BF2S Forums Fluff.

Omg that was the funniest post ive read on a forum in  a long time!!! Nice 1 Sarum!! O i was roflmao!!! god that was good!

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This thread is so awesome it goes in the Featured Posts section. Good job!

You crack me up Saruman

Sarum wrote:

Krauser98 wrote:

I would like to request flip flops.  You can wear those things to any occasion!  There is nothing that can say "I'm with the in crowd, but I'm too lazy to be cool" like flip flops.

I read somewhere that a medical study showed that flip flops can lead to male impotency.

Don't those researchers have anything better to do?

God Damn - It's always the last thread you read that would've been useful, stupid confounded footware.  I can't walk in the bloody things anyway without jetisoning one into my surroundings, and now to top it off I'm all flop and no flip. Great *sigh*

The post that owns this thread f'ing owns.

What is it with Americans and Cuba?? So America failed in spreading Democracy, and for once a tiny country stood up to a bully. Time to bury the hatchet me thinks (and NOT in Castro's back).

How about a completely own made character creator? A next step on to the RPG style! We already have the point system so shouldn't everyone have their own model of a player? Imagine, you might have your clan members all look like hairy monkeys or bald chess pieces. Wouldnt that be cool?

And btw, that nuke is a MUST for this game! Suddenly, once per round, everything just becomes lighted and vehicles wont spawn in 5 mins and players lose health in radioactive waste and stuff like that.

Dear Sarum and other frequent writers of this forum,

We have taken note of your requests and are more than willing to respond in due time.  As you may have noticed we are currently on top of our agenda as we are postulating this written reaction within a period of three months.  This response is according to our ‘let the customer sit it out’ policy, surely well within the accustomed time frame.

Currently we cannot provide you a release date for any of your provided requests because this would yet again go into our in-house policies, which you should have realised by now.  Before all we are momentarily working at the following priority list;

1. The follow up of the newly released 1.03 patch with the product that should have been released with the  DVD in June.
2. We are preparing the startup for the 1.04 patch to solve all known bugs of the 1.03 version.
3. We are planning the 1.05 patch to tackle all currently unknown errors of the 1.03 version.
4. Continuously ignoring hammering emails from highly capable database managers and web space developers, also known as Mr. brilliant ideas Minard Jef (for general information: at the moment we have a vacant position for an email-manager, the only requirement is being knowledgeable in blocking certain individuals)
5. Continuously improving the level of complexity of our dbase to drastically counterwork any initiative that may well exceed our own capabilities in producing a decent stats page (e.g. www.bf2s.com).

As you can see, we are facing a tremendous agenda, and you should be more than pleased with this short reply. But then again, we know you are more than pleased because:

1. You and more than a half a million other geeks spend $ 50 to buy our unfinished product.
2. You spend approximately 100h of your free time on our product, which places you well over an average of 1h of online playing time, each day, since you bought our product. Let me punctuate that this is well bellow average, and again putting your remarks in a certain perspective with our current agenda.
3. We willst not mention your time on this forum.

Because it is our believe that we have to keep the customer happy with empty promises, your proposals for following add-ons; shades, cigars, music in transports, female and British players, were discussed at our board of very rich top PR managers. Needless to say they became very rich thanks to you, and were having their board meeting on Malibu beach. The result of this discussion was;

