On a serious note, its interesting to read this...
On a serious note, its interesting to read this...
Pull and Pray. Always worked for me.LT.Victim wrote:
I'm not stupid, and neither is she.. I'm always uh.. "prepared" if you know what I mean..Zimmer wrote:
Ooops.tthf wrote:
now LT aint never gonna get laid...
@ Lindsey and LT. Just be safe and this shouldn't happen ( what I just said there is a true story ).
I would never even think about having sex without a condom, and if the thing broke or fell off I would go get the day after pill like immediately.. You don't want to mess around with this kinda shit. I'm not a dumbass like m4s3rchi3f over there. If you can't have sex responsibly, then you probably should even be doing it at all.
My friend and his GF had to get the day after pill like 3 times in a week.. Twice the condom broke, and then the other time he used too much lube and the condom fell off.... They almost shat bricks.
The only possible explanation,.. LMFAOLT.Victim wrote:
Dunno how that can happen though unless he put the lube on the inside of the condom..
there is too much lube in the air here....
hilarious stuff, Ryan, that's fur sure...
hilarious stuff, Ryan, that's fur sure...
I quite agree, hilarious. how the (insert your favourite expletive here) can you use lube to get a condom off unless you put the lube inside?
that's what I wondered when I first read that. Quite strange to me. Your friend must be a weirdo one.samfink wrote:
I quite agree, hilarious. how the (insert your favourite expletive here) can you use lube to get a condom off unless you put the lube inside?
You have these African tribes or so, that invert their member as part of some initiation ritual. If your friend did that, perhaps it would explain the condom slipping off, while he had initially applied the lube on the outside.Enzzenmachine wrote:
that's what I wondered when I first read that. Quite strange to me. Your friend must be a weirdo one.samfink wrote:
I quite agree, hilarious. how the (insert your favourite expletive here) can you use lube to get a condom off unless you put the lube inside?
Question remains why he would partake in some sicko African jungle custom not even Bruce Parry dared to engage in,..
Just a little short story...
Wednesday night, she went downtown with one of her classes to see some Dance Act..
While she was on the bus she and one of her and my good friend, who is a girl I might add.. I dunno, just think thats kinda important that thats known.. They started texting me.. The first one was like.. Hey.. and then it was like "Sexytime?".. I knew at that point that her friend stole her phone, or was texting it with her to see my response.. I knew they were kidding and said very funny and I told Lindsey that she left her MSN on, and I'm like.. "You dumb fucking Idoit".. Its what her mom says, not like harshly or meaninful, just joking around with her when she does something dumb.. Her moms awesome, don't get the wrong Idea.. anyways.. My friend texts me and is like.. Why are you so mean? I'm like, what, to who? She said "To Linds, you dumb fuck".. I'm like, "Oh sorry, It was just an Inside joke.." Shes like.. "oh well she took it personally, her and her mom get into a big fight before she left.." "You made her cry"... I'm like... fucckkkk.. so I call her just to make sure it isn't true.. Turns out it wasn't, but I was still worried.. but at least they had a good laugh, at my expense though.. Assholes..
So then today, she told me that she couldn't hang out for once because shes got two finals tomorrow that she has to study for... Thats fine, I understand, I'll just cya tomorrow.. but then after work.. (I work at a restuarant.. No.. not a job flipping burgers at McDonalds.. A real kitchen where we actually cook stuff that is considered food.. White Spot for anyone whos ever been to BC/AB, Canada..) I'm like.. "I has grill chez, you wants it?" And yes, thats actually the exact words.. Her ex-boyfriend got her into the Lolcat speak.. and since I spend probably too much time on the internet myself, it just fits.. Grilled cheese is like her favorite food, she could probably live off it.. She says yes, so I respond saying "mmk".. So I make it, I also make a Milkshake for her.. I'm like driving to her house, and I'm like.. oh shit I forgot a straw, so I turn back, and get one.. I start driving back to her house.. I'm almost there, and she sends me a text saying "?? ??" as in what the fuck is taking you soo long.. So to get payback on her for the day before.. I'm like.. "I was just kidding.. lol" so shes like "fuck, you got me all excited for nothing".. So I get near her house, I turn off my lights, park a few houses down the street, get out, grab the goods and walk myself up to her driveway.. At this point, I can tell shes in her room because her lights are on and stuff. So I text her saying "look out your window"... She bolts to the window and looks out, and sees me holding her Grilled Cheese and a Milkshake.. lol.. So she comes to the door, I give her the food, hug her and then shes like.. You want to come in?
