Pages: 1 2

 

2007-07-10 13:23:04
I.M.I Militant
We Are Not Alone In Here
+297|6715|Melbourne, Australia
hey guys i dnt know anywhere else i can ask questions and get so many responses so im posting this here even though it mighten be the right place to ask

wel start with some background on me and the missus



Age: shes 17 im 16

both living at home with parents in what i would call an average househould

been togather 7 months

-----------------------

iv had this problem for as long as iv had girlfriend they come and go at my and they never lasted more then 2 or 3 weeks
so this is both our first real relationships

i have problems talking on the phone im not sure why i am a very very outgoing person with huge ammount of confidence im a very random person i have everyone in stitches with how funny and random i am and my girlfriend is the same but on the phone its just so awckward every couple i know (from those pathetic kiddyish relationships to the mature proper ones) talk on the phone everynight for hours

but i just run out of things to talk about... when im at home by myself ill always think "o i gotta talk to caitlin about this and that" but when i call her or even when im around her sometimes my mind just goes blank

i dident think it was a big deal when we first got togather because we barely knew eachother but 7 months later and nothing has changed im not sure what to expect and i dont know why it happends

i was just wondering if anyone has had the same experiences and could shed some light on how to solve such issues

THANK YOU
2007-07-10 13:24:43
Retalliation[1337]
Robin Hood ---> "u got arrownd"
+51|6470|Belgium
Strange, maybe its b/c you feel you dont need to say anything and that she gets u anyway *just a theory*
2007-07-10 13:25:35
Smitty5613
Member
+46|6522|Middle of nowhere, California
tell her "I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle." and if she ends up over your house within the next 10 mins, then you dont have to talk on the phone
2007-07-10 13:26:40
Eagle
Togs8896 is my evil alter ego
+567|6627|New Hampshire, USA
Very commmon, same thing with me and my GF.  Some people just dont like small talk I guess.
https://static.bf2s.com/files/user/14407/Sig_Pats.jpg
2007-07-10 13:26:58
buLLet_t00th
Mr. Boombastic
+178|6438|Stealth City, UK
If you're both comfortable with the silence its fine.

But on the other hand, if talking between you doesn't come naturally and you both think its weird, somethings not right!
2007-07-10 13:27:03
Hurricane
Banned
+1,153|6626|Washington, DC

Some people just don't like talking on the phone? I figure if you pay enough attention to her through other mediums (and in person of course) it's fine. I speak from theory not experience though.

To get more 'confident' with the phone I guess you just gotta do it. As for things to talk about. Do more things. Do you play an instrument? If not maybe pick up one, you could talk to her about your various adventures in learning it =p

edit: If you're still strong after 7 months, then maybe just stick to the old saying "If it ain't broke don't fix it ."

Last edited by Hurricane (2007-07-10 13:28:07)

2007-07-10 13:27:17
FathomsDown
Member
+19|6647|England
Mate, you have anothing to worry about.

I was supposed to be marrying my fiancee of two years last saturday and she had a complete mental breakdown on the Thursday night. I was told my the doctor to get her to the secure unit or she was going to get sectioned. Its cost me £5,000 and she keeps calling me every half hour and either crying or yelling at me.....

Buy yourself a magazine subscription and a box of tissues... Its a lot less hastle...
2007-07-10 13:29:39
Parker
isteal
+1,452|6390|The Gem Saloon
you have not yet reached the age, where voicing what is on your mind comes naturally.

i find myself having full on conversations with my dog about issues in my life.....not because i think the dog is listening or going to give me some sound advice, but because its good to hear my thoughts the way i say them.

it sounds weird now, but as you get older you will see.


i say, find something to talk about......but remember man, you are still young and you have plenty of time for practice.

good luck man.
2007-07-10 13:32:14
2tuff
Positive Karma Here!
+357|6771
I used to just make excuses:

"Sorry baby, my phone got wet...spent all night drying it so i could call you, it really hurt not talking to you. I love you baby."

Worked like a charm.
2007-07-10 13:35:05
Hurricane
Banned
+1,153|6626|Washington, DC

2tuff wrote:

I used to just make excuses:

"Sorry baby, my phone got wet...spent all night drying it so i could call you, it really hurt not talking to you. I love you baby."

