outside cats in a city of 20 million are very much not a thing. big culture shock to me, too, where i think the UK (even in leafy london) is still majority outside cats.
there are 'neighbourhood cats' in japan but they're almost like a shinto tradition. kind of strays that everyone treats well and as some sort of good luck charm. falls firmly into a different culture category as 'my pet'. it's considered extremely bad manners to even let your dog off the leash in japan. the few cats i have seen outside, in city parks mostly, have been in a harness or pram or something, too.
imo, i think sometimes cat people can underestimate how debilitating and miserable severe allergies are.
before i came into this, that was 95% of my worry about the whole thing. just feeling fatigued, inflamed, uncomfortable, etc. in my own home – permanently. we made a hard and fast rule never to allow the cat into the bedroom (large room with walk-in closet and space for my own work desk and things; effectively a uzi-sanctuary). but we went to a pharmacists on like, day 4, and got some of the strongest possible prescription medication for it. a twice daily pill as well as a sinus/nasal spray thing (as you'd take for hayfever - which i also suffer from) pretty much nixed the allergies. as i mentioned before, she has done a lot from the 'supply' side of the equation, so to speak, to minimise the cat's dander. food, daily brushing, constant hoovering, installing industrial-grade air purifier in the main room. it's more or less a managed problem.
she mentioned that she thinks the reason the cat constantly misbehaves and jumps up on our dinner and so on is because 'cats like to have verticality and be above things'. that may well be true, but blimey, i've been in a lot of houses with a pet cat and they're not constantly clobbering over my bangers and mash. it's poorly trained. i try to point out to her that she and the cat have formed an insanely over-attached relationship style (no fault of their own, it was the covid lockdown era, and so on), but it's hard to broach without then making her emotional and defensive. but i've never seen anything like it. i get far more peace with the animal when she's not at home: then it behaves like i'd expect an adult cat to behave, mostly minding it's own business, amusing itself, letting me know when it wants some food but otherwise quiet as an, erm, mouse. as soon as my other half is home, the cat constantly follows her everywhere, from dawn till dusk, and loudly miaows the ENTIRE time. it is literally endless. (and she WFH's for most days of the week, so that is basically the entire time.)
i am guessing having the bedroom/night sleeping removed from the cat has made it anxious or unhappy in some sense. but i'm not budging on that. we've moved into a brand new apartment and kept this room out of bounds from the start. it is minimally contaminated and i am not negotiating on that. i need a space to start my day, take my meds, wake up without reactions. a space to keep my clothes and workdesk, etc. where dander and cat hair aren't involved. as for the rest of her suggestions, well fuck ... we just paid a big premium for one of the most desirable 'designer' apartment types. i don't want to put cat trees everywhere and fill it with 'vertical toys' so that it looks like a fucking cat café. IIIII am unhappy in this space right now, to fuck with the cat's happiness meter. it already neglects a solid 80% of the toys or furniture she has bought for it over time. i really do not want to fill my beautiful 'new home' with tacky, hair and saliva-covered, smelly cat crap.
Last edited by uziq (2025-08-26 19:15:01)
