BF2Craglyeye
Member
+72|6671|Australia
Going to stay at his place was the first warning sign. I would have been pissed off just for her saying that shit.

No one accidentally sleeps with anyone either.

Get rid of her... cant be trusted.
AWSMFOX
Banned
+405|6461|A W S M F O X
Its happened, shes sorry, whatever, if you truly love her it doesnt REALLY matter i guess, but that shit does fuck with your mind. Maybe go through everything and figure out if you want to let the relationship fail because of that one little mistake.
DrunkFace
Germans did 911
+427|6679|Disaster Free Zone

mikkel wrote:

Ditch the bitch.

Not only does she, completely sober and aware of the consequences, decide to fuck her ex-boyfriend, but she threatens to leave you when you go to do something about it?

You don't just "slip up" and fuck a someone if you're faithfully engaged in a relationship. It just does not happen unless you're horribly intoxicated.
Intoxication is no excuse.

Ubersturmbannfuhrer wrote:

Me: I´m gonna kill this sorry ass dickhead!!!
Wrong answer. He had no emotional tie to you (unless he was your friend), so can take non of the blame for her actions.

Ubersturmbannfuhrer wrote:

She: Listen, I´m spending the night in my old boyfriend's house!
Me: Hwat???
She: I had some arguing with my parents and didn´t wanna stay there, so I called him and asked if it is OK if I stay at his place. He is out drinking with his buddy and will come home tomorrow.
Me: Okay!!!!
Wrong answer. You should have said, "why not stay here".

I understand the whole cat thing, but staying the night.... That should have rung some bells, especially when she could have stayed at your place with the person she is supposably in love with. If she couldn't stay at your place for some unknown reason then obviously the relationship wasn't worth much to begin with so just move on.
Little BaBy JESUS
m8
+394|6147|'straya
Id say stay with her... see how things go... see if u can work shit out.

if it doesnt work u can always dump her later or go sleep with ur ex or something.
theknuck
It's pronounced Knuck, like in Knuckle!!
+45|6610|balls
i've never cheated, never will.  i'd probably be arrested and lose my job if my wife cheated on me.  so that is my opinion.  for someone that has already cheated and she cheated on you, then maybe it doesn't eat at you like it would if you've never cheated.  maybe you deserved it.  once a cheat, always.  if you ain't got trust, what do you got?  cuz the sex won't last forever my man.
[Jett-CC]-Megadeth_Fan
Teh Ultimate Lurker
+16|6572|Kansas City
sad thing about it if you decide to stay with her.....that will ALWAYS be in the back of your head and you will NEVER be able to 100% trust her again.
Mitch
16 more years
+877|6523|South Florida
I would have been the maddest that she would tell me not to hurt him, as if she cares about him enough to that she would LEAVE you if you were to approach him. THAT would piss me off more than anything else.
15 more years! 15 more years!
siciliano732
Member
+202|6647|New York

[Jett-CC]-Megadeth_Fan wrote:

sad thing about it if you decide to stay with her.....that will ALWAYS be in the back of your head and you will NEVER be able to 100% trust her again.
not true. yea you may never forget that it happened but you can and will trust again.  It is on her, not on him to regain that trust.  If she is willing to work for his trust again no matter what and understands it will not be easy...then it can be done.

I will tell you this...one of the best moves she made that night...was coming right after it happened and told him, to his face.  He did not hear it days, weeks, months, years down the road....and didnt hear it from anyone else....she did the right thing and realized she messed up, and came clean regardless of the outcome.

that deserves respect.  everyone messes up...EVERYONE.  She realized she screwed up, and came right to him...she didnt try to hide it...that alone will help the healing process and help rebuild the trust. 

trust me.

Mitch wrote:

I would have been the maddest that she would tell me not to hurt him, as if she cares about him enough to that she would LEAVE you if you were to approach him. THAT would piss me off more than anything else.
This is one thing i do not understand...my girlfriend is the same way.  They dont like seeing someone they care about in that way.  My gf doenst like seeing me furious and like a raging lunitic.  Maybe thats what she was trying to do...and also, who knows...if he is like me, i get to a point where i snap and i go nuts and start just beating the shit out of someone or something....that would lead to criminal charges and everything and who knows...maybe his gf was helping him avoid that.  Girls are hard to figure out, their brains, are very complex....its just the way it is.  Its better her and him talk about things and work things out in general.

