Help with a veteran friend

2008-10-31 08:42:09

#1

Schwarzelungen: drunklenglungen; +133|6601|Bloomington Indiana

Hey guys.

Im wondering if some of the combat/service veterans (or anyone else who has gone through this) can give me some advice for dealing with my buddy.

after high school he went into the army as a cav scout, did the whole iraq thing and did some things that took a while to get over.

anyway, he just got out over the summer and decided to come back to school here where i am. Its good having him back, but he seems to be getting more and more anti-social/reserved. Every time i go over to his house he's playing WOW in his room while his girlfriend sits on the couch watching tv.

last night there were about 8 of us there shooting the shit and drinking beers. the only time he came out of his room was to go outside and have a cigarette or get a beer out of the fridge to take back to his room.

i understand the whole issue of adjusting back into civilian life, so im hoping this is just a phase.

if anyone has any advice on how to help him through this awkward/difficult time im open to hearing it. Its really bothering/scaring a lot of us

2008-10-31 08:46:57

#2

SEREMAKER: BABYMAKIN EXPERT √; +2,187|6873|Mountains of NC

its WOW ........... thats the problem

https://static.bf2s.com/files/user/17445/carhartt.jpg

2008-10-31 09:00:08

#3

SgtHeihn: Should have ducked; +394|6792|Ham Lake, MN (Fucking Cold)

I am still having problems adjusting 2 1/2 years later. Only people I really connect with is guys in the/former military.
Get him off fucking WOW.

Edit: Get some recordings of AK-47 and RPG fire and blare it. That will get him off WOW and out of his room.

Last edited by SgtHeihn (2008-10-31 09:09:46)

2008-10-31 09:05:03

#4

usmarine: Banned; +2,785|7066

some people just dont like to go out. at least force him to play a non homo game. tell him communists love that game.

2008-10-31 09:06:05

#5

God Save the Queen: Banned; +628|6648|tropical regions of london

hey, at least the dude has a girlfriend.

2008-10-31 09:07:26

#6

SgtHeihn: Should have ducked; +394|6792|Ham Lake, MN (Fucking Cold)

usmarine wrote:
some people just dont like to go out. at least force him to play a non homo game. tell him communists love that game.

I heard that China's GNP went down like $100mil and they had to restrict bandwidth because of that game.

2008-10-31 09:08:07

#7

God Save the Queen: Banned; +628|6648|tropical regions of london

usmarine wrote:
some people just dont like to go out.

Im the same way. I rarely go out. Although, being around young, attractive, of age females in a classroom all day is great therapy.

2008-10-31 09:10:20

#8

SEREMAKER: BABYMAKIN EXPERT √; +2,187|6873|Mountains of NC

God Save the Queen wrote:
usmarine wrote:
some people just dont like to go out.
Im the same way. I rarely go out. Although, being around young, attractive, of age females in a classroom all day is great therapy.

thats 3rd grade GTFO

2008-10-31 09:11:47

#9

SgtHeihn: Should have ducked; +394|6792|Ham Lake, MN (Fucking Cold)

God Save the Queen wrote:
usmarine wrote:
some people just dont like to go out.
Im the same way. I rarely go out. Although, being around young, attractive, of age females in a classroom all day is great therapy.

I am kinda looking forward to that after I serve my 328hrs of community service. Catch them fresh and naive from HS....

2008-10-31 09:18:00

#10

m3thod: All kiiiiiiiiinds of gainz; +2,197|6976|UK

you already have a gf ....and a kid....

Blackbelts are just whitebelts who have never quit.

2008-10-31 09:21:18

#11

rdx-fx: ...; +955|6896

Give him a month or two to get over the "Stranger in a Strange Land"/"Invasion of the Body Snatchers" thing.

After having been deployed someplace nasty & dangerous for a long period of time, he may take a while to get back "into" the world.

For some veterans, it feels like all the faces and places are the same, but somehow everything is different. Especially for an early-20's vet that went from high school to the sandbox. They're looking at the world through different eyes, but it seems that everything else is .. different. This is the "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" thing I mentioned.

It really sucks that they're sending kids over there for 12-18 months for their first tour. That's too much of a "zap" on their heads. It gets easier with multiple deployments, and it's much easier to get back into the world if your first couple of deployments are only 3-6 months.
Much easier to go from "there" to "here" to "there" if your first few trips "there" weren't long enough to seem like they were permanent.

In short, give the guy the time and space to get his head straight.

He's playing WoW for a while. . it's safer than what I did when I got back from my first "trip".
I got a new motorcycle, and spent as much time as I could doing 150+ mph (Mach 0.21) on Texas freeways.
Combination of thrill, something demanding complete concentration, and something that gets everyone else out of my face for a while.

