BF2S Forums The BF2s girl-problems thread

Jaekus wrote:

HaiBai wrote:

Jaekus wrote:

Would you sign the mortgage on a house without checking it out first?
Would you sign the mortgage on the only house you looked at?

Think about it.

i obviously have no experience, but are you seriously saying that bad sex indicates that a couple can't passionately love each other?

No, that's not what I'm saying. How did you come to that conclusion?

sorry but it's just hard to imagine.  besides, if i had to guess, i'd say that love drives sex, not the other way around.

Jay wrote:

HaiBai wrote:

Jay wrote:

People, shifty wants this life

She obviously puts out.

maybe they're too retarded to have sex during the parts of a woman's cycle in which she's unlikely to get pregnant

Or they can not be retarded and catholic and instead use a rubber or take birth control pills.

do what you want

HaiBai wrote:

Jaekus wrote:

HaiBai wrote:

i obviously have no experience, but are you seriously saying that bad sex indicates that a couple can't passionately love each other?

No, that's not what I'm saying. How did you come to that conclusion?

sorry but it's just hard to imagine.  besides, if i had to guess, i'd say that love drives sex, not the other way around.

If you read back you would see that:

a) I was talking to shifty;
b) he was talking about sex before marriage.

NeXuS wrote:

I have a particular situation which is quite odd.

Me and my GF of 3 years mutually broke up to better our lives. Me and go out and experience things with no limits or worries and her to situate her life. We both know in the end we want to marry each other. So we took a break. She decides she isnt going to date any guy because they wont compare to me (even in bed) which made me happies on the insides. Anyways, she is going to date her chick friend until we decide to get back together. In the mean time im going to find me ladies, party get it out of my system and in an untold time I will go back to her and sort it all out. Isn't that weird? She's okay with what im going to do. I'm okay with her.

TL:DR I turned my gf gay until i come back to reclaim her.

In steps.  Suggest a threesome first.

NeXuS wrote:

I have a particular situation which is quite odd.

Me and my GF of 3 years mutually broke up to better our lives. Me and go out and experience things with no limits or worries and her to situate her life. We both know in the end we want to marry each other. So we took a break. She decides she isnt going to date any guy because they wont compare to me (even in bed) which made me happies on the insides. Anyways, she is going to date her chick friend until we decide to get back together. In the mean time im going to find me ladies, party get it out of my system and in an untold time I will go back to her and sort it all out. Isn't that weird? She's okay with what im going to do. I'm okay with her.

TL:DR I turned my gf gay until i come back to reclaim her.

Good luck with that plan of yours, she is probably fucking some other guy right now.

We both know in the end we want to marry each other.

lol

HaiBai wrote:

Adams_BJ wrote:

HaiBai wrote:

and what's frowned upon besides sticking it into another man's butt?

i understand where you're coming from if you're gay, but otherwise, you've completely lost me.

anal sex, protected sex, prostate stimulation, sex with multiple partners, sex before marriage etc etc - things seen as craven in the eyes of the lord. Dont make me spell everything out for you man, you know what is considered healthy and what is considered taboo, youre just playing devils advocate. I was merely pointing out the difference between a strong sex drive, and an exciting sex life, and the difference between those that are free from the fear of being judged over their desires to those that are god fearing and wish to ascend to heaven.

anal sex and prostate stimulation are both fine. don't know where you got those from.

obviously, protected sex, sex with anyone other than your wife, and sex before marriage are not allowed.

you can avoid pregnancy without using birth control/condoms, so that doesn't mean anything.

so basically, having sex with anyone other than your spouse is why you're saying a 'christian's' sex life is not exciting, which i already pointed out.  i guess you can make that point, but your spouse is the only person you should be having sex with in the longrun, so it's honestly not that big of a problem.

Never said they were sins, now youre taking it out of context

Every priest/father/padre/nun/sister whatever I have ever asked (would be close to 100, all across australia and other countries and online) has frowned (not condemned) upon anything other than vaginal intercourse,. Ofcourse that will flow onto their followers as something that should also be frowned upon, and then many/most of the HARDCORE theists (again that I have talked to, which is numerous) will refuse to do it, not just because of this reason alone, but that flows onto the next point as well. And when your entire community frowns upon it or sees it as dirty, once again you are afraid of being judged.

