Freezer7Pro
I don't come here a lot anymore.
+1,447|6408|Winland

Wall of text incoming.  It is not to be taken with too much seriousness, as it is mostly parodizing the past year's events. If you feel offended, I didn't intend to offend you. (That goes out especially to the mod team and chuy/Kimmy. )

IF THERE ARE ANY CHRONOLOGICAL ERRORS (EVEN FATAL ONES MAY OCCUR), I APOLOGIZE. I JUST RIPPED THIS STRAIGHT OUT OF MY HEAD. I MAY HAVE MIXED UP SOME IMPORTANT THINGS.

Where shall we start? Of all shit on the internet it can't be too hard to think of something to rant about, and I've been thinking for this for maybe an hour or so. I know! Let's start with ranting about all the changes BF2s went through in 2007.

The retardation levels on BF2s just keep climbing (No, I'm not all innocent ). The number of bans has been immense the last months. How can this be? I think we can track the problem back before to the renaming of the Junk Drawer, wich caused a huge hormonic change in BF2s regulars hormonic balance. But before we go into that, we've got the sequel of the 10 000 Replies, Lez Do It! series of threads that spawned the idea of renaming Junk Drawer.

Our beloved ig created the wonderful thread of 10 000 Replies, may he live for eternety.
The thread quickly became the most popular thread in the history of BF2s, but people could not contain themselves, now when they had the opportunity to spam unlimitedly. But as with all popular things, the mods disliked and closed it. This caused tremendous riots and fights within the BF2s community, and anarchy was approaching, unless the mods would do something, the population would eventually end up getting themselves banned. In a heroic attempt to save the population and BF2s, TMo re-opened the thread, and the riots faded. People poored in and started posting again, but were strictly forced by a proletarian police force to keep their posts reasonable, or they would be kicked out of society and stamped as lulzkillers for the rest of their lives.

After a very long and healthy life of over two weeks, the humongous thread contained over 9000 posts, and battles would rage and bets would be set, of who would get the ten-thousand post. People would post more than ever when the posts reached the high 9000's. Never before had such intensity been seen in a thread before. And finally, CameronPoe got the 10,000th post, and the mods closed the thread again, even though the people were presenting strong will to make it a 20 000 replies-thread.

This sparked the inevatable reaction of every internet user when an epic thread is closed; Reposting. The Junk Drawer was litterarly flooded with variations of it; 10 000 replies, Lez Do It Again, 10 Replies, Lez Do It, 0 Replies, Lez Do It, 20 000 Replies, Lez Do It, and so on. The closing of the 10 000 Replies, Lez Do It had caused a hole in the hearts of the BF2s regulars, and they were trying to fill that hole. Little did they know what evil plans the mods had for the future of Junk Drawer...

When the ever so wise Emperor Chuyskywalker saw what dark forces were plauging the BF2s board, he thought it'd be a keen idea to step in and try to fix it, once and for all. Little did he know of what consequences his actions would cause...

After a long time of meditating and thinking, he decided that the cause of all the darkness was the name of the section; The Junk Drawer. He thought that the Junk in the name would attract the dark forces of spam and decay, acting as a magnet, with it's meaning of worthlessness and uselessness. With a swift stroke of his power, he converted the Junk Drawer to... General Chatter! A naming that he thought would drive out the dark forces of spam and decay, but, for the first time in many, many years, his wisdom would prove to be incorrect and almost fatal. With this action, he took the last thing the inhabitants valued over their lives - The Junk Drawer.

This leads us back to the hormonic imbalance that we saw earlier. Let's dig a little deeper into it, now that we're briefed.

This hormonic inbalance caused the brains of BF2s regulars to slow down, and the routing centras for spam often got damaged. This caused the spam levels of BF2s to increase even more and would soon force the mods into action, with more closes and bans than ever before, as it is the mods natural reaction to spam.

After some time of this, several "The thread to contain allt he spam" and alikes appeared on the BF2s stage, but was soon closed due to them not doing their job. Then, the BF2s regulars started regaining their hormonal balance, little by little, and started protesting against General Chatter. The mods attempts to hide this had failed miserably, and soon a communist party was raised in BF2s, and they started taking over, with catchy slogans as "In soviet Junk Drawer, Junk Draws You!" and "Stand up to the oppression - Junk Drawer for the people!".

