BF2S Forums The BF2s girl-problems thread

finray isn't she like the same age?

you have serious mack issues

Here is  my current situation:
    I've known the girl since the first year of secondary school, which is 7 years I think. During secondary school we always got on, and some people even suggested they think she likes me. Fast forward to beginning of this year, where me and Jess break up. I had to remake all of my friends again, and this girl was one of the easiest to get along with, and was also one of the key figures in my current social group. We get on well, I enjoy conversation with her, which is hugely important to me, although I don't find silence awkward with her either. She has an open mind about music which is also important to me. She doesn't have the best body, but she is pretty, and she is confident, and all that works for me.

    The problematic part started around March time. Since re-making her as a friend we often joked with each other in the usual flirtatious ways, and this was fine until one of my closest friends decides he likes her. At this point, she was just a friend to me so it was all cool, although our flirting pissed him off so I had to tone it down a bit, which wasn't a problem for me. My friend thinks he's in love with her, although he'd never had a relationship before. He became slightly obsessed to say the least, and would say things about how he wanted his virginity to go to her etc. He made it obvious to her that he liked her, which caused many an awkward situation. It was stressing her out, because she couldn't do anything without seemingly hurting him, and it was upsetting her because they were really close friends before he decided he wanted more. She told him she wasn't interested in him that way, as they were too close, and he just wouldn't leave it. I figured she could do with a bit of light hearted stress relief, so once a week she'd come round just to chill, we'd chat, watch (and by watch I actually mean watch) movies etc. This was all good till one night, out of nowhere, and to this day I can't remember how it started, we were kissing. I was cool with it at the time, but when she left, I felt like a complete dickhead, cause at the end of the day one of my other friends REALLY liked her. Next time I saw her however it was like nothing had happened. Then the time after that she came round again, and nothing happened. One day we go to the cinema, I'm fully settled on the idea that it was just a one off and have brushed it off. On the way home, she says she doesn't really wanna go home yet, so I suggest we go to a nearby park, cause there's benches and I don't really wanna just walk around. Cue 2 hours of kissing (just kissing), and then I walk her home.

    The process would just keep going on. I'd see her a couple of times like nothing had happened and then some random days she kiss me. This has carried on throughout the year, with more recently, her kissing me around our friends whilst on nights out, but not whilst they were paying attention to us. None of them (as far as I'm aware) notice it, or know anything about it. At the moment it sounds kind of lame, just kissing for however many months on and off. Here's one part of the situation. On various seperate occasions, I have (and there is no way of saying this without it sounding childish imo) played with her boobs, not through the shirt, but bare boobs (for anyone who doesn't know, I'm not a virgin or anything so this isn't something revolutionary for me). It's a problem because I've tried to take it further than this, but she always stops me, which somewhat confusing to me. I'm allowed to turn her on, but not allowed to do anything about it.. I get that she might not want to do anything out of a relationship, but if that were the case why let me turn her on.

    Anyway, all this has been going on, I've just been taking it as it comes, it doesn't mean too much to me,  it's a bit of fun. In the background, the friend who liked her got a  girlfriend, lost his virginity, and sorted his life out, so I feel less bad about things. More recently, the whole kissing thing has been happening a lot less, and I've also come to realise I pretty much like her. This is where shit gets really complicated for me. When my other friend was in love with her, me and the girl had a chat about relationships, and at the time we told each other than neither of us were really interested in relationships. I had just come out of a long one, and she had her heart set on travelling. Also, I'm generally a very good judge of peoples body language or the way they react around me, the motives behind what they say etc, and I just cannot figure this girl out, and the whole on/off kissing thing is not helping. We haven't spoken about it, which is a mistake I made as I should have asked the day after, and I feel it will just be too awkward to bring it up now. If I asked her how she felt there is the problem of her doing it just for one, which again would make things awkward as it will become clear I like her, and then I'd lose a solid friend as well. I could just leave it, but there is the chance that if she felt the same way, I'd have missed an opportunity to have a relationship with someone who I feel would be a decent match for me. And then if we did both wanna make a go of it, would I be a dick to do it because of the old situation with her and my friend? It's all a lot of If's and but's, and doesn't make much sense typed up, but I've tried my best. I can't really talk to my friends about cause they wouldn't be much help really So yeh. There we go lol.

Uzique wrote:

finray isn't she like the same age?

you have serious mack issues

You haven't seen Jak's sister obviously...

wouldn't care if she was 11 or 120, I'd tap that, no doubt.

finray's got mad issues

Gonna level with you here, Jak, it's too long and boring to read. Sorry brah.

JakAttaK wrote:

Yeh as if his avatar didn't tell you enough lol. Anyway, someone try and give me some advice!

I think she just thinks kissing with you is fun? Might not be sexual, just kissing like the French do. Either way, seems like she just enjoys foreplay so much, and figures that going all the way isn't worth it.

Last edited by Trotskygrad (2010-11-28 12:53:40)

Trotsky - If that is what it is, that is literally the first time I've hear anything like that ><

Yeh except I really see no benefits to it I guess put like that it could be a valid point though.

JakAttaK wrote:

Yeh except I really see no benefits to it I guess put like that it could be a valid point though.

I mean it makes sense, it's like masturbation (not really lul) with an actual girl. You get turned on, she gets turned on, but no one gets pregnant.

Just be like "I need to get this off my chest cause it's been eating away at me for a while. What does all of this random kissing mean? I ask because I have no idea if it's meaningless or if it means something, seeing as I can't read anything you do. You're a total mystery, and ignore it after it happens, which feels to me as if you think it's wrong or something..."

I dunno man, just whatever feels right. You need to try really hard to fuck up with a real friend, so you should be fine.

Okay, next time it happens I'll give a combination of the last 2 posts a go and see what happens. It's just waiting for it to happen now

Zimmer wrote:

Finray wrote:

Okay I read it

my eyes hurt, I'm seeing lines across the screen

anyway, seems to me like you've got either a) a definate good friend who you can fool around with and perhaps maybe 1% chance get fuck buddys out of, or b) tell her how you feel and risk losing her to get her for good.

s'up to you m80.

Please, for the love of god do not listen to him. What he just said was a pile of dogshit.

General forum advice: listen to what Finray has to say, then do the opposite.