults. Many of the adults that I game with say that they can talk to me as though I am an adult compared with others from my age group.
Anyway, continuing with some more babble of events from my day/week/month in no particular order centered around the topic that I am the only one that can manage more then an ounce of brain power....I left some torrents on to download while I was having a horrible time at school so I can come home and listen to some Morning Musume to calm down. I specifically told my mother, who I have trusted as the only person in this world besides me and a few others that aren't scatter brained, not to touch the computer at all while I was at school. I get home from my shit day, grab some Coke from the fridge and my Mother interrupts me a second before i get into my room to listen to some Jpop, and says "Oh, before you get on your computer, I was cleaning your table and bumped a cord out so I turned your computer off". Um, mother, thanks for cleaning my desk and all, but didn't I say don't touch my computer...? I later found out that she only bumped the monitor cord out and she decided that the sounds coming from my tower must mean that the computer is OBVIOUSLY inoperable, therefore she turned it off. This happened 5 minutes after I left for school, meaning I spent the rest of my evening downloading at 5k/bs. Grand.
So when my downloads finally finished (8 hours after they were meant to) I sat down and started up some Counterstrike: Source, listening to my favourite Asian pop band and my favourite singles by them such as Egao Yes Nude (Hold my hand, yes nude), Chokkan 2 (intuition 2) and Joshi Kashimashi Monogatari (the many types of youth. All roughly translated, sorry for any mistakes). Anyway, I was actually doing quite well and CSS which is out of the usual for myself. Ended up quitting because a speed hacker came onto my server. So I was eating some scallops for a midnight snack chatting to a few people on vent. Had the most pathetic conversation ever. At one stage someone asked what the square root of 100 is, saying I'm 14 so I am obviously the stupidest person on that vent channel, I said 10. He said I was wrong and the answer was 15. Fail. Nice one scatter brain, I'm the dumb one and you're a high school drop out living on government payouts that can't figure out the square root of 100? I ended up giving up that conversation, when he was arguing about what cancer was and how eating McDonalds too much diagnoses you with it, with a Nano-scientist that is probably smarter then anyone who has graced the internet.
Then what really made me rage today, in my small stressful period I am in right now, my mother is just about the only person I can trust today. But that trust is slowly fading when she can not follow simple instructions, then bitches at me when I don't do something that she asks. And, I have told her multiple times NOT to bump my chair in game. She can say hello and stuff, but when I am in a game that I take seriously, she can not touch my chair because it swivels easy. She came in to say she was back, and I say "Not now, Seriously not now I am busy mother". She totally ignores me, comes in, bumps past my chair knocking my aim, to turn a light on so she could annoy me. I tell her to turn the light off because its one of them really bright lights that hurt your eyes if you've been in the dark for ages. She doesn't. I get up to turn it off while she is trying to say hello to me. All that to say hello.
Anyway she finally fucked off and then comes back in to tell me she is going to bed. YAY! TY4TELLING me. We both argued for awhile how I just wanted her out of my room because I was trying to concentrate, and she was just being stubborn and totally disregarding me. Turning the light on when I asked her not to, PURPOSELY bumping my chair because she knew it annoyed me. And when I started getting angry, I told her to get the fuck out of my room. I am a reasonable man after doing 2 years of anger management, but sometimes people just push it too far. She could tell I was getting angry, she knows that I have an anger management problem. It was like feeding your son who is allergic to peanuts, a peanutbutter sandwich. Then when I started getting really angry, I just put it behind me and fell onto my bed, as emo as it sounds, crying. Begging her to get out. She didn't even want anything anymore, she was just there purely to annoy me. She is my mother for fuck sake. Then she asks "what is wrong with you, why are you getting so angry easily". I tried explaining to her the only reason I am angry right now is because she isn't getting out of my personal space. She then said something about "trying to help". Listen here, because you are completely incapable of thought, if you wanted to help you would have left when I asked nicely the first 10 times. This argument went on for half an hour, before i got up admitting she finally accomplished her mission, I was driven completely insane, she could stop now before I charged out the door. Which is where my rant started off.
