Announcement

Join us on Discord: https://discord.gg/nf43FxS
Discuss.
DesertFox-
The very model of a modern major general
+703|4643|United States of America

DesertFox- wrote:

My manager called me to her office yesterday and offered me the opportunity to go to Switzerland for a week as a subject matter expert on a global program that's being rolled out. This is an interesting development.
Update: While we're over there, we'll likely be going to the site in Germany as well! And I found out for intercontinental travel, they pay for business class.
SuperJail Warden
Member
+176|1677
In order to apply for Newark Public Schools, you need to provide 3 essays with a maximum of 500 words each. You would think they would make it easy for someone who is genuinely open to teaching in their hoodrat schools.
Jay
Bork! Bork! Bork!
+1,961|3316|London, England
How is 500 words difficult?
"Ah, you miserable creatures! You who think that you are so great! You who judge humanity to be so small! You who wish to reform everything! Why don't you reform yourselves? That task would be sufficient enough."
-Frederick Bastiat
Dilbert_X
The X stands for
+1,597|4064|eXtreme to the maX
Why do they even have schools?
Surely an arena would deliver better results.
Your virus system is infected with windows. Please to be giving me your credit card details urgently
SuperJail Warden
Member
+176|1677

Jay wrote:

How is 500 words difficult?
It is not hard. It is just a pain in the ass. A big one. For instance this is one of the questions

Essay #2 (limit your response to 500 words or less ) You have graded the benchmark assessments that you gave to your students during the first week of school. You find that of the 30 students in your classroom, 10 students are below grade level (with 3 students being more than 2 grade levels behind), 15 students are on grade level, and 5 students are above grade level. a) How do you use this student data and information to drive your lesson planning? b) What are your end of year goals for your students? How do you monitor progress towards these goals? c) How do you share progress toward these goals with your students, parents and school leader?
I taught social studies. I want to teach social studies. None of that shit is relevant to me. In fact I have zero experience with benchmarks and assessments.
SuperJail Warden
Member
+176|1677

Dilbert_X wrote:

Why do they even have schools?
Surely an arena would deliver better results.
https://media.giphy.com/media/iJxHzcuNcCJXi/giphy.gif
Jay
Bork! Bork! Bork!
+1,961|3316|London, England

SuperJail Warden wrote:

Jay wrote:

How is 500 words difficult?
It is not hard. It is just a pain in the ass. A big one. For instance this is one of the questions

Essay #2 (limit your response to 500 words or less ) You have graded the benchmark assessments that you gave to your students during the first week of school. You find that of the 30 students in your classroom, 10 students are below grade level (with 3 students being more than 2 grade levels behind), 15 students are on grade level, and 5 students are above grade level. a) How do you use this student data and information to drive your lesson planning? b) What are your end of year goals for your students? How do you monitor progress towards these goals? c) How do you share progress toward these goals with your students, parents and school leader?
I taught social studies. I want to teach social studies. None of that shit is relevant to me. In fact I have zero experience with benchmarks and assessments.
Well, it's Newark, most of their kids are way below standard so they deal with benchmarks constantly. Just be honest and say you'll sit in the classroom and feed correct answers on the final to the shittiest students like everyone else does while ignoring the bright ones but hoping they pull up the class average anyway.

Last edited by Jay (2018-02-25 17:13:25)

"Ah, you miserable creatures! You who think that you are so great! You who judge humanity to be so small! You who wish to reform everything! Why don't you reform yourselves? That task would be sufficient enough."
-Frederick Bastiat
Dilbert_X
The X stands for
+1,597|4064|eXtreme to the maX

SuperJail Warden wrote:

Dilbert_X wrote:

Why do they even have schools?
Surely an arena would deliver better results.
TODO: FIX GAL IMAGES
Or perhaps an octagon, which could be electrified for special occasions.
Your virus system is infected with windows. Please to be giving me your credit card details urgently
Ultrafunkula
Mendoza's hit!
+1,973|4431|6 6 4 oh, I forget

Pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff..... 2nd place in the last interview. Goddomot!
Dilbert_X
The X stands for
+1,597|4064|eXtreme to the maX
My colleague, who is supposed to do project planning, has given me twenty projects with the due date 'as soon as possible' for every one, projects she's been sitting on for about four months, one month of which she was on holiday for. All these mini-projects feed into multiple minor projects which in turn feed into one major over-arching project - it all has to be done in perfect sequence with scant resources and be delivered to a very fixed deadline. This is easily 100x times more complex than anything which has been done before and its all set up to be a perfect shit-storm without an overall plan worked back from the final deadline.
Your virus system is infected with windows. Please to be giving me your credit card details urgently
AussieReaper
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
+5,760|4111|what

So you told her to go fuck herself, right?
https://i.imgur.com/maVpUMN.png

"coz you a far cry from acclaim nigga ubisoft"
Dilbert_X
The X stands for
+1,597|4064|eXtreme to the maX
Not yet, getting close.

