Have you ever been caught masterbating?

2007-04-14 23:24:38

#26

Superior Mind: (not macbeth); +1,755|6684

Never been caught but had a really close call. A few months ago I was doing it in my living room which was really unusual for me, because I almost always do it in my locked room. My dad wasn't home and wasn't expecting him home until like maybe 6 or 7 in the evening. It was like 4 and I was done, but still had it out all covered with love mayonnaise, then I hear my dad opening the front door so I just dart straight into the bathroom. I ran so fast in fact that I left my pants in the living room. So after I wash up and leave the bathroom my dad was like "why were your pants in the living room?" So I was like "um...uh...um...". So then he says to me "did you have an accident?" So I was like "ya ya, I just couldn't make it in time." My dad's thick lol.

Last edited by Superior Mind (2007-04-14 23:24:46)

x

2007-04-14 23:29:21

#27

Roger Lesboules: Ah ben tabarnak!; +316|6568|Abitibi-Temiscamingue. Québec!

null_o2 wrote:
Roger Lesboules wrote:
-101-InvaderZim wrote:
Yep - Got busted by my g/f while i was having some "Me Time"

Her expression was classic.
Dude...Wtf!!! you got a girlfriend and your sexing with your hand and not her...DUDE COME ON I MEAN!...ARG!
your assuming that the second you get a g/f you instantly get to have sex with her. not always the case dude.

I don't think i have ever been caught, but there have been some close calls,
you never know.

Nah nah i dont mean that...but i assume that most people who have GirlFriend have em for a little while and already started the fun lol...and also (talking for myself) when i got a GF i dont feel like making love to my hand that much you know...maybe im just wierd after all

2007-04-14 23:32:54

#28

tnt_dynamite: Member; +3|6732

you kids are gay

2007-04-14 23:33:01

#29

LT.Victim: Member; +1,175|6554|British Columbia, Canada

Some REALLY close calls..

Just enough time to stuff my package back into my pants.

2007-04-15 01:19:23

#30

officer_matt: I eat noobs for breakfast; +23|6220|Switzerland

at least i think was never caught^^

2007-04-15 01:22:31

#31

4thHazard: Member; +5|6239|Australia [Sydney NSW]

I have almost have but Luckily I covered up with a Sheet *Wipes the Sweat from Forehead*

2007-04-15 02:03:18

#32

max: Vela Incident; +1,652|6558|NYC / Hamburg

soldevilla13 wrote:
Never been caught cause i don't masturbate. Masturbating is for guys who can't get any pussy....grow up and get out some more, you'll get some soon. =P

huh? GFs are not there to be fucked 24/7. Its not like you have to spend every minute with one. When they are out of town for a few days, I'd rather use my hand than to cheat on her. Also girls have their mood swings and don't feel like sex once in a while. We all know that its physically impossible to go without sex for more than 48 hours.

_{once upon a midnight dreary, while i pron surfed, weak and weary, over many a strange and spurious site of ' hot xxx galore'. While i clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour, " 'Tis not possible!", i muttered, " give me back my free hardcore!"..... quoth the server, 404.}

2007-04-15 02:05:13

#33

_NL_Lt.EngineerFox: Big Mouth Prick; +219|6521|Golf 1.8 GTI Wolfsburg Edition

Des.Kmal wrote:
nope. not yet.

2007-04-15 02:07:43

#34

N.A.T.O: The People’s Champion; +59|6431|A drop house

No not yet im to sneaky.

2007-04-16 05:58:04

#35

Canadian_Sniper_X: Member; +45|6480|Kamloops, BC Canada

you know... if someone else gives me karma for this post... this would be the post I'm most known for. That would be fun? I'd karma you back

2007-04-16 12:28:33

#36

Ninja_Kid2002: Member; +119|6258|Floodsville, TN, (UK really)

3 instances:

1 - I was having a light-sabre fight with my pink Darth Vader over some porn and my bro suddenly came in. I hid 'you-know-what' under my T-shirt, but i think he knew.

2 - I was playing the pink oboe in the bath, and when I came out my other bro just said "splish splash" to me and looked at me as-if to say "I know what you were doing!"

3 - (The worst one even though I wasn't actually meeting with Madam Palm and her 5 sisters.) I was watching soft-core jazz on the tv, and I heard my mum coming up the stairs. As she opened my bedroom door I switched channels only to change onto a series called "Queer as Folk" where 3 men were having a spit roasting session on a hospital bed!
She said "What are you watching?!?!!!"
I said "Er............<massive pause>..........I was just channel chopping"

She probably still thinks I'm gay!

2007-04-16 12:30:03

#37

Andoura: Got loooollllll ?; +853|6630|Montreal, Qc, Canada

i rly dont know.... but i think so once by my mom... but im not sure

2007-04-16 12:33:47

#38

justice: OctoPoster; +978|6732|OctoLand

Many times I'm afraid, in fact one guy once called the police when he saw me masterbating.

I suppose it doesn't help when I whip out, outside the shop window....in the middle of the street.

