I kind of exploded. I made my dad cry at least twice and his girlfriend is afraid of me.
...
I had a bad day down here and something set me off. I spent 8 hours angry and fuming in a dark room in South Carolina until I posted a 13 paragraph text message to the family group chat at 12 AM.
It was directed at my dad and his girlfriend. His girlfriend monitors his text messages since she thinks he will cheat on her since he has and will. After all he cheated on my mom with her.
In the text message I made several hurtful comments about his girlfriend. I said how I spent 8 hours in a dark room thinking about bad things happening to her.
In retrospect that is probably really frightening. Imagine you are just going about your day oblivious to someone plotting against you.
Then you find out at 4:30 AM once that someone calls you on the phone.
Yeah I called her at 4AM. I tried calling my dad. His phone was off though. The girlfriend had given me her phone number. I had her number since I met her thrice. I was friendly and polite and she thought she was making headway because of how friendly I was with her. I was apoplectic though and it boiled over.
So she picks up the phone at 4:30 AM. She was in bed because it was a Friday.
She picked up and I politely asked her to put my dad on the phone. I told him to turn his phone on and read my text message now. So he went to the bathroom with her phone and his and read the text message. He read it and was upset. He said he will talk to me the next day.
Of course his girlfriend was concerned and read the message that woke her up at 4 in the morning.
I was hoping she read it. Off the top of my head I remember calling her a whore, white trash, a white trash whore, whore from Staten Island, and maybe a slut. I also said she was a drinker and smoker and looked older than she was. I called her fat. I said the first time I met her I thought she was a slut and whore. I also mentioned that I told the same thing to all of the family members of ours that she met and was nice to her face but had that preconceived notion of her. I also said bad things will happen to her someday for everything she did. That scared her.
When the affair was first discovered, my little sister found the lady's three daughters. She contacted the daughters and told them that their mom had been sleeping with a married man. The lady had to sit down her three daughters to explain things. She hadn't told them about that. If my sister was able to find them, I would definitely find them. It is known that I am the techy of the family. My sister has made peace with the lady but I am sure my dad and my sister have told them that I am a little crazy.
My dad called my the next day and cried. He also called my aunt and cried. He spoke to me later and cried and a little since he "doesn't want to lose his son." He explained that he, my sister, and the lady are afraid and think I am dangerous too.
The fact that I upset the lady makes me feel good.
My dad and sister have also heard me say before
sighI told both of them that I hope her daughters die and she doesn't because I want her to and have to live the fact that her children are dead. I want her to suffer. Not die suffer. I doubt my dad told her I said that but I am sure my sister and dad believe I would target the rest of her family too. Because I would. I also wrote in the text that I will paraphrase "I don't want to let go of my anger. I don't want to get better. I am happy to suffer to see her suffer."
So when I return to NJ my dad wants to take me out to eat to have a talk. He cried a little on the phone. I am going to tell him:
"I want you to be happy. I am okay with you seeing anyone else in the entire world. I would be very happy if you found another person to be with. But I will never accept her. And his relationship with her comes at the detriment of his relationship with me. And there will never be peace between her and me. I will someday explode again and strike at her and her loved ones. I can't help that. If you care about her, you would leave her since I will keep exploding. And if she retaliates, I will escalate. And we will see who gives up first."
Why is this is the marijuana thread, RTHKI asked
They don't have marijuana down here. If I vape some pot I would be happy to just play video games while my girlfriend hangs out with me.
I have my work MacBook. It doesn't run HOI4 either.