I snapped over an intentional Team Kill. It is called "TK-Rage". I'm dealing with this problem, but really I'm taking it one day at a time...really all you can do. My story:
Middle of the round in Karkland playing as MEC...was having a below average game...7 kills-15 deaths...I was just not on my game...so many close calls in firefights not going my way...so frustrating. After getting intentionally TK'd while heading towards a tank by some "clan dork", I finally got my hands on a tank...'salivating' at the though of driving down "death alley" and dealing out some bigtime pain...evening up the score. The same clan dork jumps in as gunner as I roll out and starts yelling "bail out". WHATEVER! The nerve of some people! Again 'salivating', thoughts of 'death alley'...those poor USMC's up on the hill...yummy...mmmm...finger-licking good...BOOOOM!!!! I am intentionally c4'd to death by clan dork! I see RED! I cannot believe what has happened. Everything is still red. I know what I have to do...the hunted now becomes the hunter...grrr!
Superfly has 15 seconds to ponder...tick, tock, tick, tock... Respawn Spec Ops. What happened next goes something like this: c4 on clan dork tank...BOOM, c4 vodick driven into clan dork tank...BOOM (didn't even get tk penalty for this one), tank surrounded with c4 and clan dork not being sure if he should get near tank...finally gets in after checking around for a few minutes...BOOM. <i can smell the burnt clan dork flesh by this point> Clan dork gives up on tank...goes out into the field...my G36C is out...BAAAAM, down goes clan dork! <I can now taste his blood> Out in the field again...sneak up behind clan dork <can smell his cheap cologne> and knife to back of neck......BOOTED!?!?!?!
Back to reality of the BF2 multiplayer console. OMG, what had I done? I'd become the very monster I had detested. I always considered myself a very sensible BF2 player...don't punish for unintentional TK's, never steal other's vehicles, don't tk for vehicles...what had I done? I'd been TK'd before but had never reacted like this! How could this happen? Could it happen again? I was terrified...I started drinking heavily...could not turn on BF2 without half a dozen shots of bourbon in me. I found myself breaking down into cold sweats whenever i though of clan dork. My work suffered...my wife left me...my dog wouldn't even look at me...my gold fish jumped out of his fish bowl as I was changing his water and took off down the toilet!
But then it happened while surfing the net one day! I found TKRA (Teamkill Rage Anonymous). I learned that I was not alone...that it could happen to very normal people. There were others like me! There was help!!! One month later, my life is back on track!!!! TKRA has changed my life...thank you TKRA:)
I am sharing this story with all of you in the hopes that I can help those of you dealing with the demons that haunt your past. I just want to let you all know that it is okay. It can happen to the most decent of players. It doesn't mean you're a bad person! And most likely this does not mean that you're going to hell.
I think it is important for others to share similar stories of TK Rage. This is an occurance which is larger that most would care to admit and it is important that those suffering in silence understand that it is OKAY and that there is life after TK Rage! Let's all pull together...shall we?
Thank you for your time and attention. I pray for you all and brothers, I'm there for you.
Middle of the round in Karkland playing as MEC...was having a below average game...7 kills-15 deaths...I was just not on my game...so many close calls in firefights not going my way...so frustrating. After getting intentionally TK'd while heading towards a tank by some "clan dork", I finally got my hands on a tank...'salivating' at the though of driving down "death alley" and dealing out some bigtime pain...evening up the score. The same clan dork jumps in as gunner as I roll out and starts yelling "bail out". WHATEVER! The nerve of some people! Again 'salivating', thoughts of 'death alley'...those poor USMC's up on the hill...yummy...mmmm...finger-licking good...BOOOOM!!!! I am intentionally c4'd to death by clan dork! I see RED! I cannot believe what has happened. Everything is still red. I know what I have to do...the hunted now becomes the hunter...grrr!
Superfly has 15 seconds to ponder...tick, tock, tick, tock... Respawn Spec Ops. What happened next goes something like this: c4 on clan dork tank...BOOM, c4 vodick driven into clan dork tank...BOOM (didn't even get tk penalty for this one), tank surrounded with c4 and clan dork not being sure if he should get near tank...finally gets in after checking around for a few minutes...BOOM. <i can smell the burnt clan dork flesh by this point> Clan dork gives up on tank...goes out into the field...my G36C is out...BAAAAM, down goes clan dork! <I can now taste his blood> Out in the field again...sneak up behind clan dork <can smell his cheap cologne> and knife to back of neck......BOOTED!?!?!?!
Back to reality of the BF2 multiplayer console. OMG, what had I done? I'd become the very monster I had detested. I always considered myself a very sensible BF2 player...don't punish for unintentional TK's, never steal other's vehicles, don't tk for vehicles...what had I done? I'd been TK'd before but had never reacted like this! How could this happen? Could it happen again? I was terrified...I started drinking heavily...could not turn on BF2 without half a dozen shots of bourbon in me. I found myself breaking down into cold sweats whenever i though of clan dork. My work suffered...my wife left me...my dog wouldn't even look at me...my gold fish jumped out of his fish bowl as I was changing his water and took off down the toilet!
But then it happened while surfing the net one day! I found TKRA (Teamkill Rage Anonymous). I learned that I was not alone...that it could happen to very normal people. There were others like me! There was help!!! One month later, my life is back on track!!!! TKRA has changed my life...thank you TKRA:)
I am sharing this story with all of you in the hopes that I can help those of you dealing with the demons that haunt your past. I just want to let you all know that it is okay. It can happen to the most decent of players. It doesn't mean you're a bad person! And most likely this does not mean that you're going to hell.
I think it is important for others to share similar stories of TK Rage. This is an occurance which is larger that most would care to admit and it is important that those suffering in silence understand that it is OKAY and that there is life after TK Rage! Let's all pull together...shall we?
Thank you for your time and attention. I pray for you all and brothers, I'm there for you.
Last edited by superfly_cox (2005-10-19 02:17:40)