I was gonna say no, cause I knew she was studying, but she did ask me to, so I came in.. So I just talked with her and her mom for a little while, small talk really.. Her mom.. oh god.. I love her, shes awesome.. There was a Hair Elastic band.. and her dad was like, is this yours Lindsey, and her moms like, thats not her, Lindsey doens't like the skinny ones.. Me and Lindsey Laugh.. and then her mom says "She likes the thick ones"... In which all three of us laugh, her dad is just kinda clueless.. I'm like.. no way, her mom just cracked a sexual joke.. lmao..
But ya.. anyways.. after a hour or so there, I say I'm going home, so that she can go back and study..
After I left, She started Texting me.. even though she should have been studying... She told me how she got really excited like looking out the window to see if I was there every minute or so.. and that she didn't really care about the food, more so that she got to see me.. Which is a good sign I guess...
Tomorrows Friday.. well its friday now really, so I should probably get some sleep as I have school in the morning.. She works at 5PM, and I'm going to some Motorcycle show with my dad while shes at work.. So I'll probably see her after she gets off work.. We'll see how that goes...
And then Saturday night.. Shes having her Birthday Party.. its the only time she could book this Karoke place even though her B-day was like 2 weeks ago.. Her "ex" or whatever.. It feels weird saying that, cause I'm so use to saying "BF'... Ya.. anyways.. hes coming to her party too.. so its going to be interesting none the less..
I still have no idea what to get her, I thought I did.. but without going into details, the place I tried to go, didn't have what I was looking for.. Like, there is actually nothing this girl needs, she has like everything.. I sat down with my sister and mom and discussed what I could get her, and every single Idea they could come up with.. she already has it.. I told Lindsey this and she told me not to get her anything, but I want to.. I would get her Jewerly or something like that, but I don't think thats a good idea, since we aren't dating yet, even though it feels like it, and her ex is going to be there..
So really.. I have no other options of what to give her for a gift.. If you have any good ideas.. PM me them, cause shes probably gonna read this and I don't want her to know before hand Sucker..
Oh.. Another little story, Wednesday after school, before she went downtown, I went to the mall with her and one of our other friends.. We walked together to her car, as it was closer.. As we got there I started asking what time she was gonna get home from downtown at, while slowly walking back to my truck.. and then shes like "Where are you going?" .. "Uh.. home?" And then she said "No.. come back here". So I walk back to her car and she hugs me, and then says "Now you can go.." Ahhaa... ya..
Wednesday night, she went downtown with one of her classes to see some Dance Act..
While she was on the bus she and one of her and my good friend, who is a girl I might add.. I dunno, just think thats kinda important that thats known.. They started texting me.. The first one was like.. Hey.. and then it was like "Sexytime?".. I knew at that point that her friend stole her phone, or was texting it with her to see my response.. I knew they were kidding and said very funny and I told Lindsey that she left her MSN on, and I'm like.. "You dumb fucking Idoit".. Its what her mom says, not like harshly or meaninful, just joking around with her when she does something dumb.. Her moms awesome, don't get the wrong Idea.. anyways.. My friend texts me and is like.. Why are you so mean? I'm like, what, to who? She said "To Linds, you dumb fuck".. I'm like, "Oh sorry, It was just an Inside joke.." Shes like.. "oh well she took it personally, her and her mom get into a big fight before she left.." "You made her cry"... I'm like... fucckkkk.. so I call her just to make sure it isn't true.. Turns out it wasn't, but I was still worried.. but at least they had a good laugh, at my expense though.. Assholes..
So then today, she told me that she couldn't hang out for once because shes got two finals tomorrow that she has to study for... Thats fine, I understand, I'll just cya tomorrow.. but then after work.. (I work at a restuarant.. No.. not a job flipping burgers at McDonalds.. A real kitchen where we actually cook stuff that is considered food.. White Spot for anyone whos ever been to BC/AB, Canada..) I'm like.. "I has grill chez, you wants it?" And yes, thats actually the exact words.. Her ex-boyfriend got her into the Lolcat speak.. and since I spend probably too much time on the internet myself, it just fits.. Grilled cheese is like her favorite food, she could probably live off it.. She says yes, so I respond saying "mmk".. So I make it, I also make a Milkshake for her.. I'm like driving to her house, and I'm like.. oh shit I forgot a straw, so I turn back, and get one.. I start driving back to her house.. I'm almost there, and she sends me a text saying "?? ??" as in what the fuck is taking you soo long.. So to get payback on her for the day before.. I'm like.. "I was just kidding.. lol" so shes like "fuck, you got me all excited for nothing".. So I get near her house, I turn off my lights, park a few houses down the street, get out, grab the goods and walk myself up to her driveway.. At this point, I can tell shes in her room because her lights are on and stuff. So I text her saying "look out your window"... She bolts to the window and looks out, and sees me holding her Grilled Cheese and a Milkshake.. lol.. So she comes to the door, I give her the food, hug her and then shes like.. You want to come in?
