I mailed a few work buddies around Spastic Bullet's worryingly true 'rules of war' that he posted recently. What follows is an open letter from a good (moderate) muslim friend of mine at work (written in response to 'the rules')..
An open letter...
I am a pagan, which was the main religion of Hibernia thousands of years ago.
Ireland is my 'spiritual' homeland. God gave us this land as it says in our holy book.
This land belongs to us. We were here long before you Christians and your St Patrick
came along and ruined it for us and drove us all out (along with our snakes!)
Let me explain to you the blight of our people over the last 3,500 years.
It is sad and tragic, but now that we've fought a fierce 'independence' war and we're
slowly starting to reclaim our Irish homeland back, terrorists are threatening our very
existence again.
The Nazis tried to annihilate us during the holocaust, so Europe and the united nations
decided, to clear their conscience, to give us back our Irish homeland.
According to the new resolutions and mandates, we have the right to bulldoze whole
cities of 'irish catholic foreigners' and build our own settlements.
Those Christian foreigners should go back to Bethlehem or the Vatican or wherever
the hell they came from. There's plenty of land in Europe and the middle east to
accommodate them.
We would like to rebuild our ancient temple of New Grange as well so we could revive
our culture that you destroyed with your fanatical, crusading, spanish-inquisitioning,
holocausting, conquistadoring, colonising, world-warring, bloodthirsty, paedophile
Catholic religion.
(We reserve the right, at any time, to mention any of the above or anything bad any
christian person has ever done any time in history to prove that all Catholics are evil and
to justify our land grab).
We will, basically, show up at your doorstep anytime we like and demand that you give us
our land back.
You can complain or protest, but whatever you say will never be politically correct. Your
words will be used against you to justify us taking your home. A few examples:
-You can't complain or protest to anyone because this is 'Law' now. You're breaking the law.
-If you say "I don't know who you are. You just showed up, declared this as your country and
started taking over everybody's land. I don't recognise this new so called country", we will
tell the world that you don't recognise our right to exist. full stop.
-If you say get off my land, we'll tell the world that you want to push us into the sea.
-If all else failed and you get angry or decide to fight us, we'll tell the world that you're
doing exactly what the nazis were trying to do. We will get the world's sympathy with
phrases like 'Never Again'. Well play on on the Europeans feelings of guilt from the
holocaust and say, "Are YOU going to allow this to happen again? They want to kill us!"
If they don't comply, we'll call them nazis as well. Easy!
-If you say occupation, we'll say IRA terrorism louder and shout it 1000 times more often.
-We are backed by powerful friends and superpowers, so why don't you just accept our
generous offer of "letting you live (preferably abroad)". No? Well, We'll just tell the rest of the
world that you're violent terrorist people and a danger to global security. In fact, you're the
only thing keeping the people on this planet from living happy prosperous lives. You never accepted
any of our 'generous' offers and you were never a partner of peace. In your previous elections,
a lot of you voted for the political wing of the terrorist organisation 'IRA'. Well keep repeating
this millions of times day and night 24/7 on every TV and radio station, every news bulletin and
every single issue or every single newspaper and publication in every single country around the
world and in every language until everybody automatically associates anyone with Catholic irish
features or even the mere mention of 'Catholic' or 'Christian' with terrorism and be afraid.
-------------------------------------------
Well, you get the point. I take over your house and generously offer to let you live in the shed.
I'll offer to negotiate the right of way with you and if I even think or feel that you're not
totally in agreement with my 'proposals', I'll tell everyone that I tried my best to offer many
concessions and to be reasonable, civilised and democratic, but you weren't happy because you
hate me and the west because we're 'free' and democratic. You hate our freedom!
What I didn't tell them, of course, is that I actually want to lock you up in the shed and only let
you out whenever I feel like it. 2 hours a day should me more than enough, but if I feel threatened,
or think that you're as much as looking at me the wrong way, you'll be grounded for a week and
the shed will get smaller because I need it to build an extension to my home for my kids to live in.
If you're still angry then you'll be grounded for a month then 2 months and so on.
