she's pretty cute am I allowed to say more?LT.Victim wrote:
Is that a good thing or a bad thing?The#1Spot wrote:
i am trying to keep my mouth shut
FUCK I was in the EXACT same situation about a month and a half go (and the same age too). That's obscure.LT.Victim wrote:
So here's whats happening.. its a long read, and I've contemplated on whether or not I should post this or not... so if you don't want to read it, or you don't have any advice for me, that's fine..
There's this girl that I'm in love with that goes to my school.. We've dated in the past (2 years ago) when I didn't really know her that well and it was kind of awkward between us so I ended it... We are good friends now and lately over the past couple of months since schools started I've been hanging out with her more and more, going to the movies together, chilling with her late into the night etc.. I really like this girl, I don't just want to fuck her.. even though I can't say that I don't, I could care less about the sex as long as I could be with her. It sounds really corny but I haven't felt this strongly for a girl in a long time, if not ever. It no longer feels awkward between us like it did before and I could really see myself being with this girl. I'm fairly certain she feels the same way about me too, the only problem is.. she has a boyfriend. It seems kind of strange, because if I was him, I would be pissed off that I was spending so much time with her. She even leaned in as if she was going to kiss me with her boyfriend in the car 10 m away before she realized what she was doing and snapped out of it, which both of our friends made fun of her for doing. Her boyfriend is currently in Mexico and I've been hanging out with her practically every single night besides the nights that me or her have to work, last Friday and Saturday night I hung out with her until like 4 in the morning on both occasions.. I want her to break up with her boyfriend, but I don't want to be known as the asshole who made her, most likely because its going to cause a shitload of drama that I don't care for.
She really likes me, and I can tell by the way she acts around me especially when we are alone together, but I think she feels kind of guilty about it too. Like, I'll be at her house watching TV with her in her basement on her couch and she be practically laying on top of me, and whenever she hears someone start walking down the stairs she gets off of me, most likely because that person is going to say "WTF YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND" or something along that line..
I would talk to her and tell her the way I feel, but I have a feeling that that is going to make it awkward between us, and that's the last thing I need especially since we've both just gotten over that..
She still really loves her boyfriend, but she also likes me.. All of her and my friends keep making fun of us and tell us to just date already, and I have a feeling it's going to happen eventually but still.. I have no idea how I should go about this, I don't want to be the asshole that messed up shit between her current boyfriend, but I also don't want to be stuck in the dreaded "Friends Zone" (I'm kinda past that zone, but I'm stuck because I don't want her to cheat on her boyfriend)..
What should I do.. should I just tell her how I feel and hope that it doesn't make it awkward between us and that she feels the same way... or should I keep hanging out with her until hopefully her boyfriend gets jealous and dumps her.. Its happened before, but they just got back together.. Either way, how can I get with this chick without me feeling like an Asshole in the long run..
Just a little info, we are both 17, and her boyfriend doesn't get back till the 29th, so I have a week or so to think this whole thing over...
Inb4WhyAreYouAskingForRelationshipHelpOnBF2s..
Heres the plan: Just keep doing what you're doing. Don't say you like her outright to her face, because that'll just fuck things up almightily. Once she breaks up with her boyfriend, wait a week, then ask her out for coffee/catch up and THEN throw yourself at her mercy.
And don't feel bad about hitting on someone/having feelings for someone already going out with another person. He is doing his job. You are doing yours.
Good luck (and thank fuck this isn't another "HOMG SHOUD I SCREW THIS 15 YEAR OLD THAT I KNOW" thread)
Oh and have a +1 too. Nom nom nom
this sounds like a seinfeld story line...
She already knows how I feel.. we had the "talk", so its kinda too late for that..SharkyMcshark wrote:
FUCK I was in the EXACT same situation about a month and a half go (and the same age too). That's obscure.
Heres the plan: Just keep doing what you're doing. Don't say you like her outright to her face, because that'll just fuck things up almightily. Once she breaks up with her boyfriend, wait a week, then ask her out for coffee/catch up and THEN throw yourself at her mercy.
And don't feel bad about hitting on someone/having feelings for someone already going out with another person. He is doing his job. You are doing yours.
