superfly_cox wrote:
Give us a little more information. Your wife saying that your marriage is dead could mean a hundred different things based on the context in which it was said, her mood at the time, her personality, recent events...etc.
->Maybe it could be a way for her to express her dissatisfaction with certain aspects of the marriage in which case you really need to start listening to what she says.
->Maybe she's being dramatic...she is a woman after all.
->Maybe she is planning to leave you (for any number of reasons).
Can't really be sure unless you give us a bit more info...if its not too personal.
True, context would help. I’m hesitant to step out on a limb here and share this, but here goes. How all this came up was she apparently looks through the cookies or whatever on the PC and found I had looked at one of the threads in here with scantily clad chicks in it. My bad, I’m a red-blooded man and I do my best not to look at stuff, but once in awhile I do - less than once a month. All of last year if I really think about it, I probably looked at stuff about 7 times the whole year. But she’s blown it out of proportion and now she thinks I’m addicted to porn and that I need to get counseling to overcome my “addiction”. She’s a woman so she has no concept what a man’s mind is like. If I was wanking every night in front of the PC, then we have a problem, but gimme a break.
She was also upset because I asked her to do more cleaning around the house. *gasp* I know, it’s such a terrible request, huh. The background on this is that she wanted to quit her full-time job after she found out she was pregnant with our 2nd child. I wrestled with it for awhile and decided if we got rid of cable and cell phones, didn’t eat out as much, and really tightened our spending, that we could do it. I agreed on the condition that she would promise to really make an effort to keep the house clean since she’d be home and I’d be working. I would still do my part, but logically, since she’s home, she has more time to do those things. She agreed.
Well, our daughter is 7 months old and sometimes for a straight week or more my wife does not clean up . . . anything. No dishes washed, no vacuuming done, no laundry washed, clutter everywhere . . . and she’s been home all 5 days. Frustrating, right? Over the last couple months I tried asking nicely, tried taking a Saturday and cleaning up the whole place so it would be easier for her to maintain, and finally tried getting all pissed off and yelling. Nothing’s worked. She says she doesn’t have a boss and that she won’t let me tell her what to do. I asked her if she remembered what she promised me when she wanted to stay home. She replied that she’ll do things “when she feels like it”, not when I tell her to. Btw, I don’t tell her to do anything, I’ve left it completely up to her to decide how to plan her day. But when she isn’t keeping up her end of the deal, I’m going to say something. She goes out whenever she wants without any complaint from me and has freedom to spend money within reason. I never go and do anything. My hobbies are the music I write and play and PC games. Sounds boring, but that’s what I like to do when I have free time and she’s not around or if she's watching some dumb chick show on tv.
I think a small part of it may be drama. When we have a conflict and she’s emotional, sometimes she’ll blow things out of proportion and suggest maybe we should get a divorce. I always say, “No, we’re discussing this one issue, I don’t want a divorce and neither do you.” Then we talk some more and work it out. This time was different, though . . . she seemed more serious. If this was just a wakeup call to me, she achieved her goal. Long, long post and probably boring most of you, but that’s the context.