Having sex at certain periods to avoid pregnancy could be seen as bad, same with oral or anal intercourse. You are spilling the seed in vain, which among jewish communities is a sin, and in christian, catholic is in the grey, and again frowned upon, after all if it wasn't, protected sex wouldn't be disallowed, as it is essentially the same thing. and besides, way to FURTHER restrict your sex life. woo!

and I never said cheating on your partner was part of the fun, but having multiple sex partners, and exploring and discovering the world of sex and your body IS. Most of all, it is NATURAL.

So again, you seem to think I am saying that church goers avoid it because of sins, but I don't. many things that are fun in sex ARE sins, however most are simply socially...taboo I guess, within the hardcore community, and many will not do it because of that. Most of what many non-church goers do can be done by the church community too, but they don't for fear of being judged by their peers, their up-bringing, and their idea of what is proper and what is not. So from a technical standpoint you are correct, but from a REAL standpoint, not so correct. Social idealogy has a big pull on what you can or can't do, whether it is technically "allowed" or not.

and besides, half the joy of sex is not being restricted.

HaiBai wrote:

Jaekus wrote:

HaiBai wrote:

sorry but it's just hard to imagine.  besides, if i had to guess, i'd say that love drives sex, not the other way around.

If you read back you would see that:

a) I was talking to shifty;
b) he was talking about sex before marriage.

i realize that.  my question still stands.

btw: i'm not trying to tell you that you're wrong.  i'm just genuinely curious of your opinions

Both are important. I couldn't marry someone if the sex is bad. I also wouldn't be with someone long term I didn't love.

Jaekus wrote:

HaiBai wrote:

Jaekus wrote:

If you read back you would see that:

a) I was talking to shifty;
b) he was talking about sex before marriage.

i realize that.  my question still stands.

btw: i'm not trying to tell you that you're wrong.  i'm just genuinely curious of your opinions

Both are important. I couldn't marry someone if the sex is bad. I also wouldn't be with someone long term I didn't love.

i guess i see what you mean.

but another stupid question: how exactly can the sex be bad?  i mean, i understand that some sex can either be good or bad, but how can a couple be incompatible with each other in a sexual sense if they love each other?

HaiBai wrote:

Adams_BJ wrote:

HaiBai wrote:

anal sex and prostate stimulation are both fine. don't know where you got those from.

obviously, protected sex, sex with anyone other than your wife, and sex before marriage are not allowed.

you can avoid pregnancy without using birth control/condoms, so that doesn't mean anything.

so basically, having sex with anyone other than your spouse is why you're saying a 'christian's' sex life is not exciting, which i already pointed out.  i guess you can make that point, but your spouse is the only person you should be having sex with in the longrun, so it's honestly not that big of a problem.

Never said they were sins, now youre taking it out of context

Every priest/father/padre/nun/sister whatever I have ever asked (would be close to 100, all across australia and other countries and online) has frowned (not condemned) upon anything other than vaginal intercourse,. Ofcourse that will flow onto their followers as something that should also be frowned upon, and then many/most of the HARDCORE theists (again that I have talked to, which is numerous) will refuse to do it, not just because of this reason alone, but that flows onto the next point as well. And when your entire community frowns upon it or sees it as dirty, once again you are afraid of being judged.

Having sex at certain periods to avoid pregnancy could be seen as bad, same with oral or anal intercourse. You are spilling the seed in vain, which among jewish communities is a sin, and in christian, catholic is in the grey, and again frowned upon, after all if it wasn't, protected sex wouldn't be disallowed, as it is essentially the same thing. and besides, way to FURTHER restrict your sex life. woo!

and I never said cheating on your partner was part of the fun, but having multiple sex partners, and exploring and discovering the world of sex and your body IS. Most of all, it is NATURAL.

So again, you seem to think I am saying that church goers avoid it because of sins, but I don't. many things that are fun in sex ARE sins, however most are simply socially...taboo I guess, within the hardcore community, and many will not do it because of that. Most of what many non-church goers do can be done by the church community too, but they don't for fear of being judged by their peers, their up-bringing, and their idea of what is proper and what is not. So from a technical standpoint you are correct, but from a REAL standpoint, not so correct. Social idealogy has a big pull on what you can or can't do, whether it is technically "allowed" or not.

and besides, half the joy of sex is not being restricted.

i didn't take anything you said out of context.  i understood everything in the same way that you just described it in this post.

i dgaf about being judged by the catholic community.  religion is personal and i can understand or interpret the bible in a different way from someone else

the sole purpose of sex in christianity is not just procreation.  it's also all about unification of the male and the female.  it's completely fine to have sex with your spouse whenever the fuck you want.  if you hear otherwise, it's a myth.

even if that stuff is taboo, who's going to know about it?  sex is one of the most personal things you have.  nobody's going to judge each other because nobody even brings that shit up.  if there's a specific couple out there who doesn't like it or believe in it and they're happy, good for them.