Communist/Soviet Junk Drawer sigs, Bring back the Junk Drawer and other posters were placed all over, and the mods had to fight harder than ever before to maintain their leadership. After many hard struggles and bloody battles, the mods managed to push down the communist party and movement with brute force, by removing key person's sigs and more banning. The original Soviet Junk Drawer sig series by me, and/or other similar-themed ones were banned. Order was restored. For the moment.

Some time passed, whiles BF2s was almost back to "normal", and the ammount of spam wasn't extreme. Until some users started noticing some errors and artifacts in the layout... And slowdowns... And non-working PMs/Karma... Until GIBSON DIED!

Panic broke loose. BF2s was down. The population was homeless! The brain damage recieved from the Junk Drawer remaining became obvious as the members started panicing, searching for a place to stay. Some went to 4chan, others to other aming sites, some started playing BF2 in share despair, but they soon gave up - They couldn't get their stats delivered in a good way anymore! IRC got more populated than ever before, rumors broke out of what'd happened, it was total chaos.

Then, out of nowhere, on the initiative of our lovely DeathUnlimited, liquidat0r set up a sub-domain at his site - bf2s.liquidat0r.com - and installed a PunBB forum on his webserver. The BF2s refugees soon started finding this place, as they rised from the ashes of BF2s and spayed over the horizont. They found the Temp Forums, a town in the desert of the Internet, Karma-less and with many of the features BF2s had unavailable. The brain damage that the users had recieved in the crash now became painfully obvious. The spam controlling abilities of the majority fo the userbase was completely gone, and since this was a "New and temporary" place, nobody seemed to take it seriously. In the belief that BF2s would be up soon, they (And me, yes) acted out in complete idiocy. Spamming more than ever, fucking around, playing with the patience of the higher power. Little did they know that they would have to stay here for a month...

The days went by, and even though the situation calmed down, it would never become as good as the real BF2s. The mods did tolerate more at this place, but they soon gave in to the reports and the gut feeling. They broke out the emergency banhammer, and used it with love! Spammers spammed, got banned and made new accounts. Over and over again. After about two weeks of temp BF2s, people started realizing that it'd take a lot more time than expected to get BF2s back up again. They started accepting the fact that this place might be their home for quite a long time, and thus, they started settling down a bit, actually being a little serious.

Under this whole time, liquidat0r worked on getting more plugins and making the Temp Forums look as much as the real forums as possible. He tried different Karma systems and BF2s templates, to little recognition among the population. Finally he gave in with the Karma system (Gotta admit, it was my fault, sorry liq. ) and made it random instead. The random Karma Generator did ensure lots of lulz would be had, as people raced to get epic Karma numbers, such as 666, 1, 0 and 1337.

They lived there for the month, and under that month, the trolls also found their way in. Androo, c-dog (Also known as .) and a possible Supah came in and sang their song, togheter witht he rest of the users, as in old times. Horrible grammar and poor insults would cheer up the day, as cdogmn wud pwn ur azz from time to time.

Soon enough, chuy and duk0r got Gibson back up, and the real BF2s back up, about 1.5 months ago. The people would slowly find their way back to BF2s, only to be met by a horriffic sight. Tons of Karma wsa missing, along with topics and PMs, stuff was falling apart, and salvaging any personal items was nearly impossible.

But then came the real punch in the face - The sigs were gone... If you put up your old sig, you'd get an AWM with a link to the most horrifying post in post-apocalyptic BF2s... The new sig rules-post by the Emperor. Signatures were now limited to FORTY pixels in height, and could be accompanied by a minimal 180x60px avatar! Immense riots broke loose, almost in the same caliber as the Junk Drawer riots. Sigs and avatars with complaints about the rules were created and banned, just as the Empire dealt with the communist party, they shattered the opposition with brute force. The brain injuries of the inhabitants became very obvious once again, and the forum was almost killed in wave after wave of spam. The fact that 4chan had been attacked at times didn't help, since 4chan users would post their spam on BF2s instead. But after some fighting and battling against ever so hard enemies, BF2s is now back at at least some of it's former glory, with a healthy userbase and active, relatively spam-free people.

