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polarbearz
Raiders of the Lost Bear
+-1,474|4953|Singapore

Please, Just take 10 minutes of your life to read through this Before you get started: For anyone who's known me, liked me, or considered a friend, consider doing me a favour by making a sig for me. For the old times. Don't ask me for inputs, just well, surprise me with something you would think fits me Thanks.

Well. In the light of the disappearance of 2 other forum members I've known since forever (Patton and Militant), ironically the time for me to go has come. I've been around what, a year and a half? Almost since the start? I've grown so integrated with the community, I've made such good friends over the forums, and over the game itself, it hurts so much just to go. Its like getting unplugged, so suddenly from the very source of constant fun and enjoyment. I'll only be around for a couple days more. Maybe until the weekend. Then the conspicious abscence will turn into a permanent one.

Things in real life are forcing me onto my knees, and I won't be around for much longer. I'm financially wrecked, I'll be jobless in 2 months time, and the bills are simply mounting up: Phone bills, electricity bills, water bills, medical bills. I dread opening the mailbox nowadays at home simply because of the bills bills bills.

Once my medical coverage ends with my current job contract, I'll be overwhelmed by the influx of those gigantic medical fees: for my right hand (Yes, I'm right handed, I have a busted MCPJ joint with 2 K-wires supporting now, and damaged/chipped knuckles for both hands). Knee: ACL torn through, badly repaired, no meniscus, badly fractured kneecap. Broken, unfixed nose and collasped sinus passages. Physiologically, that's it, but the psychiatric problems still haunt me, Clinically bipolar, Schizo and just, well. Emo Xanax, prozac, sleeping pills. Well.

No way in turning to my family for help, my mother just went through an incredibly expensive spinal operation (3rd/4th vertabrae etc. will not go into details). Parents have enough on their plate.

And I've lost the closest person in my life. No deaths, just, well, she's gone away. She was my sister, my best friend and my soulmate. Her soul is set free now, and mine is missing her's. She was born with wings to fly, to leave me behind on the ground. The mere thought of the time we spent together. It just tears me up from inside. No more pillar of strength and support. No one to hold in the darkest times. No one.

Killing myself isn't an option. Been there, done that, bought the fucking T-shirt and won the teddy bear. OD-ed, wrecked a car, hurled myself off 3 stories and rammed a blade into my wrist. What they say is true then, the wicked just don't die. But I'm past that stage now, I've just gotta see how to patch my life back together. Which won't be easy. I've got 2 charges in court looming, one for drug use, one for Volunteerily Causing Grevious Hurt (VCGH). I've already been in jail for a week months back, and it seems like more's to come.

I'm trying to purge my life of all that violence, drugs and alcohol, but its so hard.

I love this community, all the mods are (and will ALWAYS) be my very very good friends. I miss those days spent on mIRC bullshitting each other, laughing at and more importantly, WITH each other. Call me a no-lifer, I've got an active social life out there, but in this community, I've also had loads of fun, I've found part of myself here. I've made so many friends, unlike all the other communities (Quake, UT etc.)

My Last Word on BF2:

Call me a hypocrite, I don't care anymore. It doesn't matter anymore.

Have fun. Just have fun. Do unto others... (You should damn well know the rest). Feel the adrenaline rush, but not at the expense of others. For anyone on these forums that I have offended with comments on: SniperVideos/Snipers, Stats, playing a single map of choice, playing a single vehicle of choice, etc., I'm SORRY. Just have fun

Sadly BF2 has really been degraded due to the large amounts of seemingly meaningless complaints, but well, after adapting and changing to 3 entirely different patches of infantry combat, well, just adapt, and change everyone. I did it, you can too.

I've seen these forums since, what, forever. All the shakers, all the breakers, every single scandal, all the sagas. Well.. Seen it all. And I'll miss every moment of it. No more cynical bearz, no more pseudo-intelligent, but please, refrain from hijacking my thread. I've not been the best of all members, I haven't been the nicest of all people, but don't spit on my face as I go. Please.