One this must be done though...she cannot see him, nor go over there.  If her damn cats are there...then either she gives them to him or they go somewhere else.  There is no contact with that kid any longer.  That does need to be done and understood...and if that kid contacts her or what...she has to tell you (this she has to do on her own and by on her own i mean...her own free will).  This will also help the rebuilding of trust.

Last edited by siciliano732 (2008-03-04 10:30:40)

{HMS}_Sir_Del_Boy
Member
+69|6707|th3 unkn0wn

chittydog wrote:

blademaster wrote:

chittydog wrote:


Good call. There aren't any time restrictions.
But he likes her a lot though as he pointed out, since he likes her so much he is willing to forgive her and move on since mistakes happen to the best of us.
Sleeping with someone isn't a mistake. She went over there with bad intentions and acted on them. She didn't accidentally drive over there, then accidentally return his kiss, then accidentally take her clothes off, then accidentally ride him to orgasm. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

You're too good for her, Uber.
fadedsteve
GOP Sympathizer
+266|6488|Menlo Park, CA
There is no way to resurrect this buddy. . . . I am sorry to say.

There will be underlying trust issues throughout the rest of this relationship (primarily on your side cause she cheated).  Once you get violated like that by a woman there is no turning back! She obviously didnt love you enough TO BE SOBER, and fuck a drunk ex.  As the ole' cliche saying goes "there are PLENTY of fish in the sea".  Sounds to me this could be a very troubling, emotionally draining endeavor that isnt wise to continue.  Your just gonna be disappointed in the long run and hold resentments. 

The best thing you could do, and I know its gonna hurt cause you "love" this bitch, but best thing is to lose her number.  She is damaged goods and fully fucked you over! You sound like a good guy thats a family man, why the fuck do you need a cheating bitch fucking up your emotions and your life?? YOU DONT!  Its not gonna be easy, fun, short term etc.  Its gonna take awhile to get over her, but its honestly the best thing you can do at this point.
.Sup
be nice
+2,646|6451|The Twilight Zone

DrunkFace wrote:

mikkel wrote:

Ditch the bitch.

Not only does she, completely sober and aware of the consequences, decide to fuck her ex-boyfriend, but she threatens to leave you when you go to do something about it?

You don't just "slip up" and fuck a someone if you're faithfully engaged in a relationship. It just does not happen unless you're horribly intoxicated.
Intoxication is no excuse.

Ubersturmbannfuhrer wrote:

Me: I´m gonna kill this sorry ass dickhead!!!
Wrong answer. He had no emotional tie to you (unless he was your friend), so can take non of the blame for her actions.

Ubersturmbannfuhrer wrote:

She: Listen, I´m spending the night in my old boyfriend's house!
Me: Hwat???
She: I had some arguing with my parents and didn´t wanna stay there, so I called him and asked if it is OK if I stay at his place. He is out drinking with his buddy and will come home tomorrow.
Me: Okay!!!!
Wrong answer. You should have said, "why not stay here".

I understand the whole cat thing, but staying the night.... That should have rung some bells, especially when she could have stayed at your place with the person she is supposably in love with. If she couldn't stay at your place for some unknown reason then obviously the relationship wasn't worth much to begin with so just move on.
I agree with Drunk Face in all three responds. I was "dead drunk" several times and i could still make fairly good decisions. Intoxication really is no excuse.
I feel your anger towards her ex but she had a choice! Its not like she was raped. She could have said No but it seems she's still tied to her ex.
And sleeping over at her ex's? Well i personally could never have let that happen. It just arrases too many suspicions.

BUT you decided to try and solve this relations with her and I RESPECT your decision! As you said if you both try THIS COULD BE SOLVED !
But you will still have to live with this. You will need to monitor her more, make better decisions next time when shes asks to sleep over at "unusual" locations.
Family is usually the best thing that makes people decide to stay together. This could never be really forgotten but you CAN live with it.

