So she knocks on my door, I say come in, she gives me a note and leaves.
Firstly, she's 31. A 31 still writing notes because she lacks confidence is discussion. So let me tell you a little about this bitch. I've lived with her for about 2 months and she quite literally does my head in. Two kids, 5 and 11. Divorced with a boyfriend who lives on the other side of the country. Anyway, she has an irrational fear washing up liquid that I don't get. I have to stack up all of my plates and, at the end of every second day, wash them up in a huge sink with 1 cap full of washing up liquid. Anyway, I did this and she wrote me a note about a month ago, requesting that I buy my own washing up liquid. So I pop down to the shops, spend $1 on the cheapo brand and take it home.
Next morning, another note on the table. "The dish washing liquid you bought is too harsh on the dishes, please buy the brand I use." So yeah. I go out and spend nearly $5 on some eco friendly washing up liquid just to shut the bitch up. Anyway, things are fine for a week. Another note on the table saying that I don't communicate with her kids enough. Which is fucking rich coming from this slut, seeing as she spends pretty much all day on the phone to people while her kids bark around her legs like two pygmy possums who want to suck on their mum's underbelly. Anyway, I'm not living in this house to socialise with two kids, I'm 18 and couldn't give a shit what she thinks. I didn't leave a note, but I didn't make any attempt to reach out to the kids.
Anyway yeah, so this note says that, because I don't communicate enough with her kids, she wants me to move out. She's given me two weeks (yeah, right before Christmas, epic right?) And has already found someone else to move in. So I'm in disbelief that, because I don't talk to two children who's combined ages don't reach mine, I have to move out and find somewhere else to live just two seems before Christmas.
So anyway. Last night, I'm in the toilet, it must have been about 2am? Just before bed. This woman has been constantly pissing me off, annoys the hell out of me, and now kicks me out (I'm fairly sure she wants to keep the bond as she's unemployed)
So I think hey, what the hell? You know the back part of the toilet, that little lid you can take off? Well. After mustering up enough balance, I managed to position my anus over the top of it, and in one, long, gutwrenching squeeze, mustered out one of the largest shits I have ever done in my life (The water in it sploshed up around my nutsack area, it was that big) so, at some stage during the next week she's going to find I left her an early Christmas present.
Just thought I'd share.
Firstly, she's 31. A 31 still writing notes because she lacks confidence is discussion. So let me tell you a little about this bitch. I've lived with her for about 2 months and she quite literally does my head in. Two kids, 5 and 11. Divorced with a boyfriend who lives on the other side of the country. Anyway, she has an irrational fear washing up liquid that I don't get. I have to stack up all of my plates and, at the end of every second day, wash them up in a huge sink with 1 cap full of washing up liquid. Anyway, I did this and she wrote me a note about a month ago, requesting that I buy my own washing up liquid. So I pop down to the shops, spend $1 on the cheapo brand and take it home.
Next morning, another note on the table. "The dish washing liquid you bought is too harsh on the dishes, please buy the brand I use." So yeah. I go out and spend nearly $5 on some eco friendly washing up liquid just to shut the bitch up. Anyway, things are fine for a week. Another note on the table saying that I don't communicate with her kids enough. Which is fucking rich coming from this slut, seeing as she spends pretty much all day on the phone to people while her kids bark around her legs like two pygmy possums who want to suck on their mum's underbelly. Anyway, I'm not living in this house to socialise with two kids, I'm 18 and couldn't give a shit what she thinks. I didn't leave a note, but I didn't make any attempt to reach out to the kids.
Anyway yeah, so this note says that, because I don't communicate enough with her kids, she wants me to move out. She's given me two weeks (yeah, right before Christmas, epic right?) And has already found someone else to move in. So I'm in disbelief that, because I don't talk to two children who's combined ages don't reach mine, I have to move out and find somewhere else to live just two seems before Christmas.
So anyway. Last night, I'm in the toilet, it must have been about 2am? Just before bed. This woman has been constantly pissing me off, annoys the hell out of me, and now kicks me out (I'm fairly sure she wants to keep the bond as she's unemployed)
So I think hey, what the hell? You know the back part of the toilet, that little lid you can take off? Well. After mustering up enough balance, I managed to position my anus over the top of it, and in one, long, gutwrenching squeeze, mustered out one of the largest shits I have ever done in my life (The water in it sploshed up around my nutsack area, it was that big) so, at some stage during the next week she's going to find I left her an early Christmas present.
Just thought I'd share.
