duffry
Moderator Emeritus
+148|7290|Cheshire, UK
Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 . I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Battlefield-2 1.30, Football 5.0, Poker Night 10.3, and Lager 6.5. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,
A Troubled User.

______________________________________

REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING !!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook
It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs . Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the  only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT , under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support
xintegrityx
set your body ablaze
+37|7180|Louisiana
Seen it before but still funny.
M_Harrower
Will code HTML for food
+114|7025
Ahahaha, very funny
Viper38
Member
+118|7121

xintegrityx wrote:

Seen it before but still funny.
Zeon.
l33t sp33k Specialist
+159|7009|Behind j00OMFG HAX, Bristol UK
Lol
Ilocano
buuuurrrrrrppppp.......
+341|7118

Viper38 wrote:

xintegrityx wrote:

Seen it before but still funny.
TodErnst
It's not a bug, it's a feature
+38|7079|Muenster, Germany
Very nice +1
ZkylonB
Member
+36|6999
LOL funny.
eMarine
Gorgonnash PVP
+119|7295|Sacramento, Cal
lolz very funny.
PFCStenzel
Check your AA alarm...
+82|7245|Idaho, USA / Age 30
So funny.......LOL
Milk.org
Bringing Sexy Back
+270|7227|UK

Ilocano wrote:

Viper38 wrote:

xintegrityx wrote:

Seen it before but still funny.
Defiance
Member
+438|7122

Oh the truth!
liquidat0r
wtf.
+2,223|7078|UK
Oh, it was a joke!

j/k

for the person that gave me a negative karma:
"-1 Reason: how would u need to edit that? its barely 5 words"
I edited it becuase of a typo! Anyway, why give a negative karma for something like that anyway

Last edited by liquidat0r (2006-06-05 16:00:39)

joemah
Member
+6|7193
+1
sharpshot19
Copenhage master
+30|7147|minnesota
lmao..thats  funny as hell +1 for u
Stumanbmx
S!l3nt But D3adly
+86|7055|Pickle Village

Milk.org wrote:

Ilocano wrote:

Viper38 wrote:


bubbass
humble
+61|7020
I enjoyed it. Thanks!
duffry
Moderator Emeritus
+148|7290|Cheshire, UK
OK, now I'm officially bummed.

I appreciate all the +1's fellas, I honestly do, thank you all who +1'd me for this post...


                                                                                        ...but...

This is a slight modification on an old email joke that someone sent to me. It made me laugh once again and I thought that with a little tweak it would be funny here too. I did do a search to make sure I was the first to do it.
All this took about 5 minutes. It is now the 'post I'm most famous for'.

Why am I bummed?

The previous post I was most famous for was this one. That one took freakin hours!
I know it was posted before karma and that's why. I also am very proud that I was invited into the wiki team on the back of it (and a few other bits).

But when I'm now 'most famous' for an old email joke...
                                                                     ...well, I shed a tear.

Well, that's enough out of this ungrateful-sounding ass. Thanks again guys.

                                                                                                                           ...think I'll just go write me another wiki.

Last edited by duffry (2006-06-05 16:08:36)

Maj.Do
Member
+85|7203|good old CA
hahah thats good
VeNg3nCe^
¦Tactics Øver Principles¦
+314|7157|Antarctica
Pretty funny
Rizen_Ji
Member
+41|7187|200m out and smiling at you.
lol +1
BlackLegion42
Damn Command and Conquer Generals...
+62|7181|Rochester, NY
UPDATE!!! 6/5/06 4:00 EST

We here in Legal Corporation has found a way to uninstall the OS Wife 1.0 for people who wants to transistion back after years of going in rage against Wife 1.0. The software, called Divorce 0.5, would enable you to disable Wife 1.0 for a brief period of time and after using our popular Legal 2.5 in conjunction with Divorce 0.5, you are able to permanently uninstall Wife 1.0 from your computer and enables you to reset Girlfriend 7.0 back to your computer. Relieving all former troubles from Wife 1.0. Hope this would help to most concerned users of Wife 1.0. Thank You.

BlackLegion42
Main Hacker/Programmer
Legal Corp. USA

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

UPDATE!!! 8:15 EST

One one bug is found in our software and are working around the clock to try to fix it and it is a sub program that Wife 1.0 makes after being permamently disabled on your computer and it is called ExW 1.25, which reduces some of your performance from Girlfriend 7.0 permanently and is currently can't be removed with Legal 2.5 w/ Divorce 0.5. We are trying to find a way to fix this and are currently reviewing with the extended use of Law 8.5 from United States Government National Software Protection to sort out this issue with ExW 1.25. Thank you for your cooperation.

BlackLegion42
Main Hacker/Programmer
Legal Corp. USA
BlackLegion42
Damn Command and Conquer Generals...
+62|7181|Rochester, NY
ExW stands for Ex-Wife...
duffry
Moderator Emeritus
+148|7290|Cheshire, UK
Dear BlackLegion42

I would like to complain about your product Divorce 0.5. I used it to uninstall Wife 1.0 in order to go back to using the Girlfriend software range. All seemed to go well but your company failed to mention that the entire Divorce 0.5 product suite needs to be completed before reverting to the former software.

Whilst attempting to re-access some old Manhood 1.8 files through the installation of Girlfriend 7.0, Girlfriend 8.0 (beta) and, out of desperation, Girlfriend 4.0, I ran into serious compatibility issues with Wife 1.0.

I now find that the ExW 1.25 application is causing such a massive resource drain that the current installation of Girlfriend has become terribly unstable and is denying access to some vital areas.

Please help.
Please.

Last edited by duffry (2006-06-05 17:40:46)

BlackLegion42
Damn Command and Conquer Generals...
+62|7181|Rochester, NY
Dear duffry:

We the Legal Corporation, apologize the misunderstanding of our software use, you need Legal 2.5 to aid Divorce 0.5 in order to uninstall Wife 1.0. I will happily give you a free copy of Legal 2.5, but ExW 1.25 is still having issues as an aftereffect with Girlfriend 7.0. Right now we are creating an alpha version of Welfare 0.1a, a support system to increase the performance of Girlfriend 7.0 and at the same time suppress some of the damage mad by ExW 1.25. The Welfare 0.1a is based on Law 8.5 of the USGNSP. This is not a permanent deletion of ExW 1.25 but it helps suppress it far enough that Girlfriend should operate stably. I will give you Welfare 0.1a and see how it goes.

We are trying our best to fix this very horrible technical problem and we are sorry for some misunderstanding

BlackLegion42
Main Hacker/ Programmer
Legal Corps. (Now in conjunction with USGNSP)

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