domestic abuse

2009-03-08 13:10:45

#1

Hurricane2k9: Pendulous Sweaty Balls; +1,538|6005|College Park, MD

My friend's friend has an ex-boyfriend who hits her and abuses her. She still loves him despite the shit he puts her through. What should my friend do? I'm telling him he should consider calling the cops on that punk but I've heard stories where victims of abuse won't testify against them out of fear of retribution or fear of losing the one thing they have.

Any help?

edit -- According to him, she's hesitant on calling the cops probably for those reasons I put above.

Last edited by Hurricane2k9 (2009-03-08 13:12:00)

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2009-03-08 13:16:08

#2

m3thod: All kiiiiiiiiinds of gainz; +2,197|6974|UK

serge posted somthing similar ages ago, might be worth looking in that thread for guidance too.

Blackbelts are just whitebelts who have never quit.

2009-03-08 13:18:17

#3

ATG: Banned; +5,233|6832|Global Command

The next time he beats her, why don't you file a report?

Also, maybe give her information on the local battered womens shelter. They have great resources to help girls deal with that garbage.

2009-03-08 13:35:13

#4

Karbin: Member; +42|6597

Hurricane2k9 wrote:
My friend's friend has an ex-boyfriend who hits her and abuses her. She still loves him despite the shit he puts her through. What should my friend do? I'm telling him he should consider calling the cops on that punk but I've heard stories where victims of abuse won't testify against them out of fear of retribution or fear of losing the one thing they have.

Any help?

edit -- According to him, she's hesitant on calling the cops probably for those reasons I put above.

Depends on the local laws. Some places the cops will charge, and the abuser prosecuted even if the victim backs out or refuse's to testify.
Check the laws in your area.

2009-03-08 13:55:31

#5

ghettoperson: Member; +1,943|6952

Punch him in the genitals.

2009-03-08 14:10:27

#6

Vilham: Say wat!?; +580|7069|UK

ghettoperson wrote:
Punch him in the genitals.

this. get together a mob and give him a beat down.

2009-03-08 16:08:02

#7

RAIMIUS: You with the face!; +244|7017|US

Get out.
Seriously, she needs to get distance from him.
She should think about a restaining order as well (only if he is likey to follow it).

2009-03-08 16:32:32

#8

Kmar: Truth is my Bitch; +5,695|6904|132 and Bush

Get out. How many times have you heard of a guy saying, "Hey at least I'm not hitting you anymore".. It won't stop. There are only temporary moments of remorse.

Xbone Stormsurgezz

2009-03-08 16:52:22

#9

OrangeHound: Busy doing highfalutin adminy stuff ...; +1,335|6952|Washington DC

These situations can be horrible ... actually, if you report the guy then he might take it out on the woman ... and she will likely go back to him.

But, if she is willing to leave, there are anonymous women's shelters that can protect her and help her.

2009-03-08 18:25:28

#10

rdx-fx: ...; +955|6894

The one major counter-intuitive detail you must take into consideration, is;

In a domestic violence situation, it is highly likely that any interference by a third party (that's you) is going to result in both members of the couple (Bubba Beatdown and Becky Blackeye) directing their anger at you. There's a pile of hate and violence between them - do you want to be the new target for both of them?

It doesn't make sense, it isn't fair, and it isn't right.. but there it is. Ask ANY cop which calls they hate to go out on the most - 'domestic disturbance' calls will be in the top 5 list.

You just might save her life by getting involved, but you're highly likely to cause a pile of grief for yourself and lose her friendship.

Not saying 'don't do anything'. I am saying 'go in with your eyes open, aware of risks and consequence'.

She needs to get out of there. First step, though, is that she needs to realize that she needs to get out of there.
Those kind of guys never change. They're a head full of scramblefuck -- and you can't unscramble bad eggs like that.

