Welcome to Electronic Arts, Thailand Chapter.
Thailand is in 21st place with the number of BF2 Accounts... online. With more than 100 points. There are approximately another 20-30 thousand kids here playing BF2, offline. They can't afford a real version to play online. And of course around another thousand that have an online account... but can't seem to reach more than a hundred points.
Now because I'm stuck in this darn country, I'm forced to play on their servers. Well, I could stray to EASG (Singapore) or EATW (Taiwan) and maybe even EAJP (Japan) if I dare try, but just leaving the country with connections and my ping goes awry. And there aren't any other servers in Thailand period, let alone any ranked ones. So it's these few EA TH servers. Notice that they run two servers on one computer. Same IP, different port. And you notice it.
I'm forced to play on their servers, so I'm forced to play with other Thai's. Short background, I'm a Canadian-Singaporean living in Thailand. I speak English, French, and some German and Dutch. No Mandarin, no other dialect, and no Thai whatsoever. TCK. So I can't really communicate with the rest of the players.
First noob annoyance. Commanders who don't know what to do. Commanders who apply, get accepted, then go off and fight normally. Worse yet when these don't even know they're commander, or what the hell 'commander' means.
Those requests were there... from the beginning of the round. Now look at the tickets.
Some commanders, however, are smart enough to press capslock but then they're pretty clueless.
Others know what each of the commands do, but don't know how to use them effectively.
Others just blindly accept.
Twice.
So then sometimes I try to mutiny vote him out. Not today, though.
Full 16 players in a 16 player server on a 16 player map.
But apparently, there aren't enough players to initiate a mutiny vote. Look closely, you can see it behind the scoreboard.
Seriously, EA, this is one of the few things (compared to others who have lots of things) that I feel the need to say... WTF?
That aside... let's look at the names of some of these players in Thailand.
BS2_maniac. I think you missed the 'F' key.
|JESUS|. OMG I PLAY WITH JESUS!!!!11ONEONE
superkook. Supercook? Uh oh.
lookkaijaidum. Some other Thai expression. Apparantly translates to something close to "Mean, selfish little fucktard". Honestly.
nookkee. You spelt Nookie wrong. Wookiee has two Es.
candymankig. I sure wish I could be mankig some candy too.
#Sexy# Hemeglobin. NO! Hemoglobin is NOT SEXY. That's just wrong.
cha01. Thai, for Tea01. Or Mandarin for Fried01.
ATI9600xt. Wow good for you.
lastsatan. Yeah, last time I checked there was, and will always be, one Satan.
spielen. German for 'play'. I'll leave your imagination to wonder there.
Howabout a few more?
Dreadlocks. Okay. Maybe you have dreadlocks. You probably don't. But I still don't get it.
Stonyfield. Some symbolism here, perhaps? He looks harmless, but he's got a few hard surprises? That came out wrong.
094344339. Here in Thailand, that's a valid mobile phone number. So I called it, half expecting it to be a Kae Laew, or a prostitute house. Unfortunately no one picked up. I'll try again tomorrow. Plus his prefix is an oral digestion movement. Scary.
[Step-OnN*2]mOnzA. All I got was 'step on monza'. Right...
Evorution. Now I know Kim Jong-Il and many Thai people have a problem saying their Ls, sounding like Rs. I'm so Ronery, etc. But seriously, spelling problems now? Just say it out loud, makes me laugh.
[F]ouR[G]angTeR and [M]oD[GangTeR. Some kind of clan? Well congratulations, you seem to be very similar to each other, I like that in a clan. Similar meaning you both die too much and you both can't fucking spell the word 'gangster. Hell maybe it's supposed to be GangTeR... but at least get it right, both of you.
~usa~Z@. Thais have this strange adoration for the United States. Don't even get me started on this topic.
SUNAKOTUM. Perhaps a Thai word. I asked my friend. It's a Thai word synonymous with 'cauliflower'.
momotaro13. Did a little Google search. It appears this is Momotaro:
Peach Boy in Japan.