I...

I don't really know what else to say, so: (if I missed anyone, please, I'm sorry, post in this thread, drop me a PM, I'll edit and add you in by this week. While I'm still around) In no order of preference:

Chuy, the whole tf family (marco, voodoo, vireo, etc.), markimus, Tyferra, liquidat0r, mcminty, Sl4y3r, mikeshw, tthf, Burning_Monkey, TsinTzu, Coolbeano, Cyborg, DaReJa. SysTray, TMo, Bern, DonFck, Todd_A, usmarine, stryyk, Bush, Babyspinach, patton, Cougar, trig, kimmy, spawnofthemist, pitviper, orange_hound, alpha, VspyVspy, kn0ckahh, Kung Jew, maef, hilltop_skater, paranoid101, LaidBackNinja, joker8baller, Janis_Petke, E7IX3R, Spark, Vub, Towelly, kilroy0097, Superior Mind, Downy, Tetrino, R3v4n, Deadman, Marlboroman82, Mike<Eagle23>, oberst_enzian, T1g3r217, genius_man16, R3v4n, SaladForks, fatherted13, Jestar12345, oberst_enzian, T1g3r217, genius_man16, R3v4n, SaladForks, fatherted13, TheCanadianTerrorist, ExecutionerStyle , d3v1ldr1v3r13, Flaming_Maniac, DirtyMexican, PspRpg-7, TeK||drake666, GAIKIWARRIOR, YoBabysDaddy, =Robin-Hood= 

Goodbye, Goodbye. I'll miss you guys SO BAD. :cries:

I'll appreciate it if anyone who considered me a friend would post a little, short testimonial to me in this thread

Goodbye.

Last edited by polarbearz (2006-10-05 01:57:54)

DaReJa
BF2s US Server Admin
+257|4791|Los Angeles, California, US.
Nooooooooo!!!! Damn, Another Good Member Leaving :'( . We'll miss you.

Last edited by DaReJa (2006-10-04 02:55:12)

Battlelog: DaReJa
MyBFi/BF3i Admin

AKA DanielRJ
GameSurge IRC Network, Support Agent and Staff
Phuzion IRC Network, Support Director and Operator
killer21
Because f*ck you that's why.
+400|4755|Reisterstown, MD

No offense but why do people, who decide to not post at a forum, make big long speeches like they are retiring from the NFL or something?
polarbearz
Raiders of the Lost Bear
+-1,474|4953|Singapore

killer21 wrote:

No offense but why do people, who decide to not post at a forum, make big long speeches like they are retiring from the NFL or something?
Because I've been here for a year and a half, this forums is as much a part of my life as, maybe like, going to work. I didn't even start bashing all the spamming in the forums, all the crap that goes on, I want everyone just to look beyond that, and have fun, like I did, for such a long time.

Go ahead, spit on it. Give me your too long, didn't read, whatever man..

And FYI, I'm not deciding 'not to post' anymore. I can't. Not in the near future. So I'm using my last week around to say my goodbyes.

Last edited by polarbearz (2006-10-04 02:50:42)

Zefar
Member
+116|4814|Sweden

killer21 wrote:

No offense but why do people, who decide to not post at a forum, make big long speeches like they are retiring from the NFL or something?
They hope SOMEONE will care. And imo, attention whores does these. If I'm quiting this site no one will know that I'm gone. :3

Anyway Bye but you'll be back. They all do.
polarbearz
Raiders of the Lost Bear
+-1,474|4953|Singapore

Zefar wrote:

killer21 wrote:

No offense but why do people, who decide to not post at a forum, make big long speeches like they are retiring from the NFL or something?
They hope SOMEONE will care. And imo, attention whores does these. If I'm quiting this site no one will know that I'm gone. :3

Anyway Bye but you'll be back. They all do.
Nope. Read above post, I don't need attention. The '05 batch of these forums know me well enough

And I will be back, I WANT to. But not so soon. I'm losing my internet connection because I can't pay my bills. And I'm going to be in jail for some time.
the_outsider38
Microsoft Poster Child
+83|4859|Vancouver BC Canada
You will be missed bearz, won't be the same without you. "You can't spell slaughter without laughter".