Last edited by rdx-fx (2009-03-08 18:29:28)

2009-03-08 18:43:12

#11

FatherTed: xD; +3,936|6803|so randum

gs on fb wrote:
nobody likes a captain-save-a hoe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WCm2CCm-Z3E

Last edited by FatherTed (2009-03-08 18:48:00)

Small hourglass island
Always raining and foggy
Use an umbrella

2009-03-08 21:33:51

#12

Catbox: forgiveness; +505|7019

How old is she? If she is young and lives with her folks you or someone else can call and explain to the parents what's going on...
I live in Va and i can take a drive to DC and show him what its like to be hit....lol... It's a crappy situation because you want to help... but it's hard to tell how everyone will react...?

Love is the answer

2009-03-08 21:40:43

#13

lowing: Banned; +1,662|6954|USA

Hurricane2k9 wrote:
My friend's friend has an ex-boyfriend who hits her and abuses her. She still loves him despite the shit he puts her through. What should my friend do? I'm telling him he should consider calling the cops on that punk but I've heard stories where victims of abuse won't testify against them out of fear of retribution or fear of losing the one thing they have.

Any help?

edit -- According to him, she's hesitant on calling the cops probably for those reasons I put above.

She should arm herself and kill the fucker the next time he threatens her. End of story.

2009-03-08 21:48:00

#14

Macbeth: Banned; +2,444|5888

Whatever move made against her boyfriend from a outside source such as yourself would only push her closer to him. The best course of action would be to destroy the boyfriend by use of the law. But not for domestic abuse, it'll bring them closer together. If you could set the boyfriend up and get him arrested with a decent supply of drugs, he will be punished harshly. He will be arrested and charged, and maybe do some jail time. From the resulting time in jail she has time to figure herself out and will in due time find another man to latch onto.

But nobody must ever find out it was you who set the boyfriend up. Under no circumstance must a friend or family member find out. It'll cause distrust and resentment. Act with surprise when you find out of his arrest and show no happiness in it.

2009-03-08 23:16:46

#15

Lotta_Drool: Spit; +350|6486|Ireland

Do she have kids. If she does she can just blame shit on them so they can take the beatings.

2009-03-09 00:29:51

#16

Dilbert_X: The X stands for; +1,817|6409|eXtreme to the maX

Tell the police

or

Tell the bloke any tiny hint of more trouble and he's going to find himself naked in the woods with three of the biggest blackest mofos he can imagine.
Can be done by anonymous note pinned to his windshield if necessary

Last edited by Dilbert_X (2009-03-09 00:31:00)

Fuck Israel

2009-03-09 02:02:16

#17

Cybargs: Moderated; +2,285|7019

Teach her BF a lesson.

https://cache.www.gametracker.com/server_info/203.46.105.23:21300/b_350_20_692108_381007_FFFFFF_000000.png

2009-03-09 02:47:57

#18

rdx-fx: ...; +955|6894

Dilbert_X wrote:
Can be done by anonymous note pinned to his windshield if necessary

pinned to the windshield?

This idea has merit.

I'd suggest good heavy-duty framing nails, and a compressor-driven nailgun.

Nice friendly letter, tacked to the windshield of his car, with 4 well-placed nails, one in each corner of the note.

Nothing like a light touch of insanity coupled with a large dose of overkill, to make the other guy realize you're serious as a heart-attack...

(Note: kids, don't try this at home. )

Last edited by rdx-fx (2009-03-09 02:48:23)

2009-03-09 05:22:17

#19

Burwhale: Save the BlobFish!; +136|6525|Brisneyland

I briefly went out with a girl that was a victim of abuse from an ex boyfriend. She actually said that she liked being with him because he made her feel "safe". She went back to him after me and suffered more of the same. The point here is that there is a level of brainwashing in this. The control freak girl basher usually makes the girl feel like total shit the whole time so that she loses all confidence in herself. Consequently she wont leave the guy as she feels she cant do better. Then something like "Stockholm sydrome" takes place where the victim develops an unusual affection for the basher. Its all a bit fucked up, and a very hard cycle to break.
Call the cops, show the guy he isnt above the law. Dont expect to make friends from this though.

2009-03-09 06:49:58

#20

Dilbert_X: The X stands for; +1,817|6409|eXtreme to the maX

Pinned with bluetack then.
You can pin someone to the floor, doesn't mean you have to actually use a pin.

But I like the idea of using a nailgun.