Im talking hardcore here man, not well adjusted well rounded hardworking families who go to church every sunday and read the bible. As far as Im concerned they are normal everyday people, probably had more than one sex partner, maybe not. Lived like many other kids and teens when they were young, experimented like everyone else.

I'm talking the people that will wear 'sensible clothes', and do 'sensible things'. The same people that think anal sex, having carnal thoughts about someone and pornography are disgusting and perverted. Who never touched themselves or explored THEIR OWN BODIES. These people are going to grow up and have 'proper sex'. The exact type I was explaining to shifty. You know exactly the type im talking about.

Last edited by Adams_BJ (2012-02-13 18:56:08)

HaiBai wrote:

Jaekus wrote:

HaiBai wrote:

i realize that.  my question still stands.

btw: i'm not trying to tell you that you're wrong.  i'm just genuinely curious of your opinions

Both are important. I couldn't marry someone if the sex is bad. I also wouldn't be with someone long term I didn't love.

i guess i see what you mean.

but another stupid question: how exactly can the sex be bad?  i mean, i understand that some sex can either be good or bad, but how can a couple be incompatible with each other in a sexual sense if they love each other?

this comes down to whether sex drives are matched or not, openness between a couple to try or do things that one may want to do, sexual attractiveness, skill in bed even. There are a lot of factors that make sex good or bad, and not everyone is sexual compatible. Infact I've probably had more partners where it wasn't compatible than I have had that worked.

e: and what jay said. Love and sex are somewhat intermingled, but largely they are separate. Having sex with someone you don't love, or have no feelings for, may make you feel a little empty inside, but ultimately bad sex with someone you love is the same. Good sex won't make you love someone, and love won't make bad sex enjoyable.

Last edited by Adams_BJ (2012-02-13 18:58:20)

HaiBai wrote:

Adams_BJ wrote:

HaiBai wrote:

i didn't take anything you said out of context.  i understood everything in the same way that you just described it in this post.

i dgaf about being judged by the catholic community.  religion is personal and i can understand or interpret the bible in a different way from someone else

the sole purpose of sex in christianity is not just procreation.  it's also all about unification of the male and the female.  it's completely fine to have sex with your spouse whenever the fuck you want.  if you hear otherwise, it's a myth.

even if that stuff is taboo, who's going to know about it?  sex is one of the most personal things you have.  nobody's going to judge each other because nobody even brings that shit up.  if there's a specific couple out there who doesn't like it or believe in it and they're happy, good for them.

Im talking hardcore here man, not well adjusted well rounded hardworking families who go to church every sunday and read the bible. As far as Im concerned they are normal everyday people, probably had more than one sex partner, maybe not. Lived like many other kids and teens when they were young, experimented like everyone else.

I'm talking the people that will wear 'sensible clothes', and do 'sensible things'. The same people that think anal sex, having carnal thoughts about someone and pornography are disgusting and perverted. You know exactly the type im talking about.

i get what you mean when you say hardcore.  my point was that i know hardcore catholics who are hardcore in a religious sense, as in they majored in theology and almost became priests/nuns, yet they bring up their sex life in public.

i don't know if i would use hardcore to talk about the people you're talking about.  maybe conservative works better than hardcore

Adams_BJ wrote:

when you're that conservative, its a given. Sex has a lot to to with personality. Outgoing, open minded, experimental people with a healthy dose of reality are generally going to have a more exciting, explored sex life. Everything that hardcore church goers are not. They will do it as their duty, but they will have no.. lust for it I guess.

I mean after all, doggy style is for the natives!

Adams_BJ wrote:

HaiBai wrote:

Adams_BJ wrote:

Im talking hardcore here man, not well adjusted well rounded hardworking families who go to church every sunday and read the bible. As far as Im concerned they are normal everyday people, probably had more than one sex partner, maybe not. Lived like many other kids and teens when they were young, experimented like everyone else.

