A Modest Proposal: For Preventing the Children of Poor People in America from Being a Burden to Their Parents or Country, and for Making Them Beneficial to the Military
A very knowing American of my acquaintance in Dallas suggested to me that we should end welfare for the sake of the children and future prosperity. We must not rob the well-to-do of what they rightfully earn in this free land of ours. Wealth begets wealth, and taxes only beget unemployment, which brings us to the issues at hand: the poor and the lazy.
To prevent the unfortunate and uneducated masses from turning to lives of criminality, we must motivate them to serve their country, and do it early. A young, healthy teen well trained, is, at 17 years old, a most agile warrior and resilient soldier, whether armed, programmed, drugged, or bought; and I make no doubt that he/she will equally serve well in a team or as a pilot.
I grant these young men and women may be somewhat dear, and therefore very proper for Warlords, who as they have already devoured most of the Parents, seem to have the best Title to the Children.
Gone shall be the days of idle mooching on the system's treacherously gained funds, for every man and woman of able body but lesser education and fortune shall have a job for them. It is only through persistent conquest that this great nation can civilize the hordes of Moslemdom and obtain the blessed fuel we seek. Such righteous pursuits require a stable and resolute supply of youthful minions, so the less fortunate shall become very fortunate to serve our noble leaders.
In the absence of our lesser brethren, worry shall not be warranted for the concerns of our nobility's labor. For this kind of commodity will bear importation, and work being of too unskilled a consistence, will admit a long continuance in illegal labor; I could name a country, which would be glad to serve our whole nation without borders (Mexico).
Therefore let no man talk to me of other expedients: of taxing our wealthy at 10% of their earnings, or of variating percentages based on wealth. It is through a mere 25% tax on our consumption that we shall fund this expanded military. A fair tax, is it not?
Let us turn our attention from our soon-to-be vacant ghettoes and toward the great Axis of Evil. It is only through fighting our enemies abroad that we may end the terror that grips the world and thin the swelled ranks of our indigent.
Have I your support in this, gentlemen?
A very knowing American of my acquaintance in Dallas suggested to me that we should end welfare for the sake of the children and future prosperity. We must not rob the well-to-do of what they rightfully earn in this free land of ours. Wealth begets wealth, and taxes only beget unemployment, which brings us to the issues at hand: the poor and the lazy.
To prevent the unfortunate and uneducated masses from turning to lives of criminality, we must motivate them to serve their country, and do it early. A young, healthy teen well trained, is, at 17 years old, a most agile warrior and resilient soldier, whether armed, programmed, drugged, or bought; and I make no doubt that he/she will equally serve well in a team or as a pilot.
I grant these young men and women may be somewhat dear, and therefore very proper for Warlords, who as they have already devoured most of the Parents, seem to have the best Title to the Children.
Gone shall be the days of idle mooching on the system's treacherously gained funds, for every man and woman of able body but lesser education and fortune shall have a job for them. It is only through persistent conquest that this great nation can civilize the hordes of Moslemdom and obtain the blessed fuel we seek. Such righteous pursuits require a stable and resolute supply of youthful minions, so the less fortunate shall become very fortunate to serve our noble leaders.
In the absence of our lesser brethren, worry shall not be warranted for the concerns of our nobility's labor. For this kind of commodity will bear importation, and work being of too unskilled a consistence, will admit a long continuance in illegal labor; I could name a country, which would be glad to serve our whole nation without borders (Mexico).
Therefore let no man talk to me of other expedients: of taxing our wealthy at 10% of their earnings, or of variating percentages based on wealth. It is through a mere 25% tax on our consumption that we shall fund this expanded military. A fair tax, is it not?
Let us turn our attention from our soon-to-be vacant ghettoes and toward the great Axis of Evil. It is only through fighting our enemies abroad that we may end the terror that grips the world and thin the swelled ranks of our indigent.
Have I your support in this, gentlemen?
