Bearz, I hope you at least stop by and read this. You say the wicked dont die, I am not in any sense a religious man, but think about it, God may very well have a plan for you. It always seems the chips are at their worst, but he might have something in store for you. You have a long hard fight ahead of you, and you have always from what I can tell been straight forward tell it like it is, I am sure that even though you struggle now, in the end it will be over and worth it for you. Take it one day at a time, and a single step into every situation, keep your head held high no matter what, and remember that people out there do care about you, and even though a large majority of the people in this forum do not know you personally, we do care and do love you and hope the absolute best for you and whatever your path takes you. I am sure you heard all these pieces of advice before, and its nothing new to you. Just remember that no matter what you always have a family at BF2s.com. Later, and I wish you the best.