Last edited by .Sup (2008-03-04 13:45:13)

https://www.shrani.si/f/3H/7h/45GTw71U/untitled-1.png
[Jett-CC]-Megadeth_Fan
Teh Ultimate Lurker
+16|6572|Kansas City
what did you decide to do?
xRBLx
I've got lovely bunch of coconuts!!
+27|6353|England - Kent
Pan it out for a little while if you still truly care about her than stick with her on you're terms like no more seeing the ex.
I personly let a little go but when me ex did the same sort of thing i sent her packing, i dont regret my choice but i do miss what we had some times but the trust wasnt there any more.
tbh it seem this is one you need to ask you're self can you trust her again?
Darkhelmet
cereal killer
+233|6749|the middle of nowhere

[Jett-CC]-Megadeth_Fan wrote:

what did you decide to do?
The suspense is gripping.
lowing
Banned
+1,662|6649|USA

Ubersturmbannfuhrer wrote:

Ok, here is a pretty fucking sad story about a sad guy, but I wanna share it with you guys and hear your opinions.
Many will probably think I´m a loser after reading this, but fuck that, I wanna tell you how it can go after filling a fantasy.

You might remember the thread about my child, well, my relationship with that girl ended after my burnout last year in October.
I was feeling very down at that time but something happened  a month later.

I had known this special girl since 2002 and we got along great.( I´m godfather to her sisters child and through her I got to know this special girl.)
We had feelings for each other already in 2003 and we almost started to date back then because of her lousy relationship with her boyfriend. But it got better and they continued and so did I with my life. I met another GF (my sons mother) and we dated until last October as said before...

Anyway, in November we met in a bar and started to talk and I said that I still had feelings for her, and she said that she felt the same way for me.
She had now dated with her boyfriend in 6 years and everything had fall ed apart. We started to meet drinking coffee and talking and noticed that we come along great! So she dumped her boyfriend and later on we silently started to date, 22.12.
We really have enjoyed everyday, we have the same humor, we do the same things and conversations worked well and teh seks was super.
The only problem was that she felt bad for leaving her old boyfriend every now and then, she almost freaked out and said that she can´t be with me etc, but after a couple of hours everything was fine again...

So, everything was getting better, and in February we were doing super, there was nothing wrong, everything seemed excellent.
We spend all our free time together, watching movies, going out, seeing people, making love and had rough seks all the times just like new pairs usually do... She said that this is what she had dreamt of, that this was her fantasy and I agreed, this was what I had wanted for so long...

On Saturday evening I got my both kids over to my place. She said that she would spend the night at hers because she needed sleep wich was true. And kiddies rising at 6.00 AM isn´t what you need right then. When she left she kissed me for 3 minutes and hoped for the next they to come so that we could see each other again. So did I.

So far this story has been only sunshine and lollipops, but now comes the part that I wish could be made undone more than the Birth of A. Hitler.

Later that evening she called me:

Me:Hi Honey!
She: Hi, how are you
Me:Missing you, blablahblah
She: Listen, I´m spending the night in my old boyfriend's house!
Me: Hwat???
She: I had some arguing with my parents and didn´t wanna stay there, so I called him and asked if it is OK if I stay at his place. He is out drinking with his buddy and will come home tomorrow.
Me: Okay!!!!   (Fact is that she used to go there three times a week to feed her cats that she left at his place, she cannot keep them where she lives now. This is something that has been going on since they broke up and it worked fine, they just talked a bit or he wasn´t at home.
I never saw a problem with it cause they had separated and had nothing in common anymore.)
She: I´ll call you later before I´ll go to bed and we´ll talk more then!!!
Me: Okay, buh-bye!

She called me again on the evening about 10:00 PM

She said that it was so quiet there and she was thinking of coming back to my place.
I said that "Come, I´ll take care of the kids in the morning and you can sleep as long as you want..."
But then she said that she was too tired to drive so she decided to go to bed.
We wished each other goodnight and then she went to bed, I went choppering in Oman.
I went to sleep at 2.00 AM and the kids woke me up at 7.00..
At 12.00 she called and asked how I had it with the kids and if everything was all right.
She said that she would start driving to my place after a cigarette.