Fuck Israel

2009-03-09 07:08:31

#21

DrunkFace: Germans did 911; +427|6984|Disaster Free Zone

Hurricane2k9 wrote:
My friend's friend has an ex-boyfriend who hits her and abuses her. She still loves him despite the shit he puts her through. What should my friend do? I'm telling him he should consider calling the cops on that punk but I've heard stories where victims of abuse won't testify against them out of fear of retribution or fear of losing the one thing they have.

Any help?

edit -- According to him, she's hesitant on calling the cops probably for those reasons I put above.

Tell her to make up her god damn mind.

You either like it or you leave.... real simple. If she leaves get an AVO, if she likes it, it's none of your damn business.

2009-03-09 14:00:26

#22

rdx-fx: ...; +955|6894

Short course;

Until she decides she wants out, you'll be the asshole if you interfere.
If your sense of morality demands you do something, know this going in.

I've a friend who was married for 6 years. Husband hit her once, and that was it. She divorced his ass immediately.
Like, he was removed from the house by base security that evening.. immediately.
(I'm sure it did wonders for his career as a Marine - they were both Marines at the time, iirc)

THAT is what sane girls do.

Her explanation (as I can remember it), "If a fist fight is anywhere in his list of appropriate responses to his wife, I don't want to waste anymore time with him. I sure as hell don't want to raise a family with him. Glad we didn't have kids yet"

2009-03-09 14:29:40

#23

Lotta_Drool: Spit; +350|6486|Ireland

trex1210 wrote:
Lotta_Drool wrote:
Do she have kids. If she does she can just blame shit on them so they can take the beatings.
wow. your an ass.

Sorry, I guess what I ment to say is that the woman is a moron. Sometimes you just can't fix stupid, if she hangs around, she hangs around. She has no kids, she can leave anytime she fucking wants. boo fucking hoo.

2009-03-09 14:36:01

#24

trex1210: I am Canadian; +72|6562|B.C. Canada

Lotta_Drool wrote:
trex1210 wrote:
Lotta_Drool wrote:
Do she have kids. If she does she can just blame shit on them so they can take the beatings.
wow. your an ass.
Sorry, I guess what I ment to say is that the woman is a moron. Sometimes you just can't fix stupid, if she hangs around, she hangs around. She has no kids, she can leave anytime she fucking wants. boo fucking hoo.

now I agree. I really dont have any sympathy for either of them. I "used" to have a friend that was in the same situation and I tried to break them up (actually alot of people told her that he was a fucking idiot and tried breaking them up) but she didnt want to hear it because she was "in love" with him. She stopped talking to everyone and now 2 years later they have a kid. He has been arrested 2 for domestic abuse.

Last edited by trex1210 (2009-03-09 14:38:09)

2009-03-09 14:43:03

#25

Lotta_Drool: Spit; +350|6486|Ireland

trex1210 wrote:
Lotta_Drool wrote:
trex1210 wrote:
wow. your an ass.
Sorry, I guess what I ment to say is that the woman is a moron. Sometimes you just can't fix stupid, if she hangs around, she hangs around. She has no kids, she can leave anytime she fucking wants. boo fucking hoo.
now I agree. I really dont have any sympathy for either of them. I "used" to have a friend that was in the same situation and I tried to break them up (actually alot of people told her that he was a fucking idiot and tried breaking them up) but she didnt want to hear it because she was "in love" with him. She stopped talking to everyone and now 2 years later they have a kid. He has been arrested 2 for domestic abuse.

Yeah, my whole kids statement was sarcasm to point out that stupid bitches like this end up having kids with fucktards and this is what happens.
All the posts before mine seemed to worried about the woman being beaten, but sometimes that happens to stupid people.

Last edited by Lotta_Drool (2009-03-09 14:43:49)

BF2S Forums domestic abuse

Hurricane2k9 wrote:

ghettoperson wrote:

gs on fb wrote:

Hurricane2k9 wrote:

Dilbert_X wrote:

Hurricane2k9 wrote:

trex1210 wrote:

Lotta_Drool wrote:

Lotta_Drool wrote:

trex1210 wrote:

Lotta_Drool wrote:

trex1210 wrote:

Lotta_Drool wrote:

trex1210 wrote:

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