So, you want to overclock?! Well you've come to the right place.
Overclocking is no easy thing to do. Countless brave men and women have been killed trying to push their CPU another GHz. That's cause they were dumbasses though.
This is a no-nonsense, expert's guide to overclocking. As Sir Kyle of Northern Ireland said, a lot of bad info is given on this forum, which is why I feel we needed an end-all topic to overclocking. This is for processors btw.
1) Boot into BIOS. Hit Delete (Del) or F2 or something a bunch of times as soon as you press the power button.
2) Okay if you see a blue screen with writing on it, you're in the BIOS. Look around a bit for the CPU settings (This is the fun part, it's like a treasure hunt)
3) If you've found it, good. Otherwise just give up now; only the strong survive. The tards end up like Jimmy Braunvurst of Norfolk Island, who accidentally blew his left kidney out trying to overclock.
4) See something that says Frontside Bus or FSB? Select it and crank it up ALL THE WAY. To quote Guitar Hero, "Eleven IS louder than ten!" Likewise, higher FSB IS faster than lower FSB.
5) Just to be safe, ramp the CPU voltage all the way up. *Smart User Tip - You will need some heavy duty cooling at this part, such as a nuclear reactor's cooling system or liquid nitrogen. Some overclocked CPUs have had nuclear meltdowns because they heated up somuch*
6) Boot in to your OS or whatever and enjoy your overclocked CPU
***FAQ***
Q: My PC doesn't work!
A: You probably didn't up the voltage enough. Switch your power supply to 220 volts, bigger IS better.
Q: What's the smoke coming from my computer?
A: Your cooling might be failing. Turn off the computer and contact the Nuclear Regulatory Commission. If they think the cooler is fine but you can't afford a stronger one, blow on the CPU a bit.
Q: How can I push it past the limit of the FSB and voltage in the BIOS?
A: This is where the experts are constantly at odds with each other. Ultimately, two methods have been generally agreed upon as effective in SUPERBOOSTING your epic overclock:
The Layman's Method - Invented by watch seller Mikhail Vaskanakov, this is a relatively crude but effective method of superboosting your overclock. It involves taking a wrist watch and taping it near the CPU. To ensure proper function, you might want to make sure your cooling system is also cooling the watch.
The Copenhagen Method - This is a more complicated but generally powerful method. Invented by scientist Niels Bohr, you will need a wrist watch AND a relatively powerful but small FM radio transmitter. Like the layman's method, tape the watch and cool it. Then tune the transmitter to the CPU's frequency (explained in Chris Brown's How to Tune Radio Transmitters for the Blind, Deaf, Dumb, and Moronic). This will increase your CPU speed exponentially AND hyperbolically.
Some have also experimented with combining both methods; essentially culminating in two watches and one transmitter. This has been good and bad. In Switzerland, a powerful particle accelerator is powered by the combination. In contrast, the horrific Chernobyl nuclear meltdown was caused not by mismanagement but by a failing combination of the Layman and Copenhagen method.
I hope this guide has been helpful. Please keep an eye out for Squeezing as Much FPS as You Can Out of a Game, set to release in August!
Overclocking is no easy thing to do. Countless brave men and women have been killed trying to push their CPU another GHz. That's cause they were dumbasses though.
This is a no-nonsense, expert's guide to overclocking. As Sir Kyle of Northern Ireland said, a lot of bad info is given on this forum, which is why I feel we needed an end-all topic to overclocking. This is for processors btw.
1) Boot into BIOS. Hit Delete (Del) or F2 or something a bunch of times as soon as you press the power button.
2) Okay if you see a blue screen with writing on it, you're in the BIOS. Look around a bit for the CPU settings (This is the fun part, it's like a treasure hunt)
3) If you've found it, good. Otherwise just give up now; only the strong survive. The tards end up like Jimmy Braunvurst of Norfolk Island, who accidentally blew his left kidney out trying to overclock.
4) See something that says Frontside Bus or FSB? Select it and crank it up ALL THE WAY. To quote Guitar Hero, "Eleven IS louder than ten!" Likewise, higher FSB IS faster than lower FSB.
5) Just to be safe, ramp the CPU voltage all the way up. *Smart User Tip - You will need some heavy duty cooling at this part, such as a nuclear reactor's cooling system or liquid nitrogen. Some overclocked CPUs have had nuclear meltdowns because they heated up somuch*
6) Boot in to your OS or whatever and enjoy your overclocked CPU
***FAQ***
Q: My PC doesn't work!
A: You probably didn't up the voltage enough. Switch your power supply to 220 volts, bigger IS better.
Q: What's the smoke coming from my computer?
A: Your cooling might be failing. Turn off the computer and contact the Nuclear Regulatory Commission. If they think the cooler is fine but you can't afford a stronger one, blow on the CPU a bit.
Q: How can I push it past the limit of the FSB and voltage in the BIOS?
A: This is where the experts are constantly at odds with each other. Ultimately, two methods have been generally agreed upon as effective in SUPERBOOSTING your epic overclock:
The Layman's Method - Invented by watch seller Mikhail Vaskanakov, this is a relatively crude but effective method of superboosting your overclock. It involves taking a wrist watch and taping it near the CPU. To ensure proper function, you might want to make sure your cooling system is also cooling the watch.
The Copenhagen Method - This is a more complicated but generally powerful method. Invented by scientist Niels Bohr, you will need a wrist watch AND a relatively powerful but small FM radio transmitter. Like the layman's method, tape the watch and cool it. Then tune the transmitter to the CPU's frequency (explained in Chris Brown's How to Tune Radio Transmitters for the Blind, Deaf, Dumb, and Moronic). This will increase your CPU speed exponentially AND hyperbolically.
Some have also experimented with combining both methods; essentially culminating in two watches and one transmitter. This has been good and bad. In Switzerland, a powerful particle accelerator is powered by the combination. In contrast, the horrific Chernobyl nuclear meltdown was caused not by mismanagement but by a failing combination of the Layman and Copenhagen method.
I hope this guide has been helpful. Please keep an eye out for Squeezing as Much FPS as You Can Out of a Game, set to release in August!
