Fail War Reports

2009-12-22 22:22:09

#1

War Man: Australians are hermaphrodites.; +563|6926|Purplicious Wisconsin

Thought I'd make a thread like this. Here is how it works, make a report of some made up battle/war with some bf2s member involved whether it'd be against another bf2s member or something else such as McDonalds

Example: Sometime today, Gooners' forces attacked War Man's 5th Guard Brigade stationed in the city of Omegle starting a Fuck You war. The fighting was fierce as it caused tons of collateral damage. But in the end, the 5th managed to hold off long for Gooners to decide to withdrawal. It is unknown if this war will go any longer but it is safe to say that it was a victory for War Man despite Gooners' propaganda.

The irony of guns, is that they can save lives.

2009-12-22 22:24:34

#2

Adams_BJ: Russian warship, go fuck yourself; +2,054|6835|Little Bentcock

One boy is dead and many left cheering after War Man from Wisconsin was killed by his own grenade. Stupidity is thought to be the cause.

2009-12-22 22:35:37

#3

Hurricane2k9: Pendulous Sweaty Balls; +1,538|5914|College Park, MD

The undead legions of Detroit waged a final assault against the noble guardians of Fort Fried Chicken. Despite their state of... death, the zombies appeared to still hunger for the deep-fried meat held within the Fort. The defenders were able to hold them off with threats of unleashing german shepherds and job applications. The zombies then feasted upon the corpse of War Man.

https://static.bf2s.com/files/user/36793/marylandsig.jpg

2009-12-22 22:37:06

#4

Adams_BJ: Russian warship, go fuck yourself; +2,054|6835|Little Bentcock

Hurricane2k9 wrote:
The undead legions of Detroit waged a final assault against the noble guardians of Fort Fried Chicken. Despite their state of... death, the zombies appeared to still hunger for the deep-fried meat held within the Fort. The defenders were able to hold them off with threats of unleashing german shepherds and job applications. The zombies then feasted upon the corpse of War Man.

you forgot the watermelons

2009-12-22 22:37:32

#5

Hurricane2k9: Pendulous Sweaty Balls; +1,538|5914|College Park, MD

Adams_BJ wrote:
Hurricane2k9 wrote:
The undead legions of Detroit waged a final assault against the noble guardians of Fort Fried Chicken. Despite their state of... death, the zombies appeared to still hunger for the deep-fried meat held within the Fort. The defenders were able to hold them off with threats of unleashing german shepherds and job applications. The zombies then feasted upon the corpse of War Man.
you forgot the watermelons

Those are kept at MCAS Watermelon.

2009-12-22 22:38:58

#6

seymorebutts443: Ready for combat; +211|6808|Belchertown Massachusetts, USA

Hurricane2k9 wrote:
The undead legions of Detroit waged a final assault against the noble guardians of Fort Fried Chicken. Despite their state of... death, the zombies appeared to still hunger for the deep-fried meat held within the Fort. The defenders were able to hold them off with threats of unleashing german shepherds and job applications. The zombies then feasted upon the corpse of War Man.

lol'd +1.

2009-12-23 00:13:54

#7

War Man: Australians are hermaphrodites.; +563|6926|Purplicious Wisconsin

Shifty has been given command 50% of War Man's forces including the Gay Corp and 5th Guard Brigade as War Man had written in his will. The other 50% will command themselves.

The irony of guns, is that they can save lives.

2009-12-23 00:25:49

#8

=NHB=Shadow: hi; +322|6578|California

aw i knew it they are totally in for each other - war related

2009-12-23 08:18:12

#9

Gooners: Wiki Contributor; +2,700|6845

i love this guy

2009-12-23 08:47:50

#10

-Sh1fty-: plundering yee booty; +510|5686|Ventura, California

I begin a war against France and instantly win. I then rename "French Fries" to Freedom Fries.

I then tranfer all my gay soldiers to Butts443 since I know he understands their ways, and I keep the 5th Guard Brigade and start planning a new county to invade.

And above your tomb, the stars will belong to us.

2009-12-23 08:52:41

#11

menzo: ̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏&#; +616|6659|Amsterdam‫

-Sh1fty- wrote:
I begin a war against France and instantly win. I then rename "French Fries" to Freedom Fries.

I then tranfer all my gay soldiers to Butts443 since I know he understands their ways, and I keep the 5th Guard Brigade and start planning a new county to invade.

belgian fries > french fries

Last edited by menzo (2009-12-23 08:53:00)

https://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee37/menzo2003/fredbf2.png

2009-12-23 08:53:58

#12

.Sup: be nice; +2,646|6666|The Twilight Zone

menzo wrote:
-Sh1fty- wrote:
I begin a war against France and instantly win. I then rename "French Fries" to Freedom Fries.