With a small weewee.
Hey, don't tell me you weren't looking.
Perhaps this is a more appropriate picture.
...Perhaps not.
A very noob-ish moment happened today. Me and this other MEC have just captured Lower Dam on Kubra 16p. So the helicopter spawns and we run towards it. All of a sudden it's neutralized, and so we turn around and run back. I get there first, and am instantly vaporized by the APC. My teammate gets there and takes out the APC with C4, then kills three other USMC with his AK-74U. I'm spectating this, and then with all opposition taken out, he runs back to the chopper, leaving the base uncaptured. wtf? Does he not know how to capture a flag? Apparantly not, because he flies to Power Station which is ours, and looks for soldiers to kill there. Smart.
If only I could screenshot that.
But it seemed somewhat familiar.
Ah yes... the USMC were camping... they seemed to be very good at that. But not very good at capturing bases.
People say that a lot of asshole players have their pagedown button glued flat becuase they always get punished for accidental teamkills.
Here, it's the exact opposite.
Even his clanmates voted against him.
Back to the language barrier...
Occasionally, there is a Thai player who can speak English.
Sometimes they give me compliments.
I wish I could compliment them on their excellent English... but that would be lying. And lying's bad.
Hmph.
"Why don't you go back home?"
"I'm coming back"
"Tomorrow you have to go to school, please"
Okay...
Now a short Thai lesson. The number '5' is pronounced 'Haa' in Thai. Now, of course, Thai gamers and Internet whores alike made their own 'lol' version... '55'. Pronounced, 'haha'. Simple. Now, like 'rofl' and 'lmao', these people stretched more exaggerated versions. Just not so creatively. 555 and 555+. Then of course there are terms like 'roflmfao' which can be translated to '5555555++'. And so on. It's also become a sign of happiness, as shown here.
And those are the noobs of Thailand. Feel lucky, I've spared you the worst.
There are much worse.
PS.
You spelt Bitch wrong.
Thailand is in 21st place with the number of BF2 Accounts... online. With more than 100 points. There are approximately another 20-30 thousand kids here playing BF2, offline. They can't afford a real version to play online. And of course around another thousand that have an online account... but can't seem to reach more than a hundred points.
Now because I'm stuck in this darn country, I'm forced to play on their servers. Well, I could stray to EASG (Singapore) or EATW (Taiwan) and maybe even EAJP (Japan) if I dare try, but just leaving the country with connections and my ping goes awry. And there aren't any other servers in Thailand period, let alone any ranked ones. So it's these few EA TH servers. Notice that they run two servers on one computer. Same IP, different port. And you notice it.
I'm forced to play on their servers, so I'm forced to play with other Thai's. Short background, I'm a Canadian-Singaporean living in Thailand. I speak English, French, and some German and Dutch. No Mandarin, no other dialect, and no Thai whatsoever. TCK. So I can't really communicate with the rest of the players.
First noob annoyance. Commanders who don't know what to do. Commanders who apply, get accepted, then go off and fight normally. Worse yet when these don't even know they're commander, or what the hell 'commander' means.
Those requests were there... from the beginning of the round. Now look at the tickets.
Some commanders, however, are smart enough to press capslock but then they're pretty clueless.
Others know what each of the commands do, but don't know how to use them effectively.
Others just blindly accept.
Twice.
So then sometimes I try to mutiny vote him out. Not today, though.
Full 16 players in a 16 player server on a 16 player map.
But apparently, there aren't enough players to initiate a mutiny vote. Look closely, you can see it behind the scoreboard.
Seriously, EA, this is one of the few things (compared to others who have lots of things) that I feel the need to say... WTF?
That aside... let's look at the names of some of these players in Thailand.
