bennisboy wrote:
..If you're that old, you should know how to spell equation ..
I'd say I am doing rather well for a non-native speaker. If your german is as good as my english, then we'll talk...
Lai wrote:
Of course he trusts her. Trust is an important factor in a relationship but I think you put too much emphasis on the question whether he can trust her rather than whether he's willing too. Eventually trusting her rather than distrusting her has to come from him, and the "trust" that matters is more this trust he's willing to lend her. Trust always implies a certain level of risk, but that's what it is. Unless she wears sunglasses in winter and/or sleeps with a 9mm under her pillow, in other words unless there is some reasonable indication of her guilt in being untrustworthy; I think she deserves at least the advantage of doubt. Perhaps you're right in stating that he should rationally assess his and her position towards eachother, but he shouldn't be overly paranoid either.
well, of course there is some level of risk involved, and believe me, if this was just a meaningless teenage affair for Ryan, I'd say go for it, have some fun, and ignore the consequences. Life's short...
But from what he tells us, this seems to be more serious for him. And this is why trust is so important. I mean let's face it, she did cheat on her BF. Of course, you can now find all sorts of explanations and excuses for that, but the fact remains.
If I was looking for a long-term relationship, would I be willing to get together with someone like that ? Could I trust her ? Under the given circumstances ?
If you were in Ryan's shoes, would you ?
The question is, what is Ryan looking for in a relationship with Lindsey ? short-term, long-term ? relaxed, or serious ? To what degreee is he emotionally involved, how much feelings is he investing, so to speak, etc...
To me, it seems he is quite heavily involved already, hence my advise for caution.
And now, turn the whole thing around and ask her the same questions...
Certainly, one could argue, as you implied, wether 17-year-olds are able to look at the whole thing rationally and think straight in the first place.
And I would agree that to some extent, teenagers that age have limited control over their emotions in these situations.
But Ryan is a clever guy. He can handle it. That's all part of growing up anyway. No way to get around it.