- THE END! -

© Freezer7Pro 2008

Phew, now my fingers are tired, that thing took ~2.5 hours to write! Hope you enjoyed.

I know I've propably got half of the facts wrong. What I'm least sure about is the chronological order. Since so many threads got lost (Or can't be found) after the crash, I had a hard time doing some of this (Like the 10 000 replies/Junk Drawer part). Hope you don't mind.

Last edited by Freezer7Pro (2008-01-07 13:28:54)

The idea of any hi-fi system is to reproduce the source material as faithfully as possible, and to deliberately add distortion to everything you hear (due to amplifier deficiencies) because it sounds 'nice' is simply not high fidelity. If that is what you want to hear then there is no problem with that, but by adding so much additional material (by way of harmonics and intermodulation) you have a tailored sound system, not a hi-fi. - Rod Elliot, ESP
suomalainen_äijä
Member
+64|6377
K
Lieutenant_Jensen
Your cops are corrupt.
+200|6602|fåking denmark
Even thought I just started reading,

I DEMAND STICKY!

EDIT: I take that back, MY EYES ARE BLEEDING!

Last edited by Lieutenant_Jensen (2008-01-07 12:32:04)

justice
OctoPoster
+978|6952|OctoLand
lol good luck getting people to read that

/never read a book in my life.

Last edited by justice (2008-01-07 12:31:21)

I know fucking karate
Kurazoo
Pheasant Plucker
+440|6896|West Yorkshire, U.K
I didn't read it, I will tomorrow, im so tired

My eyes will bleed
Brasso
member
+1,549|6842

Two and a half hours?  Jesus. 
"people in ny have a general idea of how to drive. one of the pedals goes forward the other one prevents you from dying"
Stimey
­
+786|6331|Ontario | Canada
Can I have the abridged version please?
Good effort though.
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Freezer7Pro
I don't come here a lot anymore.
+1,447|6408|Winland

Stimey wrote:

Can I have the abridged version please?
Good effort though.
*Shutters*

I don't quite feel like re-writing it, or even copypasta-ing it shorter. The purpose of this thing is to be long.

It's a display of my dedication to BF2s.
The idea of any hi-fi system is to reproduce the source material as faithfully as possible, and to deliberately add distortion to everything you hear (due to amplifier deficiencies) because it sounds 'nice' is simply not high fidelity. If that is what you want to hear then there is no problem with that, but by adding so much additional material (by way of harmonics and intermodulation) you have a tailored sound system, not a hi-fi. - Rod Elliot, ESP
Spearhead
Gulf coast redneck hippy
+731|6901|Tampa Bay Florida
Twas funny
Metal-Eater-GR
I can haz titanium paancakez?
+490|6484
Hahah,so true!
Noobeater
Northern numpty
+194|6658|Boulder, CO

Stimey wrote:

Can I have the abridged version please?
Good effort though.
The 10,000 replies lez do it thread turned into a spam fest so it was closed, people complained so Tmo reopened it but enforced stricter rules on the posts. It ended and many clones of it appeared in the general chatter section, it was annoying the admins so the junk draw was renamed to general chatter which pissed alot of people off. These people made anti general chatter sigs and posters to fight against it which were eventually banned.

Not so long after our beloved gibson died and Liquidator kindly lent Bf2s the use of his website which didn't look exactly the same and as people though it would only be in existence for a short amount of time they spammed it, they were banned or severely warned. Some legends of the internet entered the temp forums (namely C dog) and were subsequently banned. After a great amount of effort and the use of valuble man hours gibson was revived and was ready to once more kick ass.  People drifted back and found new sig rules which they disliked and once more protested about, these protest siggy's were then banned. Some people still act like dumbasses even now due to the increased infleunce of the chans on members as some members lost their way and ended up in those hell holes when gibson was down. So there is still some spam but it should hopefully calm down further as its already alot better than it was.

That abridgment didn't really work out as I planned it too.

Good job  freezer as you can tell i read the entire thing and laughed several times.

