it's almost as if we have had 2000 years of republican or democratic experiment in which to mediate the wills (as well as whims) of the people through steady and prudent governance. quorums and referenda on matters of steering the ship of state ... yeah, not so smart.
darwinian selection doesn't apply to civilisations. more cod science from our resident MSc.
civilisations don't fail because of 'natural selection', dilbert. you completely misunderstand darwin's thought.
not surprising as for you the whole interest isn't one of biology, but rather all the victorian-vintage ideology that stemmed from early misreadings and polemics surrounding the new darwinism: eugenics, unscientific race science, malthusianism, etc.
you cannot make any scientifically verifiable claims about 'the darwinian process of civilisation'. political unions don't come into and cease being because of 'natural selection', dilbert. joining and leaving the EU, or the act of union of 1707 between the kingdoms of the UK, aren't 'determined' or 'selected for' by essentially blind, selection-optimization processes of adaptation. they're acts of human will and agency. there is zero will or agency in darwinism – not unless you introduce spurious metaphysics or religion by the back door about 'vital life forces' or 'intelligent design' or somesuch (ironic for such a cantankerous atheist).
read a history book.
related, but here is an excellent précis by the director of the max planck institute for the history of science - just about one of the most prestigious chairs anywhere in the world on this very intersection between science and history - of the ongoing misunderstandings and misapplications of mendelianism, with an emphasis on race science and genetic determinism.
maybe take your own advice and, i dunno, read something once in a while instead of just your usual angsty teenage attitudinising about 'the end of western civilisation'.
40 minutes is about all church should ever last. some of that stuff can drag on for way too long. i'm convinced you'd have to be mentally broken somehow to actually want second church and elevensies of listening to a bunch of self-righteous blowhards pat each other on the backs until the winter sun passed the middle of the sky.
re: being dragged into church as a kid: what child wants yet another adult in their life exerting authority over them?
Last edited by unnamednewbie13 (2025-01-20 16:49:32)
did she invite you to church or something? the last time i've been was like in the 2000s on an invite from a date. if it's any consolation, the regulars will probably be as lost as you.
I have an Italian-Catholic friend, half his weekends are taken up with death. Going to funerals, going to wakes, putting flowers on graves, going to the one month, six month, one year etc or whatever it is anniversaries of the deaths of people he barely knew.
i assume she won't be the type of catholic most taken up with the torments of conscience, given the whole staying-over-the-night thing. a spot of the old premarital before mass?
i assume she won't be the type of catholic most taken up with the torments of conscience, given the whole staying-over-the-night thing. a spot of the old premarital before mass?
I assume the Catholic Church is just happy we aren't gay.
She is Catholic in the sense that I need to be careful to not impregnate her since she won't get an abortion.
we’ve given it a few years for me to get up to speed on language and for things like careers to settle between the two possible locations. it’s cheaper to live in tokyo when young, which is leading that way.
she paid to have a bunch of eggs frozen in her 20s so we don’t particularly feel rushed or pressured about it. it will happen when we both actually want it.
she’s not religious but there’s a certain weight of tradition with the shintoism stuff that definitely bears some thinking about. all the usual clichés of trying to communicate with and get along with asian in-laws.
tbh much like the catholic church has relaxed and de facto liberalised a bit, i think most japanese and korean families are just happy to see their daughters get married and start a family at all thesedays. the traditional patterns of life haven’t applied for several generations. she’s one of three sisters and one brother; none of the women have settled down. east asia is speedrunning the whole ‘women should have careers’ thing, with all of its attendant conflicts and compromises. trad-minded guys are being left in the dust of fast-shifting mores, a bit. a lot of them are still hoping to find a 22yo trophy housewife when they’re 40yo and have had a stagnant salary since 2007. not much bread being won by the average salaryman, and so on.
I strongly suggest against having kids. They aren't worth the trouble. It might seem alluring tying the girl down with a family and all but the stress just isn't worth it.
I have gotten a lot of marriage and baby proposals by women I have met off of apps. I assume there is a lot of desperation from girls on apps but also among girls generally. All of the girls I have talked with about this basically explain it like "You have a career, you're independent, and nice." Apparently having a job and not hitting them is all it really takes. I have no idea if the bar has always been that low.
Last edited by SuperJail Warden (2025-02-19 08:50:06)
i don't need any anti-natalist screed. i do not have strong opinions for or against continuing the human race or preserving civilisation or whatever.
a few of my friends have had kids at this point. maybe 30-40%. not the majority, but it won't be long at this rate. i've got a fair idea of what parenthood involves.
the first few years look like hell. and frankly i am not as set-up or accomplished as i want to be yet. there's a few more things i, selfishly or not, want to do for myself. i don't fancy trying to do a PhD while raising a toddler. i may be a genius but the human mainframe has its limits. von neumann didn't change nappies.
i always said i'd properly assess these things by 40. that's a bit of a cut-off point for me when it comes to putting all the follies of youth and bucket-list type living behind me. i do think you can find other, if not necessarily deeper, satisfactions in serving other people and settling down beyond a certain age. you can learn a lot about yourself by taking on those serious responsibilities. i've got friends with kids who seemed to have tied down their lives and extinguished their hopes far too young; but on the other hand, i've at this point seen a lot of the 'eternal traveller' type, too. continually chasing your own bliss, the next horizon, finding enlightenment, etc. can be a very lonely and unproductive affair if you don't know when to wrap it all up.
everything in moderation. i generally trust my gut on these things. my life has seemed to transition from one phase to the next without any great deal of anxiety, agonising, deliberation, effort, yada yada. i left behind a long-term relationship and went to asia in the great decompressing after covid. after a few years of living with myself and at my own amorous leisure, i met my other half just by existing in tokyo. she slid into my instagram DMs based on a music event we both shared. it was that easy. didn't even have to use a dating app, etc. and now here we are. 'slow and smooth', as our long-departed marine friends would have said when breaching a room to shoot a bunch of afghan 14 year olds in the face.
