Now that's what I call a shitty situation!

2009-06-11 14:26:20

#1

GravyDan: Back from the Grave(y); +768|5932|CA

So, today I shit the bed. Not just any bed, but my girlfriends bed. With her in it.

It all started innocently enough. As I lay naked in bed, enjoying my morning coffee, I realized I had to squeeze of a little fart. I let it loose, and almost immediately my girlfriend reacted. She proclaimed "My god, that smells poopie!" How right she was. An instant later, I felt an unfamiliar wetness between my cheeks. I jumped out of the bed to discover a quarter sized oily discharge where my ass had been only a moment before.

I now realize that I can no longer trust my ass. We've been through much together, and I thought that we had an understanding. However, I now see my ass for what it is: a lying asshole.

Please feel free to share any ass or poop related stories. Surely, I can not be the only one deceived by an asshole. Make me feel a little better about my bed shitting problem, bf2s.

2009-06-11 14:28:03

#2

Ilocano: buuuurrrrrrppppp.......; +341|6667

Naked farting is never a good idea...

2009-06-11 14:28:54

#3

Uzique: dasein.; +2,865|6470

I farted once whilst my girlfriend was licking my rim.

Never again.

_{libertarian benefit collector - anti-academic super-intellectual}. _{http://mixlr.com/the-little-phrase/}

2009-06-11 14:29:49

#4

Mekstizzle: WALKER; +3,611|6621|London, England

Well I guess that's why they call you Gravy Dan, eh

Uzique wrote:
I farted once whilst my girlfriend was licking my rim.

Never again.

for fuck sake!

brilliant.

Last edited by Mekstizzle (2009-06-11 14:30:29)

2009-06-11 14:30:02

#5

Gooners: Wiki Contributor; +2,700|6632

oh my

2009-06-11 14:30:32

#6

Aries_37: arrivederci frog; +368|6575|London

HAhAHAHAhaHAAHAaAH

I hope she dumps your farting ass

2009-06-11 14:32:15

#7

Metal-Eater-GR: I can haz titanium paancakez?; +490|6272

Fuckin' gold.

2009-06-11 14:32:39

#8

SamBo:D: Banned; +236|5497|England

I shit my self in year 3 once during PE, unfortunately I also wet myself earlier so I was just wearing shorts and no pants at the time.

I didn't want to have to embarrassment of poo falling out of my shorts during a game of netball so I had to catch the few nuggets of poo that came out my bum. Now obviously I couldn't just carry them till I found a hiding place for it, people would see/smell me. So I had to eat it.

Didn't taste too good but it was worth it

2009-06-11 14:33:14

#9

m3thod: All kiiiiiiiiinds of gainz; +2,197|6671|UK

some geordie bird was was rimming me once and she stuck her tounge up my hole.

there was defo fibre up there.

Last edited by m3thod (2009-06-11 14:33:30)

Blackbelts are just whitebelts who have never quit.

2009-06-11 14:33:36

#10

Uzique: dasein.; +2,865|6470

SamBo:D wrote:
I shit my self in year 3 once during PE, unfortunately I also wet myself earlier so I was just wearing shorts and no pants at the time.

I didn't want to have to embarrassment of poo falling out of my shorts during a game of netball so I had to catch the few nuggets of poo that came out my bum. Now obviously I couldn't just carry them till I found a hiding place for it, people would see/smell me. So I had to eat it.

Didn't taste too good but it was worth it

2/10.

_{libertarian benefit collector - anti-academic super-intellectual}. _{http://mixlr.com/the-little-phrase/}

2009-06-11 14:34:25

#11

.Sup: be nice; +2,646|6453|The Twilight Zone

hahaha lold
you need something to seal the anal opening though

https://www.shrani.si/f/3H/7h/45GTw71U/untitled-1.png

2009-06-11 14:34:29

#12

King_County_Downy: shitfaced; +2,791|6597|Seattle

I shat myself one time coming back from lunch at work. I was driving over a speed bump when I felt a hot one coming on. So I lifted a leg to the side (didn't want to inject my own car seat with poof), and let it rip. And boy did I.

I had to cal into work and tell them I spilled my lunch in my lap and had to go home to change.

On another note. My buddy pissed my Futon once because we got him drunk off Tequila. We still call him "Timmy Pee-Pee Pants" He hates us when we bring it up.

Sober enough to know what I'm doing, drunk enough to really enjoy doing it

2009-06-11 14:34:48

#13

Ty: Mass Media Casualty; +2,398|6774|Noizyland

Well done everone... just well done. My opinions of you all just sank like the New Zealand dollar.

Closed

Edit: Downy too!? Dear God...

Editx2: FINE I'll re-open the bloody thing. Have your poo-themed fun.

