BF2S Forums You are the Emperor

Flaming_Maniac wrote:

Uzique wrote:

philosopher king
guardians
banish all poets

No you're doing it wrong Uzique, you have to be the one in charge of the nation.

Moonbase populated with a hand-selected population. Maintain relative militaristic dominance until the moonbase is on its feet, secretly develop weapons on the moon. Nuke the pyramids with minimal warning. Hold the world hostage at the point of off-world nuclear weapons, the demands being don't do stupid shit.

Macbeth wrote:

Make sure not to attack anyone who might be a danger to our power.

If you don't keep them in line why will they not attack you?

Um I guess it would have been better to say not invade Russia or bomb Pearl Harbor.

Flaming_Maniac wrote:

But what if someone Pearl Harbor's you?

whine on facebook.

Take a couple million out of the treasury, retire to my own island. Hold elections, hand over control.

Flaming_Maniac wrote:

Uzique wrote:

philosopher king
guardians
banish all poets

No you're doing it wrong Uzique, you have to be the one in charge of the nation.

Moonbase populated with a hand-selected population. Maintain relative militaristic dominance until the moonbase is on its feet, secretly develop weapons on the moon. Nuke the pyramids with minimal warning. Hold the world hostage at the point of off-world nuclear weapons, the demands being don't do stupid shit.

Macbeth wrote:

Make sure not to attack anyone who might be a danger to our power.

If you don't keep them in line why will they not attack you?

bitch please, i am the motherfucking philosopher king. my theory of knowledge and form is pristine, i am epistemologically fucking perfect.

horse porn 24x7

War Man wrote:

Create military space stations, train the majority of my military to drop from space. Create lasers, masers, plasma weapons, etc. for my troops. Have specialised vehicle designed to planetary drop. When my force is ready and my economy is good enough, STRIKE!!! Drop in hordes of infantry and vehicles all over the planet to conquer the world. When task 1 is complete, begin task 2: rebuild. After that is over, task 3 is to stabilize the entire world. Task 4, I become immortal due to medical breakthroughs. Task 5, take over Mars and rule the system forever.

pretty sure that's just halo.

Continue to franchise McDonalds to every country in the world x10. Banish all forms of fast food from my country. In a few years everyone else will get fat and be unfit for combat.

AussieReaper wrote:

jsnipy wrote:

horse porn 24x7

Wouldn't the horse get tired?

Well, multiple horses would be used. Not in a single shoot, rather, to produced a steady stream of vanilla horse porn features.

burnzz wrote:

there's a ton of 'em out here. Mustangs, in fact. put those fuckers to work, what, free loading offa gov.t lands and whatnot. . . .

I think you shall have a cabinet appointment.

Move my people (jews) to the moon.

Nuke the earth.

Repopulate the Earth with Jews.

Super race go.

Superior Mind wrote:

Poseidon wrote:

Move my people (jews) to the moon.

Nuke the earth.

Repopulate the Earth with Jews.

Super race go.

More like race of the deformed, cripples, and retards. Those Hasidim love to interbreed.

like the polygamists out here. GG inbreeders! teh family tree hath no branches!

I would abandon my emperor status to create a democratic republic. That is all.

Superior Mind wrote:

Imagine you have complete control of your nation's military, resource flow, and treasury.

Since in my case that would probably be Holland, it means that my nation's "military, resource flow, and treasury" are all in the deficit.

As such expansion is my primary concern. The first thing I would do is cut all financial/political support to former colonies. This will instantly cause these states to collapse, forcing them back into the empire. I'll also cut all third world aid and withdraw any peacekeeping forces except for those in Afghanistan.

The second thing to do is to break with the EU. The EU is pretty fixed as it is now and leaving it would probably keep all major economical benefits in place, while it enables me not having to conform to its silly cultural and environmental laws. The Euro is still there and borders will remain open, for now. Dissapearing EU subsidies (e.g. for farmers) can easily be replaced by national subsidies as Holland contributes more to the EU than it recieves. In the long run, internal reforms will make these subsidies redundant alltogether, but for the period of transition national subsidies will do.

Thirdly I would focus on reinforcing ties with Russia. Russia will be a major trading partner and thé trading partner for my military equipement. The finest Russian gear is at least as good as its NATO counterpart, but still vastly cheaper and more flexible. The only reason the Russians don't dield it is that it is still too expensive for them. I had a thing once with a girl in Siberia, whom I would make my Empress consort. Apart from that she would make an ideal Empress, a move like that would surely do well with the Russian public and reinforce political ties. That said and done, I'd draw Serbia, Greece and other willing orthodox countries in the entente to get a broader foothold across the European continent. All US nuclear warheads are to be removed from Dutch soil or put under Dutch Imperial control. Meanwhile tensions between the Walloons and Flemish have rissen to the south, allowing a lucrative deal to be struck for a annexation of Flanders. The French will get a larger part of Wallon, with the exception of the Liege/Luik area. The Dutch Empire will now have an extra major port at Antwerp and one of the worlds biggest arms factories at Herstal.

There will be very limited censorship. Rather, pro government media will actively be supported to simply outshine non sponsored media (Berlusconi model). Conscription will be reactivated. No conscripts will be deployed abroad, voluntary troops will do those tasks. Conscription for all male citizens after they leave school aged 16+ will primarily serve as a means to teach them discipline and fill their heads with nationalist ideas. All restrictions on the growth of Schiphol airport and the Europort harbor, made out of environmentalist reasons, will be lifted to enable full economic growth. The Markerwaard polder will finally be finished to accomodate a huge forensic area for the city of Amsterdam, an additional airport dedicated solely to cargo transport and new detention facilities to meet the demands of the strongly revised jurisdictional system. Psychiatric penitary institutions will be closed as they do not work. Longer sentences will be given to protect society from dangerous elements rather than focus fully on the reintegration of the perpetrator. Rapists, peadophiles and compulsive murderers will be guillotined (cheap, failsafe and relatively painless) to save money and diminish suffering for victims, relatives and otherwise life-prisoners.  Soft drugs semi-legalization will be reverted as well as the legalization of prostitution, to crack down on organized crime and human trafficking. Polices forces will be reduced in size and appointed to administrative tasks only. A new Gendarmerie branch is to be instated to take over all policing field work. The gendarmerie will be more heavily armed and have more authorization.


Endangered species of birds are screwed as the northern Waddenzee will be fully exploited for the winning of natural oil and gas. Taxes on petrol are to be reduced severely. Non progressive income tax is introduced; to compensate for this, minimum wage is brought up and necessary social wellfare allowances are higher. All public services, including healthcare, infrastructure and energy management are to be deprivatized. Healthcare insurance will be non existant as all healthcare is covered through tax. A new magnetic railway is to be build between Amsterdam and Groningen in order for the Randstad economic area to expand in the northern regions. The education system will be simplified and more focus will be placed on History, Literature, Culture and Religion at the expense of redundant math and spelling skills as future generation will be using claculators and MS Word Spelling Check anyway. The focus on culture and religion is not to indoctrinate children, but rather grant them a better understanding of the world and create a better general understanding between various ethnic and religious groups in the country's failed multicultural society. All modern wind mills are knocked down and replaced by a single nuclear reactor in Flevoland polder as a way to provide energy more efficiently.

More might follow,..