Fancy_Pollux
Connoisseur of Fine Wine
+1,306|6653
Amazingly hot. The kind of hot that makes you want to rip her pants off and **** her in the middle of class, not caring about getting expelled. She's just that damn good. People tease me about her a lot, because she has a bit of a reputation for being a slut, and for good reason: She sucked off half the football team after the homecoming game. But she is hot nonetheless.

Anyway, she lives about 10 minutes away from me and she called me up and asked if I wanted to go see a movie. I told her no, I had to work on this english report (Poison Gas Warfare in WWI), but she begged until I gave in. Then she told me she wanted to rent a movie and come over instead of going to a theatre. I raised my eyebrows at this. Why would she want to come over here? Could it be she's really that big of a slut? Nooo, I thought. That couldn't be it...could it?

So she arrives at around 9 PM. My parents are still at a symphony they went to, so nobody is in the house (my sister is in college). We pop some popcorn and get on the couch and start watching the movie (The Blues Brothers). After a while she complains that her legs are cramping up and wondered if she could lie down on the couch and put her head in my lap. My stomach did a barrel roll. I said Yes, no problem.

So she puts her head in my lap and continues to watch the movie. We're to the scene with the blind dude playing the keyboard when she starts to gently rub her head back and forth...I couldn't help getting aroused. Then I was brought back to Earth as my cousin sat up and gave me a look of disgust. "What the hell is that?" she asked, pointing to my crotch. I could do nothing to hide it. I mumbled that I was sorry and that I should probably get to bed, but she grabbed me by the beltloop as I tried to get up.

She forced me back down and looked into my eyes with a sort of hungry look. "If you're attracted to me, all you needed to do was tell me..." and with that she unzipped my pants and had them around my knees before you could say Jack Daniels. I feebley tried to resist, but my protests faded into nothingness . I closed my eyes and groaned with pleasure. As I looked down, I saw a sight I will never forget for the rest of my life.













She lowered her head to it, pulled off her mask, and spit acid all over my wang.

FATALITY.

Last edited by Fancy_Pollux (2006-06-07 11:24:43)

Darth_Fleder
Mod from the Church of the Painful Truth
+533|6813|Orlando, FL - Age 43
I see that your sense of humor hasn't changed.....welcome back Pollux.

Last edited by Darth_Fleder (2006-06-07 11:53:44)

The#1Spot
Member
+105|6547|byah
dam your cousin is fucken sick
she probably has a disease in her mouth from the football team and now its all over your dick
gj
Capt. Foley
Member
+155|6595|Allentown, PA, USA
LMFAO. Wait, when did he leave?
Madhadda1
Member
+270|6552|Cedar Rapids, Iowa
wow dude i was starting to wonder......... i was glad to see the end........ lol
jord
Member
+2,382|6685|The North, beyond the wall.
Do what i do,just say I'm going to the toilet and get some really old water and dab it on,mines go's straight down faster than i can say erection[i can say it unbelievably fast].
Or tuck it between your legs.
=Karma-Kills=
"Don't post while intoxicated."
+356|6591|England
so, was the film any good?
InviSniper
The first true Sniper.
+95|6651|Cumberland, MD, USA
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v221/INVISNIPER/Smilies/xscuseless.gif

Edit: I got teh pictarz! https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v221/INVISNIPER/Smilies/bukkake.gifhttps://img.photobucket.com/albums/v221/INVISNIPER/Smilies/sex.gif

Last edited by InviSniper (2006-06-07 11:55:14)

Kung Jew
That one mod
+331|6752|Houston, TX
My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me. It was her beautiful younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra less. One day "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations.

She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me." I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled off her panties and threw them down the stairs at me.

I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my future father-in-law hugged me and said, we are very happy that you have passed our little test.....we couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."




And the moral of this story is:
Always keep your condoms in your car.



KJ
Fancy_Pollux
Connoisseur of Fine Wine
+1,306|6653

InviSniper wrote:

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v221/INVISNIPER/Smilies/xscuseless.gif

Edit: I got teh pictarz! https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v221/INVISNIPER/Smilies/bukkake.gifhttps://img.photobucket.com/albums/v221/INVISNIPER/Smilies/sex.gif
https://www.mktrilogy.hpg.ig.com.br/scorpion.gif
Marconius
One-eyed Wonder Mod
+368|6701|San Francisco
https://img326.imageshack.us/img326/7500/alien31rv.gif
Wanted for questioning...

Edit:  Yes, indeed...this section of BF2S is starting to become Fark.com...
InviSniper
The first true Sniper.
+95|6651|Cumberland, MD, USA
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v221/INVISNIPER/FunnyGifs/chloroform.jpg
spacebandit72
Dead Meat
+121|6737|Michigan
haha, you could call this the deranged penthouse forums!!!
Cbass
Kick His Ass!
+371|6701|Howell, Mi USA
LoL i would karma u for that but i already did today
https://bf3s.com/sigs/bb53a522780eff5b30ba3252d44932cc2f5b8c4f.png
mKmalfunction
Infamous meleeKings cult. Est. 2003 B.C.
+82|6547|The Lost Highway
A.) Steven Colbert owns.

B.) Funny story.

C.)Jew, even funnier story.

D.)Sniper, even funnier picture.
Ty
Mass Media Casualty
+2,398|6782|Noizyland

That's the second thing in two days that's made me say; Lol just dosn't say it.
I'm in the Uni Library - deathly silent at the moment. I really struggled not to laugh but now everyone's looking at me really strangly because I have this big dorky grin on my face.
[Blinking eyes thing]
Steam: http://steamcommunity.com/id/tzyon
genius_man16
Platinum Star whore
+365|6685|Middle of nowhere

Kung Jew wrote:

My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me. It was her beautiful younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra less. One day "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations.

She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me." I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled off her panties and threw them down the stairs at me.

I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my future father-in-law hugged me and said, we are very happy that you have passed our little test.....we couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."




And the moral of this story is:
Always keep your condoms in your car.



KJ
that totally deserves Karma!! i just ran out though... gotta remember tomorrow...

that's hilarious!
RadioKon
Member
+2|6590|Atlanta, GA
lmao good stuff +1!!!
kessel!
Peruvian Cocaine
+261|6772|Toronto Canada
haha man. what if you had fucked that up jew? can you say awkward?
theoneandonly
Member
+3|6541
wow.....
Fancy_Pollux
Connoisseur of Fine Wine
+1,306|6653

=Karma-Kills= wrote:

so, was the film any good?
Yes...yes it was, actually.
Darky
Hi..
+71|6569|Here.
Lollers..
max
Vela Incident
+1,652|6574|NYC / Hamburg

lol...
if you wanna marry (j/k), in switzerland cousins are allowed to (only straight line is forbidden - nasty)

Last edited by max (2006-06-08 00:06:14)

once upon a midnight dreary, while i pron surfed, weak and weary, over many a strange and spurious site of ' hot  xxx galore'. While i clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour, " 'Tis not possible!", i muttered, " give me back my free hardcore!"..... quoth the server, 404.

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