Last edited by Ty (2009-06-11 14:35:51)

[Blinking eyes thing]
Steam: http://steamcommunity.com/id/tzyon

2009-06-11 14:48:22

#14

Metal-Eater-GR: I can haz titanium paancakez?; +490|6272

Ty wrote:
Well done everone... just well done. My opinions of you all just sank like the New Zealand dollar.

Closed

Edit: Downy too!? Dear God...

Editx2: FINE I'll re-open the bloody thing. Have your poo-themed fun.

<3

2009-06-11 14:49:03

#15

FFLink: There is.; +1,380|6690|Devon, England

Ha ha, I lol'd all over this page.

It felt good.

2009-06-11 14:50:36

#16

justice: OctoPoster; +978|6741|OctoLand

Look at Ty being a good sport like that, everybody karma this man.

I know fucking karate

2009-06-11 14:51:08

#17

Gooners: Wiki Contributor; +2,700|6632

He already got about 6 karma asking him to re open it

2009-06-11 14:51:29

#18

SamBo:D: Banned; +236|5497|England

justice wrote:
Look at Ty being a good sport like that, everybody karma this man.

Done

2009-06-11 14:53:39

#19

Uzique: dasein.; +2,865|6470

Ty is just touchy because, in truth, during his own childbirth his mummy let out a little poo-poo. She just couldn't hold it together during such strenuous pushing- what with all that straining...

Traumatised ever since I reckon; being inadvertently delivered as a water-baby into a fecal pool... cannot be pretty.

/FLAMESUIT THIS IS A FLAMESUIT NO BANS HERE FLAMESUIT THIS IS A FLAMESUIT NO BANS HERE.

_{libertarian benefit collector - anti-academic super-intellectual}. _{http://mixlr.com/the-little-phrase/}

2009-06-11 14:54:35

#20

Jenspm: penis; +1,716|6732|St. Andrews / Oslo

justice wrote:
Look at Ty being a good sport like that, everybody karma this man.

push-over moar like.

<3

https://static.bf2s.com/files/user/26774/flickricon.png

2009-06-11 14:56:00

#21

ColCarnage: taw; +283|5595

lulz

2009-06-11 14:56:23

#22

bennisboy: Member; +829|6646|Poundland

Thanks for opening it Ty, I reckon it was my karma!

HAHAHAHA Erm well I was at this girl who I went to school with's house over summer, we both got quite drunk. Made out.
Woke up the next mornin, felt like I needed to fart violently, but held it in n went downstairs to the toilet to release it with dignity. Sat on the toilet and my ass exploded. It was like projectile diarrhea. Splattered the whole damn toilet bowl. Took me forever to clean up! Never been as glad in my life that I held in a fart. I'd had feelings for this girl for like 2 years, n this was the first (but not the last) time something had happened. Imagine if I hadnt held it in, the laughing stock I'd have been, shitting a girls bed!

To add to the hilarity I went home to shower, needed to fart again n thought it would now be safe, but a little bit of liquidy poo flew out my ass again. Luckily the shower has a big plughole so it went without any further drama. Made me laugh so hard tho.

The moral of that story is dont get hammered on lots of cider and rum

2009-06-11 14:58:46

#23

Ty: Mass Media Casualty; +2,398|6774|Noizyland

Well Uzique isn't the statistic something like 85% of women crap themselves during childbirth? Kinda takes away the romantic notion of it doesn't it, (if childbirth itself didn't already remove any and all romantic notion by itself.) I should ask mumsie if that's what happened.

"Mum, did you crap yourself when giving birth to me?"
"... go to your room."
"I'm 21 Mum."

On another note I know how I can get easy karma from you guys: I got five karma points from people asking why I closed this and two more when I re-opened it. Now excuse me I'm off to close the "EE Chat - June" thread...

[Blinking eyes thing]
Steam: http://steamcommunity.com/id/tzyon

2009-06-11 15:00:02

#24

Mekstizzle: WALKER; +3,611|6621|London, England

Maybe if all you fags stopped taking it up the arse so much etc etc..

On another note I know how I can get easy karma from you guys: I got five karma points from people asking why I closed this and two more when I re-opened it. Now excuse me I'm off to close the "EE Chat - June" thread...

Actually, Tie, my Karma was more of a bemusement at how your opinion of us could have possibly gone as low as the worthiness of the NZ currency

Last edited by Mekstizzle (2009-06-11 15:01:11)

2009-06-11 15:01:12

#25

Finray: Hup! Dos, Tres, Cuatro; +2,629|5788|Catherine Black

Ty wrote:
"Mum, did you crap yourself when giving birth to me?"
"... go to your room."
"I'm 21 Mum."

BF2S Forums Now that's what I call a shitty situation!

Uzique wrote:

SamBo:D wrote:

Ty wrote:

justice wrote:

justice wrote:

Ty wrote:

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