I'm talking the people that will wear 'sensible clothes', and do 'sensible things'. The same people that think anal sex, having carnal thoughts about someone and pornography are disgusting and perverted. You know exactly the type im talking about.

i get what you mean when you say hardcore.  my point was that i know hardcore catholics who are hardcore in a religious sense, as in they majored in theology and almost became priests/nuns, yet they bring up their sex life in public.

i don't know if i would use hardcore to talk about the people you're talking about.  maybe conservative works better than hardcore

Adams_BJ wrote:

when you're that conservative, its a given. Sex has a lot to to with personality. Outgoing, open minded, experimental people with a healthy dose of reality are generally going to have a more exciting, explored sex life. Everything that hardcore church goers are not. They will do it as their duty, but they will have no.. lust for it I guess.

I mean after all, doggy style is for the natives!

it just seemed like you were implying that all hardcore christians were conservative, which isn't really the case.

Jay wrote:

Because the emotional damage is already done. She'll always think sex is dirty and won't be willing to explore. I dunno why I'm even bothering explaining this. You'll marry and have sex with the same girl your entire life and won't know good sex from bad anyway

you're bothering to explain because you don't want me to become a socially weird human being

truthfully though, it seems like more and more teenages are losing their virginity way before marriage these days, even catholics.  we'll see what happens, i'm still young.

HaiBai wrote:

Jay wrote:

HaiBai wrote:

Jaekus wrote:

HaiBai wrote:

i realize that.  my question still stands.

btw: i'm not trying to tell you that you're wrong.  i'm just genuinely curious of your opinions

Both are important. I couldn't marry someone if the sex is bad. I also wouldn't be with someone long term I didn't love.

i guess i see what you mean.

but another stupid question: how exactly can the sex be bad?  i mean, i understand that some sex can either be good or bad, but how can a couple be incompatible with each other in a sexual sense if they love each other?

Because sex has nothing to do with love? Sex is sex. Some people are good at it, some people are bad at it. A lot of it has to do with the level of comfort that one has and the effort put out. A girl that's been sexually repressed all her life and doesn't even know where her clit is is going to be absolutely awful in bed. A lifetime of practice won't change that either. She'll be the cold fish sort just laying there and taking it.

This happens to be where all the Christian stereotypes stem from btw. All that repression fucks people up really well.

i don't understand.  a lifetime of practice won't make somebody better at sex?  didn't you just say that a girl that's been sexually repressed all her life who lacks sexual experience will suck at sex?  therefore, a girl who's been having sex since she was 13 will be good at sex since she's experienced and because she hasn't been sexually repressed.  basically, the girl who's good at sex is better at it because she has more experience?  why can't the girl who's been sexually repressed learn this through experience later on in life?

Not a girl who has sex since 13, but a girl who has felt free enough to explore her sexuality and her body since she was thirteen. I think what jay is getting at, is that if a girl who has gone her whole life seeing her own sexuality is taboo, and overly "pure", is going to grow into adulthood with the same attitude. You need to be able to please yourself before you can please others.

HaiBai wrote:

Adams_BJ wrote:

HaiBai wrote:

i guess i see what you mean.

but another stupid question: how exactly can the sex be bad?  i mean, i understand that some sex can either be good or bad, but how can a couple be incompatible with each other in a sexual sense if they love each other?

this comes down to whether sex drives are matched or not, openness between a couple to try or do things that one may want to do, sexual attractiveness, skill in bed even. There are a lot of factors that make sex good or bad, and not everyone is sexual compatible. Infact I've probably had more partners where it wasn't compatible than I have had that worked.

e: and what jay said. Love and sex are somewhat intermingled, but largely they are separate. Having sex with someone you don't love, or have no feelings for, may make you feel a little empty inside, but ultimately bad sex with someone you love is the same. Good sex won't make you love someone, and love won't make bad sex enjoyable.

i can understand the fact that sex and love don't relate to each other.

however, i just don't get why two people can be permanently incompatible sexually.  can't a couple learn to work with each other to make sure both partners are receiving the appropriate amount of enjoyability?

Not really, like I said before, people are built differently. My girlfriend and I are compatible because our sex drives are similar, and at similar times. She knows what she likes, and knows what it feels like to enjoy sex, so she openly tries new things, in a way that she can pleasure me as much as she can, and pleasure herself. She sees sex as something that has unlimited joys, wheres some girls are more self concious, don't know what it feels like to have that pleasure, so don't understand. Some girls just don't have the same drive as their partners, and vice versa. Some get aroused at miss-matched times. there's a lot that plays into it.