Yesterday I told myself I wouldn't see her or talk to her at all.. Well.. I kinda gave in, my friend was with me and she was working, so we drove out to her work to say hi to her.. Her boyfriend got back yesterday, and my friend asked if she saw him yet, in which she didn't say anything and just stared at me.. I knew she saw him, but I mean I expected that.. I dunno.. FUCK feelings.. why does this shit have to be so complicated...
So today, I have pledged that I will not text or call her at all, if she wants to talk to me, then she will.
I have a feeling that the only way I'm going to finally get her is if her boyfriend breaks up with her.. I mean, they been together for like 1.5 years or so.. They've broken up like 3 times, 2 of which he was a real asshole in doing so.. She knows its coming sooner or later, and she even pretty much told me that.. Its just, he is her High School Sweetheart, her "first", you know? It's just easier for her to stay with him, because thats what she has been doing the last year and a half, she doesn't know if what we have together is enough to just throw away all that time she has had with him.. I feel it is, and I think so does she, this has to be one of the hardest decision in her life.. Like, when she slept over at my house, we had some REALLY deep conversations, really things you shouldn't be talking about unless you've been with that person for a long time.. like, we talked about kids, she said I would have really good looking kids, and then we started talking about if she wants boy, girls, names.. etc.. She wants a boy and a girl, the boys name Ethan and the girls name Lily, because thats her favorite flower, she wants it to be her wedding flower and stuff..
I'm trying not to see her or talk to her for a while, but at the same time, I feel obligated to see her, because I know if I don't then shes just going to see her boyfriend...
way, waaaaaay too much typing going on here
What would you rather have?GunSlinger OIF II wrote:
way, waaaaaay too much typing going on here
Pff, nice old romance theory but doesn't apply to many anymore these days.. I mean seriously girls of today require you to actively sort of hunt them (well not all of them lol), atleast most I know like to play hard to get.. Sigh. Now it's not with everyone this way but you should do your best for sure as a man though, put some effort in it.ig wrote:
i completely disagree. if it's meant to be, it's meant to be.Tetrino wrote:
You want to make sure you do everything in your power (short of anything illegal) to try and sway her to your side.
here's my theory; FUCK GIRLS. I just found out that the girl who liked me enough to break up with her boyfriend for just got back together with him. I'm fucking done...fuck that bitch. Never in my life have I felt that way about someone and she fucks with my heart like a heartless icebitch. In through
Ya, I know what you mean, I really hope that doesn't happen to me if she does break up with her boyfriend..MorbiD.ShoT wrote:
here's my theory; FUCK GIRLS. I just found out that the girl who liked me enough to break up with her boyfriend for just got back together with him. I'm fucking done...fuck that bitch. Never in my life have I felt that way about someone and she fucks with my heart like a heartless icebitch. In through
So you're turning to men now?MorbiD.ShoT wrote:
here's my theory; FUCK GIRLS. I just found out that the girl who liked me enough to break up with her boyfriend for just got back together with him. I'm fucking done...fuck that bitch. Never in my life have I felt that way about someone and she fucks with my heart like a heartless icebitch. In through
No do not! I've just returned from France to see this topic is still alive and just felt I had to reply to this 2 page old post. This is exactly the kind of advice Othello listened to and we all know how that ended.Havok wrote:
I had a nearly identical situation as the one you're in right now, except I didn't get as far as you have before I found out the girl I knew was a bitch. Be careful. If she does break up with her boyfriend to date you, what makes you think she won't cheat on you too? I don't want to play the hope-killer, but just keep this thought in the back of your head.
OMG if she prefers the flower of chivalry (above the cheap cliche crap like roses), she has got style.LT.Victim wrote:
the girls name Lily, because thats her favorite flower, she wants it to be her wedding flower and stuff..
I concur, even though I shamefully admit I'm probably wrong in doing so.MorbiD.ShoT wrote:
here's my theory; FUCK GIRLS. I just found out that the girl who liked me enough to break up with her boyfriend for just got back together with him. I'm fucking done...fuck that bitch. Never in my life have I felt that way about someone and she fucks with my heart like a heartless icebitch. In through
But anyway: you love her and you know for sure she loves you. Apart from the practical side of things, does it really matter to you if she loves him as well? For some reason I find female polygamy much more acceptable than male polygamy as well, perhaps because it can be genuine rather than often being bio-reproductively driven.
