Enabler or Hero: Saving family from Foreclosure

2010-08-15 09:53:41

#1

Harmor: Error_Name_Not_Found; +605|6833|San Diego, CA, USA

So I have a family member who is in the process of Foreclosure. I could buy their home and save them but I'm not sure if I should.

They are not responsible with money. Often I would try to give them clothes to their kids but they refused because it wasn't "name brand". I brought boxes of food over to their house and they refuse to take it and get upset at me. A whole host of events like this made me disillusioned with their problem until I heard that one of them lost their job and they are in the process of foreclosure.

They are family. An additional mortgage payment won't significantly diminish my lifestyle. Any money I've "loaned" to family I always considered as a gift - I never expect them to pay it back. But something as substantial as a house and the fact that I'll be their landlord basically is something I'm unsure about.

Anyone have any experience with this or shed some light on this predicament?

2010-08-15 09:55:18

#2

Jay: Bork! Bork! Bork!; +2,006|5643|London, England

It won't end well.

"Ah, you miserable creatures! You who think that you are so great! You who judge humanity to be so small! You who wish to reform everything! Why don't you reform yourselves? That task would be sufficient enough."
-Frederick Bastiat

2010-08-15 09:58:12

#3

Cybargs: Moderated; +2,285|7001

fuck unconditional love

https://cache.www.gametracker.com/server_info/203.46.105.23:21300/b_350_20_692108_381007_FFFFFF_000000.png

2010-08-15 10:08:25

#4

Phrozenbot: Member; +632|6900|do not disturb

Absolutely not.

2010-08-15 10:19:23

#5

jord: Member; +2,382|6963|The North, beyond the wall.

Depends on the family member. I wouldn't do anything to help my extended family that I see twice a year, however for my mother id do anything. Up to you really, we can't know.

2010-08-15 10:20:03

#6

Flaming_Maniac: prince of insufficient light; +2,490|6992|67.222.138.85

Talk to them.

2010-08-15 10:20:49

#7

Jay: Bork! Bork! Bork!; +2,006|5643|London, England

You've obviously already got a soft spot in your heart for them, what will you do if they miss their rent? Like I said, it won't end well.

"Ah, you miserable creatures! You who think that you are so great! You who judge humanity to be so small! You who wish to reform everything! Why don't you reform yourselves? That task would be sufficient enough."
-Frederick Bastiat

2010-08-15 10:25:08

#8

ghettoperson: Member; +1,943|6934

Don't do it. It's nice of you to think of them, but if they're not responsible with money, then they have to somehow learn to be. I mean, if they're living on the streets that would be the time to help them out, but not to buy out their house. I don't know how much you'd be talking about, but I assume it must be $100K+, which I think you've gotta really be well off to be able to forget about. Don't forget, if you ever end up having kids $100k goes a long way for college, and you can't guarantee that you'll always have a well paying job.

2010-08-15 10:27:08

#9

Cybargs: Moderated; +2,285|7001

They sound pretty ungrateful.

2010-08-15 10:30:29

#10

Phrozenbot: Member; +632|6900|do not disturb

JohnG@lt wrote:
You've obviously already got a soft spot in your heart for them, what will you do if they miss their rent? Like I said, it won't end well.

And start abusing the place once it isn't theirs? Had a friend do to that to my brother. Left it a complete disaster and failed to pay for a few months.

2010-08-15 10:30:53

#11

The_Sniper_NM: Official EVGA Fanboy; +94|6398|SC | USA |

Hate to sound harsh, but it sounds like they need a kick in the pants (like losing their house).

2010-08-15 10:54:43

#12

ATG: Banned; +5,233|6814|Global Command

Write a contract that attaches any equity they have until you are paid back and write a clause that gives you right to sell and be first lien holder in case of default.

2010-08-15 11:16:15

#13

Harmor: Error_Name_Not_Found; +605|6833|San Diego, CA, USA

Just found out they have 2 seconds on their home. Even if they file bankruptcy they'll not be able to get out of them.

Its the well-being of my niece, nephew as well as my Aunt with dementia that lives with them I'm worried about...

2010-08-15 12:30:47

#14

lowing: Banned; +1,662|6936|USA

Now for sound advice.......Only do so as an investment for yourself. If it is a solid investment, go for it and helping your family will be a by-product of that investment. If you can not benefit from it, let it go.

Take your family members in. Let your fucked up family members sink.

Last edited by lowing (2010-08-15 12:33:11)

2010-08-15 13:05:11

#15

Macbeth: Banned; +2,444|5870

The parents sound like ungrateful fuck ups but

An additional mortgage payment won't significantly diminish my lifestyle.

if that's the case, for the children and the aunt sake, I would. Worst comes to worse, sorry to sound mean here, but you end up with a rental property.

2010-08-15 20:11:24

#16

Doctor Strangelove: Real Battlefield Veterinarian.; +1,758|6753

Macbeth wrote:
The parents sound like ungrateful fuck ups but
An additional mortgage payment won't significantly diminish my lifestyle.
if that's the case, for the children and the aunt sake, I would. Worst comes to worse, sorry to sound mean here, but you end up with a rental property.

This.

The kids are innocent in this, and if you help them know then they will be significantly less likely to get fucked for the future.

2010-08-15 20:14:44

#17

Jay: Bork! Bork! Bork!; +2,006|5643|London, England

Rule 1, on page 1 of the book of war, is: "Do not march on Moscow". Rule 2 of war is: "Do not go fighting with your land armies in China".