1. Players with a K/D ratio bellow 1 (i.e. you…) will not be granted shades, but more likely will acquire a new handy dandy flashy uniform, with a big bulls eye on their back and a matching on-off neon signal attached to their helmet visible in the whole battlefield, marking them with a “shoot me” sign.
2. The cigar for commanders were a well-appreciated asset for the game, especially since we are all going Cuban with your well spend money on our game. But our programmers are currently facing some difficulties on implementing the “you are leaving the battlefield”-regions to the non-smoking areas. Also some difficulty was experienced with the development of the “Capture the smoking areas” for commanders. But a “spit in the cupper can”-ribbon is already on the todo list.
3. As for the music in the transportation, we are looking into redesigning some maps to add a central CP. This central CP will be equipped with it’s own radio station, which can be tuned in by all friendly transports. Again we are facing some serious programming difficulties, especially the implementation of the DJ that can occupy this radio station when captured, and can subsequently upload his mp3 collection for broadcasting. Moreover the adjustment of the sniper’s asset claymore to portable radio’s, which then can be used to distract the enemy, is on the todo list. Of course, ribbons and badges for best/worst audio mixing, musical kills, and dancing skills are to be expected.
4. The female add-on is being dismissed on the grounds of not suitable for the targeted customers group and not in line with the scope of our level of realism. Notwithstanding that we are currently looking into a gay-hot-coffee mod, which is better suiting for this realistic army game. Here your proposal for British players fits nicely, for obtaining an expert level in this mod, you will have to own a stiff British arse. Alas no medals or ribbons here.

Most probably all of the above will be released in a patch of the expansion set, for which you surely will have to cough up some more heaps of green. No offence and noting personal, but we would like to buy that Malibu beach…

Hopefully this will satisfy your present needs, so that with some certainty you will buy our future unfinished products.

Yours truly,

Robin_Hood
Potential spokesman and representative in own believe for EA Games
(Potential, to be understood as not in this life)

Disclaimer for those I might have criticised

1 My K/D is far below 1, thus explaining the absence of a sig, i.e. no offence meant.
2 I bought the game, I play the game, so I love the game, i.e. no offence meant.
3 If you are in the army, or play this game, you’ll probably score high on the machissimo content, and thus most certainly you are not gay, again i.e. no offence meant.

Sarum wrote:

TriggerHappy998 wrote:

PermaG wrote:

On the Realside of adding and taking aaway things, why did they take out the in-vehicle radio as seen in BF:Vietnam?

It could be heard by other players on both teams, which makes it conflict with other music being played, and even giving away positions. At least that's what I heard...

Not like the engine of the hummer doesn't do that. Or the random n00b you picked up in the gunner slot who is busy trying to kill the road surface in front of you (what is it about gunner seats that forces people to fire constantly?).

It's probably because it's considered less a feature of the battlefield. It probably wasn't in 'Nam either, but films kinda created that impression so they put it in for a "authentic" feel. Modern battlefields are, we're told, much more professional places. Professional soldiers don't listen to music in their hummers...

Does that mean i'm in trouble?!?
Seriously though.. they do.. its stress relief in part, untill the fighting is on, or the need for a bit less noise is required. So yea.. not uncommon. Though i dunno if the typically depicted choices for songs in Vietnam were actually what they were listening to or not. *shrug*

Damn Straight!!!

Where the hell is my radio pumping rock before drop zone!

LOL @ Sarum's post.
But some others have some serious racist issues! WTF?
Get your heads checked and spare us the hypocracy!

Three words-

CUSTOMIZABLE BUMPER STICKERS

I mean seriously. Running people over in the little recon vehicle is cool, btu running them over with a bumper stick on the back saying " HOW'S MY DRIVING? CALL 1-555-F#CK-YOU"

And flying away from the carrier in a jet saying "NO HORN, WATCH FOR SIGNAL *pic of hand giving the finger*"

Like they could give 5 or so for each vehicle and you set what you want it to be in settings.

OMG IDEA- UNLOCKABLE BUMPER STICKERS

Also-
When playing MEC, under the thing you get when you press Q, I WANT MY GODAM JIIIIIHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD BATTLE CRY

Last edited by n1nj41c l337ne55 (2005-11-14 17:59:01)

Thank you Sarum. You have done what so many television programmers cannot seem to do, (exepting Ricky Gervais from "The Office",)
You have come up with some extreamly funny satirical comedy, given the loyal fan two sequals and most importantly, stopped before the series got stale and repeditive.

Thanks again.

- Tyferra