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Mek-Izzle wrote:

what the fuck is RB

Rock Band

HurricaИe wrote:

I was at a Best Buy where they had this Rock Band demo station set up (I use this term loosely, it looked like an explosion blew up the instruments). I was playing Pleasure when I failed the solo because I couldn't strum, I let this little kid who was waiting to play go.

The kid played on Medium, and he was disgustingly bad. I know I'm a nerd and all but even for a kid his age he sucked flat out. He failed Sabotage and picked another song, I thought it was okay because he played for a good ten seconds. The kid fails another song, then I expect to play but the little shit decided to pick a third song, then his older brother and father show up.

His brother picked Drums on Hard and looked like a gorilla destroying a car. He destroyed the already destroyed drum set, and kicked the snapped drum pedal hard enough to somehow make it register (what was funny was that he didn't even realize it was broken). The two playing failed again and I expect their father to be considerate and tell them to get off. The father looks me up and down with a disgusted look to him and says "are you guys going to play another song?" The mother fuckerer challenged me. When they picked their next song (I Think I'm Paranoid) I walked behind the kid playing the song, ripped the guitar out of his hands and looked directly at the father, stating "it's my turn." The father yelled at me "YOU CAN'T DO THAT." I replied "watch me" as I took the older brother's head and smashing it against the drums as I played along with the song. The dad grabbed my father and I said "big mistake" as I got behind him and put him into an arm lock. I felt good after beating the two little kids, so I let the father off easy and put him to sleep. The little brother punched me on the back a few times, ineffective against my steel lats. I picked him up and threw him into a stack of 360's, his neck snapped backwards, killing him instantly. The older brother got in a fighting stance, I grabbed him by the face and shoved him into a wall. Whilst gripping his face I kneed him in the gut enough times to make him puke all over the floor, while he was on all fours I through the drums set on him.

The store employees forced me out of the store and my mom got scared
And said youre moving with your aunte and uncle in bel-air

I begged and pleaded with her the other day
But she packed my suitcase and sent me on my way
She gave me a kissin and she gave me my ticket
I put my walkman on and said I might aswell kick it

First class, yo this is bad,
Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass
Is this what the people of bel-air livin like,
Hmm this might be alright!

I whistled for a cab and when it came near the
Licensplate said fresh and had a dice in the mirror
If anything I could say that this cab was rare
But I thought now forget it, yo home to bel-air

I pulled up to a house about seven or eight
And I yelled to the cabby yo, home smell you later
Looked at my kingdom I was finally there
To settle my throne as the prince of bel-air

(yes that was copypasta, fuck you)

fixxed

HurricaИe wrote:

Mek-Izzle wrote:

what the fuck is RB

Rock Band

ok

I don't care if it was a copypasta. You need to learn that if something sucks, then re-locate to an area that doesn't

So, one of your hands is now full of puke, huh?

Mek-Izzle wrote:

what the fuck is RB

http://www.rockband.com/

Mek-Izzle wrote:

HurricaИe wrote:

Mek-Izzle wrote:

ok

I don't care if it was a copypasta. You need to learn that if something sucks, then re-locate to an area that doesn't

wat

You heard me. Stop starting fights for no reason u chav

no u stop picking fights you chav

HurricaИe wrote:

I picked him up and threw him into a stack of 360's

atleast the 360´s must already have been broken before the episode happened.


only joking

no you didnt. lol

gene_pool wrote:

Des.Kmal wrote:

no you didnt. lol

Watch out guys, this is a quick one.

Because he's stoned 24/7.

Simon wrote:

2/10 copypasta.. I expected better

I'm lying naked on a beach on some deserted island. The sun is beating down on me, warming my breasts and stomach. My ass is cradled in the warm sand. Sweat runs down my thighs and into my crotch teasing me, making me think of sex, sex in the abstract.