But I thought I'd be the bigger man, created a project plan for her with the snippets of information we've managed to glean so far, I went with pastel colours so as to be non-confrontational.

Really, I've been begging her for a plan for months, the purchasing manager has been begging for a plan for months, even the customer is now begging for a plan - I guess they're getting twitchy about this thing being delivered. Meantime all we get is a lot of gabbling, arm-waving and snippiness.
Your virus system is infected with windows. Please to be giving me your credit card details urgently
KEN-JENNINGS
I am all that is MOD!
+2,776|4590|949

I bet you really do make a mean gantt
SuperJail Warden
Member
+176|1677
I helped my principal and school resource officer to try to set up a black parent who smelled like pot when he dropped off his kid and asked for a report card. Police searched his car and everything.
Jay
Bork! Bork! Bork!
+1,961|3316|London, England

SuperJail Warden wrote:

I helped my principal and school resource officer to try to set up a black parent who smelled like pot when he dropped off his kid and asked for a report card. Police searched his car and everything.
Why? Do you really think the kid is better off with their parent in prison and with CPS hounding them? Hypocrite.
"Ah, you miserable creatures! You who think that you are so great! You who judge humanity to be so small! You who wish to reform everything! Why don't you reform yourselves? That task would be sufficient enough."
-Frederick Bastiat
Dilbert_X
The X stands for
+1,597|4064|eXtreme to the maX

KEN-JENNINGS wrote:

I bet you really do make a mean gantt
I have been complimented on both the quality of my gantt charts and the idea to create on in the first place.

Jesus fuck there are some people who really don't know how to create a project plan or run a project.

My favourite war-story is about a project manager who expected me to do the entire mechanical side of a project between 10:30 and 12:00 on a Wednesday morning with no advance notice. "B-b-b-b-b-ut its there in my plan, Dilbert to do mechanical design 10:30-12:00" in the end it took six months.
Your virus system is infected with windows. Please to be giving me your credit card details urgently
SuperJail Warden
Member
+176|1677

Jay wrote:

SuperJail Warden wrote:

I helped my principal and school resource officer to try to set up a black parent who smelled like pot when he dropped off his kid and asked for a report card. Police searched his car and everything.
Why? Do you really think the kid is better off with their parent in prison and with CPS hounding them? Hypocrite.
How am I a hypocrite? I don't even own any children.
Jay
Bork! Bork! Bork!
+1,961|3316|London, England

SuperJail Warden wrote:

Jay wrote:

SuperJail Warden wrote:

I helped my principal and school resource officer to try to set up a black parent who smelled like pot when he dropped off his kid and asked for a report card. Police searched his car and everything.
Why? Do you really think the kid is better off with their parent in prison and with CPS hounding them? Hypocrite.
How am I a hypocrite? I don't even own any children.
You smoke weed and teach them.
"Ah, you miserable creatures! You who think that you are so great! You who judge humanity to be so small! You who wish to reform everything! Why don't you reform yourselves? That task would be sufficient enough."
-Frederick Bastiat
Jay
Bork! Bork! Bork!
+1,961|3316|London, England

Dilbert_X wrote:

KEN-JENNINGS wrote:

I bet you really do make a mean gantt
I have been complimented on both the quality of my gantt charts and the idea to create on in the first place.

Jesus fuck there are some people who really don't know how to create a project plan or run a project.

