mtb0minime
minimember
+2,418|6625

So you've stumbled upon this website because you still play Battlefield 2 and wanted to know if there are any other maps aside from Kirkland. Well have no fear, I can make you a forum pro is under a minute! "How you make me pro points on forum, is that not padding stats?" you might ask. NO! IT ISN'T! Don't expect to find anything related to Battlefield 2 in this forum.

This is an overview of some of the threads you can expect to find here, and how you should reply to each one. If you pull off the right response, people here might think you're an old regular back from the dead, ready to get posting again! Furthermore, you'll be able to cement yourself into the community and prove to the internet that you are


First off, the basic EE Chat thread. In fact, this can cover anything that goes on in the Everything Else section, as it's all a blended mess of spam. Here is an example of some posts you can expect to find:

User A wrote:

MALAKRAIRIRKRIKARIKA!

User B wrote:

lololololololololololol

User C wrote:

wat

User A wrote:

lololololololololtrolled

User B wrote:

wut

User C wrote:

omgomgomgomghahahahalololololfuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
You're probably confused as heck right now but don't worry, you'll pick it up quickly! Here is how you should respond.

you wrote:

lolwut tahts so
And there you have it! Instant success!


Now, let's move on to another popular section of the Battlefield 2 Statistics forum. Debate and Serious Talk! Ooh, sounds scary, I know, but trust me, there's nothing serious or debatable about it. I'll show you why with an example post that you can find in 100% of all D&ST threads:

User A wrote:

I saw a story in the news about how an illegal immigrant who was a Muslim went to an abortion clinic to have her baby removed but turns out the baby was made of C4 and she blew the whole place up.

User B wrote:

You're racist!

User A wrote:

no u

User B wrote:

no u

User A wrote:

no u

User B wrote:

no u

User A wrote:

no u

User B wrote:

no u
I know what you're thinking, that you should reply with "no u", but that's not the right thing to do! Instead you should reply with something along the lines of:

you wrote:

I love George Bush and I love Barack Obama I think they should've ran together for co-president and the world would live happily ever after. Oh and USA AMERICA ROCKS FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's as easy as that You'll be "debating" like a pro in no time!


Next up, the thing you're here for... the gaming section! Not much else to say about this section, so have a look at an example post:

User A wrote:

____* is a good game
{*insert any videogame made after the year 1999 here}

User B wrote:

stfu taht game sucks nooooooooooooooo0000000oooooooooo000oooo0o0o0o0oo000b!!

User A wrote:

No it's awesome!!!!!!!!!

User B wrote:

No it's nooooot!!!!!!!!!

User A wrote:

You're a console tard!

User B wrote:

no u

User A wrote:

no u

User B wrote:

no u
So, how are you going to appease both parties and demonstrate that you are the new user on the block? Easy! Say the following:

you wrote:

Super Mario for the NES was pretty cool
Congratulations! The thread is now in your control! Here's what the results would look like after your comment:

User A wrote:

yeah

User B wrote:

User A wrote:

yeah

User C wrote:

User B wrote:

User A wrote:

yeah

User D wrote:

User C wrote:

User B wrote:

User E wrote:

User D wrote:

User C wrote:

Of course, you can't become super cool and respected on a forum if you only stick to a few general sections. You will also need to stop by some specific threads to make yourself known and show off how you are. The following threads are in no particular order...

Bf2s AU Chat
Pretty much all anyone says in here is:

User A wrote:

mate

User B wrote:

m8

User A wrote:

mate

User B wrote:

m8

User A wrote:

mate

User B wrote:

m8

User C wrote:

uwotm8
Obviously, your response should be one of the following:

you wrote:

Kangaroos mate

you wrote:

Boomerangs mate

you wrote:

mate mate
Congratulations on becoming popular amongst the AU crowd! You're so close to being the most person on the site, keep going!

