BF2S Forums The Scientific Laws of Battlefield 2

181. in desperate need of ammunition ( having fended of enemy snipers with a bamboo stick ) you finally find the only team mate playing support. You run up to him, screaming "requesting ammunition" like a madman.
He stares at you in disbelief, then runs away.

Christ! So many! I dont think every little thing in BF2 should be added every post

The Original Murphys Laws of Combat

# If the enemy is in range, so are you.
# Incoming fire has the right of way.
# Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire.
# There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work.
# The problem with the easy way out is that it has already been mined.
# Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.
# Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous.
# The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions:

   1. when you're ready for them.
   2. when you're not ready for them.

# Teamwork is essential, it gives them someone else to shoot at.
# If you can't remember, then the claymore IS pointed at you.
# The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack.
# A "sucking chest wound" is nature's way of telling you to slow down.
# If your attack is going well, then it's an ambush.
# Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you.
# Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing.
# If you build yourself a bunker that's tough for the enemy to get into quickly, then you won't be able to get out of it quickly either.
# Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
# If you're short of everything but the enemy, you're in a combat zone.
# When you've secured the area, don't forget to tell the enemy.
# Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder.
# Friendly fire isn't.
# If the sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.
# Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never stay awake when you can sleep.
# The most dangerous thing in the world is a second lieutenant with a map and a compass.
# There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.
# A grenade with a seven second fuse will always burn down in four seconds.
# Remember, a retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping.
# If at first you don't succeed call in an air-strike.
# Exceptions prove the rule, and destroy the battle plan.
# Everything always works in your HQ, everything always fails in the colonel's HQ.
# The enemy never watches until you make a mistake.
# One enemy soldier is never enough, but two is entirely too many.
# A clean (and dry) set of BDU's is a magnet for mud and rain.
# Whenever you have plenty of ammo, you never miss. Whenever you are low on ammo, you can't hit the broad side of a barn.
# The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it away to be repaired.
# Field experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
# Interchangeable parts aren't.
# No matter which way you have to march, its always uphill.
# If enough data is collected, a board of inquiry can prove ANYTHING.
# For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. (in boot camp)
# The one item you need is always in short supply.
# The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it.
# The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of the weapon's operator.
# Airstrikes always overshoot the target, artillery always falls short.
# When reviewing the radio frequencies that you just wrote down, the most important ones are always illegible.
# Those who hesitate under fire usually do not end up KIA or WIA.
# The tough part about being an officer is that the troops don't know what they want, but they know for certain what they DON'T want.
# To steal information from a person is called plagiarism. To steal information from the enemy is called gathering intelligence.
# The weapon that usually jams when you need it the most is the M60.
# The perfect officer for the job will transfer in the day after that billet is filled by someone else.
# When you have sufficient supplies & ammo, the enemy takes 2 weeks to attack. When you are low on supplies & ammo the enemy decides to attack that night.
# The newest and least experienced soldier will usually win the Congressional Medal Of Honor.
# A Purple Heart just goes to prove that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.
# Murphy was a grunt.

lol very good .all true and what happens to me alot lately is how your enemy needs less ammo and hits to kill you and you need more to kill him.why when i'm in a jeep it takes only 1 m203 to kill or cause an explosion and i'm talking about zero damage on the jeep and myself.and I direct hit a jeep sometimes thats smoking btw and zip....I die?????

197. A fully loaded Black Hawk has the ultimate power to compel a teammate to paste C4's on it for 'psychological warfare'. Then, they have a habit of self-detonating just as you leave the carrier.

Most of this has happened to me. LOL

Nice laws.

200. After wasting all your ammo trying to kill the Engineer 5 feet away from you, he turns around and buries 8 shotgun pellets into your skull.

201. While waiting for a game to start, you jump and climb and jump and climb to put C4s on heli rotor blades. The moment you finish, a noob pilots it and crashes.

207. whenever you put on your NV Goggles 2 flashbangs land in your vicinity blinding you untill you respawn.

208. having the best round of your life (in BF2) on a battlerecorder server, the recorder will for sure be a fake or just not bookmarking in your community tab.

Last edited by mort4u (2005-11-29 10:43:01)

now thats funny..nice one apoc

212. When caught in an artillery strike, you will always be the first to die. If you are not the first to die, you will think you have survived but get killed by the last stray shot that lands on your helmet.

214 no matter how good your cammo and hiding spot– all a soldier has to do is look at you and a big red sign with your name will appear above your head
215 anti-air missiles only function to leave a smoke trail for the enemy to guide their bomb in to meet you

#216. Beware the 1337th Airbourne
                 o     __o   |                                         |
                 /        l     |                        o        o      |
o          o             .     |                        |-       |-     |
|-    o   |-   ----    o     |   "medic!"    o         o          |
      |-                -|      |  __o            \-        \-         |
___________________|________________________|
bunnies, the epic masterpeice

Last edited by kR4MR (2005-12-01 00:21:35)

#218 your helipcoptors rotors can go thru buildings without taking any damage. but let your nose barely clip a the ground while landing but let your wheels touch the ground after taking off even when making aperfect ladned and you will instabntly exploded.