I was gonna say no, cause I knew she was studying, but she did ask me to, so I came in.. So I just talked with her and her mom for a little while, small talk really.. Her mom.. oh god.. I love her, shes awesome.. There was a Hair Elastic band.. and her dad was like, is this yours Lindsey, and her moms like, thats not her, Lindsey doens't like the skinny ones.. Me and Lindsey Laugh.. and then her mom says "She likes the thick ones"... In which all three of us laugh, her dad is just kinda clueless.. I'm like.. no way, her mom just cracked a sexual joke.. lmao..
But ya.. anyways.. after a hour or so there, I say I'm going home, so that she can go back and study..
After I left, She started Texting me.. even though she should have been studying... She told me how she got really excited like looking out the window to see if I was there every minute or so.. and that she didn't really care about the food, more so that she got to see me.. Which is a good sign I guess...
Tomorrows Friday.. well its friday now really, so I should probably get some sleep as I have school in the morning.. She works at 5PM, and I'm going to some Motorcycle show with my dad while shes at work.. So I'll probably see her after she gets off work.. We'll see how that goes...
And then Saturday night.. Shes having her Birthday Party.. its the only time she could book this Karoke place even though her B-day was like 2 weeks ago.. Her "ex" or whatever.. It feels weird saying that, cause I'm so use to saying "BF'... Ya.. anyways.. hes coming to her party too.. so its going to be interesting none the less..
I still have no idea what to get her, I thought I did.. but without going into details, the place I tried to go, didn't have what I was looking for.. Like, there is actually nothing this girl needs, she has like everything.. I sat down with my sister and mom and discussed what I could get her, and every single Idea they could come up with.. she already has it.. I told Lindsey this and she told me not to get her anything, but I want to.. I would get her Jewerly or something like that, but I don't think thats a good idea, since we aren't dating yet, even though it feels like it, and her ex is going to be there..
So really.. I have no other options of what to give her for a gift.. If you have any good ideas.. PM me them, cause shes probably gonna read this and I don't want her to know before hand Sucker..
Oh.. Another little story, Wednesday after school, before she went downtown, I went to the mall with her and one of our other friends.. We walked together to her car, as it was closer.. As we got there I started asking what time she was gonna get home from downtown at, while slowly walking back to my truck.. and then shes like "Where are you going?" .. "Uh.. home?" And then she said "No.. come back here". So I walk back to her car and she hugs me, and then says "Now you can go.." Ahhaa... ya..
Last edited by LT.Victim (2008-01-25 01:40:04)
Would you sue if I profited off a screenplay adaptation of this thread?
Depends how much money it rolls in..nukchebi0 wrote:
Would you sue if I profited off a screenplay adaptation of this thread?
that was a fair bit to read...
looks like things are good between the 2 of you.
looks like things are good between the 2 of you.
Okay.LT.Victim wrote:
Depends how much money it rolls in..nukchebi0 wrote:
Would you sue if I profited off a screenplay adaptation of this thread?
I'd probably share with you anyways, though, because I hate stealing.
Edit: Good luck in your endeavors.
Last edited by nukchebi0 (2008-01-25 01:48:46)
Dude, buy her chocolate. That always works, unless your girl is one of those freaks who doesn't like chocolate.
Also, it sounds to me like you're already in. However, there is always the chance for a surprise-LJBF, so watchit.
Also, it sounds to me like you're already in. However, there is always the chance for a surprise-LJBF, so watchit.
"If you want a vision of the future, imagine SecuROM slapping your face with its dick -- forever." -George Orwell
Ya.. Sorry about that.. I just kinda kept going.. and going.. and going.. but you guys want updates.. theres one..tthf wrote:
that was a fair bit to read...
looks like things are good between the 2 of you.
Lindsey is gonna be like fuccckkkk when she sees it, she probably won't even read the whole thing, she hates reading..
I see no problems here. Why have you made a thread about how good you've got it. Asshole.
Jkin'
Jkin'
She doesn't like chocolate.. lolLaidBackNinja wrote:
Dude, buy her chocolate. That always works, unless your girl is one of those freaks who doesn't like chocolate.
