BF2S Forums The Scientific Laws of Battlefield 2

Last one (from me)

Just when youve gotten used to all the errors and bugs and made your peace with it.
EA releases another patch wich screws it up once more.

155: When the enemy is in range so are you.  even if you are using a .50 cal sniper rifle with scope, aginst a 9mm pistol.

Awesome list, dude

...and possibly:

You wait for the whole show to load, and the client to verify, only to spawn and find the opposition have already got all of the flags and they're all parked at you spawn's center

If you're locked on to an enemy air vehicle, you shoot the missles and they will either

A)Follow them and either
--A1)Go right through them
--A2)Go straight/Slowly curve while the air vehicle makes a minor change in position, completely missing them

B)Not hit the enemy and instead
--B1)Make a 260 degree turn towards a friendly and kill them with one hit
--B2)Follow your teammate with ultimate manueverablility and follow til they hit and kill all passengers
--B3)Pass through the enemy and blow your teammate to pieces

C)Actually hit them and either
--C1)Kill them which is a 1 in 30 chance
--C2)Damage them to the smoking point but you have to reload and they fly off
--C3)Be hit by ALL of your missles and not destroy it and a teammate finishes it off and you don't get the assist
--C4[lol])Hit with every missle and NOT DAMAGE THEM AT ALL

Rule nr. 156 i think: everytime you get mad, hit the keyboard and some of the buttons fly off.... you will spend the entire round looking for it!!!! Maybe thats just happens with me. hehe

Nr. 157: The doorbell or phone will always ring when you are playing.

Nr. 158: When driving a tank and some stupid idiot is infront of it and you are waiting for him to get out of the way... he runs to the right.. you start driving, and the same stupid idiot finds out that he will run to the left instead and you TK him. Of course his page down button is glued down so it will be punished.

Nr 159: If you need a medic kit and you meet someone playing medic, the medic kit he throws to you will either be taken by him, or you cant find it and be killed with one bullet.

Nr. 160: While playing as assault, shoot the m203 and need to switch to the AK, you use the mouse to roll up to get the AK, but the mouse finds out  that you rolled down and take out the smoke grenade instead. Then you are standing there as if you are asking the enemy: umm... want a smoke?

Nr. 161: If you get the silver medal and the commander gets the gold, he always beats you by 1 point.

Nr. 162: You will always get hit in the shoulder by your friend, if you are sitting and watching him play, when he is laying prone, shoting at an enemy with alot of friendlies behing him and then you scream: WATCH OUT!!!! resaulting in him panicking, turning around, empty an entire round in one of his team mates. The team mate is sitting at home thinking: WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED??????

Nr. 162: If you need to scratch your head or something with your left hand, you will always return your fingers to S, E, F, and D, instead of A, W, D, and S and then think: this was not right after you got killed.

Nr. 163: When the tank is almost blown up and you get out before it happens, you will always be infront of a small obsticle that you have to jump over or cant and the the tank will blow up and you with it.

The guy talking about Norton warning you that your subscription is out... making you go out of the game... has happened to me alot!!

Last edited by SteikeTa (2005-11-06 19:38:36)

173: If you are playing an Urban map as support at some point you will lie prone to get a good shot down an ally way or street.  For some reason a teammate will find you increadably sexy, and lie down with you. . . unfortuatly to make sure thier noticed they lay right in front of you.  weather or not you are currently fireing.

174. You are calm, you are ready, you are in focus, fully concentrated, you are the UBER sniper, even tanks fear you. You have the perfect spot and are ready to kill and entire squad with one bullet, then, suddenly, a teammates appears besides you, he decides to get along, pull out his pistol, and starts dancing and shoting the enemy squad..............u get a shower of bullets and grenades.......he lefts untouched....

175. in Karkand, you will always spawn in front of a APC that is already in a kill rush..

176. You can´t rush for cover, bullets are so intelligent that they can make a 90° turn and hunt you down.

55. when you spawn at your own uncapturable base there will be no enemy waiting for you!!

I dont know if it was said before but:

(+1) When there is a medic in your squad,he will always drop all his medic bags near your spawning point so that when you'll need one in action he wont have any.

(+2) When, as commander, you see a bunch of ennemies heading to one of your undefended flags and decide to launch artillery strike on this flag, they will suddenly change their mind so your artillery won't hit anything.

177.your at the enemy base and your tank is about to explode, so you run to the parked APC just to find that there is a red name above it, so you sprint back to your tank just to get shot down by the enemy gunner occuping the damn thing.

96D wrote:

76. It doesn't matter what you lock your Stinger or IGLA on to, the missile will go after anything in the sky it damn well feels like. This includes the sun, small birds, and friendly transport choppers with no less than 3 passengers.

Revision-

The chances of you hiting an enemy jet/chopper with the aa can be summed up in the following equation=
y=mx-b

where-
y=chance out of a 1000
m=distance of the said object,times the recipricol of its speed, times the angle at which its front faces you.
x=number of enemies
b=number of friendlies and flares in the view times 10 to the 8th

Approximately.

Last edited by n1nj41c l337ne55 (2005-11-13 16:04:11)

180. being a Medic get call for help, you run the Gauntlet of enermy fire, you nearly reach you comrade in need of medical attention, Then he decides it best to run away from you as fast as possible shouting i need a medic here, as you stumble behind him trying to keep up, because you've run out of run getting there.