I do not know why it has to be so complicated, I guess there are multiple reasons: for one the thoughts men and women still appear to be seperated by a barier created by prejudices about differences in emotional understanding by both sexes. Secondly our perception and expression of emotion is limited often to what can be translated into vocal language. But accepting that for now, you can hold onto this piece of lyric:
"No choice may ours to be
But hold the banner proudly
The truth will set us free"
And if you at some point, standing on the walls of Jerusalem, seeing another wave of Salah E-Dinn's army advancing, realise that you're not supporting the banner, but instead the banner is all that is supporting you; clench on to those ideals you know to be right. Ok I'm strating to drift a little and sound a bit vague. Back to the point: she says she loves both of you equally.
Often when people say they feel something or don't feel something they simply don't know what they feel. In the best case scenario what she's feeling for him is nothing more than guilt. In the worst case scenario you'll remain in an impasse because she does still feel for him, though never more than what she feels for you: if she doesn't "miss" (and hang oput with you) him when he isn't home, she can't possibly miss him more when he is. And if he really is has treated her as you said he did, neither she nor you should feel guilty about anything if she leaves him and takes off with you.
Writing this reply, I realise again how complicated stuff like this indeed is. And yes, there should definitely be a seperate BF2 section dedicated to these dilemma's. It makes for good discussions and would provide a more easy frame of reference for furture "cases". Good luck and remember you've practically got a whole army backing you on this battlefield (2)
K so..
As I stated in a previous post, I wasn't going to call her at all today, I was hoping that she would call me, and she did.. It literally made my heart stop beating when I saw it was her calling me.. She came over to my house, and we talked a little bit. She told me that she still wanted to be with her boyfriend because she wanted to see if she still felt the same way about him as she use too.. Fair enough I guess..
I asked her if this would change things between us, and she said no.. She still feels the same about me, she still wants to hang out with me, she still wants me to call her and text her whenever I want, even if she is with her boyfriend, she doesn't care...And then she had to go to work...
And then as I was typing this she sent me a text saying "If its meant to be it'll happen"...
I really hope thats true, because I do think its meant to be..
As I stated in a previous post, I wasn't going to call her at all today, I was hoping that she would call me, and she did.. It literally made my heart stop beating when I saw it was her calling me.. She came over to my house, and we talked a little bit. She told me that she still wanted to be with her boyfriend because she wanted to see if she still felt the same way about him as she use too.. Fair enough I guess..
I asked her if this would change things between us, and she said no.. She still feels the same about me, she still wants to hang out with me, she still wants me to call her and text her whenever I want, even if she is with her boyfriend, she doesn't care...And then she had to go to work...
And then as I was typing this she sent me a text saying "If its meant to be it'll happen"...
I really hope thats true, because I do think its meant to be..
Last edited by LT.Victim (2008-01-03 02:05:45)
Shes at work, so its kinda hard for her to text..LT.Victim wrote:
And then as I was typing this she sent me a text saying "If its meant to be it'll happen"....
I sent her one back saying "that's what everyone keeps telling me, and I hope its true, because I really do think its meant to be.
She just sent one back saying "maybe... you just have to be patient'. but its soo funny, because I can tell shes trying to text me with no one seeing her doing it, so the spelling is all fucked and shit, it's so cute
Let me hazard a few guesses here my main man.
You're a nice guy. Smart, good at school. You make the girls laugh, but not by acting a dickhead, but being genuinely funny. You're a good friend but want to move out of the friend zone because you've grown closer to this chick.
This other guy, he's the anti you. Not smart. A bit thick really, more of a manual labourer. He can't string proper sentences together and has a tendency to be a complete ass hat at times. And he thinks he's really hot shit. You feel that he really really doesn't deserve her, and you can't see what she sees in him.
She's ideal for you, she is everything you ever wanted. You've known her for a long time, and this is reflected in your friendship. She's always had you down as an option for 'later'. She's probably even hinted at you that she'd like to go out with you 'at some point'.
So like how much of that was correct?
You're a nice guy. Smart, good at school. You make the girls laugh, but not by acting a dickhead, but being genuinely funny. You're a good friend but want to move out of the friend zone because you've grown closer to this chick.
This other guy, he's the anti you. Not smart. A bit thick really, more of a manual labourer. He can't string proper sentences together and has a tendency to be a complete ass hat at times. And he thinks he's really hot shit. You feel that he really really doesn't deserve her, and you can't see what she sees in him.