The Bf2s girl-problems thread
Example post:

User A wrote:

How I get cute girl if she not know me and I not know her? Also I don't want to talk to her and she not talk me. Also I not wear deodorant. What I do????
Now here is what you say:

you wrote:

Help me I haven't had sex in forever! It's been like... 10 minutes!
Be absolutely sure you put the face in your post! Otherwise no one will understand your gloating. You could even post a picture like this to gloat even more:

you wrote:

And here's pics because it did happen
https://4bbr7q.bay.livefilestore.com/y1pGjZjyc7VZOm5M4logN--SejRh-nwx4DVsutgzEjXtNwik3TDCh0hVNLmFl0qfHF9CLjk2CiaVUMoyzpARvLJ_I0YtMYKeuVD/girlfriend.jpg

any Tech thread
You can't be without a huge e-penis, right? This is the section for you! It's the e-Swedish e-penis e-pump for e-increasing the e-size of your e-penis by 30 e-inches!
Example post:

User A wrote:

I have a 20 MB/s down speed

User B wrote:

Well I have a 30 MB/s down speed

User A wrote:

Well I have a 50 MB/s down speed

User B wrote:

Well I have a 90 MB/s down speed

User A wrote:

Well I have a 100 MB/s down speed

User B wrote:

Nuh uh!

User A wrote:

Uh huh!

User B wrote:

Nuh uh!

User A wrote:

Uh huh!

User B wrote:

Nuh uh!

User A wrote:

Uh huh!
The best way to enter this conversation is with a picture and no text. Shakespeare once said that "brevity is the soul of wit", so to be truly , you must simply post a picture of your net speed and then walk away. People will think you are a legend. "But I don't have good internets?" you might be thinking. Don't worry! There's a simple way to forge your internet speed, and the tools are already at your fingertips!
First, go to speedtest.net and test your internet connection, then take a screenshot of the results and paste it into mspaint. Here's where things get tricky. With careful attention to detail, you can 'shop this baby to make it look like you have the best internet connection around! Here, take a look at a picture I made for you; just copy/paste this baby into any tech thread and watch your e-penis grow!
https://4bbr7q.bay.livefilestore.com/y1pMvgw6lHKkZYnop4vKEUwnMfFXMZXVeaDkZNjnNTgoeCSxihv1webkyUBSttLbesV6xHaENm93SHFOzVX0N53pVkoNCQfu1O9/speedtest.png
right? Yeah, it's super

Workout/Diet Programs
How can you not be if no one thinks you can bench press 20 cars!? A typical conversation in this thread goes like this:

User A wrote:

I can lift 10 pounds

User B wrote:

Well I can lift 20!

User C wrote:

How I get skinny without going to gym? Also I want to eat McDonald's. Also I want to eat McDonald's 20 times a week. Also I want to not go to gym. Also I want to get skinny to get hot babe that I don't want to talk to.
Again, it's best to respond with a simple picture and walk away, leaving people in awe. And yet again, a simple 'shop in mspaint will work wonders for your reputation! Here is mine:
https://4bbr7q.bay.livefilestore.com/y1pWIKPnguhSCo_Rt8_6OyPqEEkqLmwtoIfd8RCyW8MPf2Bido8WIO7SVSQxHBQjZKcp_Nl3xbrKu1yMX6gZ_Q6YkE-YSPxUwtH/muscular.jpg
See how seamless it is? No one will be able to tell the difference! Just put your own picture above mine and you'll be soooooooo

any Music thread
A typical conversation usually goes like this:

User A wrote:

I like _insert_artist_here_. I'd link you to some music, but it's on a private tracker.

User B wrote:

Well I like _insert_artist_here_. I'd link you to some music, but the only link I have is from DARPAnet, so I think it's inactive nowadays.
Now all you have to do is interject with the following:

you wrote:

I like a really good artist but I don't want to say his or her name because then he or she would lose street cred. This person hasn't even recorded any music yet, that's how underground they are.
Is that ? Heck yes that's !


However, don't think you can just go posting anywhere you want, willy-nilly. No! There are some sections you must never post in, otherwise it could hurt your reputation and factor. The one and only place you should never post in is the Battlefield section, especially the Battlefield 2 section. Did you really think this website was centered around BF2? You can't be serious if you actually did. I would almost suggest that an exception would be if you posted something about how terrible BF2 was, but you'd lose points for not saying it 10 years ago when the game was first released, so you're a little late to the party.


And that about wraps this up! Follow these simple rules and you'll be in no time!