I know there will be a few people that will tell me to respect my parents, but tell me why, should i respect them if there not respecting me? Whatever, in your position sitting and listening, I probably sounded like an arsehole. But if you were there I think you would say that I was in all rights to get to that level of rage.
Just... Everything is so frustrating. I try to tell someone something, and I have to repeat it four times, despite how pathetically easy it is. "Yes...Just click 'cut' and then 'paste' and it will move it from here, to there!" "wait, slow down, I don't understand"
I could go on but I doubt anyone will read past this, and my concentration is fading quickly due to lack of food and I need to piss. To anyone that Disagrees: Fuck your theory.
Today started off just fine, was actually happy to wake up and go to school because my half yearly's were over. So i started off with history, getting my results. Was happy with them getting a beefy score of 18/20 in a topic I wasn't too confident with. Next up was maths, eager to see my results as I just flew threw the test, I get my results. 50/82. The fuck. Turned out I got marked down heaps because I didn't do working out. Oh, ok, I'm sorry I'm too fucking smart for your pathetic test and don't need to write out a huge problem to solve an equation. Getting marked down because I can do things in my head, GG. I like that logic. Then that lesson continued on with me sucking hardcore because I was away for the start of the new topic, then the teacher tells me to 'hurry up'. Excuse me lady, if I don't know what I am doing, and you refuse to tell me, how do you suggest I 'hurry up'? Fuck knows how you got a job teaching, because last time I checked, mentally handicapped people aren't eligible for a teachers position.
After that the school day got worse with me ending up getting in deep trouble with the head teacher because I headlocked some little grade 7 brat that thought he could fight me. What am I meant to do? Sit there and watch the midget try to hit me? Oh, its fine because hes shorter then me. Great logic head teacher, great logic midget. Both examples of prime thinking disorders. After that I didn't feel like playing handball or anything, so I sat on a bench by myself to hopefully rid my own little world of complete retards for maybe 20 minutes. 3 minutes into that, I had to go to the head office to explain 4 'unexplained absences' which took all of lunch and a bit before the brain-dead front office people realized that the one absence I actually had, my mother had rang up and explained as to why I couldn't attend. Then the 3 others was due to me being away playing Golf with the school. GG, front office people, couldn't understand simple English "I was at golf with the school". Fuck sake
I would like you to keep in mind that I am attending a new school in a completely new state, so I do not have as many friends as I used to have, and the ones I do have I don't feel completely safe with. I am really stressed, possibly on my way to being depressed, right now. And I don't really have anyone to fall back on. So i've just been gaming more and more, later nights and a higher intake of caffeine through Coke zero then what is recommended. So I suppose you could say I am a bit of an emotional wreck, which I shouldn't be going through at 14 years of age. And it doesn't help that even at my reasonable young age that I have more common sense then everyone in my age group, and most people in senior years, heck, even some adults. Many of the adults that I game with say that they can talk to me as though I am an adult compared with others from my age group.
Anyway, continuing with some more babble of events from my day/week/month in no particular order centered around the topic that I am the only one that can manage more then an ounce of brain power....I left some torrents on to download while I was having a horrible time at school so I can come home and listen to some Morning Musume to calm down. I specifically told my mother, who I have trusted as the only person in this world besides me and a few others that aren't scatter brained, not to touch the computer at all while I was at school. I get home from my shit day, grab some Coke from the fridge and my Mother interrupts me a second before i get into my room to listen to some Jpop, and says "Oh, before you get on your computer, I was cleaning your table and bumped a cord out so I turned your computer off". Um, mother, thanks for cleaning my desk and all, but didn't I say don't touch my computer...? I later found out that she only bumped the monitor cord out and she decided that the sounds coming from my tower must mean that the computer is OBVIOUSLY inoperable, therefore she turned it off. This happened 5 minutes after I left for school, meaning I spent the rest of my evening downloading at 5k/bs. Grand.