Right now, I don't want the bother of finding a man, dealing with his emotions, I just want those wonderful sensations, the weight on top of me, a warm tongue slurping up my cunt juices, hands on my breast, a warm cock sliding in and out of me. I need a good simple fuck. Oooh, my fingers must have gotten me too excited because I can feel myself coming again, my ass bucking up and down on the beach, the depths of my cunt pulsing with pleasure!

There's a noise out over the water. It's a dolphin chattering away flipping its nose at me. Dolphins are such sensitive, sensual creatures. They pick up on emotions easily because of their intelligence. Their bodies are warm and just the right width to put your legs around as they swim bumping along. How embarrassing! The animal has probably caught onto my state and knows how much I lust!

Well, there's no harm in playing around with it. Who's to know? No fear of pregnancy, it sure would be good to feel the sperm shooting up inside of me, filling me to overflowing without having to worry about getting knocked up. Oooh, I bet they've got long, beautiful, uncircumcized cocks which they skillfully use on female dolphins, thrashing and cumming in the warm water! Why not give it a try?

I get in the water, it's just below body temperature. The salt bouys me up. I yell at the dolphin, "hey get over here sexy" and he sees me waving. I'm treading water as he swims over, bumps my knees apart with his nose. He playfully bumps up and down as he swims through my legs. My puss slaps against his strong, sleek body. Unnhnh, he's got me hot.

The dolphin swims backwards with powerful strokes that lift his body out of the water. Is that his cute dick peeping its red head out? I sure hope he gets a hard on. I'm going to need it if he keeps on like this. He swims along behind me, bopping me in the ass with his head. I slide over his body, my feet getting caught by his front fins as he swims along. The warm water shoots over my legs and under my cunt as we zip along.

He surfaces and whaddya know, his blow hole is right under my clit! It tickles as he breathes water and air out and then sucks air in. He dips down, takes in some water and shoots it at my clit again. I rub my pussy along his smooth back, I'm sooo horny, his breath on my clit, it's, oh it's making me cummmm! I'm out of control! I'm spasming up and down as he's teasing me!

He ducks under the water and starts lapping my pussy with his big strong tongue, poking at me with his long nose. Oh, he's got me in a state of perpetual cum! My cunt is so wet and swollen, I could take him no problem. He swims backwards away and, as he gets halfway out of the water, his big 8" dick pops, pink above the surface of the water. "Ohhh, I must have it, give it to me!", I yell at him.

He swims upside down under me popping up so he's facing me. The animal is panting and has that big dolphin smiley grin. He must know what's coming next too. I can feel his big cock resting between my ass cheeks and along my cunt. I slide along his smooth cock, my arms around his strong body as he keeps upright with powerful underwater slaps of his tail. I reach down and feel the bulb tip of it, guide it up into me, to fill me up.

He slides strong into me and the feeling of his cock bucking around inside me brings me to the brink of a cum. I hold off as long as I can, sliding up and down his beautiful dick. His eyes bug out, a gutteral chattering sound comes from his throat, a high pitched squeal, then I feel his cock throbbing. He shoots gallons of cum into me and the feeling pushes me over the brink, into a thrilling pulsing cum!

The dolphin and I disentangled as his cock shrunk and slipped out of me. He nuzzled his nose into my breasts, rubbed against me for a while (I probably would have sunk from exhaustion if he hadn't held me up), then he swam away. He left me warm and satisfied with his wonderful dolphin cum dribbling out of my cunt. I'll take a dolphin any time I can get one!

Simon wrote:

2/10 copypasta.. I expected better

As a geek/nerd/freak, 3 things are certain:

1) You are a virgin.

2) You have no freinds, let alone a girlfreind. Part of this could be the fact that you live with your parents and never leave the house except to go to school.

3) You own a hamster or some other pet, because the feeling that another life form depends on you is the only thing that gives your life any real value.

If this is you, and you own a FEMALE hamster, read on.

BTW we are talking about the 'normal' hamster, aka the syrian or golden hamsters. In petsmart they are sold as 'short haired' or long haired hamsters. If you wanna try this with dwarf hamsters, then you are really and truly phucked in the head.

