it’s actually the asian women who get wary about ‘sabbaticals’. clearly as they’re targeted by the fetishist crowd, alarm bells start ringing when a foreigner spends extended periods of time out there. a british-chinese girl who i’ve been acquainted with for a while said to me recently ‘oh haven’t you got that out of your system yet?’ they’re the most cynical, in other words.
an awful lot of young brits are basically looking abroad. it’s the Economy, Stupid, etc. there’s a whole industry of influencers encouraging brits to rent in thailand, move their businesses to dubai; as well as the usual stream of people to aus, nz, canada, better jobs in the states, etc. basically, checking out of the yookay isn’t seen with such suspicion. i think america is fundamentally more inward-looking and parochial in that regard; people who reach escape velocity and emigrate may be questioned that little bit more. young brits basically regard the country as a remorseless shitshow. mostly the reactions ive gotten from western women is ‘cool!’ they’re all obsessed with korea anyway. probably half of them fantasize about moving to seoul/tokyo themselves.
i also look like a regular guy. i have hobbies. i can talk about books and movies and fashion and politics. et cetera. most of my outward social feeds reflect this; i’m basically posting about music/literary shit 80% of the time, not ‘omg asia kawaii ^__^’ content. it really isn’t that hard to just be a … normal person about things, and for your interests to come across earnestly. in all my interactions out here, it’s pretty rare i feel the need to, like, self-justify to anyone. most of the prickliness i've encountered has been of the 'omg so privileged to be able to travel and work where you want/white male feels safe in all spaces' type schtick.
i don’t really know what you mean about being habituated now to asian women only, lmao. i haven’t really ‘gone native’. my other half did grad school in NYC and lived and worked in the states for like 10 years. her way of thinking is basically western; i haven’t had to like change my thinking or behaviour
that much. i had a long-term dalliance with a korean where the cultural differences really were more apparent, but in the back of my mind i always sort of knew it wasn’t going to go the distance - probably for that reason. i am not ‘conditioned’ to only suit asian women lol. almost every time ive been back home and not in a committed relationship, i’ve resumed or picked up romantic dalliances in the UK. i think you may be projecting a little there. it seems you have found a conspicuously ‘non-western’ type of domesticity and a very archetypally asian partner in terms of mindset. my other half works for google and socialises almost entirely with westerners lol. it’s not quite the deep cultural immersion and reprogramming you imagine it to be. our domestic setup is pretty much the same vibe as i had from long-term relationships back home.
i actually recommend living way outside your culture and dating widely. i do think it’s made me a more well-rounded person (shudder) rather than some weird deviant chasing fetishes
it has helped me examine some of my own cultural blindspots and to think ‘huh, how about that’ more often than not.
Last edited by uziq (2025-12-20 02:44:22)