When she came here she sat down at the kitchen table and started to read some ads and her hands were shaking.

Me: What´s wrong, why are you shaking???
She: Let´s talk about it later, we are getting a friend of mine here in 10 minutes.
Me: I wanna know now now what´s wrong? Did he come home, did you fight???
She: He came home last night 4:00 PM, he was really drunk..
Me:WHAT HAPPENED???
She: I made a BIG mistake!!!
Me: What??? How big???
She: He came home, he came and laid down on my bed, then he started to make approaches, and suddenly we had sex..
Me: I´m gonna kill this sorry ass dickhead!!!

I picked up my shit and was putting my shoes on when she came and grabbed me and cried" No, don´t hurt him, It´s not just his fault, I could have rejected, but somehow I didn´t. If you do anything to him you lose me forever!!!"
"Ok, but I wanna hear everything about this and let´s see what we do.

So she explained the whole story. She regretted it so much and wished that she never would have spend the night there in the first place.
She didn´t expected him to come there and the whole sex thing had no point, she doesn´t love him anymore and she knows that there will never be anything between them. So there was no point. But she said that it must have been the old feelings that lead the situation to intercourse...

I forgave her, yap, that´s right. Because I love her more than anything and I am ready to do anything to get this working again.
It hurts so fucking much to know that that cocksucker banged her but I´m not a better person myself. I have done the exact same thing twice earlier in my life. Hell, probably many of you have!

But she has a hard time right now to forgive herself for what she did, and perhaps I´m fucking glad that she does that.
I mean, one doesn´t take ex-boyfriend cock while in a relationship. But I hope that she will forgive herself and continue the relationship with me. That is something I wish for more than anything right now.

After the conversation she grabbed her stuff and left. She is now at her place sorting her shit out. She said that she will tell me when she knows if she can continue this. She wants to, but the fact that she has to live with the "night at Jussi´s" the rest of our relationship could be hard for her.
I just hope that she gets over it but never does anything like that again....

So, What is your opinion?

Do I do the right thing trying to get this working because what we have is really special?  (Now even more )
If it was just a mistake then I think that I can let it go, it will always be there, but it doesn´t have to make any harm.
And somehow I understand her, because I have done the same thing.
It feels Ok at the time, but immediately after you get angst.... It just happens.
If I would have been in the same situation I think I would have made the same thing, or maybe not? can´t say.

Or should i just do the "Ditch The Bitch" and regret it the rest of my life that I let the girl that had been my fantasy for a so long time go just for a mistake???

I fucking don´t know????

Have you had any kind of relative experiences, and if, what did you do???


Thanks for listening once again!!!

-Uber
I bet ya can't wait until you start dating women and leave this high school/college dorm, Micky Mouse bullshit behind. I saw what was coming as soon as I read that she was gunna stay at her old boyfriends house. Move on,
Ubersturmbannfuhrer
I am a fucking homosexual
+211|6604|Parainen, Finland

Darkhelmet wrote:

[Jett-CC]-Megadeth_Fan wrote:

what did you decide to do?
The suspense is gripping.
Well, this is what happened.

We talked on the phone every day during that week and the conversation always went in the same pattern.
First we talked about what had happened during that day, then how much we missed each other, and after that she cried and apologized for what she had done. Then we talked about the subject for a while, wished each other goodnight etc...

On Friday we decided to go on a date, I decided to take her out to eat.
We had a lovely evening, romance was in the air, we had fun, talked about everything, held hands and just looked each other in the eyes..
The whole evening was like from some kind of romantic movie, we laughed about it later.
After that we went over to her place, lit over 100 of small candles around her room and lied there on her sofa just holding tight on to each other...
After 2 hours I wished her goodnight and went home. The evening was more than perfect.
And what had happened one week earlier hadn´t bothered our evening at all.

On Saturday we went out drinking. DonFck came over to say hi and to try my new helicopters. After he left we went out to have more booze in the bars.
The whole evening went fine, but at 3:00 i was so wasted I decided to go home. She said that she would have a couple of drinks with her friends and then come to my place.