If you don't like that, there's plenty of (bog)land elsewhere. don't be unreasonable!
An open letter...
I am a pagan, which was the main religion of Hibernia thousands of years ago.
Ireland is my 'spiritual' homeland. God gave us this land as it says in our holy book.
This land belongs to us. We were here long before you Christians and your St Patrick
came along and ruined it for us and drove us all out (along with our snakes!)
Let me explain to you the blight of our people over the last 3,500 years.
It is sad and tragic, but now that we've fought a fierce 'independence' war and we're
slowly starting to reclaim our Irish homeland back, terrorists are threatening our very
existence again.
The Nazis tried to annihilate us during the holocaust, so Europe and the united nations
decided, to clear their conscience, to give us back our Irish homeland.
According to the new resolutions and mandates, we have the right to bulldoze whole
cities of 'irish catholic foreigners' and build our own settlements.
Those Christian foreigners should go back to Bethlehem or the Vatican or wherever
the hell they came from. There's plenty of land in Europe and the middle east to
accommodate them.
We would like to rebuild our ancient temple of New Grange as well so we could revive
our culture that you destroyed with your fanatical, crusading, spanish-inquisitioning,
holocausting, conquistadoring, colonising, world-warring, bloodthirsty, paedophile
Catholic religion.
(We reserve the right, at any time, to mention any of the above or anything bad any
christian person has ever done any time in history to prove that all Catholics are evil and
to justify our land grab).
We will, basically, show up at your doorstep anytime we like and demand that you give us
our land back.
You can complain or protest, but whatever you say will never be politically correct. Your
words will be used against you to justify us taking your home. A few examples:
-You can't complain or protest to anyone because this is 'Law' now. You're breaking the law.
-If you say "I don't know who you are. You just showed up, declared this as your country and
started taking over everybody's land. I don't recognise this new so called country", we will
tell the world that you don't recognise our right to exist. full stop.
-If you say get off my land, we'll tell the world that you want to push us into the sea.
-If all else failed and you get angry or decide to fight us, we'll tell the world that you're
doing exactly what the nazis were trying to do. We will get the world's sympathy with
phrases like 'Never Again'. Well play on on the Europeans feelings of guilt from the
holocaust and say, "Are YOU going to allow this to happen again? They want to kill us!"
If they don't comply, we'll call them nazis as well. Easy!
-If you say occupation, we'll say IRA terrorism louder and shout it 1000 times more often.
-We are backed by powerful friends and superpowers, so why don't you just accept our
generous offer of "letting you live (preferably abroad)". No? Well, We'll just tell the rest of the
world that you're violent terrorist people and a danger to global security. In fact, you're the
only thing keeping the people on this planet from living happy prosperous lives. You never accepted
any of our 'generous' offers and you were never a partner of peace. In your previous elections,
a lot of you voted for the political wing of the terrorist organisation 'IRA'. Well keep repeating
this millions of times day and night 24/7 on every TV and radio station, every news bulletin and
every single issue or every single newspaper and publication in every single country around the
world and in every language until everybody automatically associates anyone with Catholic irish
features or even the mere mention of 'Catholic' or 'Christian' with terrorism and be afraid.
-------------------------------------------
Well, you get the point. I take over your house and generously offer to let you live in the shed.
I'll offer to negotiate the right of way with you and if I even think or feel that you're not
totally in agreement with my 'proposals', I'll tell everyone that I tried my best to offer many
concessions and to be reasonable, civilised and democratic, but you weren't happy because you
hate me and the west because we're 'free' and democratic. You hate our freedom!
What I didn't tell them, of course, is that I actually want to lock you up in the shed and only let
you out whenever I feel like it. 2 hours a day should me more than enough, but if I feel threatened,
or think that you're as much as looking at me the wrong way, you'll be grounded for a week and
the shed will get smaller because I need it to build an extension to my home for my kids to live in.
If you're still angry then you'll be grounded for a month then 2 months and so on.
If you don't like that, there's plenty of (bog)land elsewhere. don't be unreasonable!
Last edited by CameronPoe (2006-08-10 06:56:41)