Worked like a charm.
It needs to be something more heroic, IE "I was helping out in the war effort to push the Middle Eastern Coalition away from Washington DC" or "I was cleaning the iron gator."
2007-07-10 13:35:42
Tripp
I wanna be on you
+116|6523|So Cal
Not all couples can make conversation on the phone for extended periods of time.  You shouldn't have to match your outgoing personality in person with how you are on the phone, too much pressure, which then turns into a dud phone call.  i personally am not a phone person, so I just get through the basics "Hi how are you?" "how's the day? what did ya do?" "When do i get to see you next?" "Let's plan something." and then i'm done.  On occasion, I will have the flow to hold a conversation for a while over the phone, but other than that, I don't pressure myself to have to stay on it. 

anyways..  I know what you're saying and all I can offer is to stop pressuring yourself.

in person > phone .... anyways
2007-07-10 13:35:49
RDMC
Enemy Wheelbarrow Spotted..!!
+736|6561|Area 51

I.M.I Militant wrote:

hey guys i dnt know anywhere else i can ask questions and get so many responses so im posting this here even though it mighten be the right place to ask

wel start with some background on me and the missus



Age: shes 17 im 16

both living at home with parents in what i would call an average househould

been togather 7 months

-----------------------

iv had this problem for as long as iv had girlfriend they come and go at my and they never lasted more then 2 or 3 weeks
so this is both our first real relationships

i have problems talking on the phone im not sure why i am a very very outgoing person with huge ammount of confidence im a very random person i have everyone in stitches with how funny and random i am and my girlfriend is the same but on the phone its just so awckward every couple i know (from those pathetic kiddyish relationships to the mature proper ones) talk on the phone everynight for hours

but i just run out of things to talk about... when im at home by myself ill always think "o i gotta talk to caitlin about this and that" but when i call her or even when im around her sometimes my mind just goes blank

i dident think it was a big deal when we first got togather because we barely knew eachother but 7 months later and nothing has changed im not sure what to expect and i dont know why it happends

i was just wondering if anyone has had the same experiences and could shed some light on how to solve such issues

THANK YOU
I had the same problem, actually still have.

I'm a real outgoing person just as you, I am allways the one speaking the most loudest. Just making sure I'm present, allways know something to say, but on the phone it just feels ackward theres only been one person I've had hours of conversations with on the phone, wasn't even a girlfriend or something. I'm just lousy at making phone calls, I had exactly the same problem, I was like I'm gonna call her and ask her this and that etc etc and in the end I didn't even call at all, or would go very differently.  Dunno really how to solve this, maybe it is cuz I can't see their facial expressions and such?

I mean, with my last GF, I have send her like a million text messages, could allways talk about with her about something from person to person, but phone calls never lasted anything longer than a minute..

Last edited by RDMC(2) (2007-07-10 13:38:33)

2007-07-10 13:36:54
FathomsDown
Member
+19|6647|England

I.M.I Militant wrote:

i was just wondering if anyone has had the same experiences and could shed some light on how to solve such issues
As a good friend of mine one said:

"It if floats, flys or f**ks, its easier to rent it"
2007-07-10 13:38:49
MorbiD.ShoT
Stormin' through the party
+322|6592

I.M.I Militant wrote:

hey guys i dnt know anywhere else i can ask questions and get so many responses so im posting this here even though it mighten be the right place to ask

wel start with some background on me and the missus



Age: shes 17 im 16

both living at home with parents in what i would call an average househould

been togather 7 months

-----------------------

iv had this problem for as long as iv had girlfriend they come and go at my and they never lasted more then 2 or 3 weeks
so this is both our first real relationships

i have problems talking on the phone im not sure why i am a very very outgoing person with huge ammount of confidence im a very random person i have everyone in stitches with how funny and random i am and my girlfriend is the same but on the phone its just so awckward every couple i know (from those pathetic kiddyish relationships to the mature proper ones) talk on the phone everynight for hours

but i just run out of things to talk about... when im at home by myself ill always think "o i gotta talk to caitlin about this and that" but when i call her or even when im around her sometimes my mind just goes blank

i dident think it was a big deal when we first got togather because we barely knew eachother but 7 months later and nothing has changed im not sure what to expect and i dont know why it happends

i was just wondering if anyone has had the same experiences and could shed some light on how to solve such issues

THANK YOU
I have the same exact experience as you do.  It's no that I don't know what to talk to her about on the phone, but it's just that I hate talking on the phone with her!  I always feel like I could be doing something better, like playing a game or watching TV.  But, I'm completely wrong.  Nothing is more important to me than my family and girlfriend. 

Some people have phone phobias and they just detest talking on the phone (like myself) where others, like you, have a hard time talking, in general, on the phone. 

Really man, it's not big deal.  As long as you still have that magic when you're with her in person, then you're fine.

