Update...
Today, went over to parents'-in-laws house. In attendance, my parents (Mom's been sick, missed a trip so they came down), wife, my kids, sister-in-law and her two kids, grandmother-in-law, brother-in-law #2, and brother-in-law with bitch and her kid in tow.
Xmas dinner is at 5:30. Brother-in-law and bitch show up around 2:30, sit around. Bitch asks for one of my wife's famous cosmos. She tells everyone in the room it's too strong, multiple times. My wife tells her to put more cranberry juice in it. Her response: doesn't drink it, leaves it for someone else to clean up.
My wife got her hair lengthened this week. Bitch didn't notice. I don't really care about her not noticing, but my wife did (why I have no idea why, since she could care less anyway...but little things add up). Finally the wife says "like my hair?" She says something like, "well, it's long".
Bitch and bro-in-law decided they are going to see a movie tonight. Announce at 4:45 they are going to have to change clothes, since bro-in-law is still in his sleeping clothes (he wasn't). He's told by his mom that everything is casual and they don't have to change. In actuality, it was a cover story so they can buy tickets early. So they leave. Xmas dinner is delayed by 20 mins waiting for them to get back, for the third year in a row. I tell him "I think its awesome you guys sat on your ass for two hours and then decide to have everyone wait to eat dinner. I hope nothing is burnt."
Sit down for dinner, bitch complains about the burnt rolls, while they are the only ones that didn't help with dinner. Plus we had three starving kids melt down before dinner. Nice.
Dinner topic (with kids at the table) chaired by the bitch - discussion on how birth control is considered abortion by the Catholic church (not true) and therefore it's a sin. She did about three minutes before I cut her off, explaining the topic wasn't appropriate at family dinner, even without kids present. Started by telling her "filter...filter....filter...." and then explained.
Yeah, small crap like that. This is pretty typical...
As far as the advice, you guys are right, but it's falling on deaf ears. We tell him, and he shrugs it off...afterall it's not a big deal according to him. I need a new strategy, because they aren't listening. The only option I see is to avoid the dinners, but then we have to entertain the family separately, which won't last very long. We've also taken a stand...he doesn't see it as a problem, so nothing happens. So our new tact is to make it uncomfortable for them as possible but calling them out on every problem that arises.
When we have a family event, we only invite the parents. The problem is my in-laws end up inviting the rest of the family without us knowing. Whenever it happens (aka every fucking time) I tell my father-in-law that they weren't invited. Always its "oh, didn't know, I thought everyone was coming". My father-in-law is oblivious.
As far as my kids go, they are too young to explain the difference between a shitty or good comment. It's coming from an adult, which they take as law at that age. Yesterday I explained to my son that bitch isn't part of the family, and why. He didn't quite get it (unspoken but I could tell he was thinking "well they are at every family dinner...."). Plus the problem is her daughter goes to the same school so she's airing my kids' dirty laundry (according to the bitch's opinion). Imagine you are five or six, and your classmates are asking why you've been held back (which they haven't) or you are different because you weren't breastfed...when you don't even understand either concept. Do you want your kids being taught about breast feeding when they are five?
I'm just thankful the ring didn't come in a package under the family tree...he's the kind of guy who would "share" this event with the family. The only positive about that would have been seeing everyone's reaction and laughing about it later with the wife.
But it was a good Xmas...although the interaction was about the same. We have another family event tomorrow...yay.
Last edited by Pug (2009-12-25 22:30:01)