P.S. I see your -karma is back, I guess im 05 too haha.

Last edited by the_outsider38 (2006-10-04 02:55:05)

~Smokey~
Steve Irwin Reincarnate
+396|4702|Internetfitlerland

Cya bearz, good luck wherever life takes you mate.
[email protected]
Member
+54|4676

~Smokey~ wrote:

Cya bearz, good luck wherever life takes you mate.
you will be missed m8

Last edited by [email protected] (2006-10-04 02:59:01)

Knight`UK
Lollerstorycarpark
+371|4745|England
I used to hate  you badly but you have grown on me like a small boil .

Some of the stuff you post is funny and ive even been on the end of your acid tongue replys.

But it will be sad to see you go take care in real-life and please pop back if and when you can .
Gawwad
My way or Haddaway!
+212|4849|Espoo, Finland
The pic with the polarbear was too much aparently...
^*AlphA*^
F*ckers
+3,134|4903|The Hague, Netherlands

Take care bearz, was funning knowing you.....

Your Dutchy HuggyBear

^*AlphA*^
https://bf3s.com/sigs/36eac2cb6af70a43508fd8d1c93d3201f4e23435.png
polarbearz
Raiders of the Lost Bear
+-1,474|4953|Singapore

^*AlphA*^ wrote:

Take care bearz, was funning knowing you.....

Your Dutchy HuggyBear

^*AlphA*^
I'll miss ya Rundje :'(
SysTray
"Generous mods" < Thats right Systray !
+180|4985|Delaware
The good old crew of guys just keeps dwindling. Bearz I always enjoyed everything you had to say on here, I hope you have a good life without all of us . Singapore isn't too far, I'll come around and ask if they know you It's a sign of the times when the people you started with aren't here anymore. There used to be a time when this forum wasn't big, and when there were no files, no UBAR, no rankings. Just a community of guys that like the pretty numbers BF2 gave them.

Come back and visit some time when you're not doing too bad on the $ end of things. No matter what the site's called, if it still exists, I'll be here.

Catch ya later man.
r00ts
xD
+81|4707|Netherlands
i wish you all the luck in the future,
i havent known you very well but i sure will miss ya !
Hang in there, and dont let the world get to you,
cya
r00ts
DonFck
Hibernator
+3,227|4796|Finland

I'm in a loss for words regarding this..

It's a shame to see you leave, bearz. You haven't been the nicest guy around, true, but who the hell needs them? Sometimes you need some aggression in your posts to get thing said. And you have said them well. You've had the ability to set people straight with your comments. You've kept check on these forums without the need for Moderator-rights. I'm going to miss reading your funny/witty/angry/sarcastic/cynical posts. Well, I guess there's always the "Search"-button..

Regarding real life, it's bums me out to read that you're in your current situation. I sincerely hope that everything turns for the best very soon! From 1/3 around the globe it's a bit difficult to do anything, but know that you will be in our thoughts here.

Hope everything works out for you in the very near future!

-DonF-

P.S. Remember this?

https://www.2bangkok.com/2bangkok/thaimediaproject/ad11.jpg

Last edited by DonFck (2006-10-04 03:11:45)

I need around tree fiddy.
killer21
Because f*ck you that's why.
+400|4755|Reisterstown, MD

polarbearz wrote:

Because I've been here for a year and a half, this forums is as much a part of my life as, maybe like, going to work. I didn't even start bashing all the spamming in the forums, all the crap that goes on, I want everyone just to look beyond that, and have fun, like I did, for such a long time.

Go ahead, spit on it. Give me your too long, didn't read, whatever man..

