Real World Facts About Having Employees

2010-04-18 19:31:00

#1

ATG: Banned; +5,233|6814|Global Command

They are lazy.
They clock in and leave their brains in the car.
They steal from you.
They pad their time cards and expenses.
Most have little ambition besides lunch and vacation hours.
Most are incapable of wiping their ass and washing their hands.
You can't run a business without them.
The worst of the worst works for the government.

2010-04-18 19:32:29

#2

RTHKI: mmmf mmmf mmmf; +1,743|7022|Cinncinatti

seeing that this is now serious. some of these seem true more than others. i only mowed grass as a job so i have no set hours and can not comment on my own actions.

Last edited by RTHKI (2010-04-18 22:38:56)

2010-04-18 19:49:03

#3

Canin: Conservative Roman Catholic; +280|6760|Foothills of S. Carolina

ATG wrote:
They are lazy.
They clock in and leave their brains in the car.
They steal from you.
They pad their time cards and expenses.
Most have little ambition besides lunch and vacation hours.
Most are incapable of wiping their ass and washing their hands.
You can't run a business without them.
The worst of the worst works for the government.

They may leave their brains in the car, but they sure as hell remember their cell phones

This sounds exactly like employees in the restaurant industry..

2010-04-18 19:52:18

#4

CC-Marley: Member; +407|7114

Canin wrote:
ATG wrote:
They are lazy.
They clock in and leave their brains in the car.
They steal from you.
They pad their time cards and expenses.
Most have little ambition besides lunch and vacation hours.
Most are incapable of wiping their ass and washing their hands.
You can't run a business without them.
The worst of the worst works for the government.
They may leave their brains in the car, but they sure as hell remember their cell phones

This sounds exactly like employees in the restaurant industry..

So true. Most of our waitresses have iphones. If it were my place I'd give you a 1st warning then you are gone. Even all the cops are on their cellphones texting away.

2010-04-18 19:53:39

#5

Canin: Conservative Roman Catholic; +280|6760|Foothills of S. Carolina

Can't go anywhere anymore without seeing the employees more engrossed in their cellphones than in customer service.

2010-04-18 20:02:27

#6

ATG: Banned; +5,233|6814|Global Command

Cell phones and the internet have been the biggest killer of production and customer service.

I actually placed a camera in my shop.
check it out.

2010-04-18 20:06:06

#7

13/f/taiwan: Member; +940|5984

And the goods ones are either taken or go to make something better of themselves. I can't imagine how much of a pain it is to run a business. My Father has almost no hair because of that. Good post ATG.

How many people do you employ?

2010-04-18 20:22:57

#8

Hurricane2k9: Pendulous Sweaty Balls; +1,538|5987|College Park, MD

Hire better employees. Fire those who prove to be crap.

https://static.bf2s.com/files/user/36793/marylandsig.jpg

2010-04-18 20:35:18

#9

Reciprocity: Member; +721|6866|the dank(super) side of Oregon

lol, I don't think any of those apply to me. Except for maybe the lazy one. But I'm not really lazy, I just don't do more than my job description. I'm paid salary because my boss can't afford my overtime, so there's the unspoken rule that he doesn't ask me to stay late, come in on weekends or do anything beyond my paygrade. In exchange, I overlook the illegality of his paying me a salary. Sometimes he forgets and I simply say no. He probably thinks I'm lazy, but he's just cheap.

and it's already been made clear to me that showing initiative won't get me anything, so I don't bother. I can tell he gets frustrated and thinks I should put in extra effort. He thinks I should care about the well-being of his company.

Last edited by Reciprocity (2010-04-18 20:59:49)

2010-04-18 20:37:55

#10

Turquoise: O Canada; +1,596|6690|North Carolina

ATG wrote:
Cell phones and the internet have been the biggest killer of production and customer service.

Yep, and cell phones even contribute to a more literal killer.... brain cancer.

2010-04-18 20:43:55

#11

Hurricane2k9: Pendulous Sweaty Balls; +1,538|5987|College Park, MD

Turquoise wrote:
ATG wrote:
Cell phones and the internet have been the biggest killer of production and customer service.
Yep, and cell phones even contribute to a more literal killer.... brain cancer.

lol

2010-04-18 22:10:45

#12

ATG: Banned; +5,233|6814|Global Command

13/f/taiwan wrote:
And the goods ones are either taken or go to make something better of themselves. I can't imagine how much of a pain it is to run a business. My Father has almost no hair because of that. Good post ATG.

How many people do you employ?

1-5.

If my workers were a cat;

2010-04-19 00:17:17

#13

DonFck: Hibernator; +3,227|6917|Finland

ATG wrote:
Cell phones and the internet have been the biggest killer of production and customer service.

On the other hand, thanks to cell phones and the internet, I can be reached 24/7 on business, even on holiday.

I need around tree fiddy.