I then tranfer all my gay soldiers to Butts443 since I know he understands their ways, and I keep the 5th Guard Brigade and start planning a new county to invade.
belgian fries > french fries

Fact? Based on what?

https://www.shrani.si/f/3H/7h/45GTw71U/untitled-1.png

2009-12-23 08:55:11

#13

menzo: ̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏&#; +616|6659|Amsterdam‫

.Sup wrote:
menzo wrote:
-Sh1fty- wrote:
I begin a war against France and instantly win. I then rename "French Fries" to Freedom Fries.

I then tranfer all my gay soldiers to Butts443 since I know he understands their ways, and I keep the 5th Guard Brigade and start planning a new county to invade.
belgian fries > french fries
Fact? Based on what?

my taste

2009-12-23 08:55:38

#14

.Sup: be nice; +2,646|6666|The Twilight Zone

menzo wrote:
.Sup wrote:
menzo wrote:

belgian fries > french fries
Fact? Based on what?
my taste

Fact it is!

2009-12-23 08:56:22

#15

menzo: ̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏&#; +616|6659|Amsterdam‫

.Sup wrote:
menzo wrote:
.Sup wrote:

Fact? Based on what?
my taste
Fact it is!

2009-12-23 08:56:46

#16

13urnzz: Banned; +5,830|6710

Freedom Fries =

there is no such thing. Jr seems to forget, without French involvement in the Revolutionary War, America would be English and not the United States. he also doesn't remember (or never knew) that without the Louisiana Purchase, westward expansion would've stopped in Kentucky.

2009-12-23 09:01:09

#17

.Sup: be nice; +2,646|6666|The Twilight Zone

USA' history is interesting

2009-12-23 09:03:39

#18

Jasp: Bongabilla; +171|6875|The Outer Circle

-Sh1fty- wrote:
I begin a war against France and instantly win. I then rename "French Fries" to Freedom Fries.

I then tranfer all my gay soldiers to Butts443 since I know he understands their ways, and I keep the 5th Guard Brigade and start planning a new county to invade.

Big aspirations there...

https://static.bf2s.com/files/user/11882/holteendersig2.jpg

https://forums.bf2s.com/img/avatars/11508.gif

2009-12-23 09:05:07

#19

SEREVENT: MASSIVE G STAR; +605|6320|Birmingham, UK

.Sup wrote:
USA' history is interesting

you can finish it in one lesson

2009-12-23 09:07:18

#20

-Sh1fty-: plundering yee booty; +510|5686|Ventura, California

TPM-J45P3R- wrote:
-Sh1fty- wrote:
I begin a war against France and instantly win. I then rename "French Fries" to Freedom Fries.

I then tranfer all my gay soldiers to Butts443 since I know he understands their ways, and I keep the 5th Guard Brigade and start planning a new county to invade.
Big aspirations there...

Again with the typos

And above your tomb, the stars will belong to us.

2009-12-23 09:18:22

#21

King_County_Downy: shitfaced; +2,791|6810|Seattle

Don't bring this shit to King County.

Sober enough to know what I'm doing, drunk enough to really enjoy doing it

2009-12-23 09:42:16

#22

Iconic Irony: Bare Back Rough Rider; +189|5489|San Angelo, TX

Reports coming in from FailNews that Commander Shifty and his entire 5th Guard Brigade are dead. Coroners on the scene are reporting a 100% mortality rate among the men saying that, "the whole bunch of them are dead, gone, finished, wiped out, it's just terrible, horrible even.". According to eye witnesses the 5th Guard Brigade had recently conquered France and were sitting down to a plate of recently renamed "Freedom Fries" when all of the sudden men started vomiting and spewing diarrhea until eventually they started falling over dead. No word yet on the autopsies or when they would be completed. For now all we know is that this is a great tragedy.

More news as it develops, please stay tuned.

In other news, the Heinz ketchup corporation announced that it would be testing it's new ketchup flavor "Cyanide Cetchup" earlier this week by shipping the flavors in unmarked bottles around western Europe. This is part of an ongoing advertising campaign initiating by the new CEO of Hienz Ketchup, Mr. Lollipown.

2009-12-23 09:49:55

#23

Ryan: Member; +1,230|7056|Alberta, Canada

Ryan came and fucked the whole world with a goddamn nuke. Game over.

2009-12-23 09:50:51

#24

Gooners: Wiki Contributor; +2,700|6845

cryan //_0

2009-12-23 11:34:57

#25

Peter: Super Awesome Member; +494|6615|dm_maidenhead

Am i missing where this came from or does everyone else think this thread sucks too?

BF2S Forums Fail War Reports

Hurricane2k9 wrote:

Adams_BJ wrote:

Hurricane2k9 wrote:

Hurricane2k9 wrote:

-Sh1fty- wrote:

menzo wrote:

-Sh1fty- wrote:

.Sup wrote:

menzo wrote:

-Sh1fty- wrote:

menzo wrote:

.Sup wrote:

menzo wrote:

.Sup wrote:

menzo wrote:

.Sup wrote:

-Sh1fty- wrote:

.Sup wrote:

TPM-J45P3R- wrote:

-Sh1fty- wrote:

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