2008-10-31 09:22:41

#12

Schwarzelungen: drunklenglungen; +133|6601|Bloomington Indiana

usmarine wrote:
some people just dont like to go out. at least force him to play a non homo game. tell him communists love that game.

he loves going out.
he is *was?* the typical alpha male party guy until about 2 weeks ago.

dropped some classes and stopped doing much of anything besides "omg raid! LOL"

im kicking him in the nuts and turning off his computer tonight....its freakin halloween

2008-10-31 09:22:59

#13

God Save the Queen: Banned; +628|6648|tropical regions of london

I played a lot of BF2 when i got out. Although, I dont think feeling like a stranger will stop after a couple of months.

he's gonna end up doing the reserves, watch.

Last edited by God Save the Queen (2008-10-31 09:23:18)

2008-10-31 09:23:59

#14

usmarine: Banned; +2,785|7066

Schwarzelungen wrote:
usmarine wrote:
some people just dont like to go out. at least force him to play a non homo game. tell him communists love that game.
he loves going out.
he is *was?* the typical alpha male party guy until about 2 weeks ago.

dropped some classes and stopped doing much of anything besides "omg raid! LOL"

im kicking him in the nuts and turning off his computer tonight....its freakin halloween

well, maybe he doesnt want to be in school. to go from something intense to fairly lame and laid back is rough.

2008-10-31 09:26:44

#15

Schwarzelungen: drunklenglungen; +133|6601|Bloomington Indiana

usmarine wrote:
Schwarzelungen wrote:
usmarine wrote:
some people just dont like to go out. at least force him to play a non homo game. tell him communists love that game.
he loves going out.
he is *was?* the typical alpha male party guy until about 2 weeks ago.

dropped some classes and stopped doing much of anything besides "omg raid! LOL"

im kicking him in the nuts and turning off his computer tonight....its freakin halloween
well, maybe he doesnt want to be in school. to go from something intense to fairly lame and laid back is rough.

that what we're thinking. after getting out of the reg. army he went into the guard...
im pretty sure youre right, school would be a boring transition

2008-10-31 09:31:03

#16

rdx-fx: ...; +955|6896

SgtHeihn wrote:
I am still having problems adjusting 2 1/2 years later. Only people I really connect with is guys in the/former military.
Get him off fucking WOW.

Edit: Get some recordings of AK-47 and RPG fire and blare it. That will get him off WOW and out of his room.

I still don't have any close friends that aren't prior service of some branch (with one exception)

Not intentional. Just works out that way. And I've been out for 8 years now.

p.s. do NOT do the AK-47/RPG recordings idea, unless you want your nose broken. It probably won't make him go all "crazy movie stereotype veteran", but it would be likely seen as you being an asshole.

2008-10-31 09:35:39

#17

Schwarzelungen: drunklenglungen; +133|6601|Bloomington Indiana

rdx-fx wrote:
SgtHeihn wrote:
I am still having problems adjusting 2 1/2 years later. Only people I really connect with is guys in the/former military.
Get him off fucking WOW.

Edit: Get some recordings of AK-47 and RPG fire and blare it. That will get him off WOW and out of his room.
I still don't have any close friends that aren't prior service of some branch (with one exception)

Not intentional. Just works out that way. And I've been out for 8 years now.

p.s. do NOT do the AK-47/RPG recordings idea, unless you want your nose broken. It probably won't make him go all "crazy movie stereotype veteran", but it would be likely seen as you being an asshole.

ha, i would never consider that. ive just been there to listen when he needs to talk mostly, not sure if theres any way i can be more proactive.

i understand adjusting will take some time, but he's really not a stranger to where he is now. when he was stationed at ft. knox he'd spend weekends on my couch and we'd run up enormous bar tabs and make girls cry.
im pretty sure marine got it right, schools just lame for him...im wouldnt doubt that he's going to go back to active before the end of the year

2008-10-31 09:42:34

#18

rdx-fx: ...; +955|6896

usmarine wrote:
well, maybe he doesnt want to be in school. to go from something intense to fairly lame and laid back is rough.

QFT

Classroom discussions can get .. interesting. Delay any Sociology classes until a year or two after you get back. Sociology teachers tend to have the strangest, most warped world-view of any person on the planet that's still capable of wiping their own ass.

This is the diamterically opposed opposite of a typical veteran's world-view.

tip: the answer to abovementioned teacher's question along the lines of "why can't we all just get along. It's not fair".. is not "because you're an idiot"

2008-10-31 09:46:38

#19

jord: Member; +2,382|6983|The North, beyond the wall.

