what did the blind and deaf kid get for christmas?
Cancer.
Cancer.
What's the difference between John Wayne and Michael Jackson?
One's an American hero, the other one fucks kids.
One's an American hero, the other one fucks kids.
Sober enough to know what I'm doing, drunk enough to really enjoy doing it
Hey, did you hear about the plastic surgeon that hung himself?
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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "hey we have a drink named after you" The grasshopper says "really? you have a drink named jake?"
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What the hardest thing about wearing rollerskates?
Telling your dad you're gay
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Whats worse than sitting on your dad's lap and feeling his erection?
Him showing it to you
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Whats black and blue and doesnt like sex?
The 6 year old in my trunk
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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "hey we have a drink named after you" The grasshopper says "really? you have a drink named jake?"
----------------------------------
What the hardest thing about wearing rollerskates?
Telling your dad you're gay
----------------------------------
Whats worse than sitting on your dad's lap and feeling his erection?
Him showing it to you
----------------------------------
Whats black and blue and doesnt like sex?
The 6 year old in my trunk
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I came up with one a few months ago, it just popped into my head.
"Why is it a bad idea to be around an Iraqi on a windy day?"
"Because you might get blow away"
"Why is it a bad idea to be around an Iraqi on a windy day?"
"Because you might get blow away"
Just saw this on Ugoto.com....
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
your mom is so fat she is on both sides of the family
Might want to check page two bro.p1.topher wrote:
Just saw this on Ugoto.com....
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
[Blinking eyes thing]
Steam: http://steamcommunity.com/id/tzyon
Steam: http://steamcommunity.com/id/tzyon
Bahaha, I actually laughed at that..:ronin:.|Patton wrote:
your mom is so fat she is on both sides of the family
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A stick.
Why did the girl fall off the swing?
Because someone threw a piano at her.
A stick.
Why did the girl fall off the swing?
Because someone threw a piano at her.
??Sgt.Davi wrote:
K so 4 Tigers, an Emu, 17 Rhinos, no less than 138 pelicans, 8 lions, 10 snakes and 16 elephants walk into a bar and the bartender says, "IS this some sort of joke?"
I got it wrong
The one got it wrong after all that is the funniest thing on this whole joke page.....
What's better then winning a gold medal at the special olypics??
Not being retarded
I posted it before but it is one of my fav's...
What's better then winning a gold medal at the special olypics??
Not being retarded
I posted it before but it is one of my fav's...
Or poem style
Roses are red.
Violets are blue
I gave you AIDS
Roses are red.
Violets are blue
I gave you AIDS
What do John the Baptist and Kermit the Frog have in common?
Their middle name
Their middle name
Which plant is the most scariest?
The bamboo
The bamboo
Which plant eats people?
The dandelion
The dandelion
A man walks into a bar
Hes a drunk and he beats and wife and kids when he gets home
german jokes ftw
Hes a drunk and he beats and wife and kids when he gets home
german jokes ftw
two guys are walking down a street and one falls over and injures himself badly
"Quick Call the paramedic" He cried
so his friend used his phone to call 000 (911 for those in the US and 999 for the people in the UK)
20 mins later the ambulance can be seen heading down the road, driving iradicly.
it stops and two paramedics get out acting all drunk and tipsy
the injured guy said "i thaught you called the paramedics"
his friend looking at the phone's display and then the sign on the ambulance states:
"oh sorry, i called the paralytics"
"Quick Call the paramedic" He cried
so his friend used his phone to call 000 (911 for those in the US and 999 for the people in the UK)
20 mins later the ambulance can be seen heading down the road, driving iradicly.
it stops and two paramedics get out acting all drunk and tipsy
the injured guy said "i thaught you called the paramedics"
his friend looking at the phone's display and then the sign on the ambulance states:
"oh sorry, i called the paralytics"
Last edited by TheDoctor (2006-09-10 01:35:18)
Why don't jews eat pussy??
It's too close to the gas chamber...
It's too close to the gas chamber...
What's the difference between an Irish Funeral and an Irish Wedding??
One less drunk
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Why is italy shaped like a Boot??
You can't fit that much shit in a shoe..
One less drunk
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Why is italy shaped like a Boot??
You can't fit that much shit in a shoe..
you mean 911?TheDoctor wrote:
991 for those in the US
"people in ny have a general idea of how to drive. one of the pedals goes forward the other one prevents you from dying"
Two Muffins are sitting in the hot oven.
Do you think hes going to eat us says the 1st Muffin
and the 2nd Muffin yells ARRGGH! A TALKING MUFFIN!
Do you think hes going to eat us says the 1st Muffin
and the 2nd Muffin yells ARRGGH! A TALKING MUFFIN!
Those of you with my MSN have seen me say this quite a lot recently...
So, Steve Irwin walks into a barb...
So, Steve Irwin walks into a barb...
Not funny.Coolbeano wrote:
Those of you with my MSN have seen me say this quite a lot recently...
So, Steve Irwin walks into a barb...
"people in ny have a general idea of how to drive. one of the pedals goes forward the other one prevents you from dying"
Why did the lesbians beat the gays to the airport?
Because the gays were at home packin their shit and the lesbians were lickity-split!
Because the gays were at home packin their shit and the lesbians were lickity-split!