Dammit... why did you have to pick a freak? OKAY. Then get her a cute framed picture of the two of you. Just go like.... 'I couldn't really think of anything but I've had this picture of us on my desk for ages... so I just put a frame on it.'LT.Victim wrote:
She doesn't like chocolate.. lolLaidBackNinja wrote:
Dude, buy her chocolate. That always works, unless your girl is one of those freaks who doesn't like chocolate.
Did you say she reads this thread? Lemme just install some camouflage for you here.
All in all, Terminator is an awesome movie, but Navy Seals was pretty horrible.
"If you want a vision of the future, imagine SecuROM slapping your face with its dick -- forever." -George Orwell
I guess that with two guys instead of one (or none), she doesn't need the extra endorfine shot. Either that or she's,.. scary.LT.Victim wrote:
She doesn't like chocolate.. lolLaidBackNinja wrote:
Dude, buy her chocolate. That always works, unless your girl is one of those freaks who doesn't like chocolate.
I don't have any good pics of just the two of us.. Theres like 11 photos of us in Facebook with me and her in it, but with other friends.. And the only picture that is just me and her, we both have the facial expression of "OH HAY GUIYS WHATS GOING ON?!?"LaidBackNinja wrote:
Dammit... why did you have to pick a freak? OKAY. Then get her a cute framed picture of the two of you. Just go like.... 'I couldn't really think of anything but I've had this picture of us on my desk for ages... so I just put a frame on it.LT.Victim wrote:
She doesn't like chocolate.. lolLaidBackNinja wrote:
Dude, buy her chocolate. That always works, unless your girl is one of those freaks who doesn't like chocolate.
.. and you have to remember that her ex is going to be there.. So like, if I get something like that.. its like a kick in the gut to him.. and even though I'm not friends with the guy, I don't want to do that..
Next idea.. lol
Yeah, I got nuttin'.
Instead, I'm gonna go do what I should have been doing: study for my exam in 2 hours.
Instead, I'm gonna go do what I should have been doing: study for my exam in 2 hours.
"If you want a vision of the future, imagine SecuROM slapping your face with its dick -- forever." -George Orwell
Ya...LaidBackNinja wrote:
Yeah, I got nuttin'.
Instead, I'm gonna go do what I should have been doing: study for my exam in 2 hours.
I think Intead, I'm gonna go do what I should have been doing too.. Sleeping..
Night.
"If you want a vision of the future, imagine SecuROM slapping your face with its dick -- forever." -George Orwell
The Lt. just asked me whether "endorfine" was a Dutch word. I wanted to PM a quick explanation, but it became rather lenghty and some other people may find it interesting as well, so here it is:
Note though, that I have not verified it properly so please do correct me if I'm wrong.Me wrote:
Endorfine(s) (actually they are endorphins in English ), are bio-chemicals similar to morfine produced by the human body under certain circumstances. A particular type is produced in larger quantities when people are in love, the effect being that the feel the way they feel when they are. It is actually this same type of endorphin that makes people feel in love, that is also present in chocolate products. So eating (enough) chocolate gives one exactly the same high as when one is in love, and basically the stories about "girls and chocolate" aren't that big a pile of bullshit at all. Women consuming large quantities of the specific substance, using it as a endrophin suplement, either when feeling sad or love-sick, can thus be explained. What can't be explained is why this habit of excessive chocolate consumption generally seems to be limited to women. A (female) friend of mine expressed her opinion that women might be more in need to feel "in love". Despite that there are these biogenetical arguments one could think of why this would be the case, I seriously doubt that it is. In fact, when applied to the present, I'm not buying any of those biogenetical arguments about supposed emotional differences between men and women. In my opinion the excessive consumption of chocolate by females is in large culturally determined, like the excessive consumption of specific types of alcoholic beverages such as beer is generally limited to males (though the latter is changing).
alright, 1- dont ruin the suprise by getting her something that shes gonna read on here, that would um, you know, ruin the surprise. thats half the fun for chicks. 2- as for the actual gift giving, there is a way to bypass the ex being there...just tell her you will give her her gift after the party, when you two are alone. and its not the actual gift, its the thought of it, or some bullshit like that, that should make her swoon over you.
The gift is cock, thats no surprise TBQF.mcjagdflieger wrote:
alright, 1- dont ruin the suprise by getting her something that shes gonna read on here, that would um, you know, ruin the surprise. thats half the fun for chicks. 2- as for the actual gift giving, there is a way to bypass the ex being there...just tell her you will give her her gift after the party, when you two are alone. and its not the actual gift, its the thought of it, or some bullshit like that, that should make her swoon over you.