I know fucking karate

2007-04-16 12:34:53

#39

^*AlphA*^: F*ckers; +3,135|6729|The Hague, Netherlands

max wrote:
nope

https://bf3s.com/sigs/36eac2cb6af70a43508fd8d1c93d3201f4e23435.png

2007-04-16 12:35:13

#40

Toni: Member; +4|6554

soldevilla13 wrote:
Never been caught cause i don't masturbate. Masturbating is for guys who can't get any pussy....grow up and get out some more, you'll get some soon. =P

Dork ... boys do it for the fun, real man do it for the stamina and fun, gays don't do it at all - so you must be ...

I'm having it all pussy + home tug-o-war

Back to question - not yet, but close

Last edited by Toni (2007-04-16 12:35:55)

2007-04-16 12:59:05

#41

silo1180: The Farewell Tour; +79|6413|San Antonio, TX

max wrote:
soldevilla13 wrote:
Never been caught cause i don't masturbate. Masturbating is for guys who can't get any pussy....grow up and get out some more, you'll get some soon. =P
huh? GFs are not there to be fucked 24/7. Its not like you have to spend every minute with one. When they are out of town for a few days, I'd rather use my hand than to cheat on her. Also girls have their mood swings and don't feel like sex once in a while. We all know that its physically impossible to go without sex for more than 48 hours.

QFT... sometimes the woman just isn't in the mood.

And for the record, the only time I ever got busted was by my wife. She understood though seeing as how she was 8/9 months pregnant at the time and I was being good about leaving her alone. She laughed, said she noticed I had been taking longer "showers".

2007-04-16 13:08:43

#42

FloppY_: +1,010|6277|Denmark aka Automotive Hell

Harmor wrote:
<--- Ninja Masturbater

I never EVER wanted to see those two words in the same sentence

Your thoughts, insights, and musings on this matter intrigue me

2007-04-16 13:20:21

#43

Ninja_Kid2002: Member; +119|6258|Floodsville, TN, (UK really)

ShawN_ wrote:
Harmor wrote:
<--- Ninja Masturbater
I never EVER wanted to see those two words in the same sentence

You didn't?
Hell I feel personally insulted. What you trying to say?

2007-04-16 13:24:49

#44

mKmalfunction: Infamous meleeKings cult. Est. 2003 B.C.; +82|6531|The Lost Highway

soldevilla13 wrote:
Never been caught cause i don't masturbate. Masturbating is for guys who can't get any pussy....grow up and get out some more, you'll get some soon. =P

Look kids! A virgin!!!!!!

2007-04-16 13:27:46

#45

daddyofdeath: A REAL Combat Engineer in the house; +187|6244|UK Bradford W,Yorks. Age 27

Yes...my partner caught me beating my meat over a porn vid.....busty blondes ftw!! Lol I always wondered why she left me for a few days. I asked her to ''finish me off'' but she kinda hit me....a few times repeatedly with a cup!!

2007-04-16 13:28:57

#46

davidonbf2: Banned; +19|6213

null vote , still trying to figure why this thread or topic was started

2007-04-16 13:29:15

#47

m3thod: All kiiiiiiiiinds of gainz; +2,197|6662|UK

Canadian_Sniper_X wrote:
soldevilla13 wrote:
Never been caught cause i don't masturbate. Masturbating is for guys who can't get any pussy....grow up and get out some more, you'll get some soon. =P
I don't believe you. Even guys who have sex still do it sometimes. Stop trying to compensate.

He's right i've fucked my girl in the afternoon and knocked one out in the evening when she wasn't around for seconds.

If you're male and don't wank, you're a fucking girl.

Blackbelts are just whitebelts who have never quit.

2007-04-16 13:30:10

#48

2tuff: Positive Karma Here!; +357|6767

mKmalfunction wrote:
soldevilla13 wrote:
Never been caught cause i don't masturbate. Masturbating is for guys who can't get any pussy....grow up and get out some more, you'll get some soon. =P
Look kids! A virgin!!!!!!

Haha No shit.

2007-04-16 13:30:44

#49

daddyofdeath: A REAL Combat Engineer in the house; +187|6244|UK Bradford W,Yorks. Age 27

m3thod wrote:
Canadian_Sniper_X wrote:
soldevilla13 wrote:
Never been caught cause i don't masturbate. Masturbating is for guys who can't get any pussy....grow up and get out some more, you'll get some soon. =P
I don't believe you. Even guys who have sex still do it sometimes. Stop trying to compensate.
He's right i've fucked my girl in the afternoon and knocked one out in the evening when she wasn't around for seconds.

If you're male and don't wank, you're a fucking girl.

Damn skippy. HIGH 5!

2007-04-16 13:36:49

#50

Sydney: 2λчиэλ; +783|6834|Reykjavík, Iceland.

No, I'm a sneaky wanker.

Yes	25%	25% - 63
No	74%	74% - 181
Total: 244

BF2S Forums Have you ever been caught masterbating?

Poll

null_o2 wrote:

Roger Lesboules wrote:

-101-InvaderZim wrote:

soldevilla13 wrote:

Des.Kmal wrote:

max wrote:

soldevilla13 wrote:

max wrote:

soldevilla13 wrote:

Harmor wrote:

ShawN_ wrote:

Harmor wrote:

soldevilla13 wrote:

Canadian_Sniper_X wrote:

soldevilla13 wrote:

mKmalfunction wrote:

soldevilla13 wrote:

m3thod wrote:

Canadian_Sniper_X wrote:

soldevilla13 wrote:

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