Rule 1, on page 1 of the book of family is "Do not try to collect rent from family members". Rule 2 of family is "Do not loan money to family members".

"Ah, you miserable creatures! You who think that you are so great! You who judge humanity to be so small! You who wish to reform everything! Why don't you reform yourselves? That task would be sufficient enough."
-Frederick Bastiat

2010-08-15 20:16:57

#18

AussieReaper: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°); +5,761|6438|what

Would they loan you the money if the situation was reversed?

2010-08-15 20:18:19

#19

Macbeth: Banned; +2,444|5870

JohnG@lt wrote:
Rule 1, on page 1 of the book of war, is: "Do not march on Moscow". Rule 2 of war is: "Do not go fighting with your land armies in China".

Rule 1, on page 1 of the book of family is "Do not try to collect rent from family members". Rule 2 of family is "Do not loan money to family members".

Rule 1, on page one of the book of internet forums is "Read the OP properly"

OP wrote:
Any money I've "loaned" to family I always considered as a gift - I never expect them to pay it back.

I meant he cold evict them.

2010-08-15 20:21:36

#20

Jay: Bork! Bork! Bork!; +2,006|5643|London, England

Macbeth wrote:
JohnG@lt wrote:
Rule 1, on page 1 of the book of war, is: "Do not march on Moscow". Rule 2 of war is: "Do not go fighting with your land armies in China".

Rule 1, on page 1 of the book of family is "Do not try to collect rent from family members". Rule 2 of family is "Do not loan money to family members".
Rule 1, on page one of the book of internet forums is "Read the OP properly"
OP wrote:
Any money I've "loaned" to family I always considered as a gift - I never expect them to pay it back.
I meant he cold evict them.

I did read it Not my first comment in this thread.

Should he offer a helping hand? Yes. To the extent that he would take in his niece and nephew until their parents got back on their feet? I would, but it's entirely up to him. If they've fucked up their finances to the point that they have three mortgages on their home any money spent to help them beyond taking in their kids would obviously be squandered and they'd be ungrateful. They obviously have no respect for money.

"Ah, you miserable creatures! You who think that you are so great! You who judge humanity to be so small! You who wish to reform everything! Why don't you reform yourselves? That task would be sufficient enough."
-Frederick Bastiat

2010-08-15 21:40:14

#21

Harmor: Error_Name_Not_Found; +605|6833|San Diego, CA, USA

JohnG@lt wrote:
Rule 1, on page 1 of the book of war, is: "Do not march on Moscow". Rule 2 of war is: "Do not go fighting with your land armies in China".

Rule 1, on page 1 of the book of family is "Do not try to collect rent from family members". Rule 2 of family is "Do not loan money to family members".

After much deliberation...let them get foreclosed on, they'll move into an apartment and my Aunt will go into a home.

Unless I was willing to buy their home and pay it scott-free then all I would be in the bad guy trying to collect rent from my irresponsible family members. And I don't think I could evict them.

Tough love.

Oh, what triggered all this is when I started asking about all their finances and they refused to show me anything. I said fine...goto http;//www.apartments.com and look for one there if your internet hasn't been shut off. Then I left $1.00 in quarters on the table. She said, what's this...I said, you'll need this to buy a paper because I know your internet will be turned off.

2010-08-15 21:50:38

#22

unnamednewbie13: Moderator; +2,056|7056|PNW

Besides, this is a personal choice that should be influenced more by a balance between your own moral code and common sense than the internet.

Helping extended family out like that is, by my view, the 'honorable' thing to do. But you'd have to view it as a financial loss because these things are very rarely paid back.

2010-08-15 22:14:01

#23

Harmor: Error_Name_Not_Found; +605|6833|San Diego, CA, USA

I offered to help and they refused my help because I required that they come clean on their finances. I was willing to take a loss for up to a year completely rent free, but they wouldn't even take that because they said I would be controlling their lives. And I said, yeah, because I'm paying for half of it.

I also required them to first file bankruptcy (this way they couldn't easily get further into debt), on their $400,000 home.

/sigh

2010-08-15 23:07:45

#24

Dilbert_X: The X stands for; +1,816|6391|eXtreme to the maX

Harmor wrote:
I offered to help and they refused my help because I required that they come clean on their finances. I was willing to take a loss for up to a year completely rent free, but they wouldn't even take that because they said I would be controlling their lives. And I said, yeah, because I'm paying for half of it.

If they can't be reasonable or responsible about it then hard luck.

You'd be taking a loss for the rest of your life, or YOU would be the one tossing them out on the street when you have enough of them paying no rent. That would be worse than having the bank toss them out now.

Let the bank foreclose and force them into bankruptcy, let them get thrown out, buy the house in foreclosure if you want (I guess it would be cheaper) then see what they come up with.

Loans to friends and family rarely work, either look at it as a gift or treat them as customers.

(I say this having paid my parents mortgage for 5+ years, which was a slightly different situation, in the end they paid me back plus the difference between a bank mortgage and what I could have got from savings interest).

Last edited by Dilbert_X (2010-08-16 00:43:12)

Fuck Israel

2010-08-16 00:41:56

#25

ghettoperson: Member; +1,943|6934

How do you even get into a position where you have that many mortgages on one house? Harsh as it is to say (about family anyway) they need to learn a lesson about living within their means.

BF2S Forums Enabler or Hero: Saving family from Foreclosure

JohnG@lt wrote:

Macbeth wrote:

JohnG@lt wrote:

OP wrote:

Macbeth wrote:

JohnG@lt wrote:

OP wrote:

JohnG@lt wrote:

Harmor wrote:

Board footer