Beneath the surface, a hamster appears to be a random and stupid animal. It's movements are unpredictable, without purpose, and it runs around for ages on a wheel without realizing it hasnt actually gone anywhere. But I've owned about 30 hamsters in my time, and as I studied them, I realized that they are facinating creatures. Their randomness comes from the fact that animals live for the moment- they do not sit there and contemplate what-if's as we humans do. They also share the intelligence of a cat, appearing cute and cuddly until you feed them, after which they will have nothing to do with you. All this, combined with many lonely nights, can give a man a newfound appreciation for a female hamster...

Most of us typically buy hamsters as youngins from a pet store. A young hamster typically has a small set of instincts that it is born with, and the rest of its behaviors will have to be learned. For instance, a hamster does not understand the instict of 'falling' because they are not born with it. Therefore it will often have to take several falls before it learns that falling = pain. But another more interesting instinct that I found a hamster lacks from birth is the instinct to select a mate of the same specifies...

Every 3-5 days, the female hamster will come into season. By that what I mean is if she was out in the wild, she would be looking for a mate to do the nasty with. What I have found is that if you raise your hamster from when its a baby, they will believe that you are capable of mating with them until repeated experience/wisdom of age shows them that this is not so. If you have owned more than one female hamster, you will first be alerted to this 'mating period' when your hamster is several weeks old. You can ALWAYS know your hamster is sexually charged because it will be more hyperactive than usual, and its VAGINA will emit a NASTY scent, akin to the foulest smelling urine your nose has the displeasure to come across. However, if your hamster is still young, you will see this additional behavior. While stroking your hamster as normal, as you approach its tail, it will assume a mating position: it will lie very still on all fours, with its tail raised in the air and its gentials exposed to you- think a human female in the doggy style position. This is your hamster displaying the same behavior it would to a male hamster if it was ready to mate. Now, the hamster will try this behavior with you on several occasions, and if you do not respond to it, it will learn that you will not mate with it, and you will never be offered this chance again. You will NOT be able to seduce it into displaying this behavior once it has learned the facts of life! However, if you do respond, your hamster will continue to present its genitals to you as often as it comes into season.

Needless to say, you will not be sticking your dick into the hamster. DO NOT INSERT ANYTHING INTO YOUR HAMSTERS ORIFICES, you will cause it a lot of harm. Here is how you will simulate the mating process. 1) Get a water balloon, and fill it up with *very little* water so that it produces a balloon with a big long 'tittie' on the bottom. Next, lubricate this 'tit' with water, and your ready. Place one hand on the hind of your hamster, and with your free hand, take the balloon and proceed to rub the tit against her clit. Do it gently, and repeat for about 2-3 mins. Make sure it is well lubricated, and if you need more lubrication rub it against her water bottle to get new water on it. As you masterbate your hamster, you will find it emmiting a scent soo foul, soo nasty, that you will probably gag if you have never experienced it before. You will also see some thick milky white discharge coming from its VAGINA. Unbelievable, I found this act and the smell (maybe something to do with pheramones) produces an erection in me, and so one day I decided that I should have some fun too. While you masterbate your hamster, rub your cock against the ground, or use your other hand to jerk off as you normally would. The result will be a bonding experience with your pet that you will never forget. Female hamsters are incredibly horny and will present to you as often as you stick your hand in their cage while they are fertile, so I would advise you not to handle them during this period- or your hands will REAK like you'll never forget.

A pleasent result of this is that your hamster, having believed that it was mated with, will have a more pleasent disposition, whereas females who are not mated tend to be moody and quick to bite the hand that feeds them as they go through the hamster equivalent of PMS. But again, the primary purpose of this is to give your pet the loving that every woman should recieve at one point in her life- any sexual gratification that YOU recieve in this process is merely a side effect, and a telltale sign that you need to get out more.

Wow spam.

Stop being idiots, kthx.