BF2S Forums EE Chats 2142

Sorry to hear that, bad times all round.

Suicide is difficult to deal with, you'll second guess yourself forever but its a thousand straws which do it, underlying issues which are no-one's fault are the base.

The only useful advice I've seen is you don't get over it, you get used to it. Right now you need to watch out for your own wellbeing as you go through the process.

Last edited by Dilbert_X (2022-01-16 19:30:00)

This helped put some things in context

https://www.booktopia.com.au/the-suicid … 18018.html

Down the track a memorial can help.
eg https://www.fowa.org.uk/support-us/supp … -adoption/

Things will get better.

Did you donate to a charity in her honor like Dilbert suggested?

Larssen, are you thinking about hurting yourself? Let me know if you need someone to talk to about that.

this guy doubled his wealth during the pandemic.

this is your god, engineers?

I've been prescribed temazepam. Besides helping me sleep I feel like it's emotionally dulling throughout the day as well. It's hard to precisely remember the last few days, it all feels like a surreal blur.

I was given 15 capsules, so it's only for the next 2 weeks

Take care of yourself, and get off that stuff as soon as you can.

at least now you'll know what all your favourite black rappers are going on about when they talk about bars or xannies.

One of her best friends came to visit me today and it's changing my outlook seeing and hearing how much devastation her final act left behind. Her best friend who planned to go to a party with her but cancelled the day before her death (because of a covid infection) blaming herself, the guy she most recently hooked up/broke up with who's now in trauma therapy, the guy friend who's now lost 3 friends in a year, the neighbour who saw it happen and tried to reanimate her, all the renewed anger from remaining friends/family directed at someone who sexually harassed her in the past, the shock from her former colleagues who I had to inform etc.

It's terrible. I loved this girl, I feel so sorry for how desperate she must've felt that last day and accept that she made this choice but what she left behind is so enormously tragic as well. I've taken to speaking with as many people from her circle who are affected as I can, hoping to offer some comfort by exchanging memories etc.

I've spent much of the last days digging as far as I could into understanding what happened to her. If anyone is interested, I came across the American Association of Suicidology (suicidology.org). It has many resources that I've found extremely helpful in all this.

https://suicidology.org/resources/suici … survivors/

If you know anyone who's severely depressed and/or contemplating suicide please refer them here and make them read the survivors of suicide handbook. (SOS handbook on the site, near the bottom) Do so yourself as well.

Last edited by Larssen (2022-01-23 09:12:26)

Various thoughts:

Suicide can be like a bomb going off, it affects 10s-100s of people around them. Everyone blames themselves.
Watch out for everyone and yourself, one can trigger another, I've seen that.

Generally these things are 10-20 years in the making, often starting in childhood. Some people don't have the coping mechanisms to deal with an average life, some people have really fucked up lives, everything goes wrong for them.
Abuse, especially as a child, does cause physical changes in the brain and thats hard to address.

I've been down the rabbit-hole of digging into every aspect of someone's life after a suicide, you do turn up unexpected things, it can eat you up.

Last edited by Dilbert_X (2022-01-23 18:09:08)