She's ideal for you, she is everything you ever wanted. You've known her for a long time, and this is reflected in your friendship. She's always had you down as an option for 'later'. She's probably even hinted at you that she'd like to go out with you 'at some point'.
So like how much of that was correct?
That much.. but me and her boyfriend are actually pretty similar, in many ways..SharkyMcshark wrote:
Let me hazard a few guesses here my main man.
You're a nice guy. Smart, good at school. You make the girls laugh, but not by acting a dickhead, but being genuinely funny. You're a good friend but want to move out of the friend zone because you've grown closer to this chick.
This other guy, he's the anti you. Not smart. A bit thick really, more of a manual labourer. He can't string proper sentences together and has a tendency to be a complete ass hat at times. And he thinks he's really hot shit. You feel that he really really doesn't deserve her, and you can't see what she sees in him.
She's ideal for you, she is everything you ever wanted. You've known her for a long time, and this is reflected in your friendship. She's always had you down as an option for 'later'. She's probably even hinted at you that she'd like to go out with you 'at some point'.
So like how much of that was correct?
LOL well I got about 66%. That's decent.
Anyway glad it's working out.
In the end my one ended with her saying she wanted to be 'more than friends' now, so I told her to come back whenever she got to a point where she'd pick me over her boyfriend (the anti me). She siad she couldn't so I told her to gtfo (well I didn't actually say gtfo I said to just forget it then).
I wasn't crushed because the prospect of going out with someone who nominated me as her next boyfriend while still seeing someone puts me off somewhat. We're still great friends though.
Anyway glad it's working out.
In the end my one ended with her saying she wanted to be 'more than friends' now, so I told her to come back whenever she got to a point where she'd pick me over her boyfriend (the anti me). She siad she couldn't so I told her to gtfo (well I didn't actually say gtfo I said to just forget it then).
I wasn't crushed because the prospect of going out with someone who nominated me as her next boyfriend while still seeing someone puts me off somewhat. We're still great friends though.
Nah,.. you said he'd been an ass dumping her twice or thrice. That doesn't compare to what you're doing/not doing right now. You're even covering his back on an internet forum; I'll doubt he would act the same in your situation now would he?LT.Victim wrote:
That much.. but me and her boyfriend are actually pretty similar, in many ways..SharkyMcshark wrote:
Let me hazard a few guesses here my main man.
You're a nice guy. Smart, good at school. You make the girls laugh, but not by acting a dickhead, but being genuinely funny. You're a good friend but want to move out of the friend zone because you've grown closer to this chick.
This other guy, he's the anti you. Not smart. A bit thick really, more of a manual labourer. He can't string proper sentences together and has a tendency to be a complete ass hat at times. And he thinks he's really hot shit. You feel that he really really doesn't deserve her, and you can't see what she sees in him.
She's ideal for you, she is everything you ever wanted. You've known her for a long time, and this is reflected in your friendship. She's always had you down as an option for 'later'. She's probably even hinted at you that she'd like to go out with you 'at some point'.
So like how much of that was correct?
So she needs time to reconsider,.. apparently she does NOT need time to reconsider her feelings for you. Which means you're on the +1 sideLT.Victim wrote:
She told me that she still wanted to be with her boyfriend because she wanted to see if she still felt the same way about him as she use too.. Fair enough I guess..
I dunno, I don't think her boyfriend really hates me all that much.. He actually is a pretty nice guy, I've talked to him a few times, just thank god I'm not friends with him, or that would make this situation even more fucked up, I don't want to loose a friend over this..Lai wrote:
Nah,.. you said he'd been an ass dumping her twice or thrice. That doesn't compare to what you're doing/not doing right now. You're even covering his back on an internet forum; I'll doubt he would act the same in your situation now would he?
She told him that she was probably going to come to my house for New Years with a bunch of my friends, and he asked if he could come too.. she said that probably wasn't a good idea since it would be really awkward between me and him, since she "sort of" talked to him about it.. He just agreed and say "ya..."
I really dunno what I'm gonna do for New Years.. It could either be really fun, or really lame, since I don't know if she is going to spend it with her boyfriend or me.. She said she wants to spend it alone, I don't blame her...
So ya, I also feel really good today, because I said I wasn't going to talk to her today unless she phoned me or texted me first, and she did..
And then I also told myself that I wasn't going to invite her over, but she asked if she could come over when she phoned me after she got off work.. So two scores for me..
