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KEN-JENNINGS
I am all that is MOD!
+2,776|4671|949

Jay wrote:

Dilbert_X wrote:

Jay wrote:


But did you use the CPM?
You have no idea how much I would have like to use the CPM, however:

a) Between
- the small amount information the team has been drip-fed on the initial phases of the project
- The final end date
There is an ocean of blankness so using CPM would be impossible

b) Its inevitable I am implicated in every step of the critical path so whether I write it down or not my life will be hell.

At least I was complimented on it "Well done Dilbert, now we know what do do and when, this chart thing is a great idea - did you come up with it all yourself?"
Scheduling is hooey imo. It just gives people who don't do the work a club to hit you with when the unknown inevitably crops up. At best it's just a fancy to-do list with arbitrary times attached.
Project timelines are important because you have to know which stakeholders to push or wait on, which teams are working on which feature and how long that will take, how delays in the timeline affect other pieces, etc.  To say scheduling is hooey is obviously you showing a lack of experience.
Dilbert_X
The X stands for
+1,599|4145|eXtreme to the maX
Project timelines are important because they show whether the project is feasible in the timescale and/or where the choke points are.
Plus stakeholders get to put in trigger points. A design review before commitment to manufacture is usually a good move.
Your virus system is infected with windows. Please to be giving me your credit card details urgently
KEN-JENNINGS
I am all that is MOD!
+2,776|4671|949

Also, I've never seen a project stick to its timeline.  ALWAYS gets pushed out.  But that's just your standard battle between sales/management and engineering/product teams.
Jay
Bork! Bork! Bork!
+1,962|3397|London, England

KEN-JENNINGS wrote:

Jay wrote:

Dilbert_X wrote:


You have no idea how much I would have like to use the CPM, however:

a) Between
- the small amount information the team has been drip-fed on the initial phases of the project
- The final end date
There is an ocean of blankness so using CPM would be impossible

b) Its inevitable I am implicated in every step of the critical path so whether I write it down or not my life will be hell.

At least I was complimented on it "Well done Dilbert, now we know what do do and when, this chart thing is a great idea - did you come up with it all yourself?"
Scheduling is hooey imo. It just gives people who don't do the work a club to hit you with when the unknown inevitably crops up. At best it's just a fancy to-do list with arbitrary times attached.
Project timelines are important because you have to know which stakeholders to push or wait on, which teams are working on which feature and how long that will take, how delays in the timeline affect other pieces, etc.  To say scheduling is hooey is obviously you showing a lack of experience.
In theory I think it's important. But schedules are generally compiled by schedulers, not people doing the work, and they get pressured to be overly optimistic by project managers trying to look good. It's then my job to sit across the table from a contractor and ask him why he's behind when we both know exactly why. It's good to have a goal, and a rough timeline with checkpoints along the way to reference, but at the end of the day it's just a guideline. I wish more agency types understood that.
"Ah, you miserable creatures! You who think that you are so great! You who judge humanity to be so small! You who wish to reform everything! Why don't you reform yourselves? That task would be sufficient enough."
-Frederick Bastiat
Dilbert_X
The X stands for
+1,599|4145|eXtreme to the maX
Unrealistic schedules, often created by people who have no clue, are a problem as I mentioned before

On the other hand in my experience work will invariably expand to fill the available time and often more. However long you give some people they will never fail to overrun by 20-30%.
Personally I have enough tasks to complete to more than fill my day every day, so unless something is interesting or enjoyable I will put it off until it achieves critical path status. No doubt most people are in the same boat, which is why most tasks barely squeak the delivery date.

Plus I deal with a bunch of people who sit on tasks for no reason until they're well past critical and hand them to me with "THERE'S NO TIME FOR DUE DILIGENCE JUST DO IT NOW" these people can get fucked and I'll do it if and when I feel like it with full diligence, as its my pert bottom on the line and not theirs.
Your virus system is infected with windows. Please to be giving me your credit card details urgently
SuperJail Warden
Member
+181|1759
So next school year I might move into administration and become a attendance officer. I would do investigations on families and take them to court.

Next summer I am taking the law enforcement exam since my police officer friends keep pressing me to do it and telling me the tricks to gaming the test.

Big things are happening guys.
Adams_BJ
Warman is a hermaphrodite.
+2,026|4662|Little Bentcock
I can't wait to see you beating black men and getting gobbies off teens to get out of tickets.
Ultrafunkula
Hector: Ding, ding, ding, ding...
+1,974|4513|6 6 4 oh, I forget

5 interviews this year and zero contracts signed. Dammit...
SuperJail Warden
Member
+181|1759

Ultrafunkula wrote:

5 interviews this year and zero contracts signed. Dammit...
#WINNING
Dilbert_X
The X stands for
+1,599|4145|eXtreme to the maX
I need a holiday to recover from my holiday. Maybe my manager will sign it off as sick leave.
Your virus system is infected with windows. Please to be giving me your credit card details urgently
Nappy
Apprentice
+151|4269|NSW, Australia