I woke up 9:00 and noticed that I was alone in the bed. Shit!!! I thought. I had fall asleep immediately after coming home and she didn´t have the key.... I had lots of missed calls from her so I called her up immediately. She was in the house next to mine at her friends place. She had been awake and gave her shelter... She was a bit pissed first but it didn´t last for long...
She came over after the phone call and we spend the whole day in bed.
I was first afraid that the sex wouldn´t be the same after what happened and that was true. It was better!!!
So now we have spend the time together again except the time we work off course...

We are taking one day at a time and we are not casting any haste on us. Neither of us knows if it is supposed to be like this, but right now it feels great for both of us. And if it continues like this I don´t mind spending my time with her....

So, this is my update, what do you guys think?
Did I do the right choice? Somehow I think I did...
But as said...cheat on me once, shame on you...cheat on me twice, shame on me...
too_money2007
Member
+145|6306|Keller, Tx
Honestly, break up with her. I could never stay with someone that cheted on me. I still even think about my wife having sex with other guys before we met, who just happen to be my friends. Obviously I don't hold it against her, as I never knew her then, but if it happened now, I'd take my son and divorce her (which would never happen). But, back to the point. You shouldn't stay with someone that could, at any time, just have sex with someone like this. Sure, maybe it was the situation, maybe he raped her (that's different), but if she says she had sex and it wasn't against her will, get rid of her and all the heartbreak your setting yourself up for.
{HMS}_Sir_Del_Boy
Member
+69|6707|th3 unkn0wn

too_money2007 wrote:

Honestly, break up with her. I could never stay with someone that cheted on me. I still even think about my wife having sex with other guys before we met, who just happen to be my friends. Obviously I don't hold it against her, as I never knew her then, but if it happened now, I'd take my son and divorce her (which would never happen). But, back to the point. You shouldn't stay with someone that could, at any time, just have sex with someone like this. Sure, maybe it was the situation, maybe he raped her (that's different), but if she says she had sex and it wasn't against her will, get rid of her and all the heartbreak your setting yourself up for.
Wot you've said makes sense, and it must be very difficult for you, but then again Ubersturm's one of those guys who doesn't mind sloppy seconds, so let him be cos from wot's been said, he appears to have made a decision that he's happy with

Last edited by {HMS}_Sir_Del_Boy (2008-03-11 11:57:05)

Marinejuana
local
+415|6583|Seattle
hmm, just feel it out. maybe shes a filthy whore, or maybe she just made a mistake. you obviously still care about her, so id say give her another chance. if things keep going downhill, then when the time comes to break up u wont be second guessing your decision and u can just move on.
SEREMAKER
BABYMAKIN EXPERT √
+2,187|6566|Mountains of NC

a gently kiss on the check might work






























https://i178.photobucket.com/albums/w253/SEREMAKER/6sji6bc.gif
https://static.bf2s.com/files/user/17445/carhartt.jpg
MAGUIRE93
High Angle Hell
+182|6192|Schofield Barracks
i have ADD so i read the first paragraph and stoped.
{HMS}_Sir_Del_Boy
Member
+69|6707|th3 unkn0wn

SEREMAKER wrote:

a gently kiss on the check might work

http://i178.photobucket.com/albums/w253 … sji6bc.gif
Mate, that's gross. I don't want to visit this forum while having me dinner only to then see a gif of you snogging your g/f

Last edited by {HMS}_Sir_Del_Boy (2008-03-11 15:40:02)

.Sup
be nice
+2,646|6451|The Twilight Zone
You are together, having fun, i think case closed. But from now on rethink "i'm gonna sleep over at a friends house" situation before agreeing with her. Good luck in the future with her!
https://www.shrani.si/f/3H/7h/45GTw71U/untitled-1.png
jamiecracker
Member
+17|6745|Wollongong,Australia
good luck with it mate i hope you happiness continues...but dont jump in with both feet just yet...see what is going to happen
13rin
Member
+977|6477

Ubersturmbannfuhrer wrote:

She was in the house next to mine at her friends place. She had been awake and gave her shelter..
So she's sleeping with chicks now?  ALL IS FORGIVEN!!!
I stood in line for four hours. They better give me a Wal-Mart gift card, or something.  - Rodney Booker, Job Fair attendee.

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