2010-04-19 00:56:27

#14

unnamednewbie13: Moderator; +2,056|7057|PNW

Bluetooth is the bane of all employers, and super-dangerous on construction sites.

Hurricane2k9 wrote:
Hire better employees. Fire those who prove to be crap.

The problem lies in finding better employees. I know there's a lot of people looking for work, but far fewer willing to work.

Last edited by unnamednewbie13 (2010-04-19 00:57:58)

2010-04-19 04:19:19

#15

Canin: Conservative Roman Catholic; +280|6760|Foothills of S. Carolina

DonFck wrote:
ATG wrote:
Cell phones and the internet have been the biggest killer of production and customer service.
On the other hand, thanks to cell phones and the internet, I can be reached 24/7 on business, even on holiday.

You say that like its a good thing :sarcasm:

2010-04-19 04:21:48

#16

AussieReaper: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°); +5,761|6438|what

Pay peanuts.

Get monkeys.

2010-04-19 04:23:17

#17

Jaekus: I'm the matchstick that you'll never lose; +957|5463|Sydney

AussieReaper wrote:
Pay peanuts.

Get monkeys.

qft

2010-04-19 04:44:57

#18

Shahter: Zee Ruskie; +295|7060|Moscow, Russia

AussieReaper wrote:
Pay peanuts.

Get monkeys.

outsorce to china. rice is chaper.

if you open your mind too much your brain will fall out.

2010-04-19 04:50:45

#19

DonFck: Hibernator; +3,227|6917|Finland

Shahter wrote:
AussieReaper wrote:
Pay peanuts.

Get monkeys.
outsorce to china. rice is chaper.

Did you just compare the Chinese to monkeys?

I need around tree fiddy.

2010-04-19 04:52:05

#20

Shahter: Zee Ruskie; +295|7060|Moscow, Russia

DonFck wrote:
Shahter wrote:
AussieReaper wrote:
Pay peanuts.

Get monkeys.
outsorce to china. rice is chaper.
Did you just compare the Chinese to monkeys?

no. just rice to peanuts.

if you open your mind too much your brain will fall out.

2010-04-19 05:06:23

#21

Flecco: iPod is broken.; +1,048|6950|NT, like Mick Dundee

unnamednewbie13 wrote:
Bluetooth is the bane of all employers, and super-dangerous on construction sites.

If the boss sees a phone being used for something not business related at work, and you aren't on a break...

Well, lets just say it's kinda a condition of employment you don't break this rule while he's around. You lose your phone... and recovering data is hard when the circuitry has been treated to a claw hammer, sledge hammer or jackhammer.

Whoa... Can't believe these forums are still kicking.

2010-04-19 05:07:22

#22

Jay: Bork! Bork! Bork!; +2,006|5643|London, England

Wanna hire me? I don't own a cell phone (by choice)

"Ah, you miserable creatures! You who think that you are so great! You who judge humanity to be so small! You who wish to reform everything! Why don't you reform yourselves? That task would be sufficient enough."
-Frederick Bastiat

2010-04-19 05:08:25

#23

DonFck: Hibernator; +3,227|6917|Finland

Pochsy wrote:
Oh man, I can't wait! I'll be working for the government!

You'll need to provide me tips on how to be extraordinarily inefficient. I don't want to look like I don't know what I'm doing.

The lead thought is: Minimum input, average output.

I need around tree fiddy.

2010-04-19 05:13:59

#24

Flecco: iPod is broken.; +1,048|6950|NT, like Mick Dundee

Pochsy wrote:
Oh man, I can't wait! I'll be working for the government!

You'll need to provide me tips on how to be extraordinarily inefficient. I don't want to look like I don't know what I'm doing.

Crash the computer, jam the photocopier.

Whoa... Can't believe these forums are still kicking.

2010-04-19 05:17:59

#25

Jaekus: I'm the matchstick that you'll never lose; +957|5463|Sydney

Make sure if you're dealing with anyone from the public to make things happen at least three times longer than the most inefficient way possible, and then if they complain, forward it to another department you know won't do anything about it, or better yet will forward it onto another department. Your aim is to try and get as many people forwarded back to you, in which case you can suggest they write a letter and it will be looked at in 6 months. If you receive any such letters, destroy them.

Last edited by Jaekus (2010-04-19 05:19:26)

BF2S Forums Real World Facts About Having Employees

ATG wrote:

Canin wrote:

ATG wrote:

ATG wrote:

Turquoise wrote:

ATG wrote:

13/f/taiwan wrote:

ATG wrote:

Hurricane2k9 wrote:

DonFck wrote:

ATG wrote:

AussieReaper wrote:

AussieReaper wrote:

Shahter wrote:

AussieReaper wrote:

DonFck wrote:

Shahter wrote:

AussieReaper wrote:

unnamednewbie13 wrote:

Pochsy wrote:

Pochsy wrote:

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