Last edited by LT.Victim (2008-01-03 02:06:56)
One way ticket to Mexico my friend
Now remember your motto for the evening Vic is 'pics or it didn't happen'
don't be too sure about him not hating you. you are competition. my best friend and i were both going after the same girl a few years back and we always about 30 seconds away from kicking each others asses. even if he is a nice guy, he probably hates you, but just is too smart not to say anything.LT.Victim wrote:
I dunno, I don't think her boyfriend really hates me all that much.. He actually is a pretty nice guy, I've talked to him a few times, just thank god I'm not friends with him, or that would make this situation even more fucked up, I don't want to loose a friend over this..Lai wrote:
Nah,.. you said he'd been an ass dumping her twice or thrice. That doesn't compare to what you're doing/not doing right now. You're even covering his back on an internet forum; I'll doubt he would act the same in your situation now would he?
She told him that she was probably going to come to my house for New Years with a bunch of my friends, and he asked if he could come too.. she said that probably wasn't a good idea since it would be really awkward between me and him, since she "sort of" talked to him about it.. He just agreed and say "ya..."
I really dunno what I'm gonna do for New Years.. It could either be really fun, or really lame, since I don't know if she is going to spend it with her boyfriend or me.. She said she wants to spend it alone, I don't blame her...
So ya, I also feel really good today, because I said I wasn't going to talk to her today unless she phoned me or texted me first, and she did..
And then I also told myself that I wasn't going to invite her over, but she asked if she could come over when she phoned me after she got off work.. So two scores for me.. She also didn't see her boyfriend at all today.. she saw me before she had to work and after.. so ha
is she hot? post pix.
Fuck this New Years, why couldn't he have came back after it..
I'm suspose to go downtown with a bunch of my friends, but I don't want to go, shes not going because if she went her boyfriend would come with, and that would just be really awkward.. So then sinces shes not going, I don't want to go..
I told her that I would stay home so that she could go, but she told me to go, I told her I didn't want to, she said "me neither.. I kinda just wanna be with you"..
Why do women gotta fuck with our heads like this.. If you want to do something, then DO it.
I'm suspose to go downtown with a bunch of my friends, but I don't want to go, shes not going because if she went her boyfriend would come with, and that would just be really awkward.. So then sinces shes not going, I don't want to go..
I told her that I would stay home so that she could go, but she told me to go, I told her I didn't want to, she said "me neither.. I kinda just wanna be with you"..
Why do women gotta fuck with our heads like this.. If you want to do something, then DO it.
Last edited by LT.Victim (2008-01-03 02:07:18)
Things are these are hard on people, especially women supposedly.LT.Victim wrote:
Theres pictures on page three...Men4c3 wrote:
is she hot? post pix.
Fuck this New Years, why couldn't he have came back after it..
I'm suspose to go downtown with a bunch of my friends, but I don't want to go, shes not going because if she went her boyfriend would come with, and that would just be really awkward.. So then sinces shes not going, I don't want to go..
I told her that I would stay home so that she could go, but she told me to go, I told her I didn't want to, she said "me neither.. I kinda just wanna be with you"..
Why do women gotta fuck with our heads like this.. If you want to do something, then DO it.
I know it sounds hard, but you've just got to give her time for her to work things out in her head before anything meaningful can happen. Shame that it has to be that way, but it is. My advice? - just wait with prompts little and often to remind her you care for her and what she decides.
If you ever want to ask something, don't hesitate to PM me (or ask for my email if that's more convenient for you).
All the best,
Andy
If it's some comfort; you're not the only one at home (getting wasted) because of complicated womenLT.Victim wrote:
Theres pictures on page three...Men4c3 wrote:
is she hot? post pix.
Fuck this New Years, why couldn't he have came back after it..
I'm suspose to go downtown with a bunch of my friends, but I don't want to go, shes not going because if she went her boyfriend would come with, and that would just be really awkward.. So then sinces shes not going, I don't want to go..
I told her that I would stay home so that she could go, but she told me to go, I told her I didn't want to, she said "me neither.. I kinda just wanna be with you"..
Why do women gotta fuck with our heads like this.. If you want to do something, then DO it.
I still give you a good chance though; be patient and remember that she's probably feeling at least as crap as you, perhaps even more. Old Chinese saying goes: with new year comes new opportunities