Lastly, if you really really want to know your shit and truly act like you're an old member back from the dead, read up on our beloved SEREMAKER's History of BF2s.com

Last edited by mtb0minime (2010-05-13 15:00:55)

Mekstizzle
WALKER
+3,611|6592|London, England
Who is that poor bastard you keep pasting into all those photos, haha... well played botimine, well played.
Chou
Member
+737|6761
https://uppix.net/8/b/a/c1b6e3b021f6184dafffb8d3f1b8e.jpg
Brasso
member
+1,549|6601

man that fucker you keep photoshopping in is ugly
"people in ny have a general idea of how to drive. one of the pedals goes forward the other one prevents you from dying"
mkxiii
online bf2s mek evasion
+509|6207|Uk
https://myspace.roflposters.com/images/rofl/myspace/1207595977477.jpg.%5Broflposters.com%5D.myspace.jpg
Finray
Hup! Dos, Tres, Cuatro
+2,629|5759|Catherine Black
boasting in epic thread


https://public.bay.livefilestore.com/y1pZ7oMiOt1c60OlAD53yeUeaX7UZzYeyloNvQQcLThtB_uLkUjXHM8uPg-ZYqHZFyYkPFXesHlltT8CE6iQH_9iw/speedtest.png
https://i.imgur.com/qwWEP9F.png
Ryan
Member
+1,230|6814|Alberta, Canada

Are you mocking us fagit?

haffeysucks wrote:

man that fucker you keep photoshopping in is ugly
Looks like Stephen Harper.

https://www.lilith-ezine.com/articles/canada/2007/images/Stephen-Harper-03.jpghttps://4bbr7q.bay.livefilestore.com/y1pGjZjyc7VZOm5M4logN--SejRh-nwx4DVsutgzEjXtNwik3TDCh0hVNLmFl0qfHF9CLjk2CiaVUMoyzpARvLJ_I0YtMYKeuVD/girlfriend.jpg

Last edited by Ryan (2010-05-06 17:51:19)

Flaming_Maniac
prince of insufficient light
+2,490|6677|67.222.138.85
13urnzz
Banned
+5,830|6468

hey mtb0minime, you forgot about the part how some mods can impact a forum. /\
FatherTed
xD
+3,936|6471|so randum
miss you burnz xx
Small hourglass island
Always raining and foggy
Use an umbrella
mtb0minime
minimember
+2,418|6625

burnzz wrote:

hey mtb0minime, you forgot about the part how some mods can impact a forum. /\



If I included that part this thread wouldn't be here
Metal-Eater-GR
I can haz titanium paancakez?
+490|6243
would read again. This should be mandatory for every new user
Eifa
Never regret anything that ever made you smile.
+923|5842|00770
https://img59.imageshack.us/img59/9111/roflz.gif
No, I don't need an attitude adjustment. You just need to fuck off.
baggs
Member
+732|6175
Matt that is hilarious.
mkxiii
online bf2s mek evasion
+509|6207|Uk

Metal-Eater-GR wrote:

would read again. This should be mandatory for every new user
That, put it in the noob section
AussieReaper
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
+5,761|6123|what

This thread: https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v83/rac_goshawk/awesomination.gif
https://i.imgur.com/maVpUMN.png
Varegg
Support fanatic :-)
+2,206|6781|Nårvei

The complete guide to understanding bf2s.com ...

Excellent thread
Wait behind the line ..............................................................
max
Vela Incident
+1,652|6538|NYC / Hamburg

once upon a midnight dreary, while i pron surfed, weak and weary, over many a strange and spurious site of ' hot  xxx galore'. While i clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour, " 'Tis not possible!", i muttered, " give me back my free hardcore!"..... quoth the server, 404.
Morpheus
This shit still going?
+508|5970|The Mitten
https://static.bf2s.com/files/user/31499/aussieawsm.png
EE (hats
Superior Mind
(not macbeth)
+1,755|6663
tl;dr
War Man
Australians are hermaphrodites.
+563|6684|Purplicious Wisconsin
Should add some details of famous bf2sers
The irony of guns, is that they can save lives.
mtb0minime
minimember
+2,418|6625

Superior Mind wrote:

tl;dr
har har har, now read it cunt

but seriously, apparently it's funny and worth it


War Man wrote:

Should add some details of famous bf2sers
I was considering doing a "Meet The Members" thread, but it'll be much too long, will probably miss a few people and they'll get pissed they're not included in the circle jerk, and will probably wind up offending people and I'd get banned byfor flaming.
War Man
Australians are hermaphrodites.
+563|6684|Purplicious Wisconsin
Understandable
The irony of guns, is that they can save lives.
Superior Mind
(not macbeth)
+1,755|6663
steelie34
pub hero!
+603|6352|the land of bourbon
https://bf3s.com/sigs/36e1d9e36ae924048a933db90fb05bb247fe315e.png

Board footer

Privacy Policy - © 2024 Jeff Minard