By the way; We're both 18.
2007-07-10 13:47:14
I.M.I Militant
We Are Not Alone In Here
+297|6715|Melbourne, Australia

Hurricane wrote:

2tuff wrote:

I used to just make excuses:

"Sorry baby, my phone got wet...spent all night drying it so i could call you, it really hurt not talking to you. I love you baby."

Worked like a charm.
It needs to be something more heroic, IE "I was helping out in the war effort to push the Middle Eastern Coalition away from Washington DC" or "I was cleaning the iron gator."
ROFL she will prob think im talking about my penis :p
2007-07-10 13:58:39
heggs
Spamalamadingdong
+581|6384|New York
Not everyone can talk on the phone for a long period of time, i.e my dad hates talking on the phone. Don't sweat it, tell her you're not much of a phone talker. She should understand, and if she doesn't, she's being unreasonable. Others who have posted earlier are right in saying that the older you get, the easier it is to speak about things at length. As I've grown older, I have found it to be less problematic to speak on the phone for extended periods of time, even though I'd rather not sometimes.
Remember Me As A Time Of Day
2007-07-10 13:59:50
Phatmatt
Vroom Vroom
+298|6185|Canada

I had the exact same thing happen to me. I went out with her for three months before I couldn't take it no more. I just hate talking on the phone! At first I was like ok why not, but then she started calling every night (I just plain stopped calling her) and we still talk hours on end. I wasn't saying much because I gotten bored of it and the fact that I couldn't go do something else made it even worst.

Now I know that staying there and saying nothing wouldn't help so I talked with her about it. I asked her to call me less often and try not to spend 3 hours on the phone when we would talk. She accepted to do what I wanted.

Great I told myself, problem solved and our relationship could go on (practically nothing besides that was wrong between us) Not even a week after is all started again. So I just stopped answering the phone and asking someone to answer and tell her that i was out and such. Our relation basically stopped there.

I was sad yet happy of what just happened. But I do miss her a lot

If anyone finds a solution to the phone problem please tell me! I don't want this to happen again, even if the odds of it happening again are high...
2007-07-10 14:02:38
Undertow007
Member
+8|6146|Rep. of Palua
shes cheating on you
2007-07-10 14:03:39
RDMC
Enemy Wheelbarrow Spotted..!!
+736|6561|Area 51

Undertow007 wrote:

shes cheating on you
That ought to boost his convidence
2007-07-10 14:04:45
ARCHANGEL1941
Hell Yeah I Suck Toes!!!
+14|6193|Cali

Undertow007 wrote:

shes cheating on you
Yeah, i got that feeling too
2007-07-10 14:05:05
Undertow007
Member
+8|6146|Rep. of Palua

RDMC(2) wrote:

Undertow007 wrote:

shes cheating on you
That ought to boost his convidence
Not to burst his bubble, but just the possible truth.

Last edited by Undertow007 (2007-07-10 14:11:50)

2007-07-10 14:09:15
ARCHANGEL1941
Hell Yeah I Suck Toes!!!
+14|6193|Cali
ok, I.M.I Militant,
Step 1: Cut a hole in the box
Step 2: Put your junk in the box
Step 3: Make her open the box...
...And that's the way you doooo it.
...It's your dick in a box!

Last edited by ARCHANGEL1941 (2007-07-10 22:56:33)

2007-07-10 15:41:31
I.M.I Militant
We Are Not Alone In Here
+297|6715|Melbourne, Australia

Undertow007 wrote:

shes cheating on you
well if ur being serious your wrong if this was a lame attempt at a joke then u failed

and finally if this was said to "cripple" my confidence and make me insecure then you failed harder then ever

but anyways nice try uh (always give credit here credit is due) *golf clap*
2007-07-10 16:17:27
{uscm}Jyden
You likey leaky?
+433|6674|In You Endo- Stoke
First off all are you fine,when you are talking face to face?

If so its just a matter of sitting there and just ask her what she is doing and what she has been upto.
Then just go from there.

Unless you just can't do small talk,then tell her.Or at least say "I'll try" so she doesn't think you just can't be arsed speaking to her.

Last edited by {uscm}Jyden (2007-07-10 16:17:43)

2007-07-10 16:23:55
icecold2510
Member
+31|6289
I have the same exact problem. When I'm with my gf (in person), we're both very talkative. We always have things to talk about. But when we're on the phone, we just are quiet after a few minutes... we both cool with the silence, but after a bit one of us says "why your being quiet" then we talk more...

 

Pages: 1 2

Board footer

Privacy Policy - © 2024 Jeff Minard