Had an interview last Thursday for a locomotive driver (trainee).
I'm currently a level 2 (Drivers assistant/2nd person) and if I get this I will become a level 3 (Driver under instruction) after some further training
SuperJail Warden
Member
+181|1759
Good luck. Hope it all works out unlike ultrafunkula
Jay
Bork! Bork! Bork!
+1,962|3397|London, England
I need a job where I can yell at clients and tell them how stupid they are. Any tips?
"Ah, you miserable creatures! You who think that you are so great! You who judge humanity to be so small! You who wish to reform everything! Why don't you reform yourselves? That task would be sufficient enough."
-Frederick Bastiat
Adams_BJ
Warman is a hermaphrodite.
+2,026|4662|Little Bentcock
Join the army
Jay
Bork! Bork! Bork!
+1,962|3397|London, England
I did that, I just got yelled at and told I was too smart by stupid people
"Ah, you miserable creatures! You who think that you are so great! You who judge humanity to be so small! You who wish to reform everything! Why don't you reform yourselves? That task would be sufficient enough."
-Frederick Bastiat
Dilbert_X
The X stands for
+1,599|4145|eXtreme to the maX

Jay wrote:

I need a job where I can yell at clients and tell them how stupid they are. Any tips?
You can have my job, somehow I still haven't got fired.

I was talking to a young project manager at our company function, he asked me what was the most important skill I needed as a mechanical engineer managing multiple projects for multiple customers - "You need to be able to tell people to go fuck themselves"

What about this?
https://docs.jobs.gov.au/system/files/d … chsa_1.pdf

If you're prepared to take a drug test I think you could take your pick.

Employer requirements and unsuitable applicants
 Around 83 per cent of applicants were deemed unsuitable by employers.
 The main reasons for unsuitability were lack of appropriate qualifications or licensing.
 Although employers required applicants to be trade qualified, almost 60 per cent of all applicants were unqualified.
 In addition to qualifications and experience, employers required applicants to have appropriate licences (such as the ARCtick refrigerant handling licence, White Card and restricted electrical licence.)
 Other reasons for unsuitability included poor presentation, failing to present for a work trial or unwillingness to commit to drug and alcohol screening.

Actually fuck that, what kind of employer expects employees be licensed or to commit to drug or alcohol screening?

Last edited by Dilbert_X (2018-10-11 04:19:45)

Your virus system is infected with windows. Please to be giving me your credit card details urgently
uziq
Member
+146|1491
become a head chef. lots of cocaine as a perq of the job.
Dilbert_X
The X stands for
+1,599|4145|eXtreme to the maX
How about personal trainer?
You get to yell at people and tell them they're stupid, fat and lazy.

Otherwise I'm sure there's some kind of fetishism you could get into.
Your virus system is infected with windows. Please to be giving me your credit card details urgently
SuperJail Warden
Member
+181|1759
Become a teacher. You can yell at children all day and be rewarded for it.
Jay
Bork! Bork! Bork!
+1,962|3397|London, England

Dilbert_X wrote:

Jay wrote:

I need a job where I can yell at clients and tell them how stupid they are. Any tips?
You can have my job, somehow I still haven't got fired.

I was talking to a young project manager at our company function, he asked me what was the most important skill I needed as a mechanical engineer managing multiple projects for multiple customers - "You need to be able to tell people to go fuck themselves"

What about this?
https://docs.jobs.gov.au/system/files/d … chsa_1.pdf

If you're prepared to take a drug test I think you could take your pick.

Employer requirements and unsuitable applicants
 Around 83 per cent of applicants were deemed unsuitable by employers.
 The main reasons for unsuitability were lack of appropriate qualifications or licensing.
 Although employers required applicants to be trade qualified, almost 60 per cent of all applicants were unqualified.
 In addition to qualifications and experience, employers required applicants to have appropriate licences (such as the ARCtick refrigerant handling licence, White Card and restricted electrical licence.)
 Other reasons for unsuitability included poor presentation, failing to present for a work trial or unwillingness to commit to drug and alcohol screening.

Actually fuck that, what kind of employer expects employees be licensed or to commit to drug or alcohol screening?
I'm not a mechanic
"Ah, you miserable creatures! You who think that you are so great! You who judge humanity to be so small! You who wish to reform everything! Why don't you reform yourselves? That task would be sufficient enough."
-Frederick Bastiat
SuperJail Warden
Member
+181|1759
I have never had to take a drug test for work. Even in education. Probably due to budget reasons and the complicated hiring process for teachers.
uziq
Member
+146|1491
my boss knows i've done drugs. me and my colleagues have literally done drugs in front of our seniors at the afterparty to the company xmas party.

/shrug. guess that's publishing for you. what's the big deal if you're not working with vulnerable people or minors?

Last edited by uziq (2018-10-11 07:20:42)

Jay
Bork! Bork! Bork!
+1,962|3397|London, England

SuperJail Warden wrote:

I have never had to take a drug test for work. Even in education. Probably due to budget reasons and the complicated hiring process for teachers.
We used to get them regularly in the military. Every christmas they'd catch 10 or so people in my company and throw them out. Never taken one otherwise.
"Ah, you miserable creatures! You who think that you are so great! You who judge humanity to be so small! You who wish to reform everything! Why don't you reform yourselves? That task would be sufficient enough."
-Frederick Bastiat
SuperJail Warden
Member
+181|1759
Since I work at a school I technically have to narc on any parent or student who comes in smelling like pot despite my secret marijuana habit.
KEN-JENNINGS
I am all that is MOD!
+2,776|4671|949

you can fly within california with weed now.  It's nice that the social stigma is decreasing, but pot-related DUIs are the new punishment for cops to dole out.

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