Tell him to take up paintball.

No seriously...

Joking, unistall WoW or ask in tech section of how to make it fuck up, and then he'll join in the fun.

2008-10-31 09:47:14

#20

SgtHeihn: Should have ducked; +394|6792|Ham Lake, MN (Fucking Cold)

rdx-fx wrote:
SgtHeihn wrote:
I am still having problems adjusting 2 1/2 years later. Only people I really connect with is guys in the/former military.
Get him off fucking WOW.

Edit: Get some recordings of AK-47 and RPG fire and blare it. That will get him off WOW and out of his room.
I still don't have any close friends that aren't prior service of some branch (with one exception)

Not intentional. Just works out that way. And I've been out for 8 years now.

p.s. do NOT do the AK-47/RPG recordings idea, unless you want your nose broken. It probably won't make him go all "crazy movie stereotype veteran", but it would be likely seen as you being an asshole.

Shhh! I thought it would be funny!

2008-10-31 10:16:20

#21

Mekstizzle: WALKER; +3,611|6926|London, England

God Save the Queen wrote:
hey, at least the dude has a girlfriend.

Yeah, and I'm just wondering what she's getting out of this to stick with him. That or he just got lucky and has a girl that will actually stick by him

Also, it seems more like a WoW problem...it seems like even war veterans get sucked into it's homo faggotry

2008-10-31 10:17:55

#22

Schwarzelungen: drunklenglungen; +133|6601|Bloomington Indiana

Mek-Stizzle wrote:
God Save the Queen wrote:
hey, at least the dude has a girlfriend.
Yeah, and I'm just wondering what she's getting out of this to stick with him. That or he just got lucky and has a girl that will actually stick by him

Also, it seems more like a WoW problem...it seems like even war veterans get sucked into it's homo faggotry

they've been dating since last summer when he used to come up from ft. knox.
she's just hoping it blows over soon, as she told me she's probably gonna leave it if continues.

2008-10-31 10:18:50

#23

usmarine: Banned; +2,785|7066

Schwarzelungen wrote:
Mek-Stizzle wrote:
God Save the Queen wrote:
hey, at least the dude has a girlfriend.
Yeah, and I'm just wondering what she's getting out of this to stick with him. That or he just got lucky and has a girl that will actually stick by him

Also, it seems more like a WoW problem...it seems like even war veterans get sucked into it's homo faggotry
they've been dating since last summer when he used to come up from ft. knox.
she's just hoping it blows over soon, as she told me she's probably gonna leave it if continues.

slip her the sausage if she does.....no dont. well, maybe.

2008-10-31 10:21:12

#24

S3v3N: lolwut?; +685|6823|Montucky

God Save the Queen wrote:
usmarine wrote:
some people just dont like to go out.
Im the same way. I rarely go out. Although, being around young, attractive, of age females in a classroom all day is great therapy.

Word.

I rarely go out aswell, but I don't play fucking WoW.

2008-10-31 10:26:11

#25

Schwarzelungen: drunklenglungen; +133|6601|Bloomington Indiana

usmarine wrote:
Schwarzelungen wrote:
Mek-Stizzle wrote:

Yeah, and I'm just wondering what she's getting out of this to stick with him. That or he just got lucky and has a girl that will actually stick by him

Also, it seems more like a WoW problem...it seems like even war veterans get sucked into it's homo faggotry
they've been dating since last summer when he used to come up from ft. knox.
she's just hoping it blows over soon, as she told me she's probably gonna leave it if continues.
slip her the sausage if she does.....no dont. well, maybe.

best idea ever
"we broke up"

"wanna talk about it"

*zip*

BF2S Forums Help with a veteran friend

usmarine wrote:

usmarine wrote:

God Save the Queen wrote:

usmarine wrote:

God Save the Queen wrote:

usmarine wrote:

usmarine wrote:

Schwarzelungen wrote:

usmarine wrote:

usmarine wrote:

Schwarzelungen wrote:

usmarine wrote:

SgtHeihn wrote:

rdx-fx wrote:

SgtHeihn wrote:

usmarine wrote:

rdx-fx wrote:

SgtHeihn wrote:

God Save the Queen wrote:

Mek-Stizzle wrote:

God Save the Queen wrote:

Schwarzelungen wrote:

Mek-Stizzle wrote:

God Save the Queen wrote:

God Save the Queen wrote:

usmarine wrote:

usmarine wrote:

Schwarzelungen wrote:

Mek-Stizzle wrote:

Board footer