I have no idea if the bar has always been that low.
tbh dating apps have just made it that little bit easier to connect with desperate and lonely people. that's it. you always could have found some 'left behind' girl in her township or picked up some harlot on the bar scene, prior to dating apps, who would just have quickly rushed through the steps with you. i would say that is very unwise. things have proceeded pretty quickly in this relationship, now, but it's not as if i didn't just spend the last 3 years dating lots of women who were very keen to settle down with me in seoul and knowing when and how to respectfully decline.
we are also just at 'that age'. dating same-aged women in their 30s invariably means meeting people in a rush. you generally don't need to take 2 years of being 'in a relationship' before getting serious. those kinds of proving periods are like for people in their early 20s who have lots of time and still have the training wheels on. there's healthy and unhealthy ways to have a whirlwind romance. i think you know better than anyone else the sort you're having.
I am not an anti-natalist. Kids are my bread and butter after all. I am just aware of how totally life changing kids are. Especially for guys like us who have comfortable lives. And the kids are permanent. You are stuck with them forever. And there is no guarantee that the kid won't come out crazy or evil.
lol. well, yes, that's one way of looking at it. another way of looking at it is that comfort breeds complacency (if not progeny). but, yes, noted obviously that there's other and perhaps more well-advised ways to challenge yourself than to bring another human being into the world.
honestly, i think i'll go for kids when i start looking around at the other toddlers and feeling like i want one for myself. and probably not much before. i don't have some narcissistic desire to replicate myself or extend the reach of my ambitions through a kid or anything.
maybe we'll get a dog first. that seems to be a typical millennial compromise.
Yeah, I often hear about girls getting a dog before they decide to have a kid with a guy. The ladies test to see how the guy treats the dog. If he kicks the dog or makes the woman do all of the work then obviously he won't be a good dad. If he nurtures and takes care of it then he will likely show the same behavior towards a child.
Yeah, I often hear about girls getting a dog before they decide to have a kid with a guy. The ladies test to see how the guy treats the dog. If he kicks the dog or makes the woman do all of the work then obviously he won't be a good dad. If he nurtures and takes care of it then he will likely show the same behavior towards a child.
lmao, i was thinking more along the lines of 'can you stick to the added commitments of daily walking, feeding, training and disciplining, etc'.
suffice to say i don't think i'll be father material if taking the pooch out for a walk once a day proves too onerous.
So I went to church today. First time in at least 20 years.
It was over pretty quickly. It went by faster than I remembered. Also the people were much more dressed down than I remember in my youth. I wore a dress shirt and tie. The girl I was with wore a dress. Meanwhile the guy giving us the wine and crackers were wearing hockey sweaters. There was only one priest who was Filipino and the boy helper he had was also Filipino. The priest also had an accent. He mentioned a story about someone meeting George Washington for a pardon in the 1870s...lol.
Also I probably have the flu now. When the wine thing happened I took a sip of it from the cup. I think only the girl I was with and some old lady were before me but that shit is still gross and I understand why my mom wouldn't let us drink from the one cup when we were kids. I didn't know the words to any of it or what to say when it was our turn to respond. So I just mumbled something or another.
The girl I was with also did the kneeling thing when she entered the church and the church seating. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to do that or not or how to do it so I probably looked weird just standing over the white girl I was with while she was doing all the motions. Speaking of the Italian girl...it turns out she doesn't like the Pope. The Pope who is dying? She doesn't like him and was happy to get a new one. Before she came over to my place I had put my Pope Francis candle out on my kitchen counter as a sign of respect or something. I don't know. When she got into my apartment I went straight to the pope candle and tossed it under the kitchen counter. I think she caught me doing it but didn't say anything. We had sex the night before and when we were getting ready to go to church I gave her a Plan B to take. Which means she twice had a guy stick something white and round in mouth this morning. I went and picked her up from her parents place in the (white) Newark suburbs. The house was just like one of those from the Sopranos. I had met the dad last week and he didn't seem enthusiastic to meet me. The mom was nice and we talked a little on the phone this morning while I was speed racing to get the daughter home so I can have the rest of the day to myself.
I don't actually enjoy spending time with this girl. Or maybe I just have seasonal depression. I don't know. Anyway I noticed she didn't have a necklace and I asked why she didn't have crucifix. She said she hasn't found one she liked yet. So I put my expensive one on her and told her to wear it. I didn't have the heart to tell her to take it off and give it back before I dropped her off home. So I went to Amazon and looked up rosary's. I saw a "genuine silver Italian made rosary." There were a few options. I went with the $40 one instead of the $105. I just bought a car. I need to build up my savings again and I want my chain back. Anyway to wrap this all up..in conclusion... Being a trad Catholic just isn't for me. I was bored through the whole thing. When it was time to kneel and pray. All I could get out was "Dear Lord...I can't do this." Over and over again all I could get out was "I just can't." And that was my Sunday