So when my downloads finally finished (8 hours after they were meant to) I sat down and started up some Counterstrike: Source, listening to my favourite Asian pop band and my favourite singles by them such as Egao Yes Nude (Hold my hand, yes nude), Chokkan 2 (intuition 2) and Joshi Kashimashi Monogatari (the many types of youth. All roughly translated, sorry for any mistakes). Anyway, I was actually doing quite well and CSS which is out of the usual for myself. Ended up quitting because a speed hacker came onto my server. So I was eating some scallops for a midnight snack chatting to a few people on vent. Had the most pathetic conversation ever. At one stage someone asked what the square root of 100 is, saying I'm 14 so I am obviously the stupidest person on that vent channel, I said 10. He said I was wrong and the answer was 15. Fail. Nice one scatter brain, I'm the dumb one and you're a high school drop out living on government payouts that can't figure out the square root of 100? I ended up giving up that conversation, when he was arguing about what cancer was and how eating McDonalds too much diagnoses you with it, with a Nano-scientist that is probably smarter then anyone who has graced the internet.
Then what really made me rage today, in my small stressful period I am in right now, my mother is just about the only person I can trust today. But that trust is slowly fading when she can not follow simple instructions, then bitches at me when I don't do something that she asks. And, I have told her multiple times NOT to bump my chair in game. She can say hello and stuff, but when I am in a game that I take seriously, she can not touch my chair because it swivels easy. She came in to say she was back, and I say "Not now, Seriously not now I am busy mother". She totally ignores me, comes in, bumps past my chair knocking my aim, to turn a light on so she could annoy me. I tell her to turn the light off because its one of them really bright lights that hurt your eyes if you've been in the dark for ages. She doesn't. I get up to turn it off while she is trying to say hello to me. All that to say hello.
Anyway she finally fucked off and then comes back in to tell me she is going to bed. YAY! TY4TELLING me. We both argued for awhile how I just wanted her out of my room because I was trying to concentrate, and she was just being stubborn and totally disregarding me. Turning the light on when I asked her not to, PURPOSELY bumping my chair because she knew it annoyed me. And when I started getting angry, I told her to get the fuck out of my room. I am a reasonable man after doing 2 years of anger management, but sometimes people just push it too far. She could tell I was getting angry, she knows that I have an anger management problem. It was like feeding your son who is allergic to peanuts, a peanutbutter sandwich. Then when I started getting really angry, I just put it behind me and fell onto my bed, as emo as it sounds, crying. Begging her to get out. She didn't even want anything anymore, she was just there purely to annoy me. She is my mother for fuck sake. Then she asks "what is wrong with you, why are you getting so angry easily". I tried explaining to her the only reason I am angry right now is because she isn't getting out of my personal space. She then said something about "trying to help". Listen here, because you are completely incapable of thought, if you wanted to help you would have left when I asked nicely the first 10 times. This argument went on for half an hour, before i got up admitting she finally accomplished her mission, I was driven completely insane, she could stop now before I charged out the door. Which is where my rant started off.
I know there will be a few people that will tell me to respect my parents, but tell me why, should i respect them if there not respecting me? Whatever, in your position sitting and listening, I probably sounded like an arsehole. But if you were there I think you would say that I was in all rights to get to that level of rage.
Just... Everything is so frustrating. I try to tell someone something, and I have to repeat it four times, despite how pathetically easy it is. "Yes...Just click 'cut' and then 'paste' and it will move it from here, to there!" "wait, slow down, I don't understand"
I could go on but I doubt anyone will read past this, and my concentration is fading quickly due to lack of food and I need to piss. To anyone that Disagrees: Fuck your theory.
Last edited by gene_pool (2007-05-11 10:26:57)