Last edited by Noobeater (2008-01-07 12:53:41)

ATG
Banned
+5,233|6740|Global Command
You didn't mention me in there  /failure.
aLeX
.?
+160|6542|:D

I can actually read more than a few sentences, so I read it.

Good work. Deserves a +1 and to those of you who didn't have the decency to read it +1 him as well.
Freezer7Pro
I don't come here a lot anymore.
+1,447|6408|Winland

aLeX wrote:

I can actually read more than a few sentences, so I read it.

Good work. Deserves a +1 and to those of you who didn't have the decency to read it +1 him as well.


Lol, 9 Karmas from this thread in under an hour
The idea of any hi-fi system is to reproduce the source material as faithfully as possible, and to deliberately add distortion to everything you hear (due to amplifier deficiencies) because it sounds 'nice' is simply not high fidelity. If that is what you want to hear then there is no problem with that, but by adding so much additional material (by way of harmonics and intermodulation) you have a tailored sound system, not a hi-fi. - Rod Elliot, ESP
naightknifar
Served and Out
+642|6772|Southampton, UK

Freezer7Pro wrote:

aLeX wrote:

I can actually read more than a few sentences, so I read it.

Good work. Deserves a +1 and to those of you who didn't have the decency to read it +1 him as well.


Lol, 9 Karmas from this thread in under an hour
You just proved you are scum, karma whore.
GJ !
DUnlimited
got any popo lolo intersting?
+1,160|6675|cuntshitlake

Then, out of nowhere, liquidat0r set up a sub-domain at his site - bf2s.liquidat0r.com
Out of nowhere?
main battle tank karthus medikopter 117 megamegapowershot gg
Freezer7Pro
I don't come here a lot anymore.
+1,447|6408|Winland

DeathUnlimited wrote:

Then, out of nowhere, liquidat0r set up a sub-domain at his site - bf2s.liquidat0r.com
Out of nowhere?
Out of nowhere. Poof! Just like that!
The idea of any hi-fi system is to reproduce the source material as faithfully as possible, and to deliberately add distortion to everything you hear (due to amplifier deficiencies) because it sounds 'nice' is simply not high fidelity. If that is what you want to hear then there is no problem with that, but by adding so much additional material (by way of harmonics and intermodulation) you have a tailored sound system, not a hi-fi. - Rod Elliot, ESP
Master*
Banned
+416|6706|United States
0 replies, we cantz do it.
ig
This topic seems to have no actual posts
+1,199|6733
lol. you forgot to mention i got banned and didn't even get to rejoice in the 10,000th reply
meh, i deserved it. good post though.
Stimey
­
+786|6331|Ontario | Canada

Freezer7Pro wrote:

Stimey wrote:

Can I have the abridged version please?
Good effort though.
*Shutters*

I don't quite feel like re-writing it, or even copypasta-ing it shorter. The purpose of this thing is to be long.

It's a display of my dedication to BF2s.
K, your pretty dedicated then. Good work still
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Surgeons
U shud proabbly f off u fat prik
+3,097|6701|Gogledd Cymru

ATG wrote:

You didn't mention me in there  /failure.
NeXuS
Shock it till ya know it
+375|6553|Atlanta, Georgia
I Want Junk Drawer/sigs/hurricat Back!
Freezer7Pro
I don't come here a lot anymore.
+1,447|6408|Winland

Oh fuck, Google Ads see me through!

https://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb8/Freezer7Pro/ofuuk2.png

Last edited by Freezer7Pro (2008-01-07 13:38:51)

The idea of any hi-fi system is to reproduce the source material as faithfully as possible, and to deliberately add distortion to everything you hear (due to amplifier deficiencies) because it sounds 'nice' is simply not high fidelity. If that is what you want to hear then there is no problem with that, but by adding so much additional material (by way of harmonics and intermodulation) you have a tailored sound system, not a hi-fi. - Rod Elliot, ESP
liquidat0r
wtf.
+2,223|6838|UK
I'd just like to say that if you search "bf2s" on Google, the fifth and sixth results are me!

(used to be third and fourth)
Master*
Banned
+416|6706|United States

The Sheriff wrote:

ATG wrote:

You didn't mention me in there  /failure.
who?

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