And FYI, I'm not deciding 'not to post' anymore. I can't. Not in the near future. So I'm using my last week around to say my goodbyes.
I'm sry that your life has taken a turn for the worst..seriously.  However, it appears, to me, that you are searching for attention to fill the void of not being able to post here freely or whatever.  I come here a lot but I won't say that BF2S.com is apart of my life and I can't live without it.  I'm not flaming you..that is not the case.  Just don't know why you would share so many personal details of your life on the internet to a bunch of strangers.  If you have  a small group of people, which you indicated with a small list of names, you want to tell your story to then that is why the PM system is here.  I really hope things get better for you, however.  Peace.
Ducksteina
Choleric groundpounder
+42|4710
Summary please.
polarbearz
Raiders of the Lost Bear
+-1,474|4953|Singapore

SysTray wrote:

The good old crew of guys just keeps dwindling. Bearz I always enjoyed everything you had to say on here, I hope you have a good life without all of us . Singapore isn't too far, I'll come around and ask if they know you It's a sign of the times when the people you started with aren't here anymore. There used to be a time when this forum wasn't big, and when there were no files, no UBAR, no rankings. Just a community of guys that like the pretty numbers BF2 gave them.

Come back and visit some time when you're not doing too bad on the $ end of things. No matter what the site's called, if it still exists, I'll be here.

Catch ya later man.
Well. There's sadly anyone left.

On the $$ side... It'll take nothing less than a financial miracle to get me out of here
NPN_Scorpio
Member
+2|4847|King's Island
Good bye, good luck with your life

and welcome back!
polarbearz
Raiders of the Lost Bear
+-1,474|4953|Singapore

DonFck wrote:

I'm in a loss for words regarding this..

It's a shame to see you leave, bearz. You haven't been the nicest guy around, true, but who the hell needs them? Sometimes you need some aggression in your posts to get thing said. And you have said them well. You've had the ability to set people straight with your comments. You've kept check on these forums without the need for Moderator-rights. I'm going to miss reading your funny/witty/angry/sarcastic/cynical posts. Well, I guess there's always the "Search"-button..

Hope everything works out for you in the very near future!

-DonF-

P.S. Remember this?

http://www.2bangkok.com/2bangkok/thaime … t/ad11.jpg
Hah! I'll remember that one for years to come

And yeahhh... I do hope things work out, but I may come back so mellowed no one will like me anymore
polarbearz
Raiders of the Lost Bear
+-1,474|4953|Singapore

killer21 wrote:

I'm sry that your life has taken a turn for the worst..seriously.  However, it appears, to me, that you are searching for attention to fill the void of not being able to post here freely or whatever.  I come here a lot but I won't say that BF2S.com is apart of my life and I can't live without it.  I'm not flaming you..that is not the case.  Just don't know why you would share so many personal details of your life on the internet to a bunch of strangers.  If you have  a small group of people, which you indicated with a small list of names, you want to tell your story to then that is why the PM system is here.  I really hope things get better for you, however.  Peace.
Well, I don't see it as 'sharing so much personal details'. From my point of view? Well, I don't have anything more to lose
Coolbeano
Level 13.5 BF2S Ninja Penguin Sensei
+378|4928

And i thought you were stable as a cop...

As soon as you're out, hop on over here and let loose a bit, i'll pay for it (maybe even the ticket, if you don't mind air asia and that crap). I'll get you that Thai girlboymanwoman you want.

I've been pretty shitty here too, but I think i've told you most of it.

I'll probably come down as well, maybe for rugby or track or just holiday.
Actually... you know what? If you want I can hook you up with some of my family and get you back on your feet. They're rich and uber-s'porean and i'm sure they can help you out man.

Talk to me on msn.
Bernadictus
Ban™ is a trademark of the Bannadictus© Society®.
+1,055|4901|Baarn, The Netherlands

Nooooooooooooooooooooooes!

Will we see you on the 2142 side?
Coolbeano
Level 13.5 BF2S Ninja Penguin Sensei
+378|4928

Oh and wrong forum gosh noob kkthnxbai~*

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