My favourite war-story is about a project manager who expected me to do the entire mechanical side of a project between 10:30 and 12:00 on a Wednesday morning with no advance notice. "B-b-b-b-b-ut its there in my plan, Dilbert to do mechanical design 10:30-12:00" in the end it took six months.
But did you use the CPM?
"Ah, you miserable creatures! You who think that you are so great! You who judge humanity to be so small! You who wish to reform everything! Why don't you reform yourselves? That task would be sufficient enough."
-Frederick Bastiat
KEN-JENNINGS
I am all that is MOD!
+2,776|4590|949

Jay wrote:

SuperJail Warden wrote:

Jay wrote:

Why? Do you really think the kid is better off with their parent in prison and with CPS hounding them? Hypocrite.
How am I a hypocrite? I don't even own any children.
You smoke weed and teach them.
No Jay, you misread his original quote.  Here it is, interpreted for you:

SuperJail Warden wrote:

Today I saw a black parent and he looked like the kind of person to smoke weed and I wanted to make myself feel better than him so I thought about calling the SRO to investigate but instead I went home, jerked off to asian cat-stomping porn and made this post.
SuperJail Warden
Member
+176|1677
No I really told the principal and we held him up while the SRO got a car in place to pull him over. They pulled him over and searched his whole car and found nothing. On my way out of school today, I saw him pull up in front of the school with his truck in the bus drop off area and get flagged down by the SRO. They were searching his car again by the time I left. This time it was in front of his kid and girlfriend. The daughter was crying.

Last edited by SuperJail Warden (2018-03-20 13:16:23)

heymaggie
Post limited. Contact Admin to Be Promoted.
+0|189|Texas
It's not just you who hate your job I guess all of us, but hey we have bills to pay.
Dilbert_X
The X stands for
+1,597|4064|eXtreme to the maX

Jay wrote:

Dilbert_X wrote:

KEN-JENNINGS wrote:

I bet you really do make a mean gantt
I have been complimented on both the quality of my gantt charts and the idea to create on in the first place.

Jesus fuck there are some people who really don't know how to create a project plan or run a project.

My favourite war-story is about a project manager who expected me to do the entire mechanical side of a project between 10:30 and 12:00 on a Wednesday morning with no advance notice. "B-b-b-b-b-ut its there in my plan, Dilbert to do mechanical design 10:30-12:00" in the end it took six months.
But did you use the CPM?
You have no idea how much I would have like to use the CPM, however:

a) Between
- the small amount information the team has been drip-fed on the initial phases of the project
- The final end date
There is an ocean of blankness so using CPM would be impossible

b) Its inevitable I am implicated in every step of the critical path so whether I write it down or not my life will be hell.

At least I was complimented on it "Well done Dilbert, now we know what do do and when, this chart thing is a great idea - did you come up with it all yourself?"
Your virus system is infected with windows. Please to be giving me your credit card details urgently
Jay
Bork! Bork! Bork!
+1,961|3316|London, England

Dilbert_X wrote:

Jay wrote:

Dilbert_X wrote:


I have been complimented on both the quality of my gantt charts and the idea to create on in the first place.

Jesus fuck there are some people who really don't know how to create a project plan or run a project.

My favourite war-story is about a project manager who expected me to do the entire mechanical side of a project between 10:30 and 12:00 on a Wednesday morning with no advance notice. "B-b-b-b-b-ut its there in my plan, Dilbert to do mechanical design 10:30-12:00" in the end it took six months.
But did you use the CPM?
You have no idea how much I would have like to use the CPM, however:

a) Between
- the small amount information the team has been drip-fed on the initial phases of the project
- The final end date
There is an ocean of blankness so using CPM would be impossible

b) Its inevitable I am implicated in every step of the critical path so whether I write it down or not my life will be hell.

At least I was complimented on it "Well done Dilbert, now we know what do do and when, this chart thing is a great idea - did you come up with it all yourself?"
Scheduling is hooey imo. It just gives people who don't do the work a club to hit you with when the unknown inevitably crops up. At best it's just a fancy to-do list with arbitrary times attached.
"Ah, you miserable creatures! You who think that you are so great! You who judge humanity to be so small! You who wish to reform everything! Why don't you reform yourselves? That task would be sufficient enough."
-Frederick Bastiat
Dilbert_X
The X stands for
+1,597|4064|eXtreme to the maX
Unknowns are one thing, missed knowns due to failure to plan are another.
In my experience any project needs a rough beginning to end plan, if only to make sure everyone knows what steps need to be taken. More so when there's a fixed deadline.
I've been on too many projects where one person allocates themselves all the time in the world and every other task has to fit around them, too many projects where people make ridiculous assumptions, and too many projects where people completely miss critical steps and then complain they take 'too long' when its the step being missed that was the real issue. Whatever happens I seem to have to pick up the pieces so bleh.
Your virus system is infected with windows. Please to be giving me your credit card details urgently

Board footer

Privacy Policy - © 2018 Jeff Minard