BS2_maniac. I think you missed the 'F' key.
|JESUS|. OMG I PLAY WITH JESUS!!!!11ONEONE
superkook. Supercook? Uh oh.
lookkaijaidum. Some other Thai expression. Apparantly translates to something close to "Mean, selfish little fucktard". Honestly.
nookkee. You spelt Nookie wrong. Wookiee has two Es.
candymankig. I sure wish I could be mankig some candy too.
#Sexy# Hemeglobin. NO! Hemoglobin is NOT SEXY. That's just wrong.
cha01. Thai, for Tea01. Or Mandarin for Fried01.
ATI9600xt. Wow good for you.
lastsatan. Yeah, last time I checked there was, and will always be, one Satan.
spielen. German for 'play'. I'll leave your imagination to wonder there.
Howabout a few more?
Dreadlocks. Okay. Maybe you have dreadlocks. You probably don't. But I still don't get it.
Stonyfield. Some symbolism here, perhaps? He looks harmless, but he's got a few hard surprises? That came out wrong.
094344339. Here in Thailand, that's a valid mobile phone number. So I called it, half expecting it to be a Kae Laew, or a prostitute house. Unfortunately no one picked up. I'll try again tomorrow. Plus his prefix is an oral digestion movement. Scary.
[Step-OnN*2]mOnzA. All I got was 'step on monza'. Right...
Evorution. Now I know Kim Jong-Il and many Thai people have a problem saying their Ls, sounding like Rs. I'm so Ronery, etc. But seriously, spelling problems now? Just say it out loud, makes me laugh.
[F]ouR[G]angTeR and [M]oD[GangTeR. Some kind of clan? Well congratulations, you seem to be very similar to each other, I like that in a clan. Similar meaning you both die too much and you both can't fucking spell the word 'gangster. Hell maybe it's supposed to be GangTeR... but at least get it right, both of you.
~usa~Z@. Thais have this strange adoration for the United States. Don't even get me started on this topic.
SUNAKOTUM. Perhaps a Thai word. I asked my friend. It's a Thai word synonymous with 'cauliflower'.
momotaro13. Did a little Google search. It appears this is Momotaro:
Peach Boy in Japan.
With a small weewee.
Hey, don't tell me you weren't looking.
Perhaps this is a more appropriate picture.
...Perhaps not.
A very noob-ish moment happened today. Me and this other MEC have just captured Lower Dam on Kubra 16p. So the helicopter spawns and we run towards it. All of a sudden it's neutralized, and so we turn around and run back. I get there first, and am instantly vaporized by the APC. My teammate gets there and takes out the APC with C4, then kills three other USMC with his AK-74U. I'm spectating this, and then with all opposition taken out, he runs back to the chopper, leaving the base uncaptured. wtf? Does he not know how to capture a flag? Apparantly not, because he flies to Power Station which is ours, and looks for soldiers to kill there. Smart.
If only I could screenshot that.
But it seemed somewhat familiar.
Ah yes... the USMC were camping... they seemed to be very good at that. But not very good at capturing bases.
People say that a lot of asshole players have their pagedown button glued flat becuase they always get punished for accidental teamkills.
Here, it's the exact opposite.
Even his clanmates voted against him.
Back to the language barrier...
Occasionally, there is a Thai player who can speak English.
Sometimes they give me compliments.
I wish I could compliment them on their excellent English... but that would be lying. And lying's bad.
Hmph.
"Why don't you go back home?"
"I'm coming back"
"Tomorrow you have to go to school, please"
Okay...
Now a short Thai lesson. The number '5' is pronounced 'Haa' in Thai. Now, of course, Thai gamers and Internet whores alike made their own 'lol' version... '55'. Pronounced, 'haha'. Simple. Now, like 'rofl' and 'lmao', these people stretched more exaggerated versions. Just not so creatively. 555 and 555+. Then of course there are terms like 'roflmfao' which can be translated to '5555555++'. And so on. It's also become a sign of happiness, as shown here.
And those are the noobs of Thailand. Feel lucky, I've spared you the